Chapter Fourteen Notes: Writing this chapter was ever so much fun. This is the last update before I spend the next week selfishly sipping mai tais on a beach. Still, how I will survive without the internet for seven days is beyond me…

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Giddy

Edward's eyes were as wide as saucers. Before I could process a single thought, he untangled his arms from my body, gently sat me down on dock, and stepped back.

"Are you suicidal?!" He seemed angry, though I had no clue why.

"No, Edward, I'm drunk." I made a fruitless attempt to stand, but gravity had other plans. The spinning returned in full force, and I resigned myself to my spot on the dock.

"Yes, that part is obvious. What's not so clear is why you felt the need to hover around a slippery dock in the dark with no apparent regard for your own safety." No question remained as to his state of mind; Edward was livid. "Nor do I understand why someone like you is excessively consuming alcohol in the first place."

I knew I should've been frightened by the sternness in his voice, but I was too wrapped up in what had just happened. Plus, he was now crouched down beside me, running his eyes over my body for some sign of injury or insanity. It was all very distracting.

Wallowing in a dizzy state of admiration, I whispered, "I think you just saved my life…" Thanks partly to the keg, I added in an airy, awed voice, "That was pretty cool."

He did his best to look disgusted with me, but something about his expression was off. "It was not cool." He let out an exasperated sigh and studied me as I grinned up at him like an idiot. "Good god, you are drunk."

I must have been, for my earlier anxiety had now faded into inexplicable giddiness. I'd nearly died, yet I'd been down that road so many times that it didn't really faze me, especially now in my sudden drunken euphoria. I just beamed at him.

"Thanks for that." I felt like I was glowing. "The life saving, I mean."

He rolled his eyes but gave the briefest glimmer of a smile in return. "Don't mention it. Just be careful with yourself."

"Yeah, yeah." I downplayed his concern because he didn't know me well enough to understand that caution was irrelevant; these sorts of mishaps dogged my every move. I didn't want to dwell on his heroics if it meant focusing on my own knack for mortal peril.

Changing the subject, I asked, "Where did you come from anyway? I thought I was alone out here."

Not meeting my gaze, he responded, "I was over by the trees, getting some air."

"Getting some air? You weren't even inside; I would've noticed you, trust me."

"I was around."

"No, you weren't. Besides, you're not exactly the type to run with the high school kegger crowd." My voice had a teasing quality to it. I hoped he didn't think I was flirting with him.

"I could say the same thing about you." He sized me up curiously.

"Yeah, well, I'm branching out, socializing with new people, trying new things. I'm having the time of my life." My attempt at nonchalance fell hopelessly flat.

"Sure you are." He cocked an eyebrow.

"What? I am." I was onto his little game. "Stop trying to trap me into saying something stupid."

"Then stop lying," he challenged.

This was getting old. "Fine, Edward. I'm here to prove a point to my boyfriend, who thinks I live safely and responsibly. But, ta da," I grandly gestured to myself and the dock beneath us, "I showed him. I got uncomfortable and sick of everyone inside and ran out here to play the part of the drunken loner and nearly killed myself yet again. Until you showed up. End of story." I took a deep breath, still slightly surprised that he always seemed to be hanging on my every word. "Your turn."

In one swift motion, he shifted from his upright position on the edge of the dock to leaning back on his elbows. "My turn to what, exactly?"

"Tell me something personal about you. I'm tired of always blabbing on and on while you sit there in silence and gather dirt on me."

In a small victory for me, Edward looked genuinely stumped. After a few moments, he beamed smugly. "I have a severe problem with allowing those around me to become dehydrated." He sat upright. "I'm going to get you a glass of water."

I glared unapologetically at him, refusing to break eye contact. "It figures."

I hated that it was so dark out; I was curious about something. Ignoring his earlier life-saving heroics and instead focusing on his refusal to take me seriously, I muttered, "They're probably pitch black today."

He froze, his attempt to rise to his feet forgotten. "What did you say?"

My inhibitions were gone along with my self respect, so I stared him down and replied, "Sometimes, you're sort of… nice to me. On those days, your eyes are light, a yellow-brownish color." As I spoke, he studied me with amazement. Maybe he was drunk, too. I continued, "But then, other times, you're an asshole, and then they're black. So, I'm thinking you're actually two people, Edward, the amber-eyed guy who's interesting to talk to, and Eduardo, the dark-eyed evil twin who ties the other one up in the basement." I couldn't contain my laughter; suddenly, I found myself hilarious even though I was still perturbed at Edward and his stupid, secretive behavior.

"You're drunk." For the first time since we'd met, he sounded like he doubted himself.

Edward shifted to stand, but he was uncharacteristically sluggish in his movement, as if stunned into slow motion.

I felt restless and smug. Referring to my theory and not his accusation, I smirked as I reeled in my newfound power to annoy him. "Let's find out, shall we?"

Without thinking, I leaned in close to his face so I could gage the hue of his irises. As soon as I did, my brain lost capacity for conscious thought. We were maybe four inches apart from each other, our faces unmoving, eyelids unblinking. Neither one of us took a single breath.

At first, he looked as if he wanted to pull away, but then the cloud of conflict lifted from his immaculate face and his expression became vulnerable and dazed. I desperately needed one of us to reach out so our skin could touch, but I was frozen into submission by the way his eyes bored into mine with such intensity that I could have sworn we were already making physical contact. For that stationary second in time, I forgot my own name and every other person I'd ever known. No one else could come between us; I existed for him and he for me. I was drunk not from the warm beer that mixed with the blood in my veins but, rather, from the unyielding magic of Edward Cullen's stare.

A voice from the back of my head told me none of it was real, that I needed to look away because the fire igniting between Edward and me was dangerously misleading. The beer and I told the voice to go to hell, but the moment was already lost. Edward blinked and recoiled away from me.

Without breathing, he jumped to his feet and jogged down the dock to the muddy safety of the Newtons' yard. "Water," he murmured. "You need water." He stopped short after a few paces and turned so his eyes again found me. "Don't move; I don't want to have to fish you out of that pond."

All I could do was nod as I combed through my mind for some semblance of reason. He disappeared into the house, and I tried to make sense of the electricity that still jolted every nerve in my body.

Clearly, my intoxication had rendered me brain damaged. It's the beer, Bella, the beer is making you loopy. Beer is not something you should ever, ever drink mass quantities of again.

I went through the mantra I was finding more and more necessary as time wore on. This feeling is irrelevant to Edward Cullen. I have a crush on him, that's a given, but it will not go anywhere. I love Jacob Black. He is real. Edward is… witchcraft. Underneath his dazzling exterior, he's got to be ordinary and unappealing. Anyone with that face isn't lucky enough to have a personality, too.

It made perfect sense. Edward was the type of guy all the girls wanted but that none of us could every really have any real hope of getting. He was just a fantasy; I was certain that if I got to know him, really know him, he'd prove to be Mike Newton in wolf's clothing. The idea appealed to me. As I spotted Edward through the living room window, weaving his way through the crowd with a cup that was likely filled with ice water, I vowed to befriend him for the sake of my own sanity.

He gracefully exited through the same patio door that had given me so much trouble, but just as he turned to avoid the small crowd that now spilled into the backyard, Edward encountered an obstacle. Lauren, clearly drunk out of her mind, reached out over the railing of the patio and laid a hand on his shoulder. He looked at it as if she was capable of transferring the Ebola virus through her fingertips. She glanced down at where I lounged on the dock and leaned in closer to him, spilling half the contents of her cup on herself in the process.

I couldn't make out her slurred words from yards away, but I didn't need close proximity to interpret Edward's response. He lifted her hand off of him with the very tips of his fingers, as if she were a piece of dirty laundry, and headed to the dock, not seeming to notice or care that in his wake, Lauren lost her balance and collided with a nearby lawn gnome.

The loudest howl erupted from my gut. My burst of laughter quickly evolved into hysterics. I barely noticed that half the partygoers on the patio were staring at me in confused amusement; the only face I saw was Edward's as he chuckled at my ecstatic madness.

"Something funny?"

The delight had yet to die from my face, and I didn't dare try to suppress it. "You have totally ruined that girl for life. I hope you know that."

"Gnomes aren't exactly deadly; she'll survive." He grinned unapologetically then handed me the glass of water. I refused to get distracted by how white his teeth were.

"No, stupid, that's not what I mean." Boys were so dense sometimes. "Lauren likes you and she's too self-involved to see that you are way out of her league." I doubled over in laughter again, not caring that alcohol was propelling my mouth into perilous waters.

When he didn't respond, I took a break from my hysteria to gauge his reaction. Another laugh escaped from my lips when I saw his face. I slapped my hand over my mouth.

After I partially regained my composure, I eked out, "Edward, are you embarrassed?"

His face wasn't red, but he looked a little uncomfortable as he stared at his feet.

He smiled ruefully and retorted, "If I wasn't worried that you were going to end up at the bottom of that pond before the night is over, I'd leave you here to fend for yourself against that girl." He shook his head at me in what I prayed was just feigned irritation. "You must know that she is green with envy when it comes to you."

I scoffed loudly. "Shut up. She's the queen bee around here. I'm just some annoyingly weird girl she has to deal with at school."

"Stop telling yourself that, Bella. You have no idea how other people see you." His eyes had a hint of intensity as he spoke; I had to cut off this chain of conversation before it got out of hand. If I was going to forge a friendship with Edward, I couldn't keep falling prey to his charms.

"Ugh. I don't care." I crawled to the yard and hesitantly stood. "I should be getting home; I have a curfew." It was the truth, even though it wasn't for another hour.

I fumbled my way up to the house, refusing to glance back at him. I knew that once I did, I'd return to the dock in an instant and tell him anything he wanted to hear. It was best that he thought I was momentarily bothered by him or just not interested in continuing our conversation. I needed boundaries.

Once inside, I combed through the crowd for Angela and finally spotted her on the couch, sitting so close to Ben that their shoulders brushed whenever one of them shifted their weight. I bit my lip. I couldn't interrupt their moment to selfishly beg for a ride home. I searched for pain in my ankle and found none. I was confident that my brace would help me survive the short walk home.

I exited the front door and barely reached the driveway when Mike shouted from the yard, "Bella! You leaving?" He could barely stand, and his words ran into each other. I didn't want to see what reduced inhibitions did to Mike's already freakishly persistent resolve.

"Uh, yeah. Time for me to hit the hay." My voice was still perky from my booze-induced giddiness. I crossed my fingers that this wouldn't encourage him further.

He scrunched up his face like a four-year-old trying to please his mother. "Oh! I know! I can walk with you. That way you'll be safe from attackers."

"Attackers?!" Another round of unstoppable laughter washed over me. "You do know we're in Forks, don't you? Are you worried about the Stanleys' shitzu?" I giggled as I continued down the driveway, unpleasantly aware that despite my mocking him, Mike trailed after me.

I resigned myself to ignoring my shadow, and soon, I heard his clumsy footsteps abruptly stop. I beamed to myself, but before I could pat myself on the back for my newly acquired Mike-repelling skills, I heard a voice behind me.

"Don't worry about her, you should stay at your party. I'll walk her home."

Edward was the lesser of two evils, I supposed. Shrugging, I motioned for him to follow and called over my shoulder, "Good night, Michael! Nice party!" My voice was unnecessarily loud, telling me my blood-alcohol level was likely through the roof.

Admitting to myself that I was still drunk caused me to grow increasingly nervous about running into Charlie once I made it home. Nevertheless, my worries didn't eclipse my notice of Edward walking a several yards behind me on the sidewalk. We didn't speak for two blocks, and the silence between us began to grate on my nerves. What if he thinks I'm interested in him? Maybe he's worried that our hanging out tonight gave me false hope. I paused as the realization hit me. My god, does Edward see me as his own personal Mike Newton?

Ignoring how my balance swayed, I stopped and turned to face him. "I feel weird with you stalking behind me like some creature of the night."

His only response was a pointed stare and a switch to a position parallel to me on the sidewalk, although he walked on the edge furthest away from where I staggered on the concrete.

Another block passed without a word. He is so self-involved. He probably thinks I'm swooning over him right now. My drunken frustration had reached its boiling point. Exhaling an incensed sigh, I muttered, "You know, you don't have to walk ten feet away from me. I'm not Lauren."

He looked at me in bewilderment.

I gave up on being subtle and barked, "For Pete's sake, Edward, I'm not going to fall in love with you just because you're civil to me every once in a blue moon. You can relax. This little act you've got going where you're physically repulsed by my presence is totally unnecessary."

Edward's jaw dropped as his eyes flashed with incredulity. "Unbelievable." His demeanor was cold, causing my alcohol-induced overconfidence to wane. I was almost relieved when he allowed frustration to seep into his voice as he said, "You are the most difficult, obstinate, confusing person I have ever known."

We both sulked toward my street in silence. When we were a block away, my guilty conscious reared its ugly head. Edward saved my life and kept me company on a night that would otherwise have ended with me crying myself to sleep, yet I berated him for simply trying not to lead me on. I'm sure he was used to girls falling all over him; how was he to know that I wasn't one of them, that all I wanted was friendship? He was being rational, and I was acting like a child, a common theme in my frequent irritations with Edward.

I stopped walking; he did as well, but neither of us looked at each other.

Finally, I gave in. "I'm behaving like a complete ass. I'm sorry. You saved me from another trip to the hospital, maybe even the morgue," I attempted to laugh at my little joke, but he just stared at me. Both of us were too aware that the morgue could have been a plausible reality.

"Anyway, thank you." I swallowed as my nerves created a fluttering sensation in my stomach. "I'd like it if we could maybe be friends. I, um, I think you're…" My cheeks reddened. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea, but I also needed to be honest. "I like talking to you. I spend most of my time in La Push," I knew he likely understood the implication, "but when I'm forced to stick around Forks, us talking makes things a little less boring, you know?"

His eyes moved to the ground. "I'm not really the kind of person you should be friends with, Bella." He spoke solemnly, and I wondered if I was imagining a trace of disappointment on his part in the interest of my own self-preservation.

"Oh." I nodded, wishing I could convince him that I was only after his friendship, nothing more.

He ran both hands through his hair and paced briefly in a circle, clearly conflicted about something. "But perhaps we could be… acquaintances." He smiled carefully at me. "After all, English would become awfully dull without you."

"Sounds good." I restrained my reaction to a subdued nod. I never intended that Edward and I would become weekend shopping buddies or that we'd sit around and braid each other's hair; the promise of more in-class banter was enough… Plus, we belonged to different classes; he was beautiful and had every advantage life had to offer, while I was plain and habitually invisible to everyone I met. I wasn't stupid; I knew my place. Further, setting certain limits to our interaction was also the necessary choice, at least where the well-being of my relationship with Jake was concerned.

We took a few more steps before he asked in a curious but wary voice, "So what color are they today?"

I knew exactly what he was referring to, but if I had any shot of repressing the memory of our moment on the dock, I had to feign ignorance. "What color are what?"

He pointed at his eyes, and I diverted mine. I certainly didn't need a reminder.

Biting my lip, I answered in a rush, "Somewhere in the middle. I think that maybe there are three of you instead of two."

He didn't smile but responded, "Three of us? The evil one must have his hands full, what with so many people to lock up in the basement…"

"Very funny." Fortunately, I was still too intoxicated to feel the embarrassment of my earlier remarks.

We walked around the corner wordlessly with Edward still keeping his self-imposed four-foot distance on the sidewalk.

A bit of my drunken giddiness remained lodged in my chest waiting like a poltergeist to wreak havoc, but when my gaze fell upon Charlie's front porch, the poltergeist was officially exorcized.

On the steps, Jacob sat with his head in his hands. He looked up when he heard us approach. The miserable expression on his face mixed with uncertainty as his eyes flickered between Edward and the sheepish expression on my face.

Chapter End Notes: To everyone who is still reading this story, a million thank yous, and to my loyal reviewers, I seriously adore you. New chapter up as soon as I'm back in the States, I promise.