(A/N- thank you to all the people that have read the previous chapters,please review I'd really appreciate it)
Part of me wanted to go see Blight and demand he came to help me but an even bigger bigger part of me told me if I saw him I'd want to kill him. This year being a mentor was exhausting me and I felt as if I had nobody to fall back on. Finnick wasn't always around and not many other people liked me. I know I'm responsible for that but even me needed some comfort.
The days were ticking by and the numbers had dropped to 5. They'd been in there a week and a half now and I knew it wouldn't go on much longer. For a moment I let my pathetic little mind consider that Tom could actually win. There was still the boy for 1 left and also the girl from 2, then there was Tom and Phoebe and the boy from 11 was left too. He was tall built but with a lack of sponsors, I doubt if any disaster or mutts entered the arena he would live. The two Career's where in alliance so I knew one of the alliances would have to break soon. But to my surprise, neither Tom or Phoebe had mentioned it. Part of me wondered if it was because she was scared he'd try and kill her.
Today they'd been no deaths so I stayed sat on my chair staring intently at the screen awaiting action. Awaiting something to draw them together. But nothing needed to happen because then I heard Tom's words in my head piece. "I think it's time we found the Careers." He told her. She seemed a little unsure but decided to compromise. "We'll go tomorrow morning." She decided. It was tea time now so that seemed like a good idea. They had two spears and a few knives which would probably be enough until he got his hands on that axe. I've seen the way he throws it about as his grandfathers furniture shop and what's the difference from cutting wood to cutting people? Nothing when your a tribute.
I couldn't understand why they were working as a team still but if Tom thought it was best then fine. They were still beside the stream so Tom moved over to the stream trying to grab a fish with his knife. I could see Phoebe roll her eyes slightly. She bent down by his side and caught one in her fingers just like that. A triumphant smile spread across her lips at the fact she could do she thing better than him. But she was from the district of fishing after all. "You look pretty smiling." Tom observed as he visored the sun with his hand over his eyes. "Am I not pretty in general?" She asked a little offended. Exactly like Finnick. "Under all that grunge and cuts, I haven't been able to see, but you are." He assured her gentlemanly. It was in that second that I realised why this alliance hadn't ended. It was because they were friends. Friends that had kept each other alive for the past week. For a second the two of them reminded me of Finnick and I. "Thank you." She smiled gutting the fish with her knife. I realised then that the games makers wouldn't do anything to them tonight. For tonight they were safe.
Sandy one of the district 4 mentors pulled a chair out beside me. I didn't usually do business with her. "I'm going to send them a proper meal. Finnick's scraped up enough money." She informed me. I looked into her piercing green eyes. "Thank you. That means a lot." I told her honestly. To my surprise she stroked my arm in comfort as she passed. Perhaps I wasn't hated by these people. I knew they disliked me but I wouldn't say they outrightly hated me.
It was probably my highlight of this years games watching Them both enjoy that meal. Especially since it put a colour to their skin and a smile to their lips. Finnick was enjoying watching them eat just as much as me, and as sick as it sounded I couldn't help wonder who he'd slept with for that meal. "Was it worth it?" I whispered in his ear as I passed. His light chuckle crept up on me. "It was worth it to see them eat. But lets just say I'd have rather of had one of our takeaway and piss take nights." He whispered. I rolled my eyes ever so slightly. "Like you don't enjoy it." I laughed taking the coins from his hand and slotting it into the vending machine. "Trust me I don't." He disagreed. "I'm not a complete player Johanna. But I guess you could say I've got used to it." He shuddered. I tapped his cheeks with my hand and placed the kit kat from the machine into his hand. "Half each?" He offered. I took my half taking a bite and letting the crumbly biscuit fall onto my tongue. "How romantic." I joked heading back over to my chair. "So Jo Jo. When's our next night together?" He asked me stroking my shoulders as I sat back in my seat. "Blights probably dead in his room so around about next games." I told him as I began to fiddle with buttons on the Machine. "I'm sure Tom wouldn't forbid you sleep?" He pointed put but I didn't know if I could do it. "4hours? Good meal and some sleep. Come on Jo it'd do you good.." He tempted me. "Why you so fussed anyway?" I grumbled looking up at him. I was starting to wonder if those Capitol women sprayed gold on him because I swear he looks even more gold today. "I could do with the sleep too." He admitted but he was too proud to say he needed someone who wasn't a Capitol girl with him to stop the nightmares. "Fine. But if Tom is killed in them 4hours I'm not gonna be happy." I warned him but he'd already took my hand and was leading me out the door.
When we were in the lift, I asked who's room we were going to. "Yours, Mags is still having that nap in my bed." He chuckled. I was beginning to get rather good at Mags language. It was muffled but only on the odd occasion would I have to ask Finnick to translate now. When we arrived at my room, the man I hate the most at the moment was sat at my dining table. "How'd the hell did you get in my room?" I snarled. "Ah this is cosy... Didn't think you were the type to have Finnick Odair's sort for the odd night." He commented his eyes moving between us both. "Well I didn't think you were the type to leave a 19year old girl alone for a week in charge of a boys life. So get the f**k out of my room." I screamed At him. He held his hands up staggering towards me. "I'm off to the Hub." He told me. I shook my head. "You can destroy the rest of my life but don't you go ruining his!" I shouted at him not letting him out the door because I'm scared he's going to waste out sponsor money on something stupid. "You think you know everything but you don't..." He trailed off.
"I've kept Tom alive haven't I? And don't go making comments about what I do and don't do with Finnick because your lifestyle choice of being buried in a bottles hardly anything for me to aspire to." I carry on shouting but since Blight's not shouting back I give up. He's a waste of space. "Just go." I sighed shutting the door behind him. "Oh and Jo. I've wiped out your alcohol." He called from the other side of the door. I didn't retaliate.
Tonight being with Finnick, reminded me of someone else. It reminded me of my
Jack. Jack was a boy I'd been to school with and not long after I won the games and needed comfort for the loss of my family, he had my back. He didn't for a second want my money, he only ever cared for me. I began growing very dependent on him and our relationship became serious very quickly. For the first time in my life, I was practically head over heels in Love. For a while, I considered the possibility of being happy again. We'd even discussed getting married. Jack saw a different side to me that nobody else saw. I thought I was beginning to get better. But on the first year of mentoring, I allowed Jack out of my sight and went to the Capitol. When I returned, he had been killed. Killed by President Snow. Well perhaps not him himself but he had made it happen. I've never got over that since. I've never told anyone, not even Blight, about Snow killing him. I haven't even told Finnick. Tom reminded me of Jack in a strange way. The way he is tall, dark haired like me and strong. That's why I've never had any partner since. That's why I hate Snow to the point when my skin crawls.
"Johanna what are you thinking?" Finnick asked me as I laid eyes open staring at the ceiling. "Finnick. How come you've never held onto a girlfriend?" I asked him quietly. For a second I wondered if snow had killed someone close to him too. "I have. It's just.." He chuckled slightly. "I keep her hidden. It's the only way to keep her safe." He whispered. Ah. So he went along being with all these women so he could keep the one he loved safe. "So she's from home?" I asked him. He nodded. "You know her. It's Annie Creseta." He whispered in my ear. My eyes widened. Annie Creseta. The victor that was too mental and traumatised to come to the games. Of all the girls Finnick could have and he had some mad woman? But I wouldn't question it because if he loved her than that was enough for me. "And what does she think to you coming here and spending nights with all these girls?" I asked him, my eyebrows raised.
"Annie doesn't know too much. She knows the lengths I go to to keep her safe." He breathed clearly hurt by my remark. So Finnick is only the way he is to keep his real love safe. What a sick world we live in if Finnick Odair can't even be with the person he loves. "Does Snow know about you two?" I asked him quietly almost angry that I hadn't seen through Snow and protected Jack better. "Yes. But he says If I can compromise, keep her in the shadows and do my job then he'll let her be." Finnick told me, a hint of sickness to his voice. I suddenly felt emotional. I got up crossing the room and hovering over the sink waiting to be sick but nothing came. "What's a matter?" He asked me. I wasn't ready to tell anyone so I just fell Into his chest and allowed him to hug until I fell asleep.
(Dreaming about when she first met Jack and what happened to him)
Strolling down the road with my eyes to the ground, I suddenly bumped into a 6 foot tall man carrying half a dozen logs. "I'm sorry." I stammered. But then he pulled down my hood. "Johanna?" He asked me. I focused into his eyes. "Jack." I realised. I walked with him back to his fathers joinery. "So how's it feel? Being rich and all?" He asked me once he dropped down the logs. With all the pain I felt from my families death all I could say was this. "It's overrated." I told him.
Jack then asked his father if he could have the afternoon off and we both took a walk along the river."how are you coping?" He asked me in concern. If I'm honest the boy in front of me who I sat near in some of my classes seemed like a distant memory. It's as if I knew him in another life. Some People knew about my family but they didn't know how. Majority of people that knew thought my father had killed himself because he watched me turn into a monster in them games. As for my other family relatives. It was a mystery. I wasn't surprised Jack knew since his father and my father were friends. When I couldn't reply, he decided to take me home. The state of my house was terrible. With liquor bottles and plates of unfinished food piled all over my house, it would take a genius to tidy up this mess. It took us a whole day to clean just the downstairs. In that time, we talked, eventually laughed and even sung. It was the first time in the 3months of being alone in my house that I actually felt a smidgen of happiness.
After that day he came around every evening and on all his days off. We'd go for picnics and walks. Eventually the talking turned to kissing and the kissing turned to other things. It was 2 months before the next games at the point when he asked me. "We should get married." He brought up as we laid by the river on a rug. I looked up at him, his deep brown eyes captivating me. "We have a long time for that." I whispered burying my face in his chest.
As the weeks went by and the games became closer, the nightmares got worse. Even Jack couldn't contain my kicking and screaming in the night. But when the reaping day came, I kissed him goodbye and told him that I'd take him up on that offer of marriage when I'm home. That made his day. He gathered a bundle of pine needles and put them in a sock and gave it me. Jack told me he loved me all the time yet I never told him back because honestly I was scared to admit I loved anyone. But as the train doors began to shut, I called one thing to him. "Jack. I love you." And there it happened the doors closed and I never saw Jack again. Snow took away the only person who was capable enough to make me happy and that is why I hate him and myself.
When I awoke I felt saddened that that dream had turned into a nightmare. Finnick asked no further questions but he kept a close eyes on me for the rest of the day. When I arrived at the Hub, Tom and Phoebe where just making preparations to leave. I saw a glint of nervousness in his eyes as they walked silently through the woods which only made me more in edge. They weren't far from the Careers base now and I held onto the arms of my chair as I waited impatiently.
The careers were heavily armed and I knew we had a bloody fight on out hands. This would be what the whole entire Capitol were waiting for. Their plan was for Phoebe to go straight in for try attack whilst Tom got his hands on the axe that was located at the entrance of the Cornucopia. I can't say it's the wisest plan but it was too late now. They were watching the boy from 1 and the girl from 2 from the tree linings ready to attack. "No regrets." Phoebe whispered and they squeezed each other's fingers before running straight at the cornucopia.
Since the Careers weren't anticipating the attack it took them a few moments to get on their feet. Phoebe dodged the first arrow sent at her and threw her knife directly at the girls face. It just skimmed her hairline causing blood to trickle. The boy from 1 was on Tom now but thankfully Tom already had the axe pledged between his fingers. A spear went flying in Tom's direction but it just missed him skimming the side of his leg and probably slicing a bit of skin. This was Tom's moment. Tom's moment to show his strength. He began charging at the boy from district one knocking him to the floor and pulling the axe back ready to strike. "Sprite!" The girl from 2 screamed running over to him. But the axe had already been sent through his skull. It was me this time who could smile. Not cashmere. Not Gloss. Me.
Just as Tom began to run for the girl from district 2 the most horrific outcome possible happened. A wave of water hit the arena knocking them all off their feet and fly along with the wave. Tom couldn't swim. That I was certain of. So this meant one thing and one thing only. Snow knew Tom could win this and this was the only way to possibly kill him off. "Tom!" Phoebe screamed. She began swimming towards him. She could swim but not good enough to fight the current. "Phoebe just climb!" He screamed at her as she found herself near a tree. "No I'm not letting you die like this!" She screamed back still trying to splash her way over to him as he fought to keep his head above the water. "Phoebe climb!" He choked on the water. Her face was torn. "I can't leave you." She cried. But Tom was shaking his head.
"Please. I want you to win." He choked now swallowing mouthfuls. I began to panic that he really was going to die but there was nothing I could send him that would be any use. She knew it was out of her control, saving him, so she began to climb. "I'll never forget you." She cried as his head fell beneath the water and did not come up. He was gone. Dead and now she was alone. I felt an emotion that I'd never felt before. Complete numbness. I couldn't even react to anything that had just happened. But then I realised. Both my tributes were dead. One was dead out of stupidity and the other was dead because of me. Phoebe managed to make it to the top of the tree where she cried. She cried heavier than I've ever seen anyone cry before. Nobody cries over allies deaths in the arena but she was. I knew why too, it was because he wasn't an ally to her, he was a friend.