I don't own Twilight or any of its' characters

BPOV

Chapter 24

"Human time"

The Olympic peninsula was the dreariest, rainiest area in the continental U.S... It rained nearly eighty percent of the time; it figured that on a day where I actually hoped for rain, the sun was shining brilliantly through Edward's bedroom window. I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock, it was almost eleven in the morning. I looked over to my left and some kind of lump of human was sprawled out beside me, breathing loudly; Edward. I rolled out of the bed clumsily and ambled over to his dresser, casually I went through a few drawers eventually finding a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants that I had no idea why he had. I wandered down the hallway and into the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror I could see that my carefully applied makeup and styled hair that was once so fashionable and mature, was ruined. Dark circles were under my eyes, where my eyeliner had smeared, my hair looked like an abandoned bird's nest and a red mouth shaped mark that I suspected was a hickey was forming on my neck. I got in the shower, shaking out all of my barrettes and bobby pins I had used to secure my hair the night before. My head was pounding, no, not pounding, reverberating. I hoped that the steam would make me feel better. When I was satisfied that I looked well enough to reenter the world, I exited the bathroom. For someone with such a slim physique, Edward's clothes were huge on me. I had to roll the waist band of the pants a couple of times to get them to fit appropriately and his shirt was baggy, but smelled fantastic. I breathed in the scent deeply and my head cleared slightly. When I reentered the bedroom, he was up, sitting on the edge of the bed holding his head in his hands miserably.

"How are you feeling?" I asked softly, sitting beside him.

"Why did you let me do that last night?" He groaned, not looking at me.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were having fun."

"I was, until about fifteen minutes ago."

"Do you need me to get you anything?" I asked trying to be helpful.

"No, I just have a headache, I'll be fine." I patted his back gently and disappeared back down the hallway returning moments later with a glass of water and two ibuprofen. I handed them to him and he looked at me skeptically.

"Go ahead; take them I just had like four. My head's banging pretty hard too." I said smiling weakly.

He obediently took the medication and gulped down the whole glass of water. "Thank you," he said placing the glass down on the bedside stand. He gave me a meaningful look and smiled at me. "Nice shirt," he said rubbing his fingers against the fabric of the sleeve.

"Thanks, it smells good too." I said inhaling another deep whiff.

"Glad you're enjoying it." He looked down, creasing his forehead at me "where did you find those pants?"

"In your drawer."

"Those aren't mine, those are definitely Emmett's." He said vehemently.

"Ew!" I squealed, "God I thought they were yours."

"I wouldn't go taking any deep whiffs of those if I were you," he teased.

"Gross. I thought they seemed a little big."

Edward stretched his long arms overhead and yawned, he lay back in the bed and I joined him alongside. "What happened last night? What time did I fall asleep?"

"You never really did fall asleep," I explained, "I think you passed out."

A look of confusion came over Edward's face, his eyes moved back and forth slowly as he put the pieces of the evening together in his mind, then I saw a small smile play on his lips. He looked over at me, suddenly remembering where he had left off previously. "I suppose that frustrated you to no end." He said shyly, reaching over and touching the faint bruise on my neck that no doubt he had been responsible for.

I touched my hand lightly to my throat, "oh, right." I said slightly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry about that." He said quietly, equally embarrassed.

"That's okay." I said shrugging it off casually. Really what I wanted to do was grab him and shake him and implore to him that he should do that more often, but I figured now was not the time for another one of my hormonal rants.

"I got a little carried away. It's probably better that I passed out. That wouldn't have been the appropriate scenario for someone's first time." He added. Suddenly the quiet of Edward's usually comfortable room became very awkward and noticeable.

I was shocked by the directness of his comment. Was he serious? Was last night supposed to be the night? I pondered that possibility for a moment, it certainly felt right, it had the potential for it…I hadn't realized we had come that close, Edward being as traditional and chaste as he was. Didn't he want a little more time to get used to being human before he took a step like that?

"Don't be sorry…" I started, "I liked it, didn't you?"

His eyes filled with concern and darted around the room, shying away from my face. He nervously touched the back of his neck and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. "Actually, last night was one of the best nights of my life." He returned his gaze to me and went on, "every part of it, particularly toward the end of the night. But, if I hadn't blacked out, things may have gone much farther." A pleased grin was starting to form across my face. Edward smiled and turned away from me, shaking his head disapprovingly, "and judging by that response you would have let them."

"Is that wrong?"

"No Bella of course that's not wrong, but I need to have some time to get used to all of these, feelings I'm having."

"What feelings?" I asked interested.

"I can't discuss this with you right now." He said firmly.

"Why not?" I asked sitting up, headache pain ebbing in me slightly.

He sat up too, "listen love, I'm trying to get used to being human again. It's only been twenty four hours, most people wait eighteen, twenty years before they jump headlong into a physical relationship." I opened my mouth in protest, he quickly placed his warm hands on either side of my face, "I'm just asking you for some time." He said slowly, locking his eyes on mine.

"You're not going to make me wait twenty years are you? I know time passes quickly when you're a vampire, but that's like centuries for a human in a monogamous relationship."

"Is that what this is?" He teased, I playfully slapped him in the arm, and he chuckled softly wincing slightly at the pain of his hangover. "I promise, it won't take twenty years, you can be sure of that. The way I'm feeling these days I'll be lucky if I can wait two months. Besides, when it does happen, it shouldn't be because of some kind of drunken romp. You deserve to be treated like a treasure, not a," he searched for the words crinkling his brow in frustration, "blow up doll. We'll save the drunken romp for the second time around."

"You're not going to plan this out with some romantic getaway or rose petals or candles or anything right? Because that's really hokey," I said smirking.

"Actually I was going to hire a violinist and draw you a bath." He said smirking back.

"I'd rather be treated like a blow up doll."

"That's disturbing," he said darkly.

Fine, I thought to myself, if he needed more 'human time', he could have it. He could have it because I saw what I needed to see last night. I saw right through Edward Cullen. I saw that beneath the gentle, romantic, responsible, inhibited man I loved was a dark, passionate, sensual man that I wanted. My breath caught in my chest a little as I remembered the feel of his face against my stomach and his tongue on my skin, I swallowed hard as Edward reached over and took my hand in his. Yes, I could wait for the two sides of his personalities to meet, I had a feeling it would be worth it.

"Bella," he said, interrupting my train of thought, "I want to talk to you about something."

"Okay. What is it?"

"I know that over the past few months everyone has been telling you that you're going to have to take care of me, and watch me and all that now that my situation has changed slightly. But, I don't want you to feel as if you have to do that." He said carefully.

"Do what? I'm not planning on doing anything any differently with you than I already do."

"You're not?" He asked in disbelief.

"No. I'm not going to baby you Edward and ask you how you're feeling every twenty minutes like everyone else does. I just, I wouldn't want people to do that to me if I were you. It's probably," my voice trailed off as I thought of the phrase that best fit the circumstances, I tapped my fingernail against my chin thinking, "It's probably, I don't want to say, difficult, being you right now, but it's certainly an adjustment and I understand that. Whatever you're feeling or craving or thinking right now, is none of my business. If you want to go out one night and get drunk and rowdy, that's your prerogative, if you want to eat an entire package of cookies for dinner and not brush your teeth, that's your business. I'm not going to tell you how to run your life, but if a time comes when I think you're doing something to hurt yourself or if you want to talk about anything, that's when I'll step in, and only then. It's your life now, enjoy it."

His expression became thoughtful as he tried to digest everything I had just said. He didn't seem surprised with where I stood on the issues lying ahead.

"But just out of curiosity," I said with a smirk, "how are you feeling?" I realized that I really hadn't been able to have a serious and meaningful conversation with Edward since he had woken up the other morning and I missed it.

He chuckled softly, the bed shaking under him, I watched in amazement as the laugh lines around his eyes became more defined. He was more beautiful to me this way then when he was the Adonis that I had become so accustomed to. "Where should I start?" He replied.

"Anywhere, start with your sense of smell."

"That's easy, it's gone. Well not gone, but not as prevalent. For example," he said taking my wrist gently and rubbing his face against it, "before I could smell you as soon as you entered a building, no matter the distance, but now, you still have the same appealing, beautiful scent," he shut his eyes and rubbed my wrist with his nose, "but I have to be much closer to you to get my fix," he murmured.

"That's not necessarily a bad thing." I said breathlessly.

He opened his eyes and smiled mischievously at me, "no, it's not." He replied, setting my arm back down in my lap.

"What about your sight?" I asked interested.

"I'm finding that I'm much more sensitive to light, hence," he said gesturing to his sunglasses on the bedside stand. "I can't see as well in the dark from what I can gather, in one day of being in this…state."

"Your hearing?"

"All of my senses seem to be less pronounced, except…"

"Except what?"

"I'm finding that I'm very moody. Just in the course of a day, I could feel a difference. I feel unbalanced and flighty. It's very disconcerting; I hope it's just my body adjusting to everything."

"Welcome to the world of a young adult." I said flatly.

"I forgot how awful it was." He said miserably.

"It's not that bad," I said climbing into his lap. He rested his arm on my thigh as I draped my arm around his neck, looking brightly into his eyes.

"How do you feel about all of the regular human stuff you have to do from day to day?" I asked, curious to get his whole take on that.

"Such as?" He sounded confused.

"Oh I don't know, eating, sleeping, personal hygiene, etcetera." I went on.

"I love to sleep." He said enthusiastically, "I think it may be the key to my undoing. I feel like I could sleep all day."

I giggled at how quickly he answered me, "that could be a problem, considering we have to go back to school in a couple of weeks and you have a bunch of early morning classes."

"Yes, I suppose I really screwed myself with that schedule."

"Yes, I suppose you did." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, "have you eaten anything yet?" I asked, he paused with his lips still on me.

"Not exactly," he muttered like he was in trouble.

"Edward!" I growled pulling away from him, "you fasted for two weeks and then slept for five days, you drank mass quantities of alcohol last night, how are you still even alive?"

"Should I feel nauseous all the time?" He asked very seriously.

"No Edward. Humans don't generally walk around sick to their stomach twenty-hours a day." I said incredulously.

He shrugged his shoulders as if this were the norm. "You really haven't eaten anything for almost three weeks?" I asked. He shook his head. "Come with me." I said taking his hand; he obediently followed me as I headed down to the kitchen.

Esme was kind enough to keep food in their unused kitchen for me when I spent lots of time around the Cullen house. Luckily, due to Edward's five day coma, the place was stocked with some of my favorites. I started brewing coffee for the two of us, and sat Edward down at the island in the center of the massive kitchen.

"I thought you said you weren't going to interfere." He said raising an eyebrow as he watched me pace around the kitchen grabbing for bowls and spoons.

"I said I would only interfere if I believed you were causing harm to yourself. Not eating for several days on end can be harmful to us humans. The only human allowed to pull that sort of thing is Bear Grylls and he's a professional."

Edward chuckled in amusement as he watched me reach into the cabinet and pull out a box of honey nut cheerios. I figured it wasn't much for a first meal, but after a night of binge drinking, we should both be eating something bland. I spilled some milk over the top of the cereal and cut up a banana, splitting it between the two of us. He was still watching when I put the bowl in front of him and then his face became serious.

He examined the pieces of banana floating in the milk and gave a distasteful grimace.

"What's the matter?" I asked taking the first bite of my cereal.

"Bella, I'm sorry but that looks repulsive."

"It's good," I said, "Come on Mr. Culinary major, cereal and banana, it's a classic pairing."

"I know, but I've never had to actually eat it before." He said swallowing hard.

"I can't believe you're being such a baby about this, you probably ate this sort of thing a dozen times when you were a kid."

"I'm sure you're right, but I can't remember any of that," he argued.

"Would it have been better if I put blood instead of milk in your cereal?" I teased, "Now that's repulsive."

"Very funny." He said glaring up at me over his bowl.

"Just try it, before it gets soggy." I instructed as I took the last bite of my breakfast.

He sighed deeply, angrily picked up his spoon and gave his cereal a challenging look. I watched in amusement, putting my hand over my mouth to avoid laughing out loud at the sight of it; a grown man who, in a previous life had fought vampires, thrown himself in front of moving vehicles and killed wild animals was letting a breakfast food get the best of him. He narrowed his eyes in discord at me. He lowered his spoon into the bowl and picked up a hefty pile of cheerios and fruit and quickly popped it into his mouth. His eyes shifted side to side as he chewed and swallowed hard, I watched in eager anticipation for his response.

"Ugh, God that's awful." He exclaimed nearly choking.

"Let me try," I said yanking his spoon from him, I scooped up a mouthful and tasted it. "You waited too long and it got soggy, of course it's awful." I said agreeing with him.

I snatched up his bowl and dumped it out and refilled it, with less milk and no banana this time. "Now try it," I ordered.

He took another taste hesitantly, considerably dissuaded from his last cereal experience. "That's much better," he said, relieved.

"Good." I smiled, I heard a slurping sound coming from the counter, the coffee was finished brewing. "Now, it's time to meet your new best friend." I said turning off the burner. I grabbed two mugs and threw a packet of splenda in each. Edward watched curiously as he finished his cereal. I filled the two mugs three quarters of the way with the New England coffee breakfast blend I had prepared and then topped them off with a heaping glug of hazelnut flavored creamer.

I eagerly put the full mug in front of him and said, "Now try that."

He wrapped his hands around the warm mug and breathed in deeply, "that actually smells very pleasant." He said looking up at me hopefully.

"It is pleasant, and the caffeine in it gives it a vital purpose Mr. I love to sleep." I said sipping mine.

He smiled and took a slow sip making a slurping sound, quickly wiping his mouth in embarrassment. A contemplative look crossed his face as he took in the flavor he was experiencing, and then was replaced by a look of satisfaction. "That's fantastic."

"Another victim is taken." I teased, sipping deeply from my own mug.

He finished his entire cup of coffee in a matter of moments, "how much of that do we have left?" He asked nodding his head toward the coffee maker.

"I'll put on another pot." I sighed climbing off my chair.

"You're going to have to get home to Charlie soon." Edward said as he started on his third cup of coffee.

"Yeah I know, so much for getting me home early." I said morosely.

"I'm glad you stayed."

"I am too."

"Bella, I meant what I said about you not having to worry about me."

"I know." I replied.

"I don't think you do," he stood up and walked over to where I stood at the counter and placed his hands softly on my shoulders. "We have plenty of time to be together when we get back to Alaska, but we're only in Forks for a few more weeks. You have a life out here other than me, you have friends and family, and you need to see them."

"I will, I mean I do, I mean, but what about you?" I stuttered.

"You need to spend time with Charlie and Angela, and…" His face scrunched up and he sounded like he was going to choke, "Jacob." He regained his composure and continued, "They are all as meaningful to your life as I am and you need to see them. I don't want you hanging around me constantly while we're home because you feel as if I need a keeper. Although," he smiled selfishly," nothing makes me happier than when you are around me. Do you understand what I am saying to you? Does any of that make sense?"

"Of course it does."

"You should go spend time with Charlie. I'm a mess anyways, I need to clean up and possibly take a nap."

I giggled softly, he smiled his crooked smile at me and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. "I love you so much," he murmured.

"I love you." I said in a muffled tone because my face was pressed against his chest.

"Come on then, I'll take you home and meet back up with you tonight." He reached for a coat hanging on the wall

"Can I make you dinner? You and Charlie I mean?"

"Are you going to force me to eat cereal again?" He asked hesitantly, putting on his aviator sunglasses.

"Definitely not."

"Then yes, I would love for you to make me dinner."

"It's a date."

When I got home, Charlie was asleep, so hopefully he hadn't noticed that I hadn't come home as early as I had said I would. Around one o'clock he had woken up, by then I had changed my clothes and done a load of laundry and was watching TV leafing through a cooking magazine, in search of the proper thing for Edward's first real meal.

"Good morning Chief Swan." I called from the couch as he made his way down the stairs.

"Hey Kiddo, how was your night?" He yawned.

I turned in my seat and looked at him over the back of the couch. "It was great."

"Where'd you go?"

"Some swanky restaurant in Seattle that Alice likes. Then we went back to the Cullens and just hung out." Lies, all lies I thought to myself.

"Sounds like a pretty tame night." Charlie sighed, settling into his recliner. "What are your plans for today?"

"I was actually planning on hanging around here and then Edward was going to come over for dinner tonight, will you join us?"

Charlie raised a graying eyebrow in speculation, "Edward, is going to eat here? Bella in the two years he's been coming around I've never seen him so much as lift a fork."

"Yes, that's true, he has had some food aversions in the past, but, his culinary major is exposing him to different things." I explained feebly.

"Didn't you say he was a vegetarian?" He asked, shoot, I did say that.

"Um, yeah, but that was kind of a phase he was going through…he's got more…variety in his diet now." I smiled innocently at my befuddled father.

"You're not going to make any of that soy based hippie food that you like are you?" Charlie asked nervously.

"No dad." I grumbled as I pictured the steak and potato dinner I was going to attempt to make. "I have to go grocery shopping, so are you going to have dinner with us or not." I asked in an irritated tone.

"Sure Bells, I'll have dinner with you two."

"Good." I said shutting closed the magazine I had, "I'm going to go to the store." I hopped off the couch and grabbed my jacket and keys.

"Do you need me to do anything to help?" Charlie asked from the recliner.

"Nope, just be here, I'll take care of everything else." I said slipping my arms into my jacket. "I'll be back soon."

Edward was coming over at seven, I don't know why I was so nervous, but I was. I wanted everything to be perfect, and Charlie could see that I was making a huge fuss over everything. Charlie had a dining room, believe it or not, but we rarely used it, not since my mother had left were there more than two of us eating at a time. It was just more sensible for Charlie and I to casually eat at the kitchen table and it didn't seem quite as sad. I knew he still loved my mother and that he missed her and it made my chest hurt when I thought about him spending so much time alone. I wished he would meet someone who was better matched to him than Renee was and that they could be happy together, like Edward and I were. I wished that Charlie could find someone like that someday; I didn't think that it was fair for my father to have to be alone.

Sitting three comfortably at the kitchen table was near impossible, so I decided to set the dining room table for tonight. I scoured the kitchen cabinets for three plates that weren't chipped and found two. The third I decided would be my plate, so I found the one that had the least noticeable damage. I found three glasses that matched one another and put out the silver ware. I even bought an inexpensive khaki table cloth while I was out that came with matching linen napkins that I dressed the table with.

I decided on steak, mashed potatoes, and spiced carrots, a dinner that was considerably manly and comfortable but also dinner party appropriate. I had gone to Whole Foods for the meat and my regular grocery store for everything else. By six fifty, I had pulled the Delmonico steaks off the heat, and put a dollop of herb butter on them, allowing them to rest for ten minutes or so, giving the juices time to redistribute, thus creating a juicy steak, at least that's what Rachel Ray instructs. I mashed up the sour cream and onion potatoes and placed them in a serving dish, rather than serve them out of a pot, like I usually did. The carrots were just finishing up when I heard Edward's car outside. I plated up everything and ran it into the dining room; I quickly lit candles and adjusted my vase of flowers. I felt like I was trying to impress some uppity food critic. I knew dinner wasn't that big of a deal, but that Edward and Charlie would appreciate the effort regardless, Edward would especially.

I hear the familiar sound of Edward's soft knock at the front door and hurried to let him in, grabbing the apron that I had on off of my waist hastily and tossing it behind Charlie's recliner. I composed myself and turned the knob to let him in.

"Hello love," he said warmly. I looked closely at him, trying to pick out what was different about him. Then I figured out that his cheeks were flushed from the cold and I could see his breath when he spoke.

"Hello Edward," I said smiling in amusement at the scarf he was wearing around his neck. I stepped back and let him into the house, still smiling at him.

He removed his coat and scarf and slung them over the banister, I stood close behind him, just watching his movements. His cheeks were still rosy and I reached up and touched him. He rested his hands on my waist, watching me watching him. He playfully shook the cold rain out of his hair, getting my face wet and chuckled lowly. He was clean shaven and wearing a blue button down shirt. I noticed a tiny scratch under his jaw presumptively where he had cut himself shaving and I ran my finger across it.

"Ninety years since I've had to shave, I'm surprised I didn't cut my throat and bleed to death." He said rolling his eyes.

I smiled and lightly kissed the abrasion, "are you hungry?" I asked happily.

"Starving," he said emphatically, "what are we having?"

"You'll see." I said wiggling out of his embrace. I called upstairs to Charlie and took Edward's hand and led him toward the dining room.

"We're eating in here?" He asked surprised, "Bella, I hope you didn't go to a lot of tro…" his voice trailed off as we walked into the room. A look of bewilderment crossed his face as he saw the flowers and candles and food. "Trouble," he said, finishing his thought. He shot me a sideward glance and an endless grin crossed my face. "What's all this for? You never eat in here."

"It's for you, and Charlie of course, the two most important men in my life." I explained.

"Thank you love, it's perfect," he said taking my hand.

I heard Charlie coming down the stairs, "Bells, where are you?"

"In here dad."

Charlie walked in and a look similar to that of Edward's crossed his face. "Bella, what's all this about? Is something going on with you two?" He asked in a panicky voice.

"No dad, I just wanted to do something nice for the two of you."

"Oh. Well, that's great then. Hello Edward." He said gruffly.

"Hello Charlie," Edward said shaking his hand politely.

"Food's going to get cold." I said impatiently, "Edward, can you help me get drinks?"

"Certainly," he answered, picking up the three glasses.

"Can I do anything Bells?"

"No dad, just sit down and relax, we'll be right back."

Edward obediently followed me out to the kitchen and set down the glasses.

"What do you want to drink?" I asked walking to the fridge.

"What do you usually have?" He asked curiously.

"I usually have milk." A look of distaste crossed his face and he crinkled his forehead, I assumed he was remembering the cereal incident from the morning.

"What does Charlie usually have?"

"Beer." I answered.

An even more deep seeded look of distaste crossed his face and his eyebrows knitted together for a moment as I assumed he remembered his hangover from this morning. "Maybe I should just stick with water for now love." He said politely.

Dinner seemed to be going off without a hitch as I watched Charlie and Edward scarf down their food. I was sure that if it were just Edward and I, he would have taken more time to eat. But since Charlie was there he had to portray the typical eating style of a nineteen year old college student that had come home after eating nothing but ramen noodles for five months. I wondered what he thought about it, I would have to ask him later tonight when he cam…then I remembered that Edward wouldn't be able to visit me at night anymore. He couldn't possibly climb up that tree and into my window without causing a disturbance. Not to mention, he would have to drive his car to get here, he couldn't just come on foot any longer and then, where would he park it? And before, if Charlie woke up, he would know and used to be able to move so quickly that he would almost disappear before Charlie came in. I pursed my lips in irritation and stabbed my fork into my last piece of meat and popped it into my mouth.

I watched him and Charlie together, Charlie made some stupid joke that made Edward laugh and I could see the laugh lines around his eyes and perfect mouth appear. I suppose not being able to spend the night with him was a small sacrifice if I could look at that for the rest of our days. He saw me watching him and glanced over at me for a moment with his glorious, green human eyes, the eyes our child might have someday. Yes I suppose I could get over not being able to see him tonight for that.

"Edward, did you get contacts or something?" Charlie asked suddenly.

"No, why?" He answered coolly, cutting a piece of meat and putting it into his mouth.

"Well, aren't your eyes usually brown or gold or something?" Charlie inquired. I had a flashback of the first few days I had met Edward at school and had also noticed the way his eyes would change color. Charlie must have been the one I had picked up that characteristic from.

I felt my back stiffen up and Edward threw me a warning glance for me to keep calm. "Technically, they're hazel, but they look greener on certain days, I'm not exactly sure why." He confidently explained.

That answer seemed to befuddle Charlie a little, but it was satisfactory for now. We eased back into our casual conversation. We finished dinner and moved onto dessert which was store bought from Whole Foods as well, but was delicious all in the same. By the time everything was finished, there was a huge pile of dishes in the sink, I groaned to myself at the thought of washing and putting them away. Luckily, I didn't have to, because Charlie and Edward insisted upon doing it for me.

I stayed seated at the dining room table while they cleared everything away and I could hear the two of them in the kitchen together. I had nothing to do but sit and think. Topaz noiselessly hopped up on the table and head butted me. He was starting to get much bigger now, while still maintaining that kittenish look about him. He purred and stretched out on the table before me. I scooped him up in my arms like a baby and started talking to him. He was doing much better since his surgery and my thoughts briefly went to Juno. It occurred to me that I hadn't even thanked her yet, thanked her for the gift she had given to Edward, to us.

He seemed so much more at ease these past two days, he seemed like he was finally comfortable in his own skin. I felt like it was a new beginning for us, like everything we did together would be a new experience for him. I wondered if he had felt he had lost anything because of his transformation. His power was gone; I knew that for a fact. Edward still remained a strong man, but I could see that it wasn't as easy for him to pick me up as it once was. He said he could still smell me and I was glad for that, he claimed he could still hear other people's thoughts, but I assumed not as acutely as before. I wondered if he still had all of his talents, if he could still run, if he could still play piano, if he was still as astute and brilliant as he had once been. I wondered if all of those qualities were simply a side effect or if they really were once a part of him. I wanted to know what he was like before, because then I would have a better idea of what he was going to be like now. I had so much that I wanted to ask him.

Topaz purred loudly and touched my face with his paw. I roughly grabbed his head, holding back his ears and kissed him on the nose. His eyes bugged out of his head and he smacked his lips nervously and purred again. I was so surprised that he being a stray would let me do anything to him. He had so much trust in me that he knew I would never do anything to harm him. I suppose I could relate. I gently kissed his head and I felt his paw kneading against my arm. "Do you want to hear a secret?" I said softly as Topaz stared up at me, this was a game he and I played, I would tell him secrets. I would put my mouth against his ear and make little whispery swooshing noises, and he would slam his head against mine and purr. My mother used to do it to me, so that's how I related to our cat, I was his mom and he was my baby. I whispered some more in his big, orange, conical earandhe kneaded his paw against my arm furiously. I giggled and nuzzled my face against his furry head. I was startled to see Edward standing in the doorway silently watching me with his arms across his chest.

"What?" I asked defensively. I put Topaz down and as soon as he saw Edward he starting meowing and I realized that it was the first time he had seen Edward in weeks.

"Hey little man," Edward said reaching down and picking him up. He held him midair, inches away from his face and I could hear Topaz purr loudly. He carefully lifted the cat to his shoulder and held perfectly still. Topaz gingerly made his way onto Edward's shoulder and perched comfortably and started chewing at Edward's hair.

"When did he learn how to do that?" I giggled; the cat looked like a trained circus monkey.

"We were working on it before I left for Christmas break. I'm surprised he still remembers." He explained, raising his eyes to the cat on his shoulder.

"He loves you," I said smiling.

Edward rolled his eyes at me and gently held on to Topaz's tail to steady him as he walked to the dining room table to sit with me. Topaz sat with him for a few minutes more and then trotted off to find Charlie. Edward reached across the table and took my hands in his, examining them for a moment and then said, "Bella, dinner was wonderful, thank you so much."

"I hope you liked it." I said shyly, "I really wasn't sure what to make."

"It was perfect, thank you. It means a lot to me."

"It means a lot to me for you to be here with me now." I said quietly.

"What do you mean?" he asked perplexed.

"Well, it just seems that you've given up an awful lot to be who you are now. I just wanted to thank you."

"Bella, I would give up everything just so I could be with you. Everything else to me is inconsequential. It's meaningless to me if I can't have you beside me."

"Even your personality?" I asked darkly.

"Explain please." He stated sternly.

"I don't know, I was just wondering, if everything, your music, your mind, your strength, all the things you enjoy, if they were just…" my voice trailed off, I nervously twisted a ring I had on around on my finger.

Edward's face looked thoughtful for a moment and then enlightened as he understood what I was getting at, "if they were a side effect?" he finished my question using the very words I had thought of earlier.

I nodded my head slowly making a tight line out of my mouth. I hoped I hadn't offended him. I hoped that he knew that no matter who he was or what he could do I loved him regardless.

A smile crossed his face and he started to laugh softly, "Bella, I can't answer that, it's only been two days. But, I'm fairly certain, that all those things I was able to do in the past, all those things that I enjoyed, will still give me pleasure, but will just be a little more hard pressed to come by. The studying, the reading, the music, I wouldn't be able to do them as well as I could, had I not already had an interest in them to begin with. Just because you're a vampire doesn't necessarily mean you have to be astute and deep. Look at Emmet, he hasn't picked up a book for decades, he probably can't even name the fifty states. However, he could probably recite to you the starting lineup of every basketball team on the west coast for over the last eighty years." He smiled playfully and sat back in his chair. "Rosalie can take my entire car apart and put it back together in an hour. I certainly can't. Who we are in our 'afterlife'" he said throwing up quotation marks with his fingers, "is determined by who we are in our mortal life. Having the powers of a vampire just allows you to become very advanced in whatever you choose to pursue very quickly, but it doesn't change who you really are. I don't think anything can do that."

"Aren't you afraid of what's ahead of you?" I asked, "You never had to be afraid of anything before, but now you're as vulnerable as I am. Now you have to wear your seatbelt when you drive like a maniac."

More laughter on Edward's end of the table, "Bella, that's not true, I was afraid of plenty before."

"But you didn't have to be," I started.

He raised a hand up to quiet me, "Let me finish please. True, I didn't have to be afraid of anyone, bad weather, lean times, sickness, etcetera. However, the thing I was most afraid of was being around you, slipping up in some awful way, harming you, killing you at one point, and now," he said proudly, gesturing at his new self, "I have taken care of that. My worst fear has been vanquished and now I can just enjoy my life."

"Even though it's much shorter now," I said sadly.

"Doesn't matter," he said, "you're safe and we're together, I'll gratefully take whatever time I can get with that piece of mind."

His optimism blew me away; finally after all of this time of him telling me that I should stay away from him, he was asking me to stay with him.

"I'm sorry you never got your long anticipated chance at immortality." He said suddenly.

"No you're not." I snapped playfully.

"No I'm not." He replied with a grin.

"So, your fancy, mysterious, supernatural boyfriend is gone now. Replaced by an ordinary, hungover teenager that will probably go bald and gain hundreds of pounds in the next twenty years," he said, leaning toward me, "any regrets?"

"Not yet." I whispered, leaning in toward him. "Besides, I think you're too vain to let yourself go like that." I accused, looking over his designer clothes and perfect hair.

"Ouch," he said hurtfully. He leaned in closer and kissed me softly on the lips. "Do I still dazzle you?" he murmured seductively as he pulled away slightly, teasing me.

"Even more than before." I breathed as I kissed his bottom lip.

His breathing got heavier and as he leaned in further, I felt his lips brush softly against my neck; I waited in anticipation, my heart in my mouth. I felt him near my ear and I heard him crack a smile, "Charlie's coming." And with that he quickly sat back in his chair with a smirk. I had to admit, that was a very useful talent that he had.

It started getting late on Charlie's watch and Edward was getting ready to leave, he said goodnight to Charlie and I walked with him out to his car. We stood alongside the Volvo and didn't say much.

"soo," I said awkwardly, sticking my hands in my pockets, "no sleepovers anymore I guess." I frowned.

"Probably not love. I'm sorry."

"Not even if you're really quiet?" I asked hopefully, knowing what the answer would be.

He chuckled a little and his breath sent a cloud of fog into the cold night air. "It's not the noise I'm worried about. I'm more worried about falling asleep with you and not being able to wake up in time or not caring to."

Without meaning to, I reached up and adjusted the collar of his coat and buttoned him up in an effort to keep him warm, since clearly the cold affected him now. He smiled shyly at me and kissed me on the cheek. "You should get inside, it's freezing out here. I'll make this up to you, if I'm not able to sleep over any more, then I'll be here all the earlier in the morning."

"Promise?" I asked.

"Promise."