I do not own Twilight or any of its' characters

Okay so I wrote and rewrote this chapter at least four times, so please be gentle and read and review. I really hope everyone enjoys it. It's one of my favorites. Thanks again!

EPOV

Chapter 38

The Vampire Returns

I felt terrible about how I had been behaving since the night of the party but I felt as if I needed to explain myself to Bella without the distraction of Alice, Jasper and Angela.

When I got home she was upstairs folding laundry and listening to music. I had wished that it dawned on me to stop at the florist and get her some flowers. I knew she was a little upset now that everyone had left and I hadn't been very helpful to her in the last two days. I took the stairs two at a time because I wanted to be alone with her so badly, making it to the bedroom in seconds. I didn't want to intrude on her, even though the door was open, I knocked lightly and peeked my head around the corner.

"Hey." She said softly, flashing her most beautiful smile at me.

"Hey." I said uncomfortably. I felt like I was speaking to her for the first time again, I probably would end up asking her something about the weather in a minute if I kept this pace up.

"What?" She asked with a small laugh as I stared at her stupidly.

"Umm, I'm sorry that I've been acting so odd the past few days."

"Edward, you already apologized to me. Its fine really, I understand." She said carelessly going back to the towels she was folding.

I laid a hand on her forearm, mid fold; she stopped what she was doing and looked up at me. "No, I don't think you do Bella." I said quietly. "Please listen to me."

Her doe like eyes bore a hole through me, I felt like she was putting me into a trance. "Okay." She said agreeably, putting down the laundry. That was easier than I had anticipated. We sat down on the edge of the bed together; she slipped her small hand into mine and waited for me to begin.

"Bella, what happened the other night, at the party," I nervously touched the back of my neck and ran my fingers through my hair, "was very…" I was an idiot; a rambling, incoherent idiot, I couldn't form a sentence. It was so difficult to put into words the emotions I had been feeling since the incident. The feeling was very black and white, why couldn't the words be so as well? "I almost killed him. I haven't felt that way in years."

"Edward, what did you see?" She asked, very concerned.

"I saw horrible things; you have no idea what he's done in the past. The moment he saw Angela, it was like a montage of every girl he had before. It was so much, information, so many crude, vile things and for what? For sport. That's all it is to him, a game, its fun. He's raped hundreds of women Bella, hundreds. They were very similar to one another, all very similar to Angela, and to you." I paused and swallowed hard. "He's never been caught, a few of the girls he's attacked, they were never found. He murdered them. He's a killer, a serial rapist and a killer. Jail time is a blessing for him."

"Edward, I'm sorry, I had no idea." Bella's face was torn and sympathetic, her eyes wide and sad.

"He was going to kill Angela." I said almost inaudibly.

She held a hand over her mouth, nearly gasping, but no sound came.

"He wanted her and things would have gotten much worse if we hadn't come. It was going to be slow and horrible."

Bella touched her face and combed her fingers through her mahogany hair nervously; she shook her head from side to side like she sometimes did when she was upset.

"Do you see why I've been acting this way now?" I asked trying to will her to look at me with my mind.

She looked back at me and nodded her head slowly.

"This is what I had to hear all night." I explained, "And the more time he spent with her, the more graphic his thoughts became. It's a miracle that I didn't go after him sooner."

"You really would have killed him wouldn't you?" She asked in disbelief. She didn't think that I could do it. That everything I had told her about my past and who I really am was an exaggeration.

"I think so." I said shamefully, I could barely look at her, I felt like I was going to be sick.

I stood up and walked to the other side of the room, suddenly feeling the need to pace. "I thought I could control this side of me. It turns out that I was in better control of myself when I was a vampire. Imagine that." I said raising my voice slightly in frustration.

"Edward, please don't do this to yourself." She pleaded with me. I knew that all of my angst and inner turmoil upset her so much; she thought I was as good as gold. She believed in me, she always did and I knew that she always would. I would drive her to madness by the end of our lives for sure. She stood and came over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders to quiet my pacing. "You acted defensively to protect one of our friends." She reassured, "You took it a little far, definitely, but he deserved much worse from what you tell me. In the end, the proper, responsible thing was done, that's what makes you who you are. You always do the right thing Edward. You push the envelope sometimes, but in the end you do right by yourself and by me and by your family. That's all that matters." She kissed my cheek gently, reminding me so much of Esme, with her reassurance and kind words. "And besides, I wanted to kill him too." She added darkly, "If I was stronger, I'd probably be in the same predicament that you're in right now."

It was starting to become clearer to me that the quiet, shy Bella Swan that most people were accustomed to was a force to be reckoned with. I cracked a weak, half smile at the thought of her going after Bodie. I still had a bruise where she had elbowed me when I had pulled her off of him in the basement.

"I think you take yourself too seriously." She said confidently, interrupting my thought. "Everyone loses control sometimes; you're no different, pompous ass." She teased.

I loved that her pet name for me when she wanted to make me laugh was 'pompous ass', she only pulled that gem of hers out on occasion.

"Thank you for your support." I said sarcastically, I wasn't biting.

Her body language changed completely, she planted a hand on her hip and sighed blowing a piece of hair out of her face. "Edward, sometimes I wonder if you go through life wanting to be miserable."

"Why would I do that?" I asked, sounding a little more irritated than I meant to.

"I'm not sure, why don't you tell me?" She asked, getting closer to me. I didn't know what to say, I was at a loss for words. I didn't think I wanted to be miserable all the time. Did I really come off as some kind of martyr?

"Alright," she said at my lack of response, "the whole time we've been together, beginning to end, you've proclaimed to be some kind of monster, predator, threat, to me and all of humanity. So let's see it Edward, just do it, try and do something to scare me. Go ahead, I can wait."

This was not the direction I wanted this day to go in, especially since I really hadn't been alone with Bella for a week or so. I wanted this to go so much better than it was. "Bella, this is absurd." I started.

"No, I'm serious, I want you to try and scare me. Prove me wrong."

"You know I would never do anything to intentionally upset you." I said very seriously, what was with her tonight?

"A real monster wouldn't care about me or my feelings," she said defiantly, stepping toward me boldly. Truth be told, she was actually starting to scare me. "Look, I'll make it even easier for you," she stood with her back to the wall and stared up at me, the scent coming off her recently shampooed hair was driving me to distraction. "Now I'm cornered. Try and hurt me," she demanded.

The dark pools of her warm brown eyes were burning me as she held my gaze. It seemed like it had been so long since I'd held her or said anything meaningful to her, being so caught up in myself as I had been. I reached a hand up to her and touched her warm cheek, running my battered and cut up fingertips down the curve of her perfect jaw and down the front of her throat. I swallowed hard; something about this moment was making me very nervous for some reason.

She stared at me expectantly, her hands at her sides. I leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. Her smell was driving me crazy; her scent hadn't seemed this intense to me since before I was human. She had done nothing to amplify it that I could tell, it was just everything about her that had my senses piqued. I kissed her more deeply; she wrapped her arms around my neck in response. I pulled back and studied her, all of the defiance had drained from her face and her expression had softened. Her mouth was open slightly and she nervously ran her fingers through her long hair and stared back at me.

I reached around and gently pulled her hair to the side, exposing her throat; I ran the back of my hand down her jaw and her neck and unzipped her sweatshirt slowly. Everything was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Her breaths quickened the slightest bit as I fingered the waistband of her shorts and I smiled, "are you scared yet?" I murmured in her ear.

"No, try harder." She whispered back.

I leaned into her and kissed her mouth, slipping my tongue inside. She put her arms around me and I pulled back, just out of her reach. I pressed the side of my face against hers, "How about now?" I asked wetly.

"No."

Her grip tightened around me and I pulled her hands off of my neck and kissed one of her wrists, practically lapping it and ran my still swollen bottom lip down her arm. I saw her cheeks flush, as I took her tiny wrists in my one hand and pinned them over her head and against the wall behind her. Her eyes lit up with excitement, but her face remained stoic. I wrapped my free hand around her waist and pulled her toward me until her pelvis was pressed against mine. It was getting more difficult for me to remain calm; I could feel my pulse quickening and my breathing becoming more rapid. "And now?" I asked smirking at her.

She smirked back at me and with a sudden surge of energy got out of my grasp and pushed me off of her, she followed through and reached behind me and held my hands back. She stood on her toes and grabbed the back of my head and pulled me toward her. Her fingers raked against my scalp and she swirled her tongue in my mouth hungrily. My hands knotted in her hair and she groaned. She moved her mouth across my jaw and down my neck. I felt my head get heavy and drop back, her hands moved over my chest and started hitching my t-shirt up.

"Bella…" I panted, my head still back, my chest heaving now, "I…" I felt like I should stop or say something, but I didn't have the strength to deny myself or her any longer. She kissed me hard on the mouth and sucked on my neck, stopping only to pull my shirt off.

My hands were everywhere on her, I didn't even know what I was doing anymore; I unzipped her sweatshirt and roughly peeled it off of her. The strap of her tank top slid off her shoulder and I helped it and the other strap along, pulling the garment down and over her waist. Her half naked body felt sensational as it crushed against mine. The harsh overhead light glared down on us, and I swiftly shut it off, replacing it with a much lower and dimmer bedside lamp. I would shut that off as well, if she asked me to. I didn't wait for her to ask me to; I shut that light off too, leaving us in complete darkness, how disappointing I thought to myself. Then, to my surprise she turned it back on, she wanted me to see her, or she wanted to see me, either way, I felt honored.

"Are you sure?" I asked gently. She smiled at me and nodded eagerly. How beautiful she was. I just wanted to see her face, I didn't need anything else. She kissed me again, interrupting my thoughts and brought me back to life pulling me toward our enormous bed that was starting to look a little intimidating to me. I planned to move very slowly, first and foremost, so as not to hurt her and secondly, because I really had no idea what I was doing.

I stood in front of her, she was kneeling on the bed, she pulled me against her, kissing my neck and shoulders. I felt her warm lips against my chest and then her tongue. I grabbed at her hair with one hand and slid the other down her back, over her buttocks and rubbed her thigh, slipping my hand up the leg of her shorts. Her skin was as soft as velvet and I wanted to be covered in it. I let my hand slowly wander further up her thigh, careful to be observant enough to stop if she protested in the slightest. When my hand couldn't go any further, she cried out, and I paused. She pushed up closer against me, giving me the clearance to continue. She breathed heavily in my ear as I touched her, and I thought I would collapse right there, and then a new sensation, her touching me. I swallowed hard and tried not to hyperventilate. I pushed her back onto the bed, a little more roughly than intended and buried my face against her stomach. Her fingers curled in my hair and then she started fumbling with my belt.

I slipped her shorts down just slightly, enough just so that I could see the blade of her hip and the lovely little curve of the bottom of her stomach. I ran my tongue along the edge of it and groaned. She had gotten past the belt and had moved onto the zipper of my pants. I slid her shorts and under things off and pressed my mouth against the inside of her thigh. She let me linger around there for a minute or two, letting me explore and then pulled me up on top of her and stared up at me.

She was perfect, every part of her, I placed my hand on the side of her flushed face and imprinted her expression in my mind. She covered my hand with hers and kissed my wrist sweetly.

"Are you absolutely sure?" I asked for the last time. As if I would be able to stop myself now. I had dreamt about her like this for as long as I could remember. The moment when she was mine and I was hers in every sense of the word. I'd waited days, weeks, months, years, to be with her, fighting her and myself the whole time. It would destroy me now if she said no.

She nodded, biting her lip nervously, "yes," she said.

Thank God. I thought to myself, and then the nervousness set in. What if I hurt her? What if something went wrong? The turmoil between head and body was unbearable.

"Promise me you'll say something if I do anything that hurts you." I urged.

She nodded, "just go slow."

All this talking was starting to affect the mood, but certain ground rules had to be set. She needed a choice; she needed to be treated with respect, like I had always promised her. I moved against her, careful not to put too much of my weight against her. She shut her eyes and sucked in a long breath as I moved completely inside of her. I knew I was hurting her, but she was too stubborn to object. Then I saw tears trickle out of her tightly shut eyes, and I nearly burst into tears myself. She needed to say something, or else I would.

"Bella," I said hoarsely, not daring to move.

Her eyes snapped open, the tears had stopped and a dark, fiery look stood in her eyes. She stared at me for a moment and then grabbed me roughly, pulling me down onto her. "Kiss me, now." She ordered breathlessly.

Something happened then, all romance, tenderness and concern had left me and what remained now was purely primal and reckless. I moved my mouth rapidly over hers and she pressed her hips against me and clawed at the small of my back. She ground her pelvis against mine in some kind of serpentine motion, somehow managing to push every button I had. I panted hard as she moved against me, gripping the sheets until my knuckles turned white. She arched her back and moaned, pushing her chest against me, I buried my face in her breasts and sucked her nipples, moving my hips in rhythm with hers. Her back arched again and I caught her this time, supporting her with both of my arms holding her against me. Her skin was hot and wet with perspiration and burned against mine, my heart rattled against my chest as I sucked on the front of her throat.

A new scent that I had never smelled before hung heavy in the air around us. It was thick and sweet, I could almost taste it. I wanted more of it, I wanted to roll around in it and smell it on my clothes and in her hair. I breathed the scent in deeply and groaned. I could smell it all around me; I could even smell it on Bella's hands as she touched my face. This wouldn't last much longer, it couldn't, I could barely control myself, now that the smell of sex had set in. I had to try to hold out for her though.

She ran her fingers across my lips and I greedily sucked on them, my chest heaving against hers. I was losing ground fast, I needed to slow down, but I didn't want to. I was so turned on and over stimulated, I could probably have done this in front of an audience of thousands with a spotlight shining on us without even caring. She took one of my arms in both of her hands and put it behind her neck, figuring she was getting sentimental, I gently stroked the side of her face in response. She turned her head and lapped and sucked at the bend in my arm right where my vein was and that was the key to my undoing, the simplest thing, was about to make me explode.

"Oh god Bella," I panted, "don't stop, please don't stop…" I begged. I moved hard against her and she cried out.

I laid with nearly all my weight on her, burying my face in her shoulder, kissing her furiously. "Edward," she breathed, "Edward bite me. Please Edward, bite me…" her request took me by surprise, and was unsettling to say the least, but she could ask anything of me, anything, and I would give it to her. There were many things that I couldn't be for her, but one thing I could always be for her was attentive; an attentive spouse and an attentive lover. I pulled her roughly off the pillow and toward me, she dropped her head back in submission and I buried my face against her neck, against her throbbing jugular. For the briefest moment, I wanted to taste her blood, was it possible that I could actually smell it? I wanted to break her and let her fill my mouth; the thought of it sent me over the edge as I sunk my teeth against her and did as she asked. She moaned more loudly than she had before and nearly drew blood as she scraped her nails down my back. She cried out my name and moaned again. Simultaneously, a loud growl ripped from my chest as I felt a thousand electric shock waves of pleasure overtake my entire body. I felt every muscle in my body stiffen and then relax over and over again until I had no energy left. Bella collapsed back against the mattress and I held myself up over her, my arms shaking uncontrollably from fatigue. "Kiss me," I whispered hoarsely, she sat up and put a hand on my face and kissed me over and over again until the shaking stopped, and I could finally lie down beside her.