(A/N: I'm not sure if what Voldy and Luna say are similes or metaphors, but I don't really care either. For some reason, the 'You mean similes' cracked up my friend so much.)
Scene 5
Malfoy: Voldemort! I just go off the phone with Harry! You were right! He wants to make things better! Can you believe it? No more shoving me aside, teasing me, arguing about politics! It's over! IT'S OVER!
Voldemort: I told you everything would work out, child. The coffee is always richer with four spoons of milk.
Malfoy: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Voldemort: I don't know.
Malfoy: …
Voldemort: Oh! Child! I almost forgot! I'm going to go volunteer my precious time at the local retirement home. It's bingo night! I'm caller!
Malfoy: But what if this is all a trap?
Voldemort: You think they'll set the Basilisk on you or something?
Malfoy and Voldemort: NAAAHH.
Malfoy: But who's coming with me?
Voldemort: Luna Lovegood.
Malfoy: That was random. How'd you come up with her?
Voldemort: When you cut your grass short, it grows back with brussel sprouts.
Malfoy: Yeaaaahh. Right. Nevermind.
[Exit Voldemort]
[Enter Luna]
Luna: Hey Malfoy.
Malfoy: Where'd you come from?
Luna: When the heavens bless the child who always tied their shoes with bunny ears, their heart turns orange like the sun's four moons.
Malfoy: Oh lord. What the hell is with these bad similes?
Luna: You mean similes.
Malfoy: I just said that.
Luna: Oh.
Malfoy: I meant metaphors, sorry.
Luna: You mean similes.
Malfoy: Let's just go.
[Exit Malfoy and Luna]