I'm on vacation so… let's see where the story leads…

Gale –

I've kept my distance for months, watching her from afar. The last time we spoke was in the kitchen of her house, when I was too weak to move. I realize that she saved my life and I owe her; but I can't help what I'm feeling inside.

She walks through town every evening, picking up supplies and groceries for her family and making her rounds to families that are starving. I know for a fact that it's to Katniss I owe for my mother still having work and for my family still being fed. I can't go into the woods anymore and the Hob has been shut down. The fence has been electrified, cutting off my route to solace and my source of food for my family. I owe her everything. But I'm still angry.

I've been watching her change over the course of four months. The skin around her eyes has become darker. Her brown hair has begun to frizz without the hint of humidity in the air. And, worst of all, I have to think of Peacekeeper Thread's lashing every time my eyes dare to look below her collar bone because it isn't right that I still have these feelings for her. I shouldn't be excited by the change I see in her, but my hormones won't cooperate.

Then I see him and the anger starts all over again.

Peeta walks through town like nothing has changed. He goes to visit his family regularly in the evening for meals. Always by himself. Why doesn't he take her with him? I'd never be seen without her if she were mine. I'd be her shield at her side, protecting her from the leering eyes of the Peacekeepers who also seem to have noticed the change in Katniss. I seethe whenever they cat call or whistle at her, but she seems to not even notice their attentions. Or she pretends not to notice them. But she isn't mine to protect anymore and there are other things that I need to focus on.

My shifts in the mines have increased to twelve hours a day. Twelve hours spent in the deep dark of the mines, my hands are bleeding from working the pick-axe so much and with little or no breaks in our shift. I can't even wash the coal dust from my hands anymore. A thick layer of grime has attached itself to the underside of my nails like it's trying to turn me into rock as well.

I work my fingers to the bone while Peeta looks like a shiny new coin. His blond hair shines golden in the sunlight - sunlight which my eyes can barely take in anymore because they're so used to the dark recesses of the mines. It's like getting stabbed right in the brain whenever I'm in the sunlight too long now. But Katniss' Golden Boy will never know how that feels. He is sunlight and I am darkness. Is it any wonder she fell for him?

I've spent so much time brooding on the way things have turned out that it consumes me. I know it isn't what she'd want, but what am I supposed to do? Katniss is all I've ever known. All I've wanted.

She's strong. She's brave. And she twitches her nose like a rabbit when she gets riled up. Does he know that? He must. We've both loved the same woman for a long while now. She used to be mine. I had my chance before the Reaping took her. Why did I wait so long to tell her how I feel? Why didn't I volunteer to take Peeta's place? It should have been me protecting her!

Because I had to protect her family. If I'd even tried to go in with her, she'd never had forgiven me. No, I was screwed either way. I did the right thing and I still lost her. Fuck my life.

"Gale, you need to eat."

I wave away the bowl of stew my mother, Hazel, keeps trying to offer me. It's a watered down mixture of potato and rabbit - gifts from Katniss. I can't eat a bite of it. Not while the television is going on about her wedding dresses.

"I'm not hungry," I lie and will my stomach to stop rumbling. I'm not fooling my mother. She frowns at me in her concerned way, but she doesn't press. She just sits the bowl and a spoon down on the table in front of me, knowing I'll eat it when my stomach over-rules my stubbornness.

"And you can now vote for your final pick!" Caesar Flickerman is grinning so wildly that his teeth are sparkling for the cameras. The Capitol has never been so pleased. They've never had a public wedding before - and never thought to have one for Victors of the Hunger Games. It's all a big show for them.

"Won't they be surprised?" I grumble as the broadcast switches over to the President's mansion for another Announcement.

"By what, Gale?" My mother asks but I shake my head. "Nevermind." It's not for me to say and Katniss doesn't even know I know.

"… will be drawn from the pool of existing Victors…"

My attention snaps back to the broadcast. "What did he just say?"

My mother stands up and turns the volume up. But I heard the President correctly. This year, for the Quarter Quell, the tributes will be pulled from the existing pool of Victors. One man and one woman from each district.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I groan.

"Gale!"

I track him down three days before the Reaping is to take place. It's Sunday, my only day off, and I've been stalking the town all day looking for him. I'd have gone straight to his house in the Victor's Village, but I didn't want to run into Katniss. I'm resolute in what I've got to do.

"So," I step into Peeta's path as he's exiting the Bakery, his arms laden with sacks of sugar and a can of lard. He looks stunned to see me. Good. "What are you waiting for, exactly?"

"Pardon?" He blinks those pretty blue eyes at me, utterly oblivious to why I would be here now - talking to him of all people. He knows I loath him.

"The wedding?" I snap at him irritably and dawn flashes in his eyes. I watch his own anger rising to the surface.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I think we can say the wedding is off."

"The hell it is."

Peeta tries to side step me, but he's weighed down by his parcels and I walk right back into his path. He grits his teeth and flips back his head, tossing some of that golden hair out of his eyes.

"Move," he snaps at me. "I've got things to do."

It dawns on me then that maybe Peeta isn't as smart as I've given him credit for. Could it be that Peeta has no idea what's happened to Katniss? No. Every man in town has taken notice of some change in her. Peeta sees her practically every day. He can't be that oblivious. Still, he's playing pretty dumb if he does know.

I glance down the street, aware that people are staring at us. I edge closer and drop my voice to a whisper.

"Katniss is pregnant, you nit wit."

Peeta's eyes snap into a glare. He's angry with me. So - he does know. "Walk with me." He tosses the can of lard into my stomach and I have no choice but to follow him back to his house.

I've never been inside of Peeta's home. It's unnervingly clean for a bachelor. The only hint of a mess is in the kitchen where the counter is crowded with bowls covered in dishcloth and the island is caked in flour. There's a partial wedge of cheese lying on a grater atop a plate. It looks like it's been recently used. He's been busy.

Peeta drops the sack of sugar onto an empty bit of counter and motions for me to sit the can into the panty and ushers me to take a seat at his table. I'm surprised when Peeta pulls two glasses from his cupboard and pours each a quarter full with a clear liquid that smells suspiciously like rubbing alcohol. It's white liquor. Who knew he had it in him?

"I swiped a bottle while I was cleaning out Haymitch's house," he admits a bit sheepishly as he sits down across the table from me.

"To the happy family," I have to rub it in - just one more time while I can. I watch Peeta's face sag. I take a sip of the white liquor for good measure to my toast.

"I'm not an idiot," Peeta reproaches me. I want to argue, but I'm sure I'll get my chance. "But, she hasn't come to me herself."

"Typical Katniss," I snort and take another sip. "Do you honestly expect her to?"

"I hoped-"

"Then you don't know her half as well as I do," I snap. "She's going to sit in her house and pretend it hasn't happened because her whole focus will be on keeping you alive."

"I know that…"

"Then use your fucking head, Peeta!" I know I'm being gruff with him, but I have to be. She chose him and he doesn't know the first thing about how she operates. He's easy for her to evade because he lets her. I wouldn't let her… maybe that's why… no. I'm not going there.

Peeta winces and sinks back in his chair. "What would you do?"

"I'd be over there telling her that I'm aware of what I'd - we'd done. I'd take full responsibility. I'd be gathering her closest friends and family for their support and I'd marry her with them as my witnesses."

Peeta mulls my words over for a few silent minutes. He tosses back his glass and winces when he swallows. "Even if it's not what she wants?"

"Especially." I nod.

I see a flicker of understanding in his eyes and, I hate to admit it, I feel a comradery with him. We both love the same pig-headed woman. A woman who would run into Death's arms just to keep those she loves safe. No matter the cost or harm to herself.

"Will you make me a promise, Gale?"

My eye twitches. He's asking me for a promise? What could he possibly want from me?

"Gale," Peeta says my name with such pleading that I can't help but listen silently. "If Haymitch is chosen, I'm going to volunteer and I don't intend coming out of there. Whatever it costs."

"I know that-"

"And-" he cuts me off. "I need you to promise me that you will watch over them… when I'm gone."

I stare at him completely dumbfounded. Is he really asking this of me?

"Why me?"

Peeta smiles ruefully. "Because you're the only one that will love them as much as I do. Promise."

What can I possibly say? If I say no, I'm abandoning my best friend and forgoing a man's dying wishes. If I say yes, I'm committing my life to raising his child. The child that I wish were mine.

I've spent the last several months loathing the man in front of me. He has everything I've ever wanted. He's beaten the odds. He has my girl. He has the life that I will never have. But there's a good chance that it won't be a very long life. I see a glimmer of hope on the horizon as sick as it seems. I still have hope.

"I promise."