Days went by, slowly for some, more quickly for others.

There were missions, crazed criminals that tried to take over, inner problems among the Avengers, disagreements with the bosses. Problems, problems and more problems. But solutions, too. This happened and were solved.

Loki had become part of the routine of Stark tower, part of the life there. He would wake up late, ask Jarvis to make some tea and read something. Sometimes he stayed on his room all day, sometimes Banner would come to talk – sometimes they were just silent in the same room, sometimes they merely talked about the weather, sometimes it was heart-breaking stories from the past. Sometimes he went out and played chess with Stark (if the inventor was presentable) sometimes the good Captain would come and show him things about this planet he found enjoyable.

It was tolerable. More or less.

Loki knew that trying to off himself or succumbing to the darkness would get him a lot of unwanted attention, so he pretended to be better. That way, people weren't so much on him, they left him alone. He didn't want any attention. Not anymore. He had, some time ago – he had sought attention so badly. But now he preferred to disappear. So he hid. Hid the agony, the self-loathing, the melancholy he felt every time he woke. He hid and he waited. He pretended things were okay. Talked with his jailers to make them believe his story. Yes, everything was so much better now.

Really. So much better.

And then, when they got out, if he got injured it wouldn't be because he wanted to be hurt – it would be because he didn't want his precious new friends to suffer any injury. Yes. This was a much better plan. Why had he even tried to be honest with them? No, pretense and lies were the only things that would get him out of that horrible situation. He would get them to release him, or take him to a mission so dangerous that a horrible tragedy would happen. Yes.

Poor Loki, when he was finally on the mend, redeeming himself, finding happiness again, this is so sad.

Loki suspected that Banner was onto him and his plan – that man was too intelligent for his own good. But he seemed to be fooling the rest too. The Captain told Loki he was glad to see him less gloomy. Stark said he was much more entertaining now, even if he looked a bit suspicious. Thor joked with him. People were buying it.

And then there was the mission that changed things even more.

They were fighting a bunch of evil minions near the river, at night, and they had Captured Iron Man in an electro-magnetic field. Nobody knew exactly where the Hulk was, and Black Widow and Hawkeye were with Thor in the Upper East Side, fighting other enemies. So it was only them – Loki and the Captain fighting fifteen guys on their own.

Steve was worried. He was worried because he had seen Loki the last few times on the field and he knew that he didn't have the endurance from the beginning. Ever since he recovered from the bank incident he'd been lasting less and less, even his magic was weaker. He was worried.

And with good reason.

When Steve thought the battle was won, he turned around, to see his ally being grabbed by the neck and thrown with incredible force in his direction. The god, unconscious, fell violently in the river and Steve quickly threw himself too.

He swam, desperately, trying to find any traces of the fallen god, but couldn't see him. Steve didn't like the water and knew he couldn't stay too much underwater but he had to find him. They couldn't lose him now. Now when everything was going better, now when he was making up for all the did, now when they were getting to know him and understand him and appreciate him.

No.

And then he saw a shadow falling and swam towards it. There was still hope. He would save him, they would all save him even if it Loki himself didn't want to be saved.

Steve arrived at the place where Loki was and took him up. God, it was good not to have to hold his breath. But there was no time – he had to get Loki out of there, out of the water, try to wake him up.

He was on the shore in no time, and left the drenched body of his ally in the pavement. A group of people started surrounding them, curious. Steve didn't care in that moment. There were bigger problem: like the fact that Loki wasn't breathing. He started giving CPR, even if part of him felt this was already a lost battle. If it wasn't this time, it would be the next time, or the next. And all those days, all those conversations it has just been borrowed time.

But no. He could turn this thing around, like he had others. When everything seemed impossible they had prevailed. Beaten death. Steve kept at it, but nothing happened.

"Breathe damn it!"

The tears were mixed with the water from the river. Steve kept at it. Not giving up – no, he couldn't lose the guy, not now – maybe he'll be happier this way a voice in Steve's voice said.

"NO!"

And then, after what seemed an eternity, Loki coughed up some water, and opened his eyes. His throat hurt, his lungs were on fire and he was choking on water, but he was still there. Through the haze, he saw a concerned figure standing over him.

"Loki? Can you hear me?"

Tony appeared flying, after finally getting free from the cell he was in. He landed next to Steve.

"Hey, Cap." And then, seeing how wet they were. "What happened, felt like doing a midnight skinny dip?"

Steve shot him a nasty look.

"Loki nearly drowned. How are things in your front, Stark?"

"Thor and the others are still on it, but I think they have the upper hand. You guys need me to give you a lift?"

Steve shot the still coughing and shivering Loki a long look.

"Take him to the tower, to medical. I'll find my way to Natasha and the others."

Tony nodded.

Then Steve went to the other man, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He had read somewhere that it was good for depressed people to feel valued – so he made sure to thank him every time he was on battle.

"You did well today, Loki. I am happy you're still with us." He smiled. "Now rest and get better, we need you whole for next time, ok?"

And he left.

Tony took the still shaking Loki and flew him to the tower.

With the whole crisis, most of the people had left, and it was just Tony and Loki in the whole room. Damn. Tony wasn't a big fan of playing host, much less to a nearly drowned, emotionally unstable, alien god. What to do, what to do… First things first, the magic-cancelling bracelets, to avoid any accidents. But then…

"Sit on the gurney, I'll get you a towel."

He went a got a towel. Loki looked even paler than usual, and was still shaking.

"You all right?" The brunette nodded weakly, drying himself. "I've called Bruce and the medics, they should be here soon."

He never answered. The inventor took two glasses and filled them with scotch – his default behavior.

He sat next to him, for some reason.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Loki took the glass, thankfully and downed it in one go.

"I thought I could do this, you know? I thought I could pretend to be… in good spirits and glad to be part of this team. But I am… exhausted, Stark. Thoroughly exhausted."

Tony refilled Loki's glass.

"I know how you feel, pal."

He knew what it was to feel like life was meaningless.

"But it's not forever."

Tony winked at him, wishing he could say something more. But Loki had already lain on the gurney and closed his eyes, tired, shore, confused. It had been an intense day.

"Get well soon, sad-eyes. Get well soon."

A/N: Not very good but it has been forever since I updated and this was what came out. If you liked, please comment! Feedback is much appreciated ;)