I shuffle through the dark halls of the Tower. I am still hot, and to a degree I am still sweaty.

I had been meditating calmly out in the open Sun of the Titan Island when Starfire and Terra ran out—bathing suit clad—to launch themselves splashingly into the warm waters of the Bay. During the two brief minutes it took for them to giggle and splash and tease for me to join them, I had already mentally placed their names in my will and prepared to retire up in the Tower.

Now I'm heading towards my room. Heading towards a shower. Heading towards a good submersion into the Chronicles of Rorek. And heading towards an eventual death…

But as I truck along, I pass by the open doorway to Cyborg's laboratory. There are excited voices inside, announcing to me the presence of the said robot and his changeling companion. A video game of some sort is at hand, as well as a verbal exchange that giddily proceeds momentarily as follows:

"……I'm telling you, little man, she's a total knockout! And try not to say that she isn't!"

"I know….I know…."

"I mean, on top of that…we all know her personally and get to see how sweet and smart and friendly she is. And since when do you get all of that combined with beauty?"

"Hehehehe…..I know what you mean. Robin's lucky."

"……Robin?"

"Er…..m-must be my imagination, I guess….."

"…….," I come to a stop. I linger at the door. Why? I am not entirely sure. Admittedly, a morbid curiosity takes hold of me and forces me to lend an ear….

"If we weren't already friends……and if she weren't still getting used to this planet…..hell, I might even have tried to ask her out and stuff! I mean…damn!"

"Come to think of it, has she EVER worn anything but a two-piece?"

"Heheheheh. No. I'm telling you, man. Just too perfect!"

"Yeah, well, perfection is in the eye of the beholder."

"What's that, B.B.?"

"I-I mean to say…"

"I know. Terra's pretty cute too."

"Pretty cute? Pfft! You're so shallow, Cy….."

"Hahahaha…or maybe you're just…."

"She's an absolute angel! Dude…have you even touched her hair?"

"Uhhh…….B.B.?"

"Er…..n-n-not to say that we've ever done anything nasty….."

"Riiiight…."

"But seriously. Her hair's like….pure….g-golden…..silk. Egads…she's so prettiful."

"Watch it, B.B. Not good to daydream when driving a Warthog."

"I can manage."

"Did you see the two of them just now?"

"Huh?"

"They just passed by a few minutes ago, remember? Down to the beach outside the Tower they went…."

"……," I raise two hands.

I gently grasp the edges of my hood and lower it.

Exposing my blue head of hair.

Still a little sweat-mopped from the exterior meditation.

I lean my head to the side.

Slightly craned to the laboratory.

I blink my violet eyes.

Listening…..

"What about them?"


"They were wearin' bathing suits. Erm….NICE ones. Egads, if only I had my snapshot program working in my neural matrix today."

"Eh….I didn't notice."

"Liar!"

"What! I'm serious! So what if they were goin' down for a little fun in the sun? Girls are entitled to that! Even…erm….s-sexy girls…."

"Bikinis, Beast Boy. BIKINIS."

"Dude! Bite your tongue! Terra was wearing a one-piece!"

"Hahahahahahaha!"

"…..oops."

:"So you DID look!"

"Er…..I-I…."

"Heheheheheheh…."

"I-I guess I….erhm….p-peaked a little…."

"You're a regular pervert, Beast Boy."

"Am not!"

"I'm tellin' on your girlfriend!"

"Dude! Just….l-leave me alone! Look! You're already making me miss some Covenant!"

"Hahahahaha…."

"Damn Elite's gonna fry your ass, I swear to God…ya refrigerator…."

"Raven's out there. I wonder if she'll join them."

"Raven? Nah."

"Why not?"

"Not her thing."

"Well, I suppose you're right. She'd rather be meditating or drinking tea or reading or…"

"No…I mean…..heh….it's not HER THING, Cyborg."

"……..huh?"


"Raven just….just…….."

"……..yeah?"

"She wouldn't do a bikini."

"So?"

"Or a bathing suit of any kind….."

"SO?"

"It just doesn't….work with her…."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say….say….yeesh………she's just….too dark."

"Too dark for what?"

"For anything, as far as I'm concerned."

"Ah, well to each his own."

"Why? What does your raging libido tell you, Cyborg?"

"Pfft. I don't have a libido, Beast Boy. I can just appreciate beauty."

"Ha! I find that hard to………..on second thought, I'm not even gonna touch that."

"Raven's sexy."

"Prove it."

"In her own unique way."

"I'm still waiting for you to…."

"B.B…..you ever noticed how….like….wh-when Raven is talking or she's reading a book or just being her normal self….."

"Her normal boring, cold, bitter self…."

"Shut up! I'm trying to make a point here!"

"Hehehe…."

"Anyways, you ever notice how……..how she has that strand?"

"…..strand?"

"The loose strand of hair. Ya know…on her right temple. It's always loose. Always stubborn. She's constantly having to flip it back with the rest of her hair towards her ear and stuff."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"I think it's absolutely adorable."

"Er…okay. You're nuts, Cyborg."

"Seriously! I'm not joking! I'll even say it right now…Raven and her little strand…"

"Hehehehe!"

"Shut up! Heheheh….Raven and her little strand is sexier than the other two girls we fight crime with combined!"

"Gee….how special."

"Cuz it just shows that….she can deny it all she wants….but deep down beneath that cold and gothic exterior, Raven's a real pretty girl and she can't fight it. Hehe….I think it's a rather happy thought."

"Yeah….too bad the rest of her head can't take a clue."

"Beast Boy!"

"I'm just saying! You'd think she'd at least try not to look like the bride of Frankenstein some mornings! I mean…she's more than able to! Just a matter of fashion, I guess…"

"And you say I'M shallow…."

"Jackals behind your back!"

"Got 'em, dawg…"

"…………….," I take a deep breath.

Before I know it, my right hand is up besides my face.

I freeze.

My violet eyes glance right. Through the peripheral of my vision.

My fingers are in the act of pushing a stubborn strand of blue hair out from my forehead.

I bite my lip.

I shudder.

I leave the hallway outside of the laboratory.

And I press on forward.

I do not know if I mean to take the detour that I do.

But, regardless, I walk through the gym.

And rather coincidentally, Robin is there. Slamming his fists into a punching bag and putting forth a real sweat. His costume is discarded, and right now he presently wears a white cotton gi indicative of martial arts schooling.

"Nnnngh!" WH-WHAP! "HIYAAA!" THWACK! "Rrrgh!" WHUMP!

I could easily walk around him, but instead I take the short route and walk in front of him for some reason.

And at sight of me, he stops and leans against the punching bag. Sweating.

"H-Hey….R-Raven…."

I simply nod my head. "Robin….."

"Heading to y-your room?"

I freeze in my steps.

I slowly gaze towards him. "How did you know?"

"J-Just a guess….," he pants. He brings a smooth forearm up and wipes the sweat off his brow before turning to march towards a nearby bench. "You seem to be spending time up there m-more and more these d-days…"

"Forgive me if I'm being a little too much myself," I drone. I don't mean to be that sarcastic. It just comes out.

"Nothing wrong with you being yourself, Raven…," Robin picks up a towel and dabs at his chest and neck. Still regaining his breath. "I just worry about you sometimes…"

"…….," my violet eyes narrow. "Worry…..about me, Robin?"

"We go through a lot, us Titans. And sometimes the stuff that we face out on the street isn't pretty. And our way of dealing with it may be to retire to our rooms and stay alone and try to chase the thoughts away by ourselves. And I just want you to know, Raven, that we're all here for you if you need to talk about or discuss anything. I'm here for you. Okay?"

His lean muscles are sheen with sweat. Smooth skin. A tight, damp body beneath the gi.

"Raven?"

His black hair slicks over from sweat. His face stone-firm yet soft in inquiry. Gentle lips moving….

"Raven? Are you okay?"

"……..," I blink. "Erm….y-yes, Robin. I…."

I turn sideways from him some. My right profile exposed.

"….I'm just tired, that's all."

"I understand. You take it easy, okay?" he smiles.

I nod. A drone: "I'll do what I can…"

And I leave him, leaving the gym, leaving the noise as the Boy Wonder resumes his punishment on the training devices.

When I enter my room, I immediately strip of my robe, leotard, and underwear. I grab a towel and some shampoo and head for my washroom. As I start the shower….letting the water warm up….I can't help but stand still.

I turn. I face the mirror. Naked. Pale as ever. Like a ghost or a liquid smooth corpse risen from the grave. The chakra stone in my head stands out like a moon in the dark contours of the tile around me.

I turn sideways from the mirror some. Exposing my nude right profile. As if from a distance. What a distant stranger would see.

I raise a gentle hand to my forehead. The stubborn strand….

I slowly push it up to rejoin my bangs.

And I stare at myself, my hand frozen up there.

I sigh.

The water is warm.

I erase the mirror from my eyes, turn, and walk into the stall.

When I'm not meditating, taking showers is the best thing when all I want to do is cry.