(A/N: This is where Pokemon comes in. The joke with the end of the Team Rocket speech is that Dumblodore has a really long name-Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore-- so while he's saying it, everyone else just talks over it. Also, we had Pokemon battle music for the Pokemon battle, and the Mortal Combat theme for the fight.)

Scene 6

Harry: Are we all good?

Ron: YEAH.

Dumbledore: He's coming! He's coming! Hide!

[Enter Malfoy and Luna]

Malfoy: So what did the robot say to the centipede?

[Luna shrugs]

Malfoy: STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!

Luna: My turn! My turn!

Malfoy: Okay…

Luna: What did the spoon say to the telephone?

Malfoy: What?

Luna: Firstly, the spoon made sure to tell the telephone that his meat was overcooked, followed by some sharp slaps to the bottom. She told him that the sun gods were unhappy with his breeding of livestock and told him to grow three corn fields and pluck every cob, sacrificing it to the volcano god. In conclusion, you should never plug your USB in to a chicken's anal entrance. But of course that is to say…

[Exit Luna]

Malfoy: Yeah. Right.

[Quiet talking offstage]

Malfoy: What was that?!

[Enter Harry, Ron, and Dumbledore]

Harry: Prepare for trouble!

Dumbledore: And make it double!

Harry: To protect the world from devastation!

Dumbledore: To unite all peoples within our nation!

Harry: To denounce the evils of truth and love!

Dumbledore: To extend our reach to the stars above!

Harry: Harry!

Dumbledore: Albus Perci--

Harry: Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!

Dumbledore: --lfric Brian--

Hermione: Hermione! That's—

Dumbledore: Dumbledore!

Malfoy: HARRY POTTER!

[Malfoy runs over to give Harry a hug, knocking Dumbledore offstage]

Harry [stops Malfoy with hand]: Whoawhoawhoawhoa.. Hold it there. I ain't here to make peace with you boi. There's gonna be some shizz goin on down here, iight?

Ron: YEAH!

Malfoy: What do you mean?

Hermione: He means that we gonna send a Basilisk so far up, you gonna find Christmas presents.

Malfoy: You mean... You're going to beat me up?

Ron: YEAH!

Harry: BASILISK! I CHOOSE YOU!

[Enter Basilisk]

Malfoy: Oh yeah? Well I choose—

[Enter Voldemort]

Voldemort: VOLDEMORT!

Harry: Basilisk! Use Eye Attack!

[Basilisk uses eye attack]

Malfoy: Voldemort! Dodge then use Bingo chips!

Voldemort: AHHHHHHHHH!

[Voldemort charges over at Basilisk and then sprinkles bingo chips lightly]

Basilisk: AMG. MAH EYES.

[Basilisk runs offstage, holding eyes]

Harry: No! No! Malfoy, I can't believe I lost! You may be able to beat me in a Pokémon battle but you can't beat me in…

[Enter Dumbledore]

Dumbledore: FIST-TO-FIST COMBAT! FIIIIIGHT!

[Exit Dumbledore]

[Harry and Malfoy create dramatic fight sequence, and finally Malfoy pokes Harry's eyes]

Harry [Clutching Eyes]: YOWWWW!

Malfoy: Surrender HARRY POTTER! It's over and you know it!

Harry: Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!

[Harry sighs]

Harry: Truth is, Malfoy, the only reason we picked on you and your Slytherins is because... Well... We're loners. Have you ever seen us hanging around with anyone?

Malfoy: You guys have Hagrid. And Dumbledore.

Harry: Yeah. A hairy giant and an old geezer. Fun.

Malfoy: So you were doing all this because… You were… Jealous?

Harry: JEALOUS? PSHAW. NO. I mean… Like… NOT JEALOUS JEALOUS… But y'know… Somewhat half than a quarter envious… JEALOUS? AHAHA. JEALOUS. PSH. NO.

Malfoy: It'd be much easier to admit it.

Harry: NEVER! Elementoi Gusungaga (disappearing spell)

[Harry does not disappear, is embarrassed]

Harry: Well this is awkward.

[Malfoy extends hand, picks Harry up]

Malfoy: This is school, HARRY POTTER. Slytherins, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws… It doesn't matter what house we are. We're all witches and wizards and we should always treat each other the way we want to be treated.

Harry: You don't really mean that do you?

Malfoy: Of course not!

[Harry and Malfoy laugh]

Harry: Well, I've got a detention with Snape so I better go.

Malfoy: Alright.

[Harry is about to leave but stops near end, looking over shoulder]

Harry: Yo Draco.

Malfoy: Yeah?

Harry: You're not too bad, once you get past the greasy, slicked back hair of yours and your faux Brit accent. I'll see ya around.

[Exit Harry]

Ron: YEAH!

[Exit Ron]

Voldemort: Everything worked out fine, did it not? I told you child. Flowers are unwilling to pay the price of death if love has forsaken the mother's own happiness.

Malfoy: Whatever you just said, you're probably right.

[Exit Voldemort and Malfoy]

Luna:You mean similes.