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I run home staggering about in the snow as the tears escaping my eyes cloud my vision. Why am I always hurt so badly? Why am I never set free to be happy?

My knees fall week and buckle under at the pressure sending me to the floor. My body is too limp and distressed to move. I lay there in the snow sobbing violently. I do not wish to move. In fact I couldn't care less if I was to die of over exposure to the cold right here. Who would care? How many people would it crush? Some might mourn for a little while but not for long.

"Johanna's what's happened? Have they ran out of my oranges." A shaky frail voice calls. I almost turn around and hit him but I remind myself that this is only an innocent old man.

I press my face into the snow letting the adrenaline of the cold fill my veins with such delight. Every inch of my face in tingling with sensation but I cannot bring myself to move.

"Jo!" I hear as the pounding footsteps come. It's funny, when I want him to come to the recuse he doesn't come. But when I want to be left alone to see what nature has in store for me, he comes.

"What's happened?" He ask in concern peeling back my face from the snow. I just look into his deep brown eyes and clutch onto the collar of his shirt. "Help me." I whisper softly. Help me. Take me away from all this.

He takes my shaky hands and pulls me to my feet taking me into my house. "He said it Blight! He told me. He told me he had feelings for me." I say in a tight voice as I kick off my boots from my swollen with cold feet.

"I see." He replies with just as gobsmacked.

"What does he want from me Blight? What is there for him to possibly want from me?" I exclaim gripping onto the back of my sofa.

I'm sick of people always wanting something from me. I practically killed his brother and now he says he has feelings for me? Is that just some wicked trick? How could he possibly ever want me after I did that?

"He wants to make you happy Johanna." Blight tells me softly.

Happy? I don't understand why someone I had inflected so much pain upon would want to make someone like me happy.

"The truth is I'm so so sick of not being good enough or loosing every person I've ever loved that I can't even open my heart to fall for that boy. And that's sad." I say really loosing it now as the tears stream down my face.

I can't even let myself like him because I feel as if I'm being strangled my Snow's reins every time I try. I can hear Blight's heart break slightly as the words escape my lips. The idea to him of me never being able to love again hurts him.

"Jo, he doesn't expect you to fall in love with him." Blight whispers to me. But I shake my head in disagreement.

"He does Blight! Because he doesn't know what it's like being a victor. He doesn't know about all the complications as to why I can't love him." I choke out.

"Well then explain to him..." Blight says about to take my hand in comfort but I pull them to my sides.

"You know what he said to me...back there," I'm crying heavily now and I think it's the first time Blight has ever heard me cry so badly. But what Chuck said to me hurt more than anything anyone's ever said to me and I've had many things said. But it hurt because it's true.

"He said 'why're you running away from the guy who makes you happy and

Fighting for the one that makes you cry'." I tell him. Why am I always running back to Finnick even though he hurts me. Even though he cannot love me.

"Because the one that makes you cry happens to the one that knows you better than any of us." Blight says quietly and I can't help think its true.

"But knowing me the best isn't enough. He has Annie and she makes him happy." I whisper. You can here the bitterness on my words as they escape my lips.

"Don't shout at me Johanna but.. Do you feel something for Finnick? Is that why you can't fall for Chuck?" He asks me. In my usual personality I would have thrown the nearest thing at him but I can't help but contemplate with that for a moment.

"No...there's just something about Finnick that I can't let go... He's gone through so much with me but do I love him? No." I breath gripping at the sides of my head.

"Jo, you've got to realise that not everyone is out to get you." He whispers to me pulling me into a hug.

"I'm a victor. Everyone is out to get you." I sigh.