'Beast Boy has breakfast ready' Robin had said. 'It's tofu glork. I kinda think Starfire said she was looking forward to trying some. Could you go wake her up please, Raven? Thanks a lot.'
I groan.
I mutter.
I march through the hallway up to Starfire's door.
"The next time they hold the tea for ransom….," I murmur as I come to a stop. "Their large intestines shall telekinetically learn new dimensions of 'expansion'…."
Knock Knock Knock.
"Starfire…," I drone.
Silence.
Knock Knock Knock.
"Starfire?"
I run a hand over my face. Sighing.
Center yourself.
Center yourself……
"Starfire, Beast Boy is serving…..tofu glork….," I whine at the door. "Robin said you'd be interested so………..are you interested?"
I roll my eyes.
I sigh.
I swivel around and walk down the hallway.
"She can sleep all day for what I care. Besides…the less of Beast Boy's tofu she eats, the more years she is likely to live…OOF!"
TH-THWUMP!
I trip over something.
Wincing, I push myself up and glance down at my feet. My eyes flicker a glowing black energy….
"And just what are YOU doing here?"
"Rawawawawawaaar!" Silkie ecstatically replies.
I pick the oversized maggot up and hold it at arm's length, grimacing. "Aren't you supposed to….b-be in Starfire's room?"
"Rawwwar?" and Silkie promptly sucks on two of my fingers.
"Nnngh…," I sigh and trod back to the Tamaranian's bedroom. "I know exactly where this is going……"
FL-FLASH! Schwissh!
I force the door open with telekinesis.
I wander into the pink room of Starfire, dimly illuminated by a nightlight in the corner. Always a nighlight. I nervously look around for Silkie's respective cocoon. Or dome. Or….
Just what does he sleep in anyways?
"Nrghhh…." I glance over.
Starfire sleeps placidly on her circular, violet bed. Her head hangs over the side…hair dangling.
"Starfire…," I whisper and walk over. "I need you to get up…."
"Mmmmm…..," the Tamaranian stirs.
I hold Silkie out in her direction. "Breakfast time and….just where in Azar's name does this thing go?"
"Mmmm….Raven?" the girl sleepily mutters.
"Yes, Star. I…."
SWOOOSH-THWUMP!
"Aaah!" I jolt. Encompassed in Starfire's arms.
"Heeeeeeeee!" the alien girl nuzzles me in her sleep. "Pretty doll Raven!"
"Star, wake up!"
WHUMP!
Death by cuddling.
"Shall we engage in the braiding of the hair today? I hear the mall of shopping is….nnngh…..," Starfire stirs.
I grit my teeth and struggle to get loose from her iron like grip. "Star….let go! Better yet, wake up and then let go! DAAH!"
THRUMP!
She spoons me in the bed. Cheek rubbing against my neck. "Mmmm….yes, I so happen to be well employed in the aroma of the finger massage. Shall we travail upon eating chocolates while looking at magazines and discussing the somatic complexion of popular teenage boys?"
"Star! Get off, you extraterrestrial somnambulist! I was just…."
"Rawawawawaar!"
"Silke! No! Get off that robe! Azarathian Robes are not for eating….STARFIRE!"
"Hehehehehe….."
……
……
……
Fifteen minutes later.
Schwisssh!
Cyborg, Robin, and Beast Boy look up from the breakfast table.
"…….," emerge into the room. Fuming. A slobbering Silkie chewing on my hair. A dazed and grinning Starfire clinging onto my waist in her sleep. A pink bedsheet somehow stuck between us and draping back into the elevator like the quilt from Like Water for Chocolate.
"………………….," the boys stare.
I take a deep, seething breath. I growl: "The first one of you three to come here and help pry me loose from these biological nutcases will suffer the least painful death…."
"R-Right…," Cyborg jumps up and rushes towards me. Robin a close second.
But Beast Boy sits back in his booth, giggling over his breakfast. "Wow! Starfire and Raven bring a worm to bed! How kinky!"
I flick my wrist at his tofu.
SPLORCH!
He quivers, soiled all over. "Awwwwww-MUFASA!"