CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: Truth

Maybe it was because I was the kid of a cop, but I'd never been one for surprises, mostly because I could usually spot a twist in the road coming from a mile away. Without even trying, I always figured out the endings of movies and mystery novels long before the big reveal. The key was to look at the details, especially the ones that, upon first glance, only had a seemingly minor connection to the big picture. I took that approach and applied it to the enigma that was Edward Cullen.

After my release from the hospital on Saturday afternoon, I sprawled out on my bed and examined every snippet of information I had on him…

Edward was unfailingly perceptive, unnaturally strong, and far too mature for the average high school boy. His every physical attribute was beautiful, and he saw straight through me into the very core of everything I was and wanted to be. Depending on the day, his eye color varied from a tawny amber that told me he'd be unwaveringly kind to the blackness of a moonless midnight that was always accompanied by intense brooding and inexplicable standoffishness. He and his family shared no common DNA, but all were stunningly flawless with skin of same pale pallor. They hailed from Alaska and apparently shared a healthy bank account…In sum, I had plenty of details, but still nothing clicked.

Then, as I was flossing a kernel of corn out of my teeth before bed, a light bulb went off. I'd eaten the corn that evening, the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers, and it bitterly reminded me of my other tasting of leftovers two nights earlier at Jacob's house, when Billy had subjected me to his baseless warnings about Edward and his family. And therein was the answer: the Quileutes knew. The source of Edward's strength, the same strength that made him my guardian angel and their dangerous nightmare—whatever it was, the Quileutes knew.

Obviously, I couldn't expect an answer out of Billy; the man refused to say anything to me beyond cryptic warnings and veiled threats. Jake didn't know anything at all, of course, or else he would have spilled the secret to me immediately. But Sam Uley…Sam had warned Jake to keep me safe from the Cullens, which told me that he was likely privy to the secret.

Even before his bizarre disappearance months ago and subsequent six-inch growth spurt, Sam always intimidated me; I couldn't exactly run up to him and eke the gossip out of him like we were old friends. Still, I didn't care. I had to know, and he was my only hope. I fell asleep that night with Sam on my brain and plans to drive out to La Push on Monday night after school.

X X X

Come Monday, Edward was nowhere to be seen. By lunchtime, I hadn't had any contact with him at all, which was unusual, given how he and I had been seeing more and more of each other in the hallways before school and during breaks in classes. When noon finally rolled around, I sat nervously at our table, alone.

The minutes ticked by, and then, to my partial relief, Alice plopped down across from me. She spotted the pained look on my face and smiled tentatively, her eyes knowing, telling me I didn't need to pretend with her.

"He's not coming, is he?"

She averted her eyes. Her relentless bubbliness was nowhere to be seen. "Not today, Bella."

I swallowed and crinkled my forehead as my worry increased. "When, then? He can't hide from me forever."

Her lips twitched, but she didn't lift them into full-blown smile. "Technically, he can…but don't worry, he won't. You won't let him."

I rolled my eyes but smiled back at her, grateful she wasn't giving me the cold shoulder as well. "Meaning what exactly?"

Looping her finger around the delicate sliver chain she wore around her neck, she said, "Meaning you need to try harder, not just to find out his secret—our secret—"she eyed me cautiously—"but to be honest with him. About everything."

"Hmm?" I choked out as her candor sent my heart on a nosedive into my stomach.

She clasped her hands together on the tabletop and leaned forward, staring me square in the eye. "Don't make me say it."

I couldn't breathe. "Don't worry, Alice, I'm not falling for him. I'm not one of the legions of fangirls that fall at his feet. We're strictly in the friend zone, so relax." I sputtered out the excuses too fast; their choppy, monotone quality betrayed my darkest secret.

Alice sat upright and placed a slender finger to her lips. I couldn't move, but I still felt motion sickness. "Stop. Use your head. Please; you're smarter than this. You're not blind."

"I'm not delusional either." I ignored the gentle but dubious expression flickering across her face. "I have someone. He is everything to me. You can't possibly—"

"Bella, I really like you. So much, really." Light danced back into her eyes. "And maybe I have no right to say this, but I will anyway. We could play games forever and this would still go nowhere. So I'm shooting straight from now on. Edward is my brother. He never likes anyone. But he likes you. More than—"

She broke off as involuntary tears crept down my cheek. "Don't do that, Bella," she whispered soothingly.

I was exhausted with my never-ending game of pretend. No longer could I act like I didn't know what she was talking about; the truth was written all over my face. Stuttering, I wiped the back of my hand against my face and asked, "Does he—does he know?"

Alice leaned back against her chair, the confidence in her posture making her seem taller than she actually was. "My brother is an excellent liar, Bella. Especially when it comes to lying to himself."

"So he doesn't know?" My voice was desperate. "Alice, he can't know. I can't lose him. I can't hurt…people in my life who trust me."

She frowned before her face warped into uncertainty. "This isn't going to make any sense, but just bear with me. We are friends, you and me, right?" She smiled nervously as she appraised every movement of my face.

I nodded vigorously. Somehow, though we knew little of each other, we were. I trusted her even though I had no proof that I could.

She apparently believed me, so she continued, "I'm good at…predicting things. I know certain things before the happen, and I know how you feel about him." She allowed herself to relax slightly. "But, then again, I don't think one needs to be omniscient to see that."

My stomach lurched, and I moved my stare to the table so she couldn't fully see my terror. She knew. Somehow. Alice knew that I was no better than a lovesick schoolgirl on the brink of being crushed by unrequited love. She pitied me because my feelings for Edward were pathetically one-sided. Here she was, letting me down easy, but I was still humiliated.

Her hand reached across the table and carefully met mine. It was chilly like her brother's. "I've kept it from him, Bella, not an easy feat considering what he can—how he easily he reads people. I think even if I told him, he wouldn't believe me." She furrowed her brow and tilted her head in my direction. "But I kept your secret because it's not my place to step in, even though I want to, desperately." She sighed as evidence of her frustration. "I admit, I've hinted relentlessly and still he won't believe. And it frustrates me beyond belief because I never see you telling him."

"That's because I won't, Alice." I sounded colder than I'd intended. "It's a suicide mission."

She opened her mouth to say something but snapped it shut, her thoughts moving elsewhere. I stood abruptly, needing some air before I fell apart in the middle of the cafeteria.

Before making my escape, I continued, "But I will find out what he's hiding from me. I don't want to lose what he and I do have…our friendship." The more I said it, the more I hated the word, but, because it was all he would allow me, I couldn't describe what Edward and I had any other way.

"Bella?" Alice called to me carefully before I could leave with the last word.

"Yeah, Alice?"

"I really hope you do find out." Her eyes were huge, which told me there was so much more she wanted to say. "And you're right, by the way."

I squinted at her, perplexed. "About?"

She grinned, but her eyes were still forlorn. "Once you know, you won't care."

"And this is what your psychic premonitions are telling you?" I asked sarcastically, surprised that Edward had told her I'd said that and wondering if she bought into astrology and Ouija boards as well.

Her voice was even and doubtless as she responded, "No. I just know because you're you."

X X X

For such a small town, it was impossible to find what I was looking for in La Push. I'd gone to the address listed for the Uleys in the phonebook, but no one was home. I checked First Beach, despite the fact that rain was now coming down in buckets, and found it deserted. I drove by the high school even though Sam had graduated years ago, but I saw neither Sam nor his newfound cronies Jared and Paul. Eventually, I pulled into the parking lot of the small, rundown drug store and rested my forehead against the steering wheel in aggravation.

When I heard a tap against the windshield, I nearly jumped out of my skin. On the other side of the rain-streaked glass pane was Sam Uley's stoic, unwelcoming face.

Nervously, I jerked the window lever in circles until the glass disappeared down into the door and Sam and I were face to face.

He narrowed his eyes and spoke. "You're looking for me."

Warding off the intense feeling of intimidation coursing through me, I timidly answered, "Uh, yeah. I am."

"Why." He spoke monosyllabically without a trace of confusion.

To give me courage, I remembered the rage I felt over how he'd treated Jacob, how he'd abandoned Leah, and how he'd took it upon himself to badmouth the Cullens without having met them once. The temperature of my blood began to rise, and I did my best to control the speed of my words. "You have a problem with the Cullens. I want to know why."

His eyes turned malicious at the name. "You have no right to know. The only information you need is that if you value your life and the lives of your family and friends," he taunted me with the word, holding Jacob over my head, "then you should keep your distance."

"And if I don't?" I apprehensively goaded him, my voice trembling.

"You'll destroy yourself and anyone else unlucky enough to touch your life."

I wanted to be braver, to demand answers, but Sam appraised me with near disgust, as if I weren't worthy of his presence. "Please," I pleaded, "I need an answer."

He backed away from my truck, the pounding rain creating a barrier between us. "You're not one of us, and you associate with them," he said evenly but without any semblance of compassion. "It's not your place."

Before I could beg further, he vanished into the downpour. My entire body shook with panic. I was seated in the driver's seat, but I had absolutely nowhere to go.

I hated Sam…for no good reason, other than he hated Edward, whom I would give anything to call my own. How anyone could look at Edward, the boy who saved my life twice without expecting an ounce of gratitude, with such disdain was beyond me. Sam interfered with Jake as well, lecturing him, trying to change him from the carefree kid who never saw anything but the best in anyone. I felt the loathing for Sam Uley build deep in the pit of my stomach.

As I seethed with derision, disliking Sam with an unjust intensity, I realized who I now resembled.

Leah.

She now had a vendetta against the world, especially Sam, and maybe, as selfish as the thought was, I could use that to my advantage. I was blinded by my own relentless desire to unlock the secret that kept Edward away from me, so I forged on, even though I knew any answer I got would be at the expense of forcing Leah to discuss a subject that would cause her unbearable pain.

Partially sickened with myself, I drove as fast as my truck would go until I reached the Clearwaters' property. Leah's beat-up Civic sat in the driveway, telling me I had hit pay dirt.

I tore out of my truck without an umbrella and sloshed through the rapidly deepening puddles. In seconds, I found myself dripping wet and pounding on the front door with obstinate, frantic force.

Seth answered, his brow furrowing quizzically at my deranged appearance. "Bella? What's going—"

"Leah," I panted. "I need to talk to Leah."

"Uh, sure. She's upstairs, but I don't know if she wants any visitors."

I brushed past him, rushing up the narrow staircase, only to be stopped by Leah's bedroom door. I jiggled the knob, but it was locked. I tapped ferociously against the plywood. "Leah? It's Bella. I need to talk to you."

"Get lost." Like Sam, Leah now spoke in flat, unfeeling syllables.

I wouldn't go. She had every right to be bitter, but I was so close to knowing how she felt, to losing someone precious, that I couldn't give up. "Please, Leah. It's important."

"Get out of my house," I heard her sneer.

I banged harder on her door, unsuccessfully trying to stave off tears of desperation. "No."

She yanked open the door, nearly ripping it from its hinges, and met my eyes with disgust. "I want you gone. Now."

Through the globs of moisture pooling in my eyelids, I stared her down. I spoke quickly, hysterically, before she could slam the door in my face. "Can you tell me why Sam hates them—the Cullens? What he's got against them?"

I hadn't thought it possible, but her eyes flashed with an even more intense hatred, fully replacing the beauty and innocence of the face she once wore with an evil, hag-like version that both scared me and caused my heart to break for her. "You know, don't you, Leah? You know, even though you're not…supposed to?" I was grasping at straws, but what I saw in her expression told me I could be right, that she knew something.

She balled up her fist and sucked in the stale air between us. I thought she was going to clock me, but if she could tell me something, anything at all, I'd gladly pay the price for that knowledge with a broken nose or a black eye. Instead, she smirked with the ugliest, most twisted leer I'd ever seen. "They'll ruin you, too, you know. Just like they did to me." She practically choked on her own bitterness. "They caused Sam to turn into someone else, just like Jacob will. They're the reason Sam left, the same reason Jacob will leave you." She mercilessly gripped the doorframe, her knuckles turning white as the wood refused to buckle. "But then again, from what I've heard, maybe you deserve it."

Even though I had no idea what Leah was talking about, I was terrified. I shivered and, out of utter confusion, whispered, "What?"

"My dad says you're friends with them. But you don't know. You have no idea what they've done, how they've caused everything to change." Her voice broke finally. Allowing me to see her brief moment weakness only enraged her further.

"Leah, I'm sorry, but I don't—"

"You really want to know what they are? Your friends, the Cullens?" She spat their name in a hiss.

For a few moments, I stood opposite her, my arms wrapped around myself, partially wanting to reach out to comfort her but petrified to actually do so. Leah shook silently, her eyes bloodshot and squinting but her supply of tears long extinguished.

In a maniacal whisper, she continued, "I'm not supposed to tell. Hell, I'm not even supposed to know." She released her iron grip on the door and splayed her palms in the air, evidencing the tension that wracked her entire form. "But, my father thinks I needed to for my own 'peace of mind,'" she scoffed with disgust. "The love of my life leaves me—no destroys me—and somehow the truth is supposed to fix me?" She staggered toward me so that we were mere inches from each other, her voice growing in both volume and intensity. "Sam left me because the Cullens turned him into something else, something that made him not love me anymore, that made him fall for my cousin, my best friend, the girl who I learned to ride a bike with when I was seven and spent sleepovers with talking about the boys we'd marry someday. Well, guess what, Bella? The boy I was supposed to marry now wants to marry her. Because of them. The Cullens. The bloodsucking leeches who were supposed to be nothing more than made-up monsters in the scary stories my dad used to tell around the campfire."

I sensed I should go, not only because I wasn't getting any coherent answers out of her but also because I felt like I was slicing into her slowly with a rusty, razor-sharp knife. "Leah, I'm so sor—"

She grabbed my shoulders suddenly and flared her nostrils. "Vampires, Bella. They're very real, and I promise you, they will ruin you."

Leah tightened her grip as I flinched, her fingernails slightly digging into my shoulder blades. Before I could process the weight of her words, she released me and collapsed into a heap on the floor. Tearlessly, she sobbed, her fists clenched at her sides as her body convulsed uncontrollably.

I sunk down next to her, moving to wrap my arms around her, but she swatted me away and crawled back so she could reach the edge of her door and furiously slam it shut inches from my face.

Vampires. The word hit me as I blindly stumbled down the stairs and outside onto the Clearwaters' porch. It was ridiculous, a clear sign that Leah had gone completely insane, but yet…

My thoughts from the day before flooded my brain.

Edward was unfailingly perceptive.

Unnaturally strong.

Far too mature for the average high school boy.

Beautiful.

With eyes that varied in color depending on his mood.

His skin, pale and cold.

I sunk into the cab of my truck as I noticed for the first time observations that previously eluded me.

He spoke with the clarity and cadence of a different era.

He was absent on nice days, whenever the sun shone.

Everyone, including Edward himself, told me he was dangerous.

Vampires existing at all was a ludicrous concept.

The idea of vampires existing in Forks was even crazier.

The idea of Edward as a vampire…somehow didn't seem preposterous at all. It should have, but somehow it just fit. He'd lifted a truck off of me with a single, effortless shove, and as soon as I'd processed that, I could believe that he was a fictional creature, that he was more than just an average human being.

He was special, so…of course.

I could have spent the next hour trying to talk myself out of the idea, knowing that believing it warranted confinement in a mental institution, but I liked it. In fact, I liked a lot. It answered so many questions I'd asked myself for months. And…though I refused to dwell on the thought, it possibly explained why he'd kept his distance from me.

But it also raised questions. He didn't have fangs, as far as I could see. He came out during the day. Most importantly, he hadn't sunk his teeth into me and sucked the life out of me.

Billy had said the Cullens were dangerous, and Edward agreed with him. But I didn't. I knew Edward would never hurt me; I trusted him completely. He'd saved my life, in more ways than just catching me on the Newtons' dock and preventing my truck from crushing me along the highway. When I was with him, I was happier than I'd ever been. He made me believe in myself and, though I frequently felt incoherent in his presence, he also made me feel smart, so much so that I sent off an application to Dartmouth College and volunteered answers in class for the first time in my life. He laughed at my jokes and finished my thoughts. He got even the most bizarre parts of who I was and liked aspects of me I was embarrassed of. Thinking of him made me smile, even when I was alone in my bedroom or in the middle of a crowd of my classmates at school. He understood me, and I wanted to understand him, all of him, even the potentially blood-hungry side of him that might cause him to kill me.

Alice was right; I didn't care what he was. I just wanted him to be mine, or at the very least, part of my life.

It was entirely possible, probable in fact, that he wasn't a vampire, that he was just a very special person with supernatural abilities, like Clark Kent or Peter Parker. Or that I was totally off my rocker and had fabricated him completely. Regardless of what he was, superhero, figment of my imagination, or bloodsucking, mythical monster, I had to see him. Immediately.

Jerking my truck onto the 101, I sped as fast as I could go, to the point that my seat quaked beneath me, and drove north.

Halfway through my frantic need to get to Edward, I realized I had no idea where he lived; all I knew was that his family had a huge house outside of Forks next to the river. So I kept driving.

For an hour, I searched through the torrent of rain for a driveway or some sort of turnoff, driving back and forth from Forks to the county line, but I could barely see past my windshield.

The emotional weight of the situation finally reached me: I may not find him. Even if I waited for him to return to school or sent a message to him through Alice, it wouldn't be soon enough. I had to confront him now, to find out what he was hiding before the magic spell wore off and I became cowardly Bella again, hiding behind my fear and refusing to speak the truth. Edward is a vampire…maybe. It was simple enough, but I knew with time, sanity would kick in and my nerve would dissolve.

The rain became impossible to navigate through, especially since I was sobbing like a starving infant. Without thinking, in a fit of blind desperation, I pulled my truck to the roadside, grabbed my umbrella from off the floor, and stupidly stumbled out into the downpour. I made it a few yards into the woods before I stumbled.

It was a harmless fall, but I was out of control and didn't want to stand. For the next few minutes, I told myself, I was going to let myself cry and then no more. I leaned against a tree, crouched under my umbrella, and wept.

I listened to the rain drops splatter violently against my umbrella. I sat there remembering Edward's face the first time he touched me, when he caught my arm to help me regain my balance at the end of English class the second week of school. I thought about reading Shakespeare with him and how it had felt like we were the only two people in that classroom, maybe even in the universe. I tried to forget what my life was like before I met him and realized just how far from true happiness I'd been; with Jacob I'd been content, but Edward made me feel alive. Even if Edward and I were nothing but friends for the rest of our lives, I'd take it over going back to existing without him.

Finally, I sucked in my last sob and took a deep breath, allowing the reality of the situation to hit. If I never see him again, will I ever live down the regret of not knowing who—what he really is?

As the thought crossed my mind, I realized it was a moot point. Standing before me, amidst the pouring rain and sodden evergreens, with his beautiful, drenched face etched with concern and confusion, stood Edward.

Courage surged through me, and my voice found its way to him through the darkness. "I needed to see you."