Title: Opposites Attract
Chapter 23 - If Tomorrow Comes
A/N: A huge shout out of 'THANKS' to everyone who has reviewed so far and is still liking this story and wanting it to continue a little bit longer. Things obviously turn more serious now so hope that's still okay.
I have no words; no actions; time holds me captive as I watch in horrible slow motion as Paula's body slowly crumples to the ground, blood instantly covering her stomach and chest.
"NO!" I shout in horror. "Oh god no, not Paula," I stammer in shock as I bend down and start to examine the wound. Stella is covering us with a gun in her hand and my phone in the other. But he won't fire again; he's done his damage; his demented point driven home in an instant. Within seconds Flack is at our side; almost as hysterical as I am. "Call an ambulance!"
"It's on its way Mac," Flack mentions but I can't really hear him as my heart is pounding and the booming in my ears is going to explode at any second; drowning out anything other than my own miserable cursing.
"Paula, hold on, you just have to hold on okay?" I urge as I apply some pressure to her wound. "WHERE THE HELL IS THE DAMN AMBULANCE!" I shout in anger.
"It's on its way," Stella tells me. I know others have converged on us but my brain fails to register anyone other myself and Paula. "You better not die. DON'T DIE!" I yell at her as her eyes finally start to push themselves open.
"Ma..." her voice tries.
"That's it...just stay with me," I tell her. "WHERE IS IT?" I shout again.
"Coming right now," Stella tells me as Flack orders his men to the area we think the shot might have originated.
"Why Paula...why not me?" I whisper in anguish. Without hesitation I would have given my life for her; why didn't he take me? But I know why; he did this to prove a point and I dare say today, in the blink of an eye, I am a defeated man.
Thankfully within a few minutes the ambulance has arrived but her wound looks bad and she's already lost a lot of blood and I wonder if she'll die in my arms as Carla did. I know Stella is trying to tell me something but I don't listen; I just help load her onto the stretcher and then rush after her into the ambulance; the doors close, taking us away from the scene of carnage. The ride there is pure hell as I am helpless to do anything other than sit back and watch one of the most important women in my life slowly lose her battle with life.
I close my eyes and offer a prayer; not knowing what I am saying; not knowing it'll do any good.
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"Okay I need to call Ed," I tell Flack as I watch Mac leave in the ambulance. I still have his phone and know from what Mac told me that Ed was released from the hospital this week from a gun shot wound so he would be at home instead of at work. However, my hands are weak and my mind racing and I can do little more than stare at Mac's phone, but unable to call anyone.
"Stella, is that Paula's blood on your hand?" Lindsay asks me in concern; offering me something to clean it with.
"It's Mac's," I reply absently.
"What? He was shot too?" Flack asks in shock.
"No a cut from the University, he's okay," I mumble in haste as Flack pulls out his own phone to try Ed.
"No answer," he tells me with a frown. "I'll go and get him," Flack says as he turns to leave. "Meet you at the ER!" He calls back without looking.
"Cyrus," I call. "I am going to the ER. What did you guys find on those cases?"
"It's a slow process, but not much," he frowns; his eyes slightly watery. "Should we go too?"
"I know you guys are concerned about Paula but a million people showing up in the ER won't help anything, much less Mac's peace of mind."
"Gosh you sound like you've known him forever," Cyrus offers with a slight frown. "Glad you're here for him."
"And us," Lindsay pipes up to which I can only offer a smaller frown.
"Thanks," I reply softly. "Please just keep working as best you can. I know you'll be worried and I can't ask you not to be, but please anything you can find to help us stop this monster will be much appreciated. I'll call as soon as I can."
I get only positive replies in return and then rush back inside to Mac's office; grabbing my bag and stuff what I need to inside and then my coat and am off to my truck within minutes; my destination the ER.
"He'll blame himself," I utter in sorrow. "And this will once again drive him back behind his wall of emotional solitude. Damn this guy!"
I believe him when he said he'd rather it was him; and part of me selfishly is happy it wasn't. But as I think about her dotting husband, who Mac speaks the world of, and her two little girls that might not have a mother now, I know inside my selfishness must take a backseat to reasonableness. My eyes water at that last thought; I never knew my mother, and now I might have to watch two small girls lose theirs; much like myself, never able to say goodbye to the woman that helped give them life.
"If I ever get my hands on this bastard I'll kill him for Mac," I offer into the quiet vehicle. I now worry that Mac will go off on his own to solve this thing, once again not worrying or caring about anything other than revenge. Then my mind plays back the words of his threats, 'you'll come to me and I'll deliver you to the devil; you will die alone.'
"He'll now seek revenge. And he'll get himself killed in the process to justify her death," I huff as I hit the steering wheel. I finally reach the ER and rush inside; my heart racing I'm sure as fast as Mac's.
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As the ambulance pulls into the stall I am told to hang back and allow them to continue to work to save Paula's life. I have never felt so helpless in my life and know that if she doesnt pull through I might never be the same man again. I look down at her blood on my hands and soon I watch a few tears starting to make salty trails on my hands; I clench my fists but the blood still remains. I finally choke back my anger and slowly get out of the ambulance and numbly walk inside. I head toward the doors of the ER but am told that I have to wait outside and not interfere. I want to reach for my gun and demand that I am allowed to be there but I know in truth there is nothing more I can do except remain a helpless spectator and so must wait on those that can help.
I stand transfixed in time staring morbidly into the ER while a skilled team rushes around Paula's still body. I am held helplessly in place until I hear my name being called; but it's not until Stella's arm touches mine that I am forced to turn around and acknowledge her.
"Mac?" She offers in a whispered tone.
My watery eyes turn to look at her but I have no words to offer; nothing at the moment that will matter or make sense to anyone around me.
"I failed her," I finally offer. "What do I tell Ed?" I ask as another tear escapes my eyes and slowly slides down my face. Before Stella can help me; I quickly brush it away, only to smear blood on my face. The pain in my side has all but taken a backseat to the pain my brain and heart are experiencing. I dont care about me anymore; I have caused this all over again and I know what I must do.
"You need to get fixed up," Stella tells me.
"I don't care about me," I tell her in a numb tone as I turn away and head back for the doors of the ER.
"Well I do," I hear her tell me as she turns and walks away. In a matter of minutes I feel another hand on my shoulder and turn around to face a man dressed as a doctor.
"Detective Taylor? Stella, tells me you were cut. Can I help?"
"No big deal," I reply simply.
"You can't do anything for Paula right now," he tells me in a soft tone. "Let me help you."
"I have to be here," I offer in remorse. "It's my fault."
"Mac..." Stella starts.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I state in heated anger.
"But..." she starts.
"Please don't," I turn around in anger. "Don't start giving me the, 'there is no way you could have known speech!" I finish with a half shout. "If she dies, it's on me!" I glare at the doctor before me in anger and quickly pull away. "I don't need your help."
I know Stella only wants to help but right now I can't allow that. I need to know what's happening every second and if I'm focused on me, who'll stand watch?
A small eternity passes until I hear another man calling my name.
"Mac?" Ed mentions in a soft tone to which I turn around. I offer a slight hug as I know he is also recovering from a life threatening wound.
"It's my fault Ed. I should have been able to stop him. I should have known," I tell him in anguish; my eyes offering tears once more. I glance past him to the two small girls standing by Don Flack and my heart breaks instantly.
"Paula wouldn't want this Mac, and you know that. She would not want you out here blaming yourself for this mistake," Ed tells me softly. I look into his watery dark eyes but can't believe him.
"It should have been me, he should have killed me," I state flatly.
"Paula's not dead Mac; if anyone has nine lives it's her," he tries to reassure me; but I suspect he's saying it for my benefit and his own peace of mind. I watch his two daughters approach and they both offer me a small hug to which I can only offer a tight lipped smile. I look up at Stella and Flack but the last thing I need right now is people trying to tell me I'm not to blame; because I know I am.
Ed takes his girls and they walk past me to the entrance of the ER to wait. My whole body is on fire and my hands are lightly shaking as I head for Stella and Flack.
"Where the hell is my damn phone?" I demand of her in anger. "I need to be alone." I'm not angry at her but right now I just need space and air. She hands it to be absently; no words need to be said as she knows I'm breathing revenge. I snatch the phone and rush past them back outside. I quickly look at the restricted number and press redial.
"Answer me you son of a bitch!" I demand in loud anger.
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I numbly hand Mac his phone and then offer only a stare of regret as he pushes past me and Flack and hurries outside.
"He shouldn't be alone," I mention. "He won't talk to me," I tell Flack.
"Well he won't talk to me," Flack huffs.
"He might," I whisper as I quickly brush away newly formed tears.
"Stella, you care for him, it's obvious. You need to be with him."
"Please?" I beg, turning to him with watery eyes. "Don please. Just go and see if he's okay?"
"But..." he tries in protest.
"Please?" I beg once more.
Flack looks at me and frowns. "I'll try."
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I try the number once more and finally sense I am not alone. "Damn it Stella I just need..." I start as I turn around. "Flack, sorry. I thought, never mind. This is getting to be habit for you," I huff and he smirks. "She's mad at me right?"
"Mad? No," he sighs. "Worried? Yes. So am I, about you and Paula," Flack tells me to which I feel my anger lessen.
"I'm fine," I lie.
"Please Mac, even I can tell you're lying," Flack huffs. "You know when I first met Paula, I was amazed by her. Not only her sharp intelligence but also the way she just pushes her way into your head and stays there; trying to dare you to ask her to leave, but knowing you just can't."
"It should have been me!" I lightly hiss.
"Mac, you are not the only man who would have taken a bullet for her," Flack tells and I look at him in surprise. "Trust me, if I had been on those steps I would have stood in front of her also without question, without hesitation."
"This guy, the same guy who killed those boys; it's him! He's the sick bastard we are after! And he's doing this to get at me! How the hell can I live with that if she dies?" I half yell.
"Mac, Paula is strong and we got here in record time. As much as I do have my doubts I think she'll pull through."
"But you don't know for sure, right?" I snap.
"I don't think even the doctors know that right now," Flack tells me in a sad, calm tone.
I look at the younger man before me and frown. "And if Stella is next? Then what? What do I do if I have to watch her in there; fighting for her life because of me!"
"We have to make sure that won't happen, but you know Stella is the last person on this planet who is going to cave to this monster, she's ready to fight Mac. She is."
I know Stella sent him to check on me and I am once again amazed at how this woman cares for me even when I am at my darkest. "I don't deserve her," I mention.
"Paula or Stella?" Flack asks.
"Either," I huff.
"That's what I tell myself every day," Flack lightly smiles. "Stella said you were cut today?"
"No big..." I start.
"Do you need me to arrest you for being stubborn?" Flack dares.
"You sound like her," I offer lightly.
"And that's a bad thing?" Flack counters.
"No," I frown as I stuff my phone into my jacket pocket and offer a heavy sigh of resignation.
"Look if you don't go in there and at least get a damn band-aide my reputation as a problem solver for you two is moot," he tries with a slight smile; to which I can only offer a heavy sigh and smile in return. "And trust me as much I don't want to be known as the mushy relationship problem solver, as Jessica might expect more of me, I need there to be peace between you two or my peace of mind is shot," he lightly offers and it's my time to offer a smirk.
"Thanks," I offer.
"You're a friend Mac; I know you'd do the same for me."
"Fine, I'm going to get myself patched up."
Flack follows me inside and I only can glance at Stella with timid eyes before I walk up to the doctor that was trying to help me earlier.
"Detective Taylor?" He lightly questions.
"I'm told I need help," I frown.
"This won't take long," he smiles as I turn and follow after him.
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I watch Flack return and then Mac walk away with the doctor; my heart is still racing and my hands lightly trembling. "Well?"
"You're right, he's stubborn," Flack tells me. "But he's going to get patched up."
"I owe you," I offer with a slight smile.
"Just don't tell Jess," he calls and I offer a nod as I continue on my path to find Mac.
I slowly walk in the direction that Mac went with the doctor and finally find him sitting on a small examining bed unbuttoning his shirt. I notice his fingers are trembling and he's cursing his clumsiness; making very little progress. Without saying a word I walk up to him and gently push his hands aside and finish the task for him.
His watery blue eyes look into mine and my heart breaks. "Mac I'm sorry," I mention softly as I touch his flushed face. "I wish I could say it's going to be okay but I'm sorry I don't know."
"Sorry for yelling," he whispers.
"You needed to," I remind him. "I'm not mad at you."
"I'm glad you're here," he half whispers; torment in his voice, taking my hands and holding onto them like a drowning man afraid to go under.
"Stella, did you want to stay?" Dr. Michaels asks me as he walks back into the room with a small tray of items.
"No, I should..." I start.
"Stella, please stay," Mac tells me in a quiet voice as he hands me his dress shirt. I offer only a smile and take his shirt and jacket and hold them close; not caring if I have now blood on my own clothes. Dr. Michaels starts to take Mac's undershirt off and I then spy the knife cut and lightly curse. Even the fact that he's now half dressed is doing little to distract me from the fresh blood that is on certain parts of him; his blood and Paula's.
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I feel the tetanus needle enter my system and offer a slight wince.
"Just need a few stitches Mac," the doctor tells me as he continues to work. My eyes nervously dance around the room; not wanting to rest on Stella for too long as I feel that I owe her something. But when those green pools hold me captive I know I dont have to pretend to be anything other than I am right now a man in mental anguish bent on personal revenge. Dr. Michaels finally finishes up and I finally get dressed. He gives me a few instructions and then leaves us alone.
"Stella," I start in a tormented tone.
"Mac, why do you feel the need to justify yourself to me?" She asks softly and I am once again caught off guard by her perceptions into my very soul. "I know you want revenge but I'm not going to let you go off half cocked alone; daring this guy to meet you so you can do something stupid. Sacrificing your life for no good reason."
"If he wants to play that game then I'm going to," I tell her quickly as I start to button up my shirt. Stella takes my hands and holds them in hers; stopping my actions.
"And if you die? Will that patch the hole in my heart then? If I see you lying in that ER, dying?"
"No more deaths because of me!" I insist. "Those two little girls could lose their mother because of me!"
"You didn't shoot Paula!"
"I let it happen!" I snap, pushing myself off the table and storming to the other side of the room. "See, this is what caring about people does to you! It makes you sick with revenge. I had the same feeling of revenge when that bastard murdered Carla. It shouldn't be!"
"Mac..."
"And what if you're next? Another death of a person I care about because of something I did to incur his obvious hatred of me! How can I watch you die?" I half shout. "I shouldn't have let it get this far."
"Mac, no matter where I was in the stream of time he would have done this anyways," she reminds me.
"But if it was just me, it wouldnt matter. Caring for someone costs too much."
"So then people should never care for anyone?" She asks.
"It would keep people alone but alive," I offer.
"If you are alone, are you really alive?" She counters in a soft tone, as she turns to leave. "I don't want to berate you for this stupid path you want to walk down, but I'm also not going to try to force you to care for anyone other than yourself."
"Stella," I resign. "Can't you see there is no other way? If you leave then I'll only have to worry about myself!"
"And what about me?" She challenges. "Do you not care that maybe I don't want to walk away?"
"If you were smart you'd would want to," I offer in anger.
"Well I guess I'm stupid too," she admits. "Because I don't want to. I care for you; a great deal Mac. But you have to want me in your life; even when it's at its darkest, like right now."
I watch her leave and then hit the air in anger. Of course I want her in my life; how could I not? But if she's the next to fall because of me, what then? If I dont catch this guy and fast then no matter who I care for, could soon be sleeping six feet in the ground. If it keeps her alive then its worth it right? I know I'm right. No you're not. Not this time.
With another heavy sigh I finally push my way back into the hallway and slowly head back to the ER waiting area. I spy Stella sit down beside Flack but I just can't bring myself to join them. I see Ed talking to the doctor and head for them.
"Ed?" I lightly question as the ER doctor finally leaves.
"She's flat lined twice Mac," he offers with a sad tone; tears still continuing to flow down his face.
"She'll pull through," I tell him; not really believing it myself.
I turn and look at Stella but have no words to offer; Flack offers me a frown but no words. My phone rings and I slowly reach for it.
"Taylor," I answer in a numb tone as I slowly walk past them outside once again. "Adam, what did you find?"
"Including the four from this case, there are nine other young men that were killed in the same manner as the Bryce's; and all were cases that were yours. Each of them was killed by an unknown male; a suspect was named and then found later with a gunshot wound. All were .45's. All were eventually closed as suicides or a rash act but never followed up on. The voice, DNA and finger prints are a match to the same unknown male. But his ID was never established."
"So we are dealing with a damn ghost! Send me the names of the victims and the case notes to my office," I direct. "Thanks Adam."
I finish the call and turn to see Stella watching me with a skeptical brow. "What?" She asks.
"Still unknown. Seems like we have twelve young men in total to date that fit the profile that I have worked and were filed as a rash act but that my final note was filed as unsolved. Back at square one," I frown. "Until he calls again; and trust me when he calls again you won't want to be there for that."
"Sick bastard," Stella throws at me.
"Me or him?" I frown.
"Take your pick," she replies in a small voice as she walks past me.
I can only watch in tormented silence as she storms past; my brain once again failing to send words to my mouth to make her stay. Stupid! I berate myself. But then I realize its better this way. I need this guy and can't afford to have my mind distracted by worrying about who his next target will be; which I wrongly surmise is Stella.
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I didn't mean to be so harsh to him but sometimes his stubborn refusal for help is just too much. I push past and head for the truck. But as I round the corner to the parking lot I stop; leaning against the cool brick wall; trying to allow my heart to slow a bit before I get behind the wheel. He's used to being alone and has told himself that if he has anyone in his life if something happens to him, no one will care or miss him.
But I care. Why can't see accept that? I know he's worried I'll be next but I'm worried sick he'll be next. I hear him call my name as he comes after me and I know he needs me so I hesitate, knowing inside I just can't walk away right now. Damn it! I curse. I am about to reveal myself to him when his phone rings again. I hold my breath, praying it's not his stalker.
I would be wrong.
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"Taylor," I answer with a weary sigh.
'Is this a bad time?' The male voice laughs.
"What the hell do you want from me?" I demand in anger.
'I want your blood.'
"Then come and get it! Let's end this now. Tell me where and when. What is your game?" I ask angrily.
'Do you think when she dies that your mind will be back where it belongs? Trying to find me?'
"Tell me where you are and I won't have to look. You want me dead, fine! Just stop playing these damn games!" I yell in anger.
'Oh but I like games and I know you do to.' The voice continues. 'I am sorry but I have to go now. I'll be in touch. Just called to gloat a little. Winning is so much fun.'
"Damn it!" I curse in anger as I kick at the wall in frustration. The last time I had tried to get a cell tower triangulation it only came back in the New York City area. This guy was clever and using a device to hide his location. He's calling the shots and I know that until he reveals himself, I'll be in the dark; frustrated and helpless to do anything other than be a morbid spectator in my own future demise.
I lean against the wall and close my eyes, my body finally sagging to a semi-sitting position; letting my mind wander back to the first time I met Paula.
-----
'You're Mac Taylor? Don't seem like the terror I've been described.'
'Chief Donald Miles tell you that description?'
'Samantha Riker.' She smiles.
'What brings you to DC?' I ask.
'Do you always change the subject when you don't want to answer a personal question?' She questions.
'I only heard a statement.' I offer.
'You and I are going to get along just fine.' She tells me.
'You're my new detective?' I ask in annoyance.
'New? I like that. I have been working just as long as you have my dear.' She retorts.
'I have more lines.' I shoot back.
'Honey, black don't crack.' She tells me and I smile.
-----
I remember offering her a smile and then asking her for lunch after that and have been close friends ever since. "Paula, you can't leave me. Please don't die."
I finally look up and see Stella standing in silence just watching me; offering me a look that asks if she could come close. Great, now she's afraid of me! Damn it! That's not what I wanted. "Sorry about earlier," I offer.
"You know I still have my bat handy," she tells me with a smile.
"Yeah well you might need it before the night ends," I offer only with a frown. "Thought you left."
"So did I," she replies as Flack comes out to join us.
"Anything?" I ask eagerly.
"Well they managed to get the bullet out and now they are working to stop the bleeding and stabilize," he informs us in a soft tone.
"How's Ed?" I ask in torment.
"Could use a friend right now," Flack tells me and I know where I have to be; these heated debates can wait for now.
"See you both later," I tell them as I head back inside.
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I watch Mac go back inside and then look at Flack with a frown. "Think she'll pull through?"
"If I was a betting man I wouldn't put money on it," he answers me firmly.
"Think he'll pull through?" I ask in sorrow.
"Wouldn't put money on that either. You heading back to the lab?" Flack asks me and I nod yes. "Here take the bullet."
"I just want to update the team, check on what they are doing and then I'll be back," I answer. "Take care of Mac, okay? Just make sure he doesn't leave or go anywhere alone."
"You got it. As soon as you know something, tell me. I want this guy Stella," Flack tells me angrily.
"That's a heavy request these days," I sigh as I take the bullet with me and head for my truck.
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I slowly head back inside to be with Ed. I'm not one for moral support as Carla was taken from me so quickly that I really didn't have time to do much else except hold her while she died. Now when my mind flashed back images of me holding Paula just after she was shot, I feel I'm reliving the same nightmare all over again. And if I wasn't sure that I had gotten the guy that murdered Carla I would have for a split second thought it was the same person doing it to me all over again.
"Ed," I mention softly as I slowly ease myself down beside him. My side aches from the tight stitches but it's nothing compared to the mental anguish I'm feeling right now.
"This is wrong Mac," Ed mentions in a low tone; his eyes not meeting mine. And while he won't blame me, he doesn't have to; I have already crucified myself inside my head. I did this and if Paula dies they might as well book me for murder and throw away the key, because when I find the guy that did this, I will kill him.
"I will find this guy Ed, I swear to you I will find this guy and I will make him pay!" I offer in an angry tone. I look at the two small girls resting on either side of their father and frown. How can I tell them it was me who took away their mother? That they lost an amazing woman because of me?
"I remember the first case you two worked together," Ed starts with a slow smile.
"Andrew Claremont," I offer a tired smile in return.
"Remember?" Ed asks slowly.
"Remember? How can I forget," I lightly smirk. "Paula made me get into that damn vat of tomatoes to fish that guy out. My face wasn't the only thing that was red for the rest of the week," I finish and Ed smiles. "Match made in hell," I huff. "And I've been a better man ever since she first said hello."
"Trust me she cursed your name the whole night for ruining her best suit," Ed smiles.
"I know, she sent me the bill for the next suit she bought," I reply with a light frown. I lean back and look at Ed. "I would never admit this under any other circumstance but I do envy what you have; a good woman that loves you more than anything. A woman you can be proud of and a woman you actually want to go home to; much less give your life so that she can live."
"I see you finally found yourself a good woman."
"What? Stella? Oh trust me, when I go after this guy, she'll be gone," I tell him in sorrow.
"Do you care for her?"
"More than I the words I can actually bring myself to tell her," I frown. "I think since I first heard her name there was an odd connection. And now," I stop. "Trust me, this will drive us apart. And don't start on about not going after this guy."
"I know you too well to give you that advice," he tells me slowly. "But you don't have to prove yourself for Paula; you know she'd rather have you live for her than die for her. Especially if you found someone to make you happy; you've never had that."
I look at the man beside me and frown. Of course I know he's right; but something inside is telling me that I will get this guy no matter the personal cost to me. I lean back in the chair and offer a heavy sigh. How the hell did my life get out of control like this?
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"Stella," Cyrus calls to me as I head toward Mac's office. "Anything?"
"We got the bullet and I'm going to run that now after I make one call. She's lost a lot of blood and they are working to stabilize her. Please tell the team that we still don't know. Sorry."
"How's Mac?" He asks me in concern.
"Not good either," I frown. "What happened to him after Carla died?"
"Oh Mac got him and earned a disciplinary hearing as his reward," Cyrus informs me. "Nearly beat the guy to death."
"What?" I ask in shock.
"Yeah if it wasn't for Paula I'm sure he would have. Thankfully he died in prison. Hope you have the same strong influence on him or he might end up being arrested if we do find this guy."
"Thanks for the warning," I frown at Cyrus. "See you in the lab and then you can give me an update."
I head into Mac's office and then turn on his computer. He is already logged in and I can't help but look at his calendar. My eyes rest on a few entries and I take a breath. "He put in the meetings with me and all the cases I won?"
'First case together!'
'Dry clean Bonasera's dress.'
'Bought toy for B.'
'Met Bonasera! Wow!'
'Text from B.'
'Bonasera won Simons case.'
'Card from B.
'Bonasera won Andrews case.'
And a few others. My eyes water as I realize that this man has been thinking about me long before I would ever have guessed; much the way I was thinking about him before we met. I quickly brush aside my morbidity and know that the best way to help him now, is to find the guy responsible and try to stop him before I lose Mac. I finish what I need to and then head for the lab to start my ballistics search.
"How's Paula?" Lindsay asks as I walk past her.
"Not sure yet," I huff as I stand before the table with a blank stare, my hands slightly trembling. "She might not make it. It looks really bad," I manage; almost in a dead whisper.
"I can help with that," she offers in a quiet tone.
I look at her with a frown. "What if she dies? It'll kill Mac," is all I can manage.
"You know before you came on the scene I would have been really worried that those words would come true and how it would affect him," Lindsay says, taking the small evidence bag from my hands. "But I don't think you'll let him self destruct and I'm glad you're here with us."
"What if I can't help him?" I ask weakly.
"Trust me, if anyone can help Mac, it's you," she tells me warmly. "So what have you got?"
I look at Lindsay and can't help but smile. A few weeks ago I would have told you that Lindsay Monroe was just another CSI out to snag Danny Messer and be done with it. But as I hear her comforting words and watch her get started I realize that she is a dedicated CSI trying to do her job and a friend trying to help me save the man I care about; and for a few brief seconds I am at peace.
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After what seems like a small painful eternity, the ER doctor finally walks up to us with a grim expression. My heart rate starts to rise and I feel my fists clench instinctively. I look at Ed, who's too worn out from adrenaline and emotion to even stand.
"Doctor?" I ask in anticipation.
"Mr. Watford?" He addresses Ed; not ignoring me but not addressing me either. It's not my place; I'm Paula's friend; Ed's her life.
"Is Paula going to live?" He asks simply.
"She..."
A/N: Okay sorry once again for the cliffy lol...well no I'm not really sorry...so I know this chappy might have been a bit slower but hope you still like it and please review. Who is the killer? Hmmm reviews might garner the answer in the next chapter! Hehe