Shinji of Gaul
Ch.3
I OWN NOTHING!
Shinji was in open mouth shock. "WHAT!!!!!!" He bellowed at what Misato had just told him.
"Because your still a minor, only 14, and I have been appointed as your guardian, besides I don't think you and your father would get along all that well." was Misato's answer.
Shinji wanted to scream 'Ah'm 16 dammit! Ah've been a man foor a year!' but was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, it had only been 10 years since he left Japan on this side but he had lived with the Arverni for 12. Mentioning that would only make them think he was crazy though he had the feeling they already did though he didn't know why. Shinji openly snorted at her second comment; if that wasn't the understatement of the year then he was a Sodomizing Greek! Which he thought in the corner of his mind his father with his whiskers did strongly resemble. He chuckled darkly in the back of his mind as he thought about earlier that day.
After the fight with the Angel, Shinji had gone back down under the city to the geofront. He had come out of the Entry plug and was welcomed by the cries of cheering by the whole of the NERV staff or almost. The first thing Shinji had done was find Gendo and say, "Firs bit oov paybach!" Then he decked the smaller man in the face with a terrifying haymaker that sent the man flying 12 feet through the air and slammed hard into a wall behind him.
He turned to the NERV staff in general and asked, "Tha' knife woz noice boot Ah need soomthin' better then tha' iffen Ah'm goin t'keep oon a doin this. An axe iffen ye can." After seeing that monstrous strength Shinji displayed nobody was going to argue with the young juggernaut.
Shinji was later told that he was going to stay with Misato, which brings us back to our current situation. "Ah doan ken whoi ye think Ah'm goin' t'stay? Ah joost came t'knock tha' bastard's teeth oot." While Misato, Ritsuko and the bridge technicians were staring in abject horror, Gendo decided to come back to the group with Fuyutsuki supporting him. His face a mess with two black eyes, a broken nose and what looked like chipped and loose teeth. Shinji noticed his father and the old man from before come in, then smiled a scary snarl. "Acourse Ah could be made t'change mah mind iffen ah c'n be compensated foor mah services."
While those in Central Dogma didn't recognize the grin, any foreign merchant who had met him would have ran for his life and involuntarily check his purse and stock. Gendo didn't have that experience and dumbly, in the before mentioned merchants unasked opinion, asked, "What would you ask for?" Fool! You are a fool! Those merchants would scream.
"That was incredible! I've never seen anyone fleece Commander Ikari like that!" Misato said as they headed for topside. In the end Shinji had gotten a salary that was six times that of Misato, private hunting grounds outside of the city, with a promise for it to be stocked with a prerequisite list of fallow deer, elk, wild boar and bear, five pairs of horses and two chariots designed according to his specific requirements.
As he grinned at the remembered look on the whole bridge's face when Gendo had agreed to his final offer with the look on his face that he had come out on top of that deal, Misato tapped his shoulder and asked him, "Hey before we go home I wanted to show you something.
Shinji nodded and they jumped back into the car. Misato roared out of the geofront with Shinji shrieking the whole time at one point howling, "Dammit woman! We're nae oonder attack! Whut's with troin t'get oose killed!!!"
One heart attack ride later brought Shinji and Misato to a hill outside the city and viewing the sunset. "Soo whut is it ye want me t'see?" Shinji asked her as they sat on the hill side.
"Any minute now." She said then at that moment a siren went off and the towers of Tokyo-3 started to rise back out from the ground. Shinji could only stare in open shock at how the city seemed to grow from the ground. Misato grinned at his opened eye shock. "Yep this is Tokyo-3, the fortress city that is the best hope for humanity, this is what we defend."
Shinji looked out at the city watching as the sun continued to set over the hills. Deep in his soul he felt the beauty of the land around Tokyo-3 and turned to Misato and said, "Could ye pardon me foor, a second, Ah need tae get soomthn' oot oov mah pack. He walked over to Misato's car and grabbed the pack. It looked like a simple pack about the size of a school backpack and tied shut with a piece of rope. He undid the rope and reached in. Misato's eyes bugged when out of the pack was pulled a bagpipe, an honest to truth bagpipe!
He set the thing up and started filling the thing with air, a low drone could be heard from it. After a while he stopped then taking a large breath of air he started playing the thing. A high mourning sound was heard from it. Its sound was one of beauty and sorry, one of spirit and hope, the sound of a people who has suffered much but refused to die and fall into the darkness with despair, refused to stop fighting. Though it was not a part of her heritage, she felt something of a connection to the song.
When the sun went behind the hills Shinji stopped playing and put it back into the pack. He turned to Misato and said. "We ready t'goo bach t'yoor hoome?"
She nodded and went back to the car and they went off to the city with Shinji bellowing expletives that would make a trucker blush.
When they reached her apartment Shinji was once again asking himself why he was willing to deal with this mad woman's driving. At that moment Misato happened to do a few toe touches and stretch her arms behind her back to get a few kinks out and Shinji was instantly reminded.
They reached the apartment and Misato opened the door and Shinji's jaw dropped in horror. There were used eating containers, drinks cans which gave the smell of weak beer were everywhere. He even saw women's undergarments hanging off of places they weren't supposed to be. Misato happened to say, "I'm sorry. It's a little messy."
'Little messy?!!! LITTLE MESSY?!!!' Who could have hidden a whole damn legion camp in the damn thing! From what he knew of Roman war camps, any Centurion worth his crest would have been had a brain aneurism from raised blood-pressure. He looked into one of the cold food containers, more cans of beer! While he could drink anyone and anything under the table, (out drinking a bull. Good Times there man.) the fact that she drank this rat piss was appalling. You drank spirits for more than just getting drunk which was all this shit was good for! The other one, he asked why he had it but her only answer was, "Oh he's just sleeping." Whatever that meant!
She grabbed one out of the fridge and chugged it down at a rapid rate. "Whooee! That hit the spot!" Shinji looked at her chugging ability with a master's disdain for a mildly skilled novice. He grabbed a small pitcher that looked relatively clean from her cabinet, grabbed six of her beers, opened them and poured them into the pitcher. "Hey what are you doi-…?" She shut up and her eyes bugged because Shinji had just opened his mouth, and dumped the whole pitcher down his throat in the same time Misato took to empty her one and never spilled a drop! He didn't even seem to swallow, just let the beer pour down his gullet.
She stared in shock when Shinji shook the empty pitcher upside down to shake out the drops and then snorted, "Hmmph, tha woz' th' nastiest rrrat piss Ah've ivver had t'misfortune t'have slither doone me gullet!" He then tossed the pitcher into the already overloaded sink while Misato could only stare trying to process what she had just seen. Shinji was heading for the bathing room to get the stink of that LCL garbage off of him when he met Penpen. Man and penguin stared at each other then the penguin walked on past him and grabbed a beer from the fridge and jumped into the other. Shinji just stared for a moment then shook his head and walked on into the bathroom.
Shinji came out of the bathroom later on and smelled something ridiculously strong and spicy. He looked in to the kitchen to see abominations on plates along with cans of beer for beverages. Misato waved to Shinji and said, "Come on Shinji. Let's eat."
Shinji ran out of the room screaming five minutes later and Misato found him with his head under a bathtub of cold water. She was a little indignant at his reaction to her cooking and she shrieked "What's the matter with you? I worked hard on that Beef and Curry!"
He pulled his head out of the bath and bellowed, "Dammit! Fergit th' Evas, joost use yer damn cooking an' ye could kill 'em instantly!"
The arguing went on into the night. The own thing agreed upon by the end of the night it was that they were getting a damn cleaning service for the place as Shinji refused to live like this and neither of them were cleaning savvy. He also said he would pay for it if she promised never to cook again. He also said that if he could get some proper meat and a place for an open fire he could cook at least part of the time.
The next day, "An academy?!!" Shinji shouted at her. "Ah'm a monster killer. Whoi by Teutatus do Ah haf t' goo t' any academy?!!"
"Sorry Shinji, this is Japan, you go to school or work unless you are declared dead." Misato answered.
Later on found the students in a certain junior high classroom staring in shock at the hulk of a man stand in front of the class, dressed in all of his barbarian splendor, (there wasn't a school uniform big enough to fit him) saying, "Mornin' t'ye. Ah'm Shinji Arverni, mah father sent foor me t' 'elp 'im wit his business." Shinji had declared that he would flat out refuse to use his father's name on anything involving him and had demanded that he use this odd name. Most of the NERV staff had looked up Arverni and what they came up with caused more confusion instead of clearing it up. What did a Celtic tribe from over 2000 years ago have to do with anything involving Shinji?
As he took his seat Shinji lounged in the slightly too small chair that he was made to sit in. Around him he heard the buzz of the classroom. "Who is he?" "Is he really 14?" "Did you see the tattoos on him?" "Is he Yakuza?" "Damn he looks strong!" "What's with his name?" "Is he really Japanese with a name like that?" "He sure doesn't look Japanese." "Even with all the tattoos, I think he's pretty cute!" "Wha-?!!" "Hey anybody seen Toji?" "Can't say I have Kensuke."
Shinji just ignored the peanut gallery and made to take a nap during the dull lecture of the instructor, damn this guy could be used for interrogation, two minutes with this old fart's droning and even the most hard-boiled bastard would be singing. When the bell rung Shinji was tapped awake the class rep, whatever the hell that was!
"Hey Arverni! What's with you sleeping in class today?" The freckled girl said giving the tattooed oaf her semi-patented glare. Shinji took one look at her then got out of the chair then rose to his full height and gave her a GLARE his own. Hikari Horaiki all but wet herself and missed that only barely.
He then let go of the glare, shrugged and said, "Sawry, I joost didnae get mooch sleep lawst noight." He then walked out of the classroom, whistling some strange tune. Hikari was let thinking, 'Who the hell is this guy?!!!'
A/N: Hope you like this chapter sorry if there isn't any good Gallic as kicker but there will be some next chapter. Shinji will also begin corrupting the people around him with his Celticness. Please review as much as you can.