Drowning In You
Chapter 9: The Corner Of Bitter And Sweet
A/N: Hello to all you people! Sorry that I haven't posted this yet and that I didn't keep my promising about posting on the weekend. I got really busy this weekend and I just didn't get it finished. So sorry about that, but I tried to make it longer than normally. I hope you all like it! Thank you all so, so, so much for reading. Oh, if any of you are interested I will be starting a new fan fiction soon called "A Shattered Disaster". It will be a Percy and Nico fan fiction! :3 I just thought I would tell you all that incase any of you want to check it out. Well, anyways thank you for reading and have a great week! :D
When Nico woke up the next morning he still felt the sting from the fight with Percy the night before. Every part of him hurt; his mind, his body, his heart. Although most of the pain was in his heart his head still ached like a bitch. He didn't believe hitting the floor would harm him so much. Leaning back on his couch, Nico glanced over at the clock, noting how late it was. Two forty-eight p.m.: a small laugh escaped his lips as he realized how late he had woken up. Even though the topic wasn't particularly funny he continued to laugh before the sound quickly died down into nothing. He didn't understand what was going on with his mind or his body, but he just wanted it all to go away. He felt as though he was going out of his mind. He didn't want to be crazy. Grabbing the back of the couch he dug his fingernails into the soft cushion, tearing his hands down it in a jagged pattern. A petite sigh left his pale, chapped lips as he gazed warily at the small streaks in the cloth. He didn't even know why he had done that, but he had- over and done with. Shaking his head from side to side Nico lay his face on the couch cushion, quickly grabbing the remote from the coffee table and flipping over a few channels. For a moment he waited for someone to rush into the living room and scream at him to turn the volume down, but it didn't happen. Another sigh. He should have known; his father had to work and Bianca had gone out shopping. Of course he would be alone- like always. After a moment of thinking it over Nico felt a fleck of gratitude that Bianca wasn't home. If she was home the girl would have bothered him to no end, knowing that something was wrong with him. Nico had that tell-tell sign that allowed everyone to know when he was feeling down or close to the breaking point- he would sit there, legs tucked under him, either clutching a pillow or a blanket as though it was his last life line. When ever he would curl up like so Bianca would automatically sense the tension inside of him, pooling anger followed by bitter tears that still dripped sore. She always knew.
Sitting up suddenly, a burst of fear erupted through out Nico, giving that uncomfortable, gurgling feeling inside his stomach. Holding tightly to the couch cushion, Nico pulled his cell phone our of his pocket, the silence now consuming him and leaving him hallow and empty inside. It was awful, the feeling of complete and utter loneliness. He could already say that he truthfully missed Percy. When ever Nico was upset or feeling depressed, Percy was there, holding him tight until the hurt was gone, but now it was gone. He had no shield- no armor to protect him.
Holding the phone tightly in his hands, Nico dialed Thalia's number quickly, not wanting to listen to the eerie silence for a moment longer. He waited a few moments before there was a click on the other end, "Hello?"
"Hey Thalia." Nico sighed glumly into the phone before standing up from the couch.
"Nico?" Thalia questioned lightly before frowning slightly to herself. Even though she couldn't see Nico's discomfort she knew he was worried or scared about something. Something was bothering him, eating away at him like always, "Are you alright?"
Nico started to mumble fine, but suddenly he stopped. Trying his best to keep it short, sweet, and to the point, Nico tried to summaries the events that unfolded with him and Percy. It didn't matter how much he wanted to conceal his sorrow the words began to pour from his mouth, coming in a torrent as he explained everything that had happened prior to last night. He waved his hands harshly, although the other girl couldn't see him. It took him about a full fifteen minutes before he was done telling the entire story. When he finally dropped the subject, finishing up what he had to say, he realized that tears were dotting the corners of his eyes. A tremble ran through his form as he realized how much he had told her, "So, that's what happened."
Nico's voice was weak through all his pain. He didn't want this to happen, he wasn't use to letting anyone in, not even Thalia. He waited silently for the girl to reply. It took a moment for Thalia to gather her wits and find her voice. "Do you want me to come over?" She asked Nico softly, trying her best to comforting, although that wasn't really her forte.
"Nah, I'll be alright I guess. I think I'll go visit a few friends later, but I just really felt like I need to talk to someone for a minute. Be my voice of reason." Nico said quiet, wondering to himself if that was the real reason he had called her.
On the other end Thalia lay down on her bed, clumps of ashen hair coasting over her pastel cheeks. She stretched her back tensely before sighing into her soft comforter. "If you need me just call me back alright. Sometimes I worry about you, Nico. You and Percy have been through hell together and for him to treat you like that is a dick move, but I don't want you to do anything rash or what ever. Just stay calm and remember; breath in, breath out, and punch a bastard in the face. Good luck with you love issues. I'll talk to Grover and see if he can talk some sense into Percy," After a moment Thalia sighed once more and lowered her voice, "Stay calm, breath in, breath out, and punch a bastard in the face. Love you, Nico, and don't go tossing yourself from bridges over some guy. I'll talk to you later."
"Alright..." Nico paused as he realized Thalia was already off the line. He muttered under his breath, "That didn't make me feel any better. Thanks, Thalia."
Annabeth felt as though her heart was breaking for Nico and for Percy. She knew she shouldn't get involved in these two- she knew it was a bad idea, but Nico just seemed so nice and Percy needed to know. The only reason she cared about Percy was for Nico. Nico was sweet, even through all his depression, solitude, and bitterness. She could see a good kid down below the surface- if someone wouldn't have broken him he could have been absolutely perfect; a golden child, the model student, a goody two shoes. He was a good person who had a few personal issues and embraced the darkness in his heart. Percy, however, was a completely different story. For Nico, Annabeth wanted to become his friend- she wanted to be one of the few people he let in when he had a problem. Percy was just there because the two came in a pair. She wanted one, but not the other. She didn't really care about Percy, she was over and done with doing anything to make the boy happy, but if Percy wasn't happy, Nico wasn't happy. The next day, Annabeth finally realized exactly what she had done. She had told Percy that Nico was cheating on him without knowing if that was true. She prayed that she had done the right thing, that was all she was trying to do. She didn't want to make Percy happy, she didn't want Percy back, she didn't want the two to break up- She only did it because she thought it was right in the spur of the moment. Now she just had guilt eating at her heart and ice in her soul.
Leaning back on her couch, Annabeth held up the current book she was reading and tried to forget everything she had done the prior day. Although she couldn't comprehend anything that was going on in the book, Annabeth continued to read- that is, until a knock came on the door. She tilted the book to the side, catching a glimpse of her front door before putting it down and clambering to her feet. She opened the door quickly and her heart automatically fell. Nico rocked tenderly on her porch, looking down at the ground before sniffling quietly. Annabeth just stared at him with a swirl of curiosity and concern, knowing that now she had gotten her wish; She was one of the people Nico would let in when he had a problem and right now that was happening.
"Nico, come here! What's wrong?!" She asked with pain in her voice, feeling a moment of devastation as she watched the boy stand awkwardly before her, dipping his head down and not wanting her to see his tears. Without a moment of hesitation she motioned him inside, holding tightly to his arm before leading him over to the couch. Running his fingers along the soft fabric of the couch, Nico plopped down, his heart in his throat.
"I- I cried the whole way here." Nico replied emotionless before shaking his head, dark hair dropping over his creamy, brown eyes. Annabeth was always fascinated with the way the boy looked. He had such intense eyes; looking with a darting gaze and a glint of thoughtfulness that would never be dulled. Through his mature expression you could still see long, marred pain that still dripped sore. Annabeth already knew that Nico had to have a traumatic experience in his past to make him look like that and her initial thoughts was that it was his mother's death. She remembered hearing something about that, but wouldn't even dare pry at that subject. Another thing about Nico that mystified her was just his entire form. He looked like a skeleton with a few scraps of meat still hanging from those tiny bones. He was skinny- skinnier than normal. She wouldn't say he was anorexic, but it was close. The thing she didn't understand was that Nico was actually fairly strong. Luke had mentioned to her once, a while after they had spent the day in the hot tub, that Nico could almost match his strength, but he was still a fair way away. Luke was a big guy, being on the football team, and it surprised her that Nico even stood a chance. It also surprised her that Luke would know. She still didn't know what was going on there, but she intended to find out- maybe not today, not tomorrow, or the next day, but it would be soon.
"What?! Why have you been crying?!" Annabeth was completely taken aback by the way Nico was acting. He had cried? How could Nico di Angelo cry? He was usually the emotionless, socially awkward kid who would never let anyone see him hurt, but now there they were. Annabeth didn't really know how to comfort a person like that, but finally decided to wrap her arms around him and rocked him slowly. It was a tender, caring action, but Nico recoiled after a moment. She automatically left him alone.
Annabeth watched silently as Nico's lower lip trembled lightly and faint tears left his eyes, only to be wiped away by a quick hand. "It's Percy. He- he fucking broke up with me because someone thought it would be funny to fuck with me!" Nico let out a dramatic howl of anger before laying his face in his hands.
"Well," Annabeth stiffened as she realized that she was the one who had ruined everything for him, "What did that person tell Percy?"
"They said that I was cheating on him or something," Nico's voice cracked before he cursed under his breath, "Apparently they saw me with this other boy who kissed me. I didn't come on to him, but he kissed me and they told Percy it was the other way around! Then Percy went off on me! He pushed me down and told me to get out of his house like I was some animal! I just...I couldn't believe it! He's such a fucking bastard!"
Annabeth watched the boy breath in and out deep, more tears coming from those wide eyes. Eventually she heard him whisper "breath in, breath out, and punch a bastard in the face", which worried her to no end. She didn't know where that came from, but it sounded like he meant it. Finally, not thinking at all, Annabeth's heart came to a conclusion before her mind.
"Nico, I didn't think he would do that to you! I just thought he deserved to know! I wouldn't have told him if I knew he was going to break up with you!" A hand quickly clasp over her mouth and, no initially knowing that it was her own, she recoiled. Nico gawked at her like she was a creature from another planet. Eventually his shock was taken over by the anger coursing through his heart.
"What the hell did you do? What the fuck did you do, Annabeth!? How could you?! Why would you?! I thought we could become friends! Why the fuck did you do that to me! I actually thought we could be friends, you bitch!" Nico shook his head in anger before he surged to his feet. Grabbing his own arm, Nico sunk his fingernails into his wrist. He saw faint arches forming in his flesh, but he didn't care.
His heart hurt, his head hurt, it all hurt. Running his hands through he hair, Nico let a deep breath out of his nose before allowing a few tears to slip through his guard, not bothering to wipe them away. He quickly surged back, turning on the girl with anger glistening in his eyes.
"Nico, it's not that I wanted to hurt you! I just thought he should know! I never meant to hurt you!" Annabeth protested as she climbed to her feet, grabbing Nico's shoulders and trying to hold him in place a he paced wildly. Nico automatically thrashed, but Annabeth held him tightly.
"Let go! Fuck you!" Nico hissed wickedly as he struggled.
"No! Not until you agree to listen to me! I never wanted to hurt you! I wanted to do the right thing!" Annabeth bickered back with him.
"You know what?! All you want is Percy back! Now, let me go!"
Annabeth paused for a moment, then shook her head. Letting her hands slip from Nico's shoulders she allowed the boy to tumble backwards. He nearly fell before quickly catching his balance. Staring at Annabeth with curiosity and glimmering anger he tossed his head jaggedly to the side.
"Nico, I know you're angry. I know you must hate me right now, but I have to tell you this; If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll be here. I like you, Nico, and a lot at that. You and me could be good friends and I want you to know the truth. I think I need to let the pain shimmer for a while before ever trying to become friends again. I want to fix this, but you have to know the full story. There is a reason I did that, whether you want to believe me or not. I just hope you work this out. I hope you eventually want to try being friends again. I hate how bad I hurt you. Please, believe me." Annabeth looked down on the ground, afraid to look at Nico after she finished. The only response she gained was the slamming of the front door.
Nico didn't know what to do anymore, it was official. Every time he wanted to talk to someone for comfort it blew up in his face, so what was the point in trying. He just wanted to drive until he lost the road. It would have been so much easier for him to just disappear. He lay his head back as he coasted down the street, not focusing on anything in particular. He knew he should have paid more attention to the road, but he just wasn't in it. There was a slight pang of fear speeding through his heart as he almost rear-ended the red mustang in front of him. Shaking his head in despair, Nico went to the only place he knew where he could completely and utterly clear his mind; the park. He had been there before with Percy once, but before he knew Percy he came there a lot to thing, to walk, to just breath. He need to clear his head and his heart.
Stalking through the park, evening air casted down on his pale flesh, sending a pleasant shiver through him. Shaking his head breezily, Nico slipped his aviator jacket from his shoulders, folding it before crossing it over his arms. He didn't really know what he was thinking about, but it felt nice to just get away for a while. He felt like he could breath freely on his own- that is, until he saw a group of people storm by, yelling and cheering. Nico saw face pass him quickly; smiling, grinning, laughing, choking on their own tongues. Amongst the group was a girl and boy holding hands tightly. Nico felt a ping of jealousy as he noted them. He had to wonder why ever one else was so happy. Sighing lightly to himself, Nico stormed over towards one of the benches beside the small pond before collapsing to the cold concrete and staring out at nothing. It was that instant of feeling completely and utterly alone that got him. He would be damned if any strangers saw him cry. Burring his face in his hands, Nico slumped over, crying out lightly into his open hands. He hated feeling so weak, so vulnerable. He was Nico fucking di Angelo. He shouldn't have been sitting there looking out at everyone else being happy and moping because his love life was going to the dumps. It felt like he was going through hell, but in the end he would pull through, no matter how depressed he got along the way.
Nico was surprised when someone came up behind the bench and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. He was about to whirl around and tell who ever it was to fuck off, but before he could get the words to roll from his tongue the boy behind him piped up, "You, me- want to kiss?"
Nico shot up automatically, wondering if Luke actually had the nerve to ask him to kiss him. What the fuck was wrong with today?! Swiveling around in his seat Nico was about to lay an open hand smack across the boy's face, but stopped when he realized Luke was actually holding out a small back of those little kiss chocolates. Nico blushed profoundly as Luke popped one in his mouth and shook the bag at him once more. "So, do you want to kiss?"
There was a small shake of Nico's head before he reached over and took a small candy from the bag and stuck it in his mouth. At that moment, with the flavor of chocolate running over his tongue, a thought dawned on him, "Don't you mean do you want A kiss instead of TO kiss?" Nico ask, making sure to put extra power into the words to and a. He watched a wicked smile appear on Luke's lips before he shook his head no.
"Get the fuck out of here, Luke." Nico replied weakly to the answer before turning back to the pond, staring at his reflection in the clear water. Luke watched him with sad, confused eyes. He didn't think twice before coming around the side of the bench and bending down, sitting closely beside Nico so that their sides were pressed together. Nico didn't even flinch.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Luke said cautiously before slowly wrapping his arms around the top of Nico's shoulders. He pulled the boy over to him, but Nico never took his eyes off his own reflection in the water. It took a moment for Nico to even look at the other boy beside him.
"I am utterly worthless. I mean it, I am utterly worthless. Or at least I feel that way." Nico muttered weakly under his breath before catching a glimpse of the startled expression that overtook Luke's features. He was utterly lost. Bending his head down, Nico let out a deep, heavy breath, "Percy broke up with me."
Luke swallowed harshly, not sure how to react to that. Percy had loved Nico for a while and would never do anything to hurt him. The two had a perfect relationship, with perfect dates, and a perfect sex life. Yep, they had it good. So why the fuck would Percy give that up? How could he let another amazing thing slip through his fingers; first Annabeth and now Nico. Jackson must have been a few layers short of a fruitcake. Luke look back at Nico before wrapping his arms tightly around the boy's upper chest. Nico didn't know how to respond for a moment, due to the fact that he didn't even know what Luke was doing, but he quickly realized the boy was hugging him.
"Yeah, I think me and Annabeth are going to break up soon anyways. I mean we just don't click anymore. I hate it, but I don't know if I should break up with her or not. Either way I you and me are in the same boat. Maybe we can keep each other company through our loneliness." Luke laughed slightly before pulling Nico back into his arms. Nico didn't know what to do. He didn't want Luke to hold him, but he didn't want to get up either. Just sitting there made him feel so much better. He smiled weakly to himself.
"I guess sitting here with you isn't that bad. You make me feel a little better at least." Nico smiled lightly once more, before sitting up. "This is just so bitter sweet isn't it."
Luke glanced over at the boy before nodding lightly to himself. "Yeah, I guess it is bitter sweet isn't it."
Nico stared at Luke curiously before realizing Luke was laughing wildly. Across the park people began to start at the two wondering what all the commotion was about. Nico was about to ask if something was wrong, but suddenly Luke bounded to his feet.
"We're on our way to the corner of bitter and sweet." Luke cried through the park. He looked back at Nico with a dazzling smile before adding, "And I can't wait to see you there."
Nico watched him with wide eyes before smiling. He didn't understand what Luke was saying, but the words made his heart lift and his entire being felt lighter. He felt happier just knowing that someone else had the same feelings as himself. Nico stared at Luke for a moment longer, watching as he quickly threw off his shoes and stuck his feet in the pond before laying back on the ground. Kicking his feet wildly, Luke flung water upwards not caring how much people were staring. Nico sighed lightly to himself before a tiny smile coasted onto his lips.
"Hey Luke! How about you stop kicking the water and come with me! We can go hand out at my house if you want." Luke whirled around and stared at Nico before grinning brightly. He nodded once before standing up quickly and rushing towards Nico, who was already walking away from the pond. Although Nico would have waited for him, Luke didn't bother to pick up his shoes. He left them laying there beside the pond, unattended. Nico didn't bother to ask why he left his shoes and he wasn't sure he wanted to know why.