"Raven..."

"...Raven...tell me what you are feeling... ..."

I take a long, shuddering breath.

I am sitting against the cold window of the Main Room.

Looking out onto the gray world of a wet, rainy afternoon.

I could just as well be huddled within the rigid confines of this sill.

I haven't expected anyone to see me. I had tought that everyone had gone out for the day.

But Robin's been here. And right now, he kneels beside me.

Imploring...

"Please... ...Please, Raven. I only want to help."

A minute passes.

Two minutes.

Robin hangs his head.

He gets up.

He turns and makes to leave--

"Robin, I'm sorry..."

He freezes in his steps.

He doesn't look at me.

But I hear him...

"Raven, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that nothing I can ever do or say is of any help or consolation to you..."

"Only because I have.. ...n-never let you or any of the other Titans help me.. ... ...not outright..."

"And in all honesty, Raven...," he turns around and faces me. Though I am not facing him. "...I cannot rightfully blame you for your distance. Not entirely."

"When Trigon took over.. ...when he turned the world into darkness and the Titans had to face the apocalypse to defeat him... ... ... ...we all finally... ...finally got a picture as to what haunts your life. The essence of your darkness. What it is that chases you into the long, cold nights you choose to spend alone."

I bite my lip.

I hug myself slightly and scrunch further into the glass, gray world.

"How could anyone...anyone possibly manage to weather that grim and hideous reality all by herself? It's...It's... ... ...It's unimaginable, Raven. I wish we had an idea. We would have tried harder to.. ... ...to reach you somehow..."

"You all have done enough," I murmur. "... ...far more than I could ever ask of you."

"Raven... ..."

"And I'm sorry that I forced it upon you. I'm sorry that I made you and Starfire and Beast Boy and Cyborg go through such horror on my behalf. Now my father's spirit roams the unknown cosmos, and Slade is at large and with his own body back. You and I both know that they'll back some day. Maybe not as a team.. ...but they will continue to haunt my future. Our future."

"Raven," Robin sighs. "We've been through this. Trigon was defeated."

"He will be back someday."

"... ... ... ...you yourself blasted him into oblivion."

I lower my eyes. "That's how I know he'll be back... .. ..."

"... .. ...," Robin sighs and runs a hand through his spiked hair.

"Again, Robin. I'm sorry. Being with you and the Titans.. ... ...it's a danger. It's a hazard. It's always has been. And it always will be. And you and the Titans saw what my destiny can bring. And---"

"And we don't care."

I flinch. I shudder.

Robin looks at me with concern. "Raven.. ... ...?"

"How...H-How can you have so much faith in me?"

"Faith is only part of it, Raven," Robin gestures...walking back over to the cold window where I am seated. "You've more than proven to us that you're someone with limitless trust, maturity, dependency, and--"

"What does it really amount to in the end, Robin?"

"... ... .. ... ...do I really need to say it out loud, Raven?"

"... ... ..." He takes a deep breath and ever so slightly smiles. "You...need to hear it, don't you?"

I gulp. I choke forth a wavering: "Y-Yes..."

He kneels down again. He rests a hand softly on my blue-robed shoulder. In a soft breath, the Titan leader says: "Raven...we are your friends. We are your friends and we love you."

My throat turns sore. I try not to show it, but my eyes are misty...

"What more could you expect from us? Heheh...You're so humble as it is-"

"NO... ... ...N-No...I'm not..."

"... .. ...?" Robin leans his head to the side. "... ...Raven?"

"When...Wh-When things were coming down to the wire... .. ...and the prophecy was being fulfilled...," I murmur. I fight back a choking breath and continue. "...I tried to leave you and the Titans. I thought that if I returned to Azarath, this world might be spared. But I found my City in ruins...and my mother gone. You remember this, don't you?"

Robin nods...

"... ... ...that wasn't the first time I tried to leave you and the Titans, Robin."

"It wasn't?"

I shake my head. I speak: "So many times before.. ...I tried to leave. I summoned portals... ...levitated across the City... ...even hiked once from the Tower. In every circumstance, bare necessities alone kept me from making it out entirely on my own. But the fact of the matter is, I tried. I made every conscious effort--no matter how much I struggled. I... ...I didn't want to bring the eventual doom that did indeed threaten you and the others... ... ...and this world."

Robin slowly nods.

Listening...

"But now...," I shudder. I cling to myself. I feel like the scared, confused little girl in white whom Robin himself carried through Hell. "... ...now I do not have that feeling."

"You don't?"

I shake my head. I squeak forth. "I-I don't w-want to leave. Because now I know... ...I-I finally realize... ... ...That even if T-Trigon comes back... ... ...There's no place in all existence... ... ...N-No place in the universe... ...That I'd rather be.. ...Th-Than with my friends..." I look at Robin. My vision is foggy. "...Because you are all so... ...so very protective of me. In a world full of darkness, I now know where there is warmth. And even if that warmth is just a fraction of hope for me, it's more than enough. And I am so... ...so very selfish this time around. So very s-selfish, Robin..."

"For what?" He smiles gently. "For wanting to be with your friends?"

I shudder and shut my eyes. "... ...do you even listen to a word I say?"

He squeezes my shoulder slightly. "Raven... ..."

I look at him weakly...

He leans forward. "You do realize--now--that if you were to try 'leaving us' again... ...that at this point, we'd hunt you down across the entire universe till we grounded you in your room or something."

"... ...Huh?"

"Heheheheh...What I mean is," he gestures. "... ...We didn't go through doomsday just to see you walk off and exist in self-obliteration. You're not the only 'selfish' one, Raven. For as much as you don't want to let go of what we've given you... ...we don't want to let go of what you've given us."

"... ... ...and what have I given all of you, Robin?"

"Yourself, Raven. We don't want to be without you."

"Do you believe that?"

"Just what's so spanking special about me anyways?"

"... ... .." He blinks.

I stare at him.

"... ... ... ..." He blushes somewhat.

I sniffle and raise an eyebrow.

"... .. ... ..." His lips curve. "Charm."

I blink. "Charm?"

"You have... ...charm...Raven."

"How in Azar's name do I have charm?"

He stands up and offers me a hand. "Stick around with us--as selfishly as you'd wish--and give us the time to find out together."

"... .. ... ...," I exhale and manage a weak smile. "Sounds lame... ... ...I'll do it..." I raise a hand to his.

He helps me up to my feet. "Now...let's get away from cold windows and join the rest in having pizza. That sound okay?"

"Uhm... ..." I fidget.

"Hmm? You've got better ideas?"

"Pizza's kinda getting old for me. How about... ... ..something different... ..."

"As long as you promise not to feel selfish in asking..." He points with a smirk.

I adjust my robe and shyly glance aside. "... ... ... ...would ice cream be okay?"

"Heh. You kidding? Beast Boy will flip. Let's go..."

Robin leads the way towards the elevator of the Main Room.

I take a deep breath.

I slowly shuffle after him.

Pulling the hood over my head.

"Hmmm... ... ... ...charm... ... ..."

I smirk to myself ever so secretly in the shadow of my own garb.

"... ... ...I never thought I'd live through Apocalypse to be labeled with that..."

Anything is possible.