I know when the other Titans are dreaming.
Sometimes, if I can concentrate hard enough in the dead of night, I can see what is in their visions.
The rapid eye movement of tense crime fighting teenagers stuck in their own, blessed limbo of mind and thought…
It is where the soul squeezes free…..for lack of a better, poetic expression.
Robin's dreams are always running around in circles. Battle schematics, Titans Tower supply lists, equipment specifications, and other strings of data befitting a collation of files cycle through his brain. It is the signature of a young man plagued by anxiety and guilt within the shadow of responsibility. I can understand where Robin's anxiety comes from…..as being the leader of our team does evoke its own level of decent stress. The guilt—however—has yet to make itself known to me. But Robin does wear a mask. Perhaps the answer isn't that complex at all.
Starfire would certainly know something to do about him. Her dreams often feature Robin in it. But-believe it or not—they do not necessarily have him playing the romantic role. But rather, Robin is almost always an outside-extra to Starfire's nightly visions. She sleeps soundly at night, despite the fact that many of her dreams froth about along the border of fear and uncertainty. At first, I've been inclined to believe that Starfire's dreams at night are the outlets for pessimistic and negative emotions that the Tamaranian girl refuses to indulge in on a daily basis. But I've since come to assume that—in all simplicity—Starfire has gone through a terrible deal of pain in her life. And her dreams are part of many different seams in her honestly complex personality….healing themselves…..
Beast Boy rarely ever dreams these days. He is far too incredibly happy. Ever since Terra has 'moved in' with us and joined the team, Beast Boy has been having all of his wishes fulfilled in the daytime. He doesn't joke around or goof off quite as much (not that I miss that or anything) (and I don't). And I do not think it is because he is simply too occupied with Terra right now. Much rather, he's content in life….and he doesn't need so desperately to make up for it.
Unlike Cyborg, whose dreams are—by far—the most disturbing. He never tells this to anyone, but he wakes up screaming at least once a month….sometimes twice. And it must feel awkward to him, for he has attempted convincing us—his teammates—that he is incapable of sleep. And that his recharging on his lab bed in his room is—simply that. Recharging….and no biological shadow of his former self. Only, he does dream…..and his dreams are of him losing his former self. At first—gaining back an arm or a limb. Then—at the last second, losing the limbs again and going crippled for the rest of his life. And in his dreams, Cyborg is often losing his teeth too. At first, I've considered his issue to be a fear of mortality. But then I've come to realize that—with a person such as Cyborg—the fear is not that of a loss of life. But a loss of humanity.
Sometimes I have wondered to what extent I should continue observing these dreams of my team members. In all honesty, it has not been my intention to 'eavesdrop' as I have. Sometimes an empathy cannot help absorbing that which emanates around her. Ultimately, though, the Titans have grown to ease out of the extreme positives and extreme negatives of their dreamscape situations.
In other words, it is nothing that might vex me nowadays.
Though I must confess….about Terra….
Terra doesn't dream at all. She hardly ever sleeps at all. For all I see in her is darkness….which means her tired blue eyes searching the corners of her darkened bedroom…
As she cries herself to sleep everynight.
And for the life of me, I cannot figure out why….