Chapter Three: The Train Job
In a bar, men play cards while belly dancer move their bodies to the music. She dances by Mal, who has a hand behind his back and slips him a piece of paper.
Mal tucks the paper into his coat pocket and continues playing Chinese checkers with Zoe and Jayne.
"Your move." Jayne says. They watch Mal move his pieces.
"That's a bold move." Zoe says.
Mal shrugs. "I live on the edge." He takes a swig of his drink. Zoe moves her pieces, beating Mal.
Jayne snorts and looks at Mal. "Nice work, dumbass."
"I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge…not an ideal location. Thinkin' a place in the middle."
"Toast! Toast!" A man calls but people continue talking. "QUIET! SHUT UP!" He shouts, sending the place into silence. "I'm, uh, I got words." The large man slurs. "I'm sayin' this is an a'spicious day. We all know what day it is."
Jayne looks at Mal, who has a serious look on his face. "Suspicious…what day is it?"
"A glorious day, for all the proud members of the allied planets. Unification day!" The man; Lund, pumps his fist into the air. Mal closes his eyes for a moment before sharing a look with Zoe. He turns back to Lund. "The end of the scumbag independents, the dawn of a new galaxy!" The crowds cheers and Mal starts to get up.
"Captain?" Zoe asks.
He leaves the table. "I just feel the need for another drink."
"What month is it?" Jayne asks, confused.
Mal walks to the bar and sits next to Lund, leaning forwards to get the bartender's attention. "Ching zie lie ee bay Ng-Ka-Pei?" He asks.
Lund looks at him. "Hey, you gonna drink t'the Alliance wi' me? Six years today, the Alliance sent the browncoats running, pissing their pants." He looks at Mal's outfit. "Y'know, your coat is kinda a brownish color."
"It was on sale." Mal downs his drink.
"You didn't toast? Y'know, I'm thinkin' you one of them independents."
"And I'm thinkin' you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling. So why don't we just ignore each other, til we go away?" Mal turns away from the man and faces the bar.
"The Independents were a bunch of cowardly inbred pisspots. Shoulda been killed off of every world spinnin'."
Mal's face hardens and he sets down his drink. "Say that to my face." He stands from his seat.
Lund stands as well. "I said, you're a coward, and a pisspot." He says slowly. "Now what are you gonna do about it?"
Mal smiles. "Nothin'. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind ya." Lund turns around only to be pistol whipped by Zoe. They watch him fall to the ground. "Drunks are so cute." The entire bar slowly stands up, angry looks on their faces. Mal sighs. "Oh juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan."
"Jayne…" Zoe says.
Jayne sits with his feet on the table, relaxed. "Hey, I didn't fight in no war. Best of luck, though." He takes a swig of his drink.
"Fine. Let's do this."
The holographic window flickers as Mal flies through it. He brings his com to his mouth. "Wash, we've got some local color happening. Your grand entrance would not go amiss." He says. Zoe pushes two men around as she and Mal fight. "Is Jayne even awake?" Suddenly, Jayne comes out of the building fighting knocking a few more men around with a barstool. Zoe head-butts a man and the fighting continues. Mal looks down. "Woah woah…haha!" He says that they are on the edge of a cliff. "There's just an acre of you fellas." He turns to Zoe. "This is why we lost, you know. Superior numbers."
"Thanks for the re-enactment, sir." She says.
Lund comes out of the bar with a large gun in hand and aims at Mal. Two men flank them, drawing their weapons as well.
"Hey, them ain't kosherized rules." Jayne says.
"I'm thinkin' somebody needs to put you down, dog. What do you think?" Lund asks.
"I'm thinkin' we'll rise again." Mal says. Just then, Serenity rises behind them.
"Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a new crater in this little moon." Wash threatens.
The men stumble back before retreating to the bar. Zoe, Mal, and Jayne board the ship. Mal waves with a cheerful smile.
They walk to the cargo bay. "Damn yokels can't even tell a transport ship ain't got no guns on it." Jayne laughs. "'Blow a new crater in this moon.'" He chuckles before walking away.
Mal and Zoe walk to the cockpit. "My thanks Wash, nice save as always." He says.
Wash nods. "A pleasure."
"And how are our passengers?"
Kaylee slides out from under a panel with a smile on her face. "They're fine. So…" She sees Mal and Zoe. "What happened? Was there a terrible brawl?"
"Oddly enough, there was." Zoe says.
Wash turns to Mal. "Are you gettin' my wife into trouble?"
"What? I didn't start it!" Mal says, an innocent look on his face. "Just wanted a quiet drink."
"Funny, sir, how you always seem to find yourself in an Alliance-friendly bar come U-day, looking for a 'quiet drink'." Zoe deadpans.
"See, this is another sign of your tragic space dementia, all paranoid and crotchety. Makes it hard." He says, making Kaylee laugh.
"Did we at least make a contact?" Wash asks.
Mal pulls out a piece of paper. "Ladies and menfolk, we have ourselves a job." Zoe takes it with a smile on her face. "Take us out of the world, Wash, got us some crime to be done."
Trinity walks in. "How was the fight?" She asks.
Mal turns to her. "What makes you think we got in a fight?"
She looks at him, confused. "Don't you fight with Alliance supporters every U-day?" She asks, making the others laugh.
In the infirmary, River lies on the table, asleep.
River is strapped to a chair as she is experimented on.
River's eyes snap open and she screams, jumping off the table.
"River?" Simon asks. She kneels against a wall and cries. "River, it's okay, it's me." She continues crying, covering her ears. "You know who I am?"
She looks at him, annoyed. "Simon."
"Were you dreaming?" He asks as she stands up. "Did you dream about the Academy?"
"It's not relevent."
"If you can talk about what happened there, and I know it's hard but, the more I know, the faster you'll get better."
"This isn't home." She says quietly.
"No. No, we can't go home. If we go home, they'll just send you back to the Academy. This is safer now." He says. She shakes her head, an upset look on her face. "We're on a ship." He smiles.
River looks around. "Midbook Transport. Standard radio and accelerator core. Class code 03-K64; Firefly."
Mal walks in. "Well, that's somethin'. I can't even remember all that." He walks over to the sink and begins to wash his hands.
"Need a weave on that?" Simon asks.
"It's nothin'."
"I expect there's someone's face feels differently."
"Well, they tell ya, never hit a man with a closed fist, but it is on occasion hilarious." He dries his hands.
"I suppose so. So the, ah, the fight…" He looks over at River. "Didn't um, draw any, umm, any attention."\
"No Feds. Just an honest brawl between folks. Ain't none of us wanted the Alliance on us, Doctor, that's why you're here."
"I thought I was here because you needed a medic."
"Well, not today." He leaves.
River stares after him. "Mal, bad. In the Latin."
Mal sees Book in the hallway. "Shepherd Book."
"Captain! How's the girl?" Book asks.
"Just a little whimsical in the brainpan. Seems calm enough though." They see River freaking out in the infirmary.
"That young man's very brave."
"Yeah. He's my hero." He says sarcastically.
"Gave up everything to free his sister from that place. Go from being a doctor on the Central Planets to hiding on the fringes of the system. There's not many would do that."
"Suppose not." Mal starts to leave.
"Not many would take them in, either." Book says, making Mal stop. "Why did you?"
"Same reason I took you on board, Shepherd. I need the fare." Mal continues walking.
Book laughs and begins to follow him. "There's neither of can pay a tenth what your crew makes on one of your 'jobs'."
"Are you referring to our perfectly legitimate business enterprises?"
"I'm wondering why a man so anxious to fly under Alliance radar would house known fugitives. The Alliance had her in that institution for a purpose, whatever it was, and they will want her back. You're not overly fond of the boy, so why risk it?"
"Only 'cause it's the right thing to do." Mal says in mock seriousness. He looks around the messy engine room. "Oh, would you look at this? Kaylee!" He calls.
They continue walking. "I begin to wonder if you yourself know why you're doing it."
"Well what about you, Shepherd? How come you're flying about with us brigands? I mean, shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the fuzzy-wuzzies or some such?"
"Oh, I've got heathens aplenty right here."
"If I'm your mission, Shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my boat, God ain't." Mal walks.
"Where the hell's that girl?" Mal mutter to himself.
In Inara's shuttle, the companion brushes Kaylee's hair. "Do you want me to put it up?"
"No, that's okay." Kaylee says.
"You have such lovely hair. I'm sure the Doctor would agree."
"Who? Simon? No, he's much too, I mean I'm just…do you think it looks better up?"
"We can experiment. We might even get wild later and wash your face."
"Do you ever do this for your clients?"
"Very occasionally. Not all of them have enough hair to get a brush through."
"Have you ever had to service a really hideous client? With boils and the like?"
"A Companion chooses her own clients, that's Guild law. But physical appearance doesn't matter so terribly. You look for a compatibility of spirit. There's an energy about a person that's difficult to hide, you try to feel that-"
Mal walks in and interrupts. "And then you try to feel the energy of their credit account. It has a sort of aura."
Inara glares at him. "What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?"
"That it was manly and impulsive?"
"Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was 'don't'."
"Well, you're holding my mechanic in thrall. And Kaylee, what the hell's goin' on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?"
"I had to rewire the grav thrust because somebody won't replace that crappy compression coil." She says.
"Well get the place squared away. It's dangerous in there, and I ain't paying you to get your hair played at."
"Kuh ooh duh lao bao jurn." Kaylee groans before standing and leaving the shuttle.
"We work before we play." He tells her.
He turns and watches Inara collect her tea set. "You're servicing crew now?"
"In your lonely, pathetic dreams. What do you want?" Inara asks.
"We have a job."
"Congratulations. This job wouldn't be on a decently civilized planet where I could screen some respectable clients perhaps?"
"Respectable clients, it seems a contradiction-"
"Don't start." They share a tense look.
"There's, um…we haven't gotten a location yet. We'll be landing on the Skyplex in a bit. Run by a fellow called Niska."
"Never heard of him."
"Well I have. While we're there, you'll stay confined to the ship."
"Is the petty criminal perchance ashamed to be riding with a Companion?"
"This guy has a very unlovely rep." He tells her, serious. "He's got work for me, fine. But I don't…" He trails off. "I'm not sure you'd be safe."
She smiles. "Mal, if you're being a gentleman, I may die of shock."
He grunts and bows before walking off. He's almost out of the shuttle when he turns around. "Have you got time to do my hair?"
"Out." She says.
In a skyplex, a muscular man with tattoos opens the door. Mal, Zoe, and Jayne stand in the threshold.
"He's fine." An old, German man; Niska says. "Crow, they can come in. And Malcolm Reynolds is which?"
"I'm Captain Reynolds. My First Mate Zoe, this is Jayne." Mal introduces.
"Very nice. I am Adelai Niska. You have seen Crow. He likes to stand at the door to say 'Boo!'"
"We got word you might have a job for us."
Niska stands from his seat. "Yes! Yes, an exciting job. A train has, eh, something I need. You have worked a train before?"
"We did a few."
"Are you going to ask me what it is I need?"
"As a rule, no."
"Yes. Good! You have reputation! Malcolm Reynolds gets it done is the talk."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that."
"You know what is reputation? Is people talking. Is gossip. I also have reputation. And not so pleasant I think you know. Crow?" Corw opens a door, revealing a man hanging by his feet, badly tortured. "Now for you, my reputation is not from gossip. You see this man. Eh, he does not do the job. I show what I do him, and now my reputation for you is fact, is solid. You do the train job for me, then you are solid. No more gossip."
"Right." Mal says, keeping his face straight.
"Ooh. You do not like I kill this man."
"Oh, no. I'm sure he was a very bad person."
"My wife's nephew. At dinner, I'm getting earful. There is no way out of that. So, oh! The train job. Come here!" He beckons them over. "Here, in fifth car, two boxes. Alliance goods. You don't mind taking from Alliance I think. From your reputation? You get on Train at Hancock, headed for Paradiso. You take boxes off, before you reach Paradiso, and deliver to Crow." He points to a spot on the display, which lights up. "Here. Half money now, Crow give you other half money at rendezvous point. Anything goes wrong, then, your reputation, only gossip, and things between us, not so solid. Yes?"
Mal and Zoe are seated in a train car. "How long till we hit Paradiso?" He asks.
"Another twenty minutes. We should be in the foothills in five." She answers.
"Best get to work." They stand up.
"He's a psycho you know. Niska."
"He's not the first psycho to hire us, nor the last. You think that's a commentary on us?"
"I just have an image in my head of a guy hanging from the ceiling."
"I've got an image of it not being me. Let's do the thing." The door to the car opens and a large group a Feds filter in. "Hi."
Inara enters the galley and sees Book reading his bible. "Shepherd."
"Good day. So, how do you think it's going?" He asks.
"The caper? Mal knows what he's doing."
"How long have you known him?"
"I've been on this ship eight months now. I'm not sure I'll ever actually know the Captain."
"I'm surprised a respectable Companion would sail with this crew."
"It's not always this sort of work. They take the jobs they can get, even legitimate ones. The further you get away from the Central Planets, the harder things are, so this is part of it."
"I wish I could help." Inara looks confused. "I mean, I don't wanna…not help help, not with the thieving, but…I do feel awfully useless."
"You could always pray they make it back safely."
"I don't think the Captain would much like me praying for him."
"Don't tell him." Inara pours water into a teakettle. "I never do."
Trinity lies in her bunk, hands behind her head. She glares at the ceiling. How did she know? She thinks. She combs through the memories of her childhood but can't find River in any of them. What does she know about my mother?
Flashback
Alec Clairborn runs through the streets, his daughter in his arms.
"What about mommy?" Trinity cries.
Alec stops, panting and sets Trinity down. He crouches. "I need you to do what daddy says, okay." Trinity nods, tears in her eyes. "You remember how we exercise? We go running?" Trinity nods. "Remember how sometimes we stop and play hide and seek?" Again, Trinity nods. "Well we're going to play right now. I want you to run as fast as you can and hide. You have to choose a really good place to hide. No one can find you, okay?" Trinity nods. Alec takes her into his arms and kisses her hair. "I love you. Mommy and Daddy love you so much." He releases her. "I'm going to turn around and count to ten. You run real fast and hide in the best place you can think of, okay? Don't stop, no matter what happens, no matter what you here, okay?" Trinity nods. Alec takes a deep breath and stands up, turning around. "One…two."
Trinity turns around and runs out of the alley. She stumbles when she hears a gun shot and looks back. Tears flood her eyes and she continues to run.
Present
Trinity sits up, pushing her shiny black hair out of her face.
Zoe and Mal walk to a different train car. "Sir, is there some information we might maybe be lacking as to why there's an entire Fed squad sitting on this train?" She asks urgently.
"Doesn't concern us." He says.
"It kinda concerns me."
"I mean they're not protecting the goods. If they were, they wouldn't be letting people past 'em."
"You don't think that changes the situation a bit?"
"I surely do. Makes it more fun."
"Sir? I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."
"Come on. We stick to the plan. We get the goods, we're back on Serenity before the train even reaches Paradiso, only now we do it under the noses of twenty trained Alliance Feds. And that makes 'em look all manner of stupid. Hell, this job I would pull for free."
"Can I have your share?" Zoe asks amused.
"No."
"If you die, can I have your share?"
"Yes."
Simon walks into the cargo hold and sees Kaylee. "Hey."
"Oh! Hey, Doctor." She smiles.
"You really should just call me Simon."
"Oh, I'll do that, then."
"So, what are we doing?"
"Oh! Crime." She answers casually.
"Crime?" He says before nodding. "Good. Okay, crime."
"It's a train heist. See, we fly over the train car. The Captain and Zoe sneak in, we lower Jayne onto the car, and they bundle up the booty, and we haul 'em all back up. Easy as lyin'."
"They've done this before?"
She laughs. "Hell no. But I think it's gonna work. The Captain's jen duh sh tyen tsai when it comes to plans."
"Uh, well, uh…is there anything I can…something I should be doing?"
Jayne walks up from behind him. "Stayin' the hell outta everyone's way."
"There's no call to be snappy, Jayne." Kaylee chides.
"You about to jump on a movin' train? Captain ain't around. I'm in charge."
"Since when?"
"And just cause Mal say's you're Medic, don't make you part of the crew." None of them sees River, who sits on the catwalk. "You just, play at figurin' what's wrong with that moon-brained sister of yours till we call for ya. Dong ma?"
"Right." Simon says before walking off.
Kaylee glares at Jayne. "You shouldn't be so rude to him."
"Why? Cause he's all rich and fancible?" He asks as a rope lowers.
"He's not rich. The Alliance crashed his accounts when he snuck out his sister."
"Well, we could all be rich if we handed her back."
"You're not even thinking that."
"Mal is."
"That's not funny."
"He ain't stupid. Why would he bring on trouble like those two if there weren't no profit in it?" He asks a Kaylee locks the rope onto him. "Captain's got a move he ain't made yet, you'll see." He pulls out a hat with floppy ears and a chin strap. "Time for some thrilling heroics."
River stands up and walks away. After a little while, she reaches the bunks. She stops at one and lightly glides her fingers along the hatch before knocking. She steps back and waits until it opens.
Trinity climbs out and looks at her in a mixture of confusion and suspicion. "What are you doing here? What do you want?"
"I like the melodies."
"I'm not playing any music so there's nothing for you here." Trinity goes to turn around but River grabs her wrist.
"Please." She says softly.
Trinity looks at her for a moment before sighing. "Fine." She climbs down into her bunk, River climbs down after her. Once inside, Trinity waves her arm out. "Welcome to my humble abode." She says sarcastically. River walks through the small space. She reaches out towards the weapons cabinet but Trinity grabs her wrist. "That's off limits." She leads River away. "Let's stay away from that." River sits on the bed and begins humming again. "How do you know that song?" Trinity asks. "Who sang it to you?"
River looks at Trinity. "You were running. You were running for so long before he found you."
Trinity leans in, looking into River's eyes. "What do you know?" She asks lowly. River sees the anger in the girl's eyes and begins to whimper. Trinity's eyes widen. "No. No, no, please don't cry." Tears well in River's eyes. "River, I am begging you, please do not cry."
"They wanted to know. I couldn't tell them." River begins to rant but Trinity covers her mouth.
"Shh. Shh." Trinity thinks for a moment. "Melodies, melodies. You like music. Um…" She racks her brain for a song and finds one. Suddenly River begins to calm. Trinity looks at her, confused.
"You and I'll be safe and sound…" River sings.
Trinity's eyes widen in realization. "You're a reader." She says. River stops singing. "That's how you knew about the song, that's why you keep talking about gorram melodies. You're listening to whatever's stuck in my head." River's breathing speeds up as she begins to panic. "Calm down." River shakes her head. "I won't tell anybody." Trinity says softly. River sends her a confused look. "My parents were killed. I don't know why, I just know that it was the Alliance that did it. They seem to want you so bad…I'll gladly do whatever I can to screw over them over. So I won't tell anybody. Okay?" After a moment River nods. Trinity sighs in relief. "Now…just don't cry anymore okay? If you start to freak out, I'll just think of a song. If that doesn't work, I'll just get your brother." She takes a seat next to River and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a deck of cards. "Want to play?"
Mal swipes a card through a reader. "Niska's sources better be good." The door opens.
"Shiny." Zoe says.
A fed stands up and walks towards the car that Zoe and Mal are breaking into.
Mal pulls a box to the middle of the car, stands on it, and starts unscrewing a roof panel. "Find the cargo."
Zoe pulls a sheet off of two black boxes with red labels. "All hail the great Alliance."
Serenity moves over the train, approaching from the rear. The hatch opens and Jayne puts on his goggles. He drops through the hatch and lands on the train with a grunt.
Mal pulls off the panel, making an opening for Jayne.
At the sound, the fed cocks his gun.
Jayne drops through the hole and Mal pats him on the back. They start loading the cargo.
"Fifteen seconds." Mal says into the com.
Kaylee waits in the cargo hold.
The fed enters the car only for a smoke trap to go off. He fires his gun, hitting Jayne in the leg.
Zoe looks at Jayne. "Gorram!"
"GO! Go now!" Jayne yells into his com.
Kaylee begins to reeling him up.
Mal knocks the fed out and throws him to the ground. He turns to Zoe. "Come on!" They run through the cars.
Serenity flies away. In the cargo hold, Jayne collapses.
Mal throws a smoke bomb into the car. People cover their eyes and cough as he and Zoe hide amongst the crowd.
"Where are the others?" Kaylee asks.
"Ah!" Jayne grunts. "They shot my gorram leg."
"Jayne, are they still on the train? Are they gonna be okay?"
The train stops, smoke coming from it. "Everybody off. Everybody in there okay?" The driver asks over the com.
"You're cheating!" Trinity says in disbelief. River shakes her head, a smile on her face. "There's no way you can win six times in a row without cheating."
"Nǐ shìgè shū bù qǐ de rén."
"Whatever." Trinity scoffs. "Losing that many times would make anyone a sore loser." She stands up. "Let's go check on everyone else. See if the job went right."
In the small, dusty town of Paradiso, Mal and Zoe stand a way's off, eavesdropping on a nearby conversation.
"Our man didn't get a look." A fed says.
"Well, Jesus, can somebody find out what they took?" The sheriff asks. He turns to a man in the crowd. "Handy! Keep those people together."
A deputy walks up. "It's the medicine, sir. All of the supplies." She tells him.
"They stole the gorram medicine?" He asks. Mal and Zoe have grim looks on their faces. "We've been waitin'…all of it?"
"Every ounce." They look over at the tearful townspeople.
"God help us."
"Son of a bitch." Mal curses.
On an Alliance ship, an officer walks into a station at the sound of an alert. He turns to an ensign. "What's the fuss?"
"All network alert. Cargo theft. Medical shipment lifted off a train in the Georgia System en route to Paradiso." The ensign explains.
He looks at the alert screen. "Six crates of Pasceline D. Right. That'll get you a tidy fortune on the black market." He says in a dismissive tone. "Tag it received, bounce it back. Locals can deal with it."
"Sir, there is a regiment holding in Paradiso. They were on the train, headed for the installation." She says.
"Then get them back on the train and get it moving. Who's holding them there?"
"The Sheriff requested we deploy a few to help them investigate-"
"These are federal marshals, not local narcotic hounds." He says, impatient. "They've got better things to do, so do we." He leaves.
In the infirmary, Jayne sits on the table with an angry look on his face. "Gorram it, let's get us moving."
"Now, I'm not, I'm not finished." Simon says, working on him.
"Why are you parked here? This ain't the go tsao de rendezvous spot."
"It is now." Wash says.
"That's cause people are waitin', they ain't partial to waitin'."
"Let 'em read a magazine." Wash says in a sarcastic yet firm tone. "We don't make the sale until Mal and Zoe are back on the boat."
"These are stone killers, little man. They ain't cuddly like me."
"She'll be okay. She's with the Captain." Kaylee says, nervouse.
Jayne begins to stand up. "There, you see? Everybody wins." He tries to put weight on his leg and screams in pain. Book and Trinity stand by and watch the scene. "Doc, I need a pop to quiet this pain some."
Simon goes to get some medication. "All right, but what about the authorities?" He asks, concerned. "I mean, we're sitting here with stolen Alliance goods. Won't they be looking for us?"
"They buzz this canyon; we'll hear them long before they ever see us." Wash says. "I figure we're good for-"
"Won't stop." River interrupts from her seat on a nearby bed. "Won't ever stop. They'll just keep coming until they get back what you took. Two by two, hands of blue. Two by two, hands of blue." She mutters to herself.
Jayne glares at her. "How's about you shut that crazy mouth? Is that a fun game?" He turns to everyone else. "Now I'm in ruttin' charge here, and I'm tellin' you how it works. We don't get the goods to Niska on time, he'll make meat pies out of the lot of us. And I ain't walkin' into that."
"Is this Adelai Niska you're talking about?" Book asks.
Jayne looks at him as Simon injects him with medicine. "Now how would a Shepherd know a name like that?"
"As I've heard it, he made a deal with the Captain. If the Captain's not there to finish it, if Niska finds out he's being held, and may speak as to who hired him…I think we're better off being a little late."
Mal and Zoe are huddled together in a holding area for the train passengers. They look at the sick people. "This is a nightmare." He says.
"Nothing points to us yet, sir." She tells him.
"That ain't what I'm talking about. Whatever happens, remember I love you."
"Sir?" She asks, confused.
"Because you're my wife." He says, a plan in mind.
"Right. Sir. Honey." She says, albeit a little awkward.
The sheriff walks up, paperwork in his hands. "Car 3, Row 12, Mr. and Mrs. Ring?"
Mal looks at him. "Can you tell us what's going on? We've been here for so long. Did someone on the train get killed?"
"No, no, no. Nothing like that. Ah, says there your fare's paid for by a third party?"
Mal and Zoe stand, following the sheriff to his desk. "My uncle. It was a wedding gift."
"Wedding gift?" He motions for the 'couple' to sit down. "Spending your honeymoon in Paradiso?"
"Actually, we're here lookin' for work." Zoe says.
"That right?" He asks, skeptical.
"My uncle said he knew a Joey Bloggs out here, said he might have an opening. Thought we'd try our luck." Mal tells him.
"You a miner by trade? Either of you?"
"Not really."
"Hmm. You don't see many choose this life weren't born to it."
"Well, work is real scarce for a couple just starting out." Zoe speaks.
Mal looks around before looking back to the Sheriff. "How come there's so many sick here?"
"Bowden's Malady. Know what that is?" The Sheriff asks.
Zoe nods. "Affliction of the bone and muscle. Degenerative."
"Very. Every planet that's been terraformed for human life has its own little quirks. Turns out the, uh, air down underground, mixed up with the ore processors is a recipe for Bowden's. Everybody gets it. Miners, dumpers. Hell, I got it, I ain't never set foot in a mine."
"But it's treatable?"
"There's medicine. Pasceline. Means you can live like a person, you get it regular. But our shipment got stole, right off the train you was riding in. Which is why you won't be seeing a parade in town today."
"Stolen? Well, didn't I see a whole regiment of fine young Alliance Federals on the train?" Mal asks.
The Sheriff nods. "You did. Same regiment let our medicine get swiped right under their noses, then took off for their own camp without so much as a whoopsy daisy."
"That sounds like the Alliance. Unite all the planets under one rule so that everybody can be interfered with or ignored equally."
The Sheriff stands up and gets a cup of coffee before returning. "Alliance ain't much use to us out here on the border planets. But…they ain't the ones that stole the medicine. I ever find those people, they ain't ever going to see the inside of a jail. I'm just gonna toss 'em in a mine, let 'em breathe deep for the rest of their lives."
"Can't argue with that."
"Ah. You mind telling me when it was you last spoke to Joey Bloggs?"
"Never did myself.
"Right. Your uncle. It was indicated to you that, uh, Joey had an opening?"
"Any job would do." Mal says.
"It's funny your uncle never went to mentioning theBowden's problem. Or that Joey Bloggs ate his own gun, about eight months back."
Mal's eyes widen. "Did he?"
"Yep. Blew the back of his head right off."
Mal pauses for a moment. "So…would his job be open?"
Jayne limps up the stairs to where Kaylee, Wash, and Trinity are sitting. "That's it! We've waited long enough. Let's get this bird in the air."
Wash shakes his head. "No rutting way."
Simon walks behind Jayne. "You really should sit down." He urges.
"You can't just leave the Captain and Zoe here." Trinity says.
"They ain't comin', we can't walk in there and get 'em, so they're done. Now let's fire it up."
Inara and Book walk in. "What's going on?" She asks.
Jayne turns to them. "Strap in, we're takin' off."
"We're not." Wash says.
"Captain'd do the same if it was one of us."
"Not in a million years!" Kaylee says.
Jayne glares at her. "Shove it."
"Listen to me!" Wash yells.
Jayne looks at him. "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here. Now we're finishing this deal, and then maybe maybe we'll come back for those morons who got themselves caught." He begins to breath heavily. "You can't change that by getting all…bendy?"
Everyone looks at him, confused. "All what?" Wash asks.
"You've got the light… from the console…keep you, lift you up. They shine like…" He tries to catch the light with his hands. "Little angels." Suddenly he falls to the ground, unconscious.
Wash looks at Jayne before looking up. "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"
"I told him to sit down." Simon says.
"You doped him." Kaylee says, a mixture of awe and disbelief in her voice.
"It was supposed to kick in a good deal sooner. I, I just didn't feel comfortable with him in charge. I hope…hope that's all right." He looks at the crew, who look at him with approval.
"So. How do we get the others?" Book asks.
"Jayne was right about them not making contact. Chances are, they got pinched getting off that train." Wash says.
"We can't just waltz in and pull them out." Kaylee says and Trinity nods in agreement.
"Someone respectable enough might be able to." Book tells them and looks to Inara.
Inara walks into the holding area, a rich, red satin dress flowing with every step she takes.
Mal sees her. "What the hell?"
She smacks him. "Don't you dare speak to me." She turns to the Sheriff. "Sheriff, I want this man bound by law at once. That's assuming he hasn't been already?"
He shakes his head. "No one's been bound, not yet."
"Thank God you stopped them." She turns to Mal. "Did you honestly think you could access my accounts and I wouldn't find you? And Zoe, what would your husband say if he knew you were here?"
"I…" Zoe looks down, feigning shame. "I was weak."
"So I take it they ain't newlyweds?" The Sheriff says.
"Hardly. Malcolm's my indentured man, with three years left on his debt." Inara explains. "I imagine we'll have to add another six months after this little adventure."
Sheriff sees all the men, who stare at Inara in awe. "You'll have to pardon them. Don't think a one of 'em's ever seen a registered Companion before."
"I apologize for my manner."
"Oh, not a bit."
"Should I contact my ship? Do you need to hold them very much longer?"
"Looks to me like we're about done here. I, uh. We had some unrelated trouble. His story had kind of an odor to it."
"Yes, it's not the only thing about him that does. Thank you, very much Sheriff." She turns to Mal and Zoe. "Come along." They walk away.
The Sheriff and his deputy watch after them. "That's one hell of a lady. Her files were all in order?"
"I ran 'em twice." She says.
"Hmm. Let's get started with the rest then."
Inara steps out of her shuttle, Mal and Zoe follow after her.
"How'd it go?" Trinity asks.
Mal points at Inara. "She hit me."
Wash hugs Zoe. They see Jayne on the stairs.
"We tried to get him into the infirmary, he's just heavy." Kaylee explains.
"Captain, I've got the engine running, we're good to go." Wash says.
"We're not going." Mal says.
"Not? What? Not why?"
"We're bringin' the cargo back." Zoe tells them.
"Wha?" Jayne slurs. "Whadda mean back? I waited for you guys!"
"What are you talking about? What about Niska? Won't this put him in more or less a killing mood?" Wash asks.
Mal and Zoe grab the cargo. "There's others need this more." He says.
"Let's get it on the mule." Zoe says.
"My shuttle's faster." Inara speaks.
Mal shakes his head. "You already risked enough flying in there once. And…I don't wanna get slapped around no more. Far as Niska goes, we'll just have to explain to him the job went south when we return the money."
"You wanna explain, now's your chance." Wash says. They look towards the dock to see Crow with two others of Niska's behind him.
Crow glares at them. "You didn't make the rendezvous."
"Ran into a few complications." Mal tells him.
"You were thinking of taking Mr. Niska's money and his property, maybe."
"Ah, interestingly, neither."
"I don't understand."
"Yeah, look. Here's what it is. Deal's off." He says but Crow is still confused. "We changed our minds."
"You entered into an arrangement with Mr. Niska. There is no mind changing."
Mal gives a nervous laugh. "I'm afraid that's where you're wrong. We just…we can't take this job, so you just relax. We'll get you all the money Niska gave us up front, you return it to him, and we'll call it even."
Crow shakes his head. "There is no even."
"Is that right?"
Crow throws a knife, hitting Mal in the shoulder. Zoe draws her gun, as do the thugs. Trinity takes out small daggers and launches them at the thugs. One ducks out of the way and the knife bounces of the wall. The other dagger hits a thug in the thigh. Crow attacks Mal while Wash uses the mull to run over a thug. A shot rings out and Crow is hit in the kneecap.
Mal looks at Jayne. "Nice shot."
"I was aiming for his head." Jayne slurs.
That night, Mal and Zoe make it back to Paradiso. "We'll have to drag 'em from here. Leave 'em just off the street. We'll notify the Sheriff when we're in deep, deep space." He says.
"Why not tell him in person?" The Sheriff says. He and his men are armed.
Mal looks at him. "Didn't expect to be comin'."
The Sheriff's crew inspects the cargo. "Nothin' missing." The deputy tells him.
Sheriff looks at Mal in disbelief before smiling. "You were truthful back in town. These are tough times. If a man can get a job, he might not look too close at what that job is. But a man learns all the details of a situation like ours, well, then he has a choice."
"I don't believe he does." Mal says in a serious tone and they share a look.
The Sheriff turns to the crew. "Get these crates back to town. Make yourselves useful."
Crow is on his knees with his hands tied behind his back.
"Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance. You bring it back to him, tell him the job didn't work out." Mal explains. Crow spits at his shoes. "We're not thieves… but we are thieves. Point is we're not takin' what's his. Now we'll stay out of his way the best we can from here on in. You explain that that's best for everyone, okay?"
Crow stands. "Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn't matter where you go, or how far you fly. I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my blade."
"Darn." Mal says before kicking Crow into the engine intakes. A second one of Niska's henchmen is brought bound before him. "Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance."
The man nods eagerly. "Oh, I'm good. I speak for everyone. I'm right there with you."
Simon is stitching up Mal's shoulder. "You should have let me do this sooner."
"I have had plenty worse it's just-ouch!"
"Sorry."
"Just be careful. Pretty fast thinkin', doping up Jayne. Can't say you've made a lifetime friend."
"I'll deal with him."
"Yeah, I'm not too worried about you." He says. "How's your sister?"
"The same. One moment she seems perfectly cogent, the next…she speaks nonsense, like a child. So difficult to diagnose. And I still don't know what the government was trying to do with her, so I have no idea if they succeeded."
In the next room, River is curled in the corner of her room. "Two by two, hands of blue. Two by two, hands of blue…"
Back on the Alliance ship, the officer walks into a room. He see two men in suits and blue gloves. "Sorry to keep you waiting. There's always one crisis-"
"We're not interested. We're here about a theft." One of the men says.
"The medicine, on that planet. Word came up that was returned."
"We didn't fly 86 million miles to track down a box of band-aids, Colonel." The other man says.
"We're looking for a girl." The man takes out a photo of River and slides it across the desk. "This girl."
Trinity hears knocking on her bunk door. She rubs her eyes and groggily walks to the hatch and opens it. She's River climb down. "What are you doing here? You should be asleep."
"Couldn't."
"Well I can." Trinity says. "And I'm going to, so go back to bed." She walks back over to her bed and lies down. She opens her eyes and sees River standing over her. "Go to bed." River crawls in next to her. Trinity sits up. "Not what I mean. Go back to your dorm, Simon would shīqùle lǐzhì if he wakes up and you're not there."
"Don't make me leave." River pleads.
Trinity sighs. "You need to be back in your dorm before he wakes up. Okay?" River nods. Trinity lies down and turns away. "Now go to sleep."