I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

EPOV

Chapter 32

"Wet" Dream

The dramatics of the evening had seemed to pass, Bella was showering and it was almost eleven. I was exhausted, as much as I would have liked to stay up longer, my body had other plans. I couldn't even wait out her shower to say goodnight to her, the second I hit the bed, I was heavy lidded and didn't have the strength to form a sentence.

I saw myself, I felt a woman's hands on me, they weren't Bella's, gripping my shoulders tightly behind me, massaging them, moving over my biceps and down my forearms. They were cool and strong, but feminine; it felt exquisite, but not familiar. They moved back up my arms, over my chest, sinuously down my stomach over my thighs and back up again. I could smell someone; I felt a body behind me, kneeling perhaps. A tongue flicked against my ear lobe, lips on my neck, moisture, someone was licking me? I groaned at the feel of it and let my head fall back and my eyes shut. The feel of someone's mouth on me intensified as they moved over the length of my neck down to my clavicle and up the front of my throat, I breathed heavily, their pheromone laced scent intoxicating me into a lull that allowed whoever it was to explore me more.

The hands were back, groping seductively over my stomach, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. My chest rose and fell in rapid succession; I had been leaning back on the heels of my hands the entire time, but couldn't hold back any longer. I reached back and pulled her face into mine, she kissed me with such ferocity that I almost couldn't breathe…almost. My hands knotted in her hair and she growled. She swiveled her body and was in my lap, her hips digging into mine, she grabbed fistfuls of my hair as she kissed me, like Bella did. Bella, this wasn't Bella, I knew it wasn't and I couldn't stop myself. My senses were in overdrive and for this moment I didn't care that it wasn't her. I pretended it was. I grabbed at her waist and pulled her hard against me. The mysterious visitor cried out and buried her face in my neck, biting me lightly. I groaned as she started pulling my shirt off and lapped at my chest, like an animal in heat. She forcefully pushed me back and crawled over me, grinding her hips into mine to the point where it almost hurt, I gripped the back of her thighs and she dropped her face against my stomach and started moving closer to my waist. She was like a stone, barely movable, I started peeling her top off and then with some unknown strength flipped her over and mounted her. She moaned in surprise and called out my name, driving me crazy. I roughly pinned her arms back against the mattress and kissed her throat, moving further down and running my tongue over her exposed breasts. She called out my name again and I responded by growling out a name of my own; Tanya.

I shot up instantly, and gasped, looking around me in search of the witch. I saw nothing of the sort. I saw my bedroom, darkened and silent. I heard light breathing and looked to my right. Bella was sleeping soundly, looking as angelic and beautiful as a Botticelli. I put my hand over my chest and felt my heart thudding under my sopping wet t-shirt. I took deep breaths, too numerous to count and glanced at Bella again. She was still asleep; she hadn't heard anything, that is if I even said anything, and clearly she hadn't seen anything, it was just a dream; an erotic dream that hadn't involved her. I felt like the hugest asshole on the planet, and then a new feeling of horror cascaded over me.

"Oh God no, please no…" I whispered to myself, frantically patting the sheets around me with my hands in search of the slightest bit of evidence. Everything was dry as a bone. Relief now swept over me as I let my body fall back against the pillows. The light thud I made caused Bella to stir slightly and I knew I had to get up for a minute to pull myself together. I was too wound up to sleep right now, clearly.

I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen to get a drink. I clicked on the light carelessly and was greeted by Tanya, perched on the island smirking at me.

"Gah!" I cried out in surprise.

"Hello." She said smugly with a little wave.

I ran my fingers through my damp disheveled hair and shut my eyes in frustration, "what are you doing here?" I asked slowly, trying to maintain my indoor voice.

"Just wanted to stop by, I haven't seen you since you left for Forks in December." She hopped off the counter and strode toward me. "I wanted to see the finished product of your…experiment." She narrowed her amber eyes at me in inspection.

"Voila." I said sarcastically, opening my arms to the sides.

She touched the side of my face and my body tensed as I remembered the dream. "Kate was right, you are warm. That feels amazing to me. Can I feel your heartbeat?" at least she asked, I thought to myself.

"Maybe some other time," I said pulling away from her and walking to the refrigerator.

"You smell odd." She said matter of factly, turning and watching me.

"I'm having a rough night, from what I'm told I smell a lot better when I'm not drenched in perspiration." I snapped, pouring a glass of cranberry juice.

"What's the matter, Edward?" She asked sounding genuinely concerned. I immediately felt guilty about being short with her.

"Nothing," I said sitting down at the island, "it doesn't matter, I'm sorry."

She sat across from me and reached for my hand and held it in her icy iron grip, staring at me congenially. "Did you have a nightmare?" She asked, "Is that why you're up?"

"You could say that." I responded taking a sip of my juice.

She dropped my hand suddenly and glared at me angrily, "Edward Cullen, you chaste, monogamous asshole, you consider an encounter with me to be a nightmare?!"

I choked on my juice and began coughing violently. I looked over at her and she raised an eyebrow at me and smiled darkly. "At least I have the decency to say that it was good for me."

I had forgotten, one of Tanya's many dark talents was that she could control other people's dreams. I was furious, I felt violated and intruded upon, "what the fuck do you think you're doing?" I seethed through my gritted teeth rising from my seat.

Her smile grew darker "Relax Edward, I was just having a little fun." She patronized, touching my hair.

I slapped her hand away, nearly breaking my own against her granite structure. "My mind is not a playground for your perversions." I snarled, my eyes burning into hers.

"Oh come on, no harm was done. I'm just trying to get you loosen up a little." She seemed unaffected by the fact that I wanted to strangle her. She truly was more upset by the fact that our little rendezvous together had upset me more than it had aroused me, at least in real life.

"Fantasy is part of being human Edward, you're going to have to get used to it." She said nonchalantly.

"You are not my fantasy Tanya! She is." I said pointing upstairs.

"Speaking of which, you're going to wake her up if you can't control your temper."

She was right; my voice had been steadily rising since this conversation began. I sat back down and scowled at her. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" I muttered miserably.

Hurt spread across her face, real hurt, and again, I felt guilty. "You really do hate me don't you?"

"No, Tanya, I don't hate you. Nothing could be further from the truth, I'm sorry I don't meet up to your expectations as a…" I hesitated, I had never spoken this directly to her before, "as a spouse, but you can't keep going about like there's some kind of sexual tension between us that needs to be released, because, there isn't. There never was, and there certainly never will be. You're part of my family, and that is how I see you and that is how I love you, and not in any other way."

"I know all that Edward. I just like giving you a hard time because you're such a different person from me. I want to be you more than I want to be with you at this point."

"We'd be toxic to one another if we ever got together." I assured her.

"I know we would. That's why this is fun for me, you're so straight and narrow and I'm so crooked and loose."

"You certainly have the loose part right." I joked halfheartedly.

She chuckled softly, "I'm truly sorry about tonight. I didn't think it would upset you."

"I'm slowly coming to realize that most things tend to upset me." I explained.

"You're probably right about that. Listen Edward, let me tell you something, I know that you don't think much of some of the things I've done, but, I believe I can offer you some advice." She said in a very serious tone.

"Go on then." I encouraged tiredly.

"The way I have chosen to live my life is very gratifying. I don't go from day to day regretting much. I don't always do the right thing, I don't always put others before me, but I feel as if I am a decent person. You seem to, not necessarily always do the right thing, but I think you deprive yourself of what you really want. You're very restricted and I think that will catch up to you someday." I opened my mouth to object, but no words came. She patted my arm gently and continued, "You need to give yourself a little gratification every now and then and let go of some of that control that you endlessly cling to. Especially now, that your years are numbered, you don't want to leave this earth, feeling…unsatisfied with choices you've made. Safety and control are not the greatest pleasures that life has to offer." She raised an eyebrow and smiled mischievously at me.

Every word Tanya had said was true, at least nowadays it was. It was true, I had gone through a rebellious stage early on in my immortality, where I had succumb to my urges and emotions, mostly having to do with the consumption of human blood, but that was a fleeting stage in my life. It had been over long ago. There was also a time when I would join Emmett and Jasper eagerly if there was even a hint of combat in the air, now, more recently, I would think twice about that. I was becoming more and more like Carlisle every day, responsible, weighing the consequences in my mind now that I had someone else in my life that I was living for; Bella. Everything I did mattered more now because it had a direct effect on her. Although she was rational and intelligent and mature, she was forever ruled by her emotions and her hormones, therefore, I had to be the logical one, the safe one. I, the most dangerous creature to ever walk among humans was supposed to protect her, to protect us. It was a role I had assigned myself and hadn't regretted since.

"But at what cost Edward?" Tanya asked out loud, listening to my thoughts.

"There's no cost." I answered firmly.

"I understand why you've done the things you have in your past, but now, all of that has dissolved. You're just a regular, human man. You are now as dangerous to her as any other male on this planet would be. It's alright to have a little fun, you deserve it and so does she. And just so you know, this isn't a conversation about your physical relationship," she said picking the thoughts right out of my mind and bringing them to light. "This is my wish for you to live a happy, slightly reckless life, while you're able to. While you're young and rich and have little to no responsibilities. I just like to use the physical aspect of it as an example." She added.

As much as I hated to admit it, everything she was saying was completely true, and I believed her when she said it. I did love her, very much, even though she maddened me to no end. She was half the reason my family and I separated from the Denali clan in the first place. I felt her eyes on me, examining my face, I got a brief glimpse into her thoughts, and they were sad.

"What is it Tanya?" I asked wearily.

"What's it like? Being human again? I can't remember what it was like the first time around."

"It's…difficult at times, but I have no regrets. I'm grateful I've been given a second chance."

"That's a very typical answer coming from you, truthful, but neither good nor bad. You should have been a politician." She teased.

I chuckled at her comment, "Alright, what do you want to know? I love to eat, I love to sleep, coffee is a godsend, and I got winded on a treadmill the other day. On New Year's Eve I got drunk and the next day was hung over. I spend hours doing homework because I can't read as quickly as I used to and I take every opportunity possible to touch Bella's skin. I dress like a slob more often than a gentleman because I can't drag myself out of bed in the morning, I'm freezing on most days and I hate shaving." Tanya's eyes lit up in amusement as she listened intently to my rant, I felt a wide smile forming on my face as I listed more things off on my hand, "muscle aches, sweating," I held up my hand that had the stitches in it, "I sliced my hand open the other day, I have to wear my seatbelt, and I spend half of my time in class picturing Bella naked. There, how's that?"

Sweet, musical laughter echoed from Tanya, she crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head, "It doesn't sound that fantastic to me anymore. It sounds like you're a weak, sweaty klutz with no athletic ability"

"That's about right. Still attracted to me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, not really." She giggled.

"Good."

There was quiet between us for a few moments, Tanya looked pensive then she asked, "Would you do it over again?"

"Over and over," I answered.

"Good, that's all that matters, your happiness." She stood up and said, "I should leave you now, it's probably past your bedtime." She mocked with a smirk.

"Thanks for the romp, but please don't ever do that to me again." I said, standing.

"Fine," she said with an irritated sigh, "but I know you enjoyed yourself."

"That's irrelevant." I replied, carefully hiding the fact from her in my mind that I had.

She smiled playfully and taking my chin lightly, kissed my cheek. "Come by to see everyone soon, you and Bella, she owes me a billiards rematch."

"We'll do that."

"Goodbye Edward." And suddenly, she was gone, as if I had been in the kitchen by myself the entire time.