Title: Opposites Attract
Chapter 24 - A Total Eclipse of the Heart
"Did I lose her?" Ed simply asked, tears running down his face.
"Not yet," the doctor sighed. "However, we have managed to stabilize her for now but we could still lose her over the next twenty-four hours. I'm sorry; I wish I had better news. She's strong and healthy and that will count in her favor; that and the fact that she was able to get here pretty quickly. But the bullet did rupture major arteries near the heart. I would tell you to go home and wait but I know you won't."
"Thanks," Ed responds with a frown and looks at me in anguish.
"Did you want me to take the girls to Marie's?" I ask, referring to Paula's sister.
"Yes please," Ed answers with a small smile. "Shayla, Kesha, do you want to go with uncle Mac and see Auntie Marie?"
"We want to stay with mom," Shayla, the oldest says in a quiet voice.
"Marie will bring you back here as soon as something changes, I promise," Ed tells them.
I wait for the girls to get up and slowly walk outside to my truck and help them inside. The drive to Marie's is one of silent misery as I just can't bring myself to talk about their mother or her supposed fate. I finally arrive and make small conversation with Marie before I head back to the lab to see what's going on with the team.
I slowly make my way to my office; my dress clothes still cut up and covered with mine and Paula's blood. I get a few odd looks from those that dont know the whole story but frown when I dont see Stella sitting in my chair. I see my phone has been cleaned and it just sitting and waiting for me but she isn't and I am immediately hit with a sense of remorse.
My body is finally starting to feel fatigue as I just stare out the window in misery. I finally see Stella's reflection in the window and turn to her with a tormented gaze.
"How is she?"
"Twenty four hours and we'll know if she'll pull through," I explain with a tired sigh. "Did you examine the bullet?"
"I did."
"What did you find?"
"Flack and I can do this," she tells me.
"Stella, what did the bullet reveal?"
"A name," she huffs.
"Stella!" I press in anger.
"James Marshall. Two bit hood, but his DNA did match an old case that you worked on. Not an unsolved but one that you and Paula tried to bust for the murder of a young black boy," Stella explains. "The same gun that killed the boy is the same gun that shot Paula."
"Let's go. Did you call Flack?"
"He'll meet us there," Stella tells me as she walks up to me with a frown.
"I will not rest until this guy is behind bars."
"I wasn't going to convince you otherwise," she tells me in concern.
"Right," I huff, but I know she doesn't believe me. We head down to the truck in silence and I haven't felt tension this thick since our first call. Even the last few times we have had arguments it wasn't this bad. I know she's mad at me for closing up but I can't help it. It's all I know. She can say I told you so anytime now; but she won't and once again it's her silence that will torment me.
XXXXXXXX
I know he's in pain but feel once again helpless to draw him out of the solitary corner he's backed himself into. I know he thinks he needs to protect himself but why can't he understand that I want to help him bring this guy to justice just as much.
"Where did you take her little girls?" I ask, just hoping to add some talking to the stale air.
"Marie's. Paula's oldest sister," Mac answers, not looking at me.
"What's she like?" I try again.
"Stella, I know what you are doing and I appreciate your help but please," Mac tells me with a tight voice. "I just can't make small talk right now. Right now I need to tell myself to control my temper with the man I'm going to see shortly; and if she dies then you might have two killers on your hand."
"I will of course ignore that," I tell him with a heavy sigh.
And sadly the rest of the ride is spent in miserable silence for both of us. We reach the small house the same time as Flack. But as soon as the truck stops, Mac is out and rushing for the door.
"Mac!" Flack warns as he rushes after him. I watch as Mac merely kicks the door down with one foot; angry adrenaline the only thing feeding his brain right now.
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"JAMES MARSHALL! NYPD!" I yell in anger. "Get your sorry ass out here!"
"Taylor!" Flack calls my name again. With my gun trained I quickly scan the first room and then hurry for the second. I hear Flack and Stella rush into the house as I reach the second room.
"Marshall! Hands where I can see them!" I shout as I spy a man sitting at a computer desk. I am about to rush him when Flack pulls me back. I turn to face him with an angry scowl.
"Just hang back and let me do my job!" Flack barks at me in anger.
"Fine!" I growl as I turn around to watch; my eyes not daring to meet Stella's.
"Mr. Marshall, I need to see your hands," Flack tries again, his gun trained as he moves in closer. "I think someone beat us to him," Flack frowns as Stella and I rush for the body. We all see that Marshall has a self inflicted gunshot wound and there is a note on his computer; along with the gun that will later be proved to have shot Paula. Plus beside him on the floor was the two knives that would later be proved to have killed the four boys. As it appeared he was our man.
"To whom it may concern," Stella reads the note on his computer. "Jealous rage consumed me and I deeply regret killing those boys," her voice trials off. "He even apologies for shooting Paula."
I offer an angry curse and then call Cyrus. "I need whichever pair wants to come and process a scene," I tell him in a weary voice. "We might have just solved this. Fine you all come."
Flack calls in a few officers to contain the scene but I numbly turn and walk back to the door; half expecting my stalker to call and gloat. But no call. I look at my phone with any angry scowl.
"Maybe he just couldnt take the pressure Mac," Stella tells me in a quiet voice.
"This guy set up Marshall and just like the others, this will now be blamed on a drifter with a jealous streak that ended in a self inflicted death."
"But you don't believe that?" Stella questions me.
"I don't know what to believe," I state in anger. I head for the front of the door and step outside into the cool night air. My eyes are scanning the area before me, I know I'm being watched. This guy is just too damn smart! But he wants me to find him. So then why the decoy? He wants me to be alone!
"I can hear you thinking," Stella breaks me free from my sordid thoughts. I still can't turn around to face her but hate that she has to talk to my back.
"What else did you find?" I dare to ask.
"Pictures of the crime scene. Dates of the party. Times that Don Amor and Tyler Redmond were working. When Jeremy Frost was to leave. The email from Megan Salish to Martin Bryce. Internet receipts for the knives and the Ketamine. Mac it's all there. And there was a love note for you," she mentions softly.
"What?" I ask as I turn to her in shock. She holds up a piece of paper and I quickly take it.
'Taylor, I hope you find closure. I told you that you and I would meet; surprise. Did you think it would end like this? I would have loved to have continued our game but in truth I just wanted to leave as big a hole in your life as possible. See you in hell Taylor. JM'
"I don't buy it," I tell her in anger. "This guy is smart. He's been hiding all these years, studying us, how we work and what we look for. He trapped us in a haunted house, rigged a spear and then just takes his life? Following me around; my phone is probably bugged, he shoots Paula to prove a point and then he just gives up!"
"Chief wants an update," Flack says as he joins us.
I look at Stella and frown.
"Mac, you want there to be an angle, so you can have the satisfaction of taking this guy down like you did for Carla's killer. He didn't leave you that. Maybe that's the irony for this guy," Stella tells me.
"Tell the Chief whatever the hell you want, I'm going back to the hospital," I tell them as I turn and leave.
"Mac!" Stella calls after me. And I dont stop until I reach the truck; and only because she grabbed my arm and forced me back do I actually stop. "This guy played you from the beginning. He murdered those boys; plain and simple. Mac he has stuff on that computer that only the killer could have known."
"Then write up the damn report," I snap as I turn away.
"But you don't believe it," Stella huffs as she once again rushes in front of me and won't allow me to open the door.
"Stella..."
"You think that everyone around you has a hidden agenda, don't you."
"They do," I tell her.
"Does that include those that work with you? Or those close to you?"
"Stella, this is not the time or the place for this conversation," I warn her.
"And why is that Mac? Because it's not right for you? It's not a good time for you? Because you need to prove that Bad Ass Taylor, Marine hero can save the day and not give a damn what anyone else thinks as long as he's right? Did I cover everything?"
"Except I told you so," I tell her in a biting tone.
"Fine I told you so," she snaps at me.
"Now we're done," I say as I push past her and get into the truck. I hear her offer a curse in Greek as I slam the door shut and speed away.
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"Damn him!" I curse as Flack walks up behind me. "The team is on their way to process," he tells me.
"Did you call Chief Chavez?" I ask with a frown.
"He wants to verify the information and then call an immediate press conference. Mac doesn't believe it's the guy right?"
"I don't know if anything could satisfy his mind right now," I offer with a weary sigh. "I think he has his own personal agenda."
"That could be dangerous," Flack mentions.
"Yeah for him," I huff. "I'll wait here if you want to go and talk to the Chief."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah I could use the distraction," I tell Flack with a slight smile. "Trust me Don, I can't be around him right now."
"What do I tell the Chief?" Flack asks in exasperation.
"Run with what you found. We have no reason to suspect anyone else right now. In truth, James Marshall is our killer. We know they want this wrapped up and now we can all rest in peace."
"Back to our own corner of the world?" Flack asks softly. "Two separate teams?"
"Just the way it should be."
I watch Flack leave and feel my eyes water. "Two separate teams," I whisper into the cool night air. "As it should be."
About twenty minutes later Danny and Lindsay have arrived and get started right away. I am more than tempted to call Mac to see how he is, but I assume that he's with Ed and they'll just wait there until news of Paula's awakening.
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I think about heading back to the hospital but I just need some space right now and something to hit. If I go to the lab I'll be trapped by concerned co-workers and a heart to heart is the last thing on my mind right now.
I want revenge and know the guy we got tonight isn't the one that is the real killer. And while he might have been used to help murder those boys in some way, I know for sure he's not the real killer.
I stop in front of my apartment and slowly walk inside. My senses start to kick into high gear and I know I'm being watched once again. But maybe I am just tired and overly paranoid. Still as I walk into my building I stop by the elevator to wait. I hear a noise behind me and notice another tenant walk into the building. I offer a nod at the familiar face and get a small smile in return.
I hear an odd shuffling down the hall and figure I'd check it out. But as I walk past a small door a hand shoots out grabs me from behind and covers my mouth and nose with a damp rag and starts to pull me back into the darkened room. I try to pull his hand away but quickly receive a hard punch to my freshly wounded side and my tired eyes water and my body starts to succumb to the drugs being forced into me. Panic seizes me as I realize that my captor has won and now I might actually be the next body found. With that terrifying thought my world goes dark.
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I finally finish up with the scene and head back to the lab to help put it all to rest. Flack is now with Chavez and they are putting the final report together about James Marshall. Further information into his background revealed that he was rejected by the Bryce brothers when he was told they personally got him fired from the University. Further motive also suggested that the reason he shot at Paula was that she was one who pushed for this incarceration at the killing of the black boy and even when the case was declared a mistrial he vowed revenge on her.
But as I sat back in my chair I too have to wonder if it was all too easy. This case had just started and now it is over. In truth it was tiring but something just doesn't add up. Oh maybe I'm just over analyzing things because of Mac.
"Maybe I'm right," I mumble to myself with a heavy sigh. "Maybe Mac's obsessed," I frown as I look at the time. It was well into the early morning hours and I should get some sleep. I'll just stop by the hospital and see what's going on. With a push out of my chair, I grab my coat and then slowly walk through the quiet hallway. I stop at the end and watch the team as they get ready to call it a night.
All four of them are laughing and talking like they have been the best of friends and have worked together as a team all along. Maybe we can all do this? Work together?
Since I know that will never happen, I push aside some morbid thoughts and get into the elevator. I remember when I had talked to Paula earlier that she said Mac would get obsessed with cases until he was proved right. "Always has to be right," I whisper in anger. "Damn him!"
I get into the truck and head for the hospital in silence. My mind is replaying all the events over the past few weeks and how my relationship with Mac Taylor grew from friction filled enemies to passion filled friends? "That's all he wants," I whisper as my eyes start to water once more.
But as I quickly swallow my guilt I am at the ER and stop and slowly walk inside. The hospital area is quiet and I see Ed lightly sleeping on a waiting couch. I look around for Mac but dont see him. As I turn to leave however, Ed sees me.
"Stella?"
"Hi, sorry I didn't want to wake you," I mention softly.
"Just taking a break," he tells me. "I have been in to see her and she's still fighting," he tells me with fresh tears. "She refuses to give up and that's a good thing."
I sat with Ed for a bit longer, but my mind was wondering where Mac was. Finally, as much as didn't want to pry I couldn't help myself. "When Mac comes back can you tell him that I just wanted to make sure he's okay?"
"I haven't seen Mac since you both left a while ago," Ed tells me. "I thought he'd come back but you might want to check his home."
"Okay thanks," I say slowly as I offer him a small smile and a whispered goodnight. Where did he go? I push myself up off the couch and hurry back outside. I try his blackberry but no answer. "Damn you Mac, where are you?"
I call the lab in case we crossed paths when I left but he's no where to be seen. Maybe he did just go home? I call Cyrus and get Mac's home number and dial it. No answer. Okay so now I'm starting to panic. I know he's worried about Paula and I hope he's at a bar someplace trying to drown his sorrow but that's just not him.
I feel my nervous tension starting to rise once again as I near his apartment. I see his truck and frown; maybe he's just ignoring me. And for a spilt second I am very tempted to turn around and leave him be; but part of me just can't give up on him just yet.
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I slowly feel my world coming back to me as I try to open my weary eyes. My brain replays an image of myself walking into my building; walking down the hallway and then being attacked. Panic fills my body as I force myself awake and sit up.
"What the hell?" I mumble as I look around. I'm at home, lying on my bed, untouched. "Did I just imagine that?" I reach for my phone notice only one missed call from Stella.
I push myself off the bed; my head is pounding and my whole body aches. I want nothing more than a shower and good nights sleep. Well at least I'll have one of the two. I quickly shed my suit jacket when I hear a knock at the door.
"Stella?" I ask in surprise as I open it. She eyes with a wondering glance and I frown. Do I tell her? She'll probably think I'm nuts.
"I know it's late but I just wanted to see if you were okay before I went home and tried to get some rest."
"I'll be fine if Paula lives," I tell her in truth. "What did the Chief say?"
"Thanks for the hard work," she replies with a small smile.
"More like thanks for nothing," I shoot back with a sour note.
"I don't know what drives this paranoid obsession?" She asks me.
"And if I said I was attacked just now when I got home what would you say?"
"I would ask if you're okay and what happened?"
"Well I woke up in here so I'm not sure," I frown.
"Anything missing?" She questions.
"No," I answer in a small voice.
"Paranoid obsession," she states firmly. "Sometimes cases are this easy."
"Not for me," I reply firmly. "This guy has played us all again."
"Did you get another phone call?" Stella asks me directly.
"No."
"An email or present of any kind?"
"No."
"Maybe you just need sleep," she tells me in concern.
"Fine, maybe I do," I resign in frustration.
We stand for a bit longer in tormented silence.
"Why do I feel like we're back at square one?" She asks softly.
"Maybe that's where we belong," I tell her and she looks at me in sorrow. "I know it's not what you want to hear but until I'm sure about this guy and I won't rest until have him behind bars or dead at my hands and that's all that will occupy my mind."
"And your heart?" She challenges.
"What heart?" I offer with a grimace.
"Yeah what heart?" She lightly chides. "I guess the heart I thought you once had. Maybe it was me that was wrong all along here."
"Stella, what do you want me to tell you? What do you want me to say?" I lightly plead.
She looks at me without answering and within a few seconds her eyes water and tears threaten to spill; my heart breaks. I am pushing her away and although it's not what I want, it's all I know how to do.
"If you care for someone you shouldn't need anyone to tell you what to say to keep them in your life," she offers in remorse.
"It's been a long time since I really cared for someone and even then it wasn't the same as with you. I don't know what to say!"
"Are you sure?" Stella throws at me. "You want to know what to say to me? Tell me that you have accepted the fact that we caught the killer. Tell me that you have accepted the fact that Paula's current situation isn't your fault. Tell me that you care more for me than some stupid obsession to always being right and winning. Tell me not to leave."
I look at her in misery. I can't tell her that. I haven't accepted that Paula's fate isn't my doing. I can't accept that we caught the guy that easily and that it's the same guy who has been threatening me. And I can't tell her not to leave. I want to, but I can't.
"But you can't, can you," she continues.
"Stella," I try in misery.
"You know when I first heard your name I thought to myself, now here is a man worth getting to know on a professional level. Then when I had to work with you I thought to myself, here is a man worth getting to know on a personal level. But maybe it's me; maybe I'm wrong."
"I have to know for sure," I insist. "I just can't let it go. Why don't you believe me?"
"I want to," she tries. "I really do. But we found the gloves, the knives, the guns and the DNA is only James Marshall and his victims. Mac, he had the Bryce boys DNA under his nails. We found everything that can close this case and let us go about getting on with our lives. I think you want our stalker to be alive."
"What? Why on earth do you say that?"
"Because it's the perfect excuse to be alone; that's what you really want right?"
"Paula is dying because of me!"
"I am not going to stay here and try to convince you of something you obviously don't want."
"Justice?"
"Me."
I look at her in surprise. Of course I want her. Tell her! I can't, he's still out there. And if she dies next then it's my fault.
"Mac, I'm sure that before I came into your life, your life was full of action and spectacular things. Mine was not. You only just assumed that about me. But I was alone and wondering if I would ever find true love. Since you came into my life; it's filled with mystery, fun, passion and adventure. I finally have a reason to look forward to going to work; despite the fact that our present case sucks. And I don't know if I need you in my life to keep that feeling, but I know I want you."
"Stella, I think that..." I start.
"What do you feel?" She asks. "Anything?"
"I would like there to be more but I know he's still out there and right now I need to concentrate on that. I'm sorry. I don't back down from a fight! Not now, not ever," tell her firmly.
"You just did; the fight for us. Take care of yourself Mac Taylor. It seems it's what your best at," she offers and then turns and leaves; allowing me to just stare in silent misery and torment. I reach out a hand to pull her back but it doesn't connect and she doesn't look back.
Damn it! I curse as I head back inside and slam the door shut. Part of my brain tells me to fight for what I want! But the other half says the attack was real and that her life could end if I tell her to come back. So to keep her alive I do the only thing I can back into the shell I have so expertly created for myself.
I head back to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. The haggard reflection that stares back just shakes his head and frowns.
"You lost a good woman, Mac," I tell myself.
"I know," I huff as I turn the shower on. But he's out there, and I need to finish this. Maybe I am Bad Ass Taylor that needs to save the world. Kinda stupid, but I know I can solve this. I have to. Maybe I am obsessed. I think I am. Maybe I'll always be alone. I'm sure that's true. It's what I deserve.
"Sorry Stella," I whisper in misery. "Someday I hope you'll forgive me."
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By the time I push myself out of Mac's building, tears are running down my face and I just can't seem to bring myself to brush them away. I offer one more sad glance up to his apartment which quickly goes dark and then turn and get into my truck and head for home.
Paula had told me he was obsessed with not winning things that mattered to him and as her life hangs in the balance he isn't winning.
"But I only want to help," I offer in misery as I start for home. "Why does he shut me out?"
I know he's scared of losing her but maybe he really wants to spend the rest of his life alone. I dont want to believe that but I have also never believed that a woman should bully a man into anything he doesn't want; especially a romantic relationship.
I finally reach home in a cloud of gloom and misery. I let myself into my quiet apartment and just stare around in sorrow. I was planning on having Mac come over; at least for a quiet dinner, maybe more? But now I fear that dream will never become a reality.
I numbly walk to the bedroom and look at the clock. Almost time to get up but I know I need at least a few hours sleep. So I quickly shed my clothes, put on my night shirt and crawl under the covers; but as soon as I lay my head down on the pillow the tears start again.
"Oh Mac," I whisper in anguish. "I guess this is goodbye after all." And for the first time in years I finally cry myself to sleep.
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I wake up the next morning with a massive headache, mostly from turning Stella away and my tired brain showing images for her dying in my arms. I could never live with that; can't she see that. And while I'm sure I've lost her for good, I know it'll keep her alive and that's all that matters to me now.
It's almost light and I have only had a few hours sleep but need to see if Paula is okay. I slowly push myself out of bed and head for the bathroom. I had a shower the night before but need a quick shave. I glance at the wound on my side and frown. I remember my attacker hitting me and there is a fresh purple mark from the hit, if he knew where to hit that only further cements in my mind that my attacker is still alive and knew that I was injured in the university. I apply some medicated cream and then quickly get dressed.
In no time at all I am once again out the door and racing for the hospital. I hurry inside and head for the ER waiting area. I see Ed talking to one of the doctor's and feel my heart rate starting to rise.
Ed looks at me with a frown but I can't tell if something bad has happened or not. I wait until the doctor is finished before I approach.
"Ed?" I ask quickly.
"She's in a coma Mac," Ed tells me sadly. "Her vitals are weak but steady and thankfully there is no brain damage but her heart sustained a lot of trauma and she's..." he starts and then finally breaks down. I offer a hug and then help him back to the waiting couch and we slowly sit down.
"She'll pull through," is all I can seem to bring myself to say.
"Did you want to go and see her?" Ed asks me.
"Have you?"
"Been there all night," he tells me. "Just after Stella left."
"Stella was here?"
"Came looking for you," Ed tells me.
I offer only a slight wince and a small curse.
"What's the matter Mac? You don't know what to do?"
"The guy who did this to Paula is still out there," I start.
"But the press conference said the guy was found along with all the evidence. You and Stella got a big shout of praise from the Mayor."
"It's a set-up," I insist.
"You tell Stella this?"
"Stupidly yes I did," I huff.
"And she called you paranoid and obsessed?"
"How did you know?" I ask in exasperation.
"Because that's what I would have said," Ed tells me slowly. "Mac, maybe that is the guy."
"I know I'm right," I state firmly.
"And if you lose everything for the sake of revenge?"
"Then at least the only person getting hurt is me," I shoot back.
"You sure about that?" Ed counters.
Of course I'm not sure and so I say nothing in reply.
"Be positive," Ed reminds me as I slowly push myself up and then head into the room where Paula is hooked up to a supply of machines and tubes. My eyes water as I approach her still body and I feel my own blood pressure starting to rise.
"Oh Paula," I whisper as I take a small chair and pull it beside her bed and sit down. "Why you? Why wasn't it me?"
I lean back in the chair and remember what Ed told me before I entered. But sadly all that occupies my brain is negative thoughts. I gently take Paula's hand in mine and hold it carefully.
"I wish I knew what to say," I start in sorrow. "I wish you would wake up right now and tell me what to do. I never had to worry about getting out of line or doing something stupid as you were always there to keep me in check. Oh god Paula, please wake up," I beg in sorrow. I quickly brush away a stray tear and offer a heavy sigh.
"You know I still remember our first case. Ed and I were laughing about that. The tomato guy, remember? That large vat he jumped into. You told me it was part of my civic duty to save his ass," I stop and slightly smile. "I never heard the end of it from the guys when I came back smelling like pizza. But I wasn't mad, okay maybe a little. But if I was to ever do anything stupid for anyone it would be you."
I look around the room in silent misery.
"Well actually I have done something stupid to someone else. I think I just let Stella walk out of my life. I want her to stay but I know the guy who did this to you is still out there. I'm telling you this because I want you to take up and tell me I'm wrong."
Would I listen, I ask myself? No, but at least it might help ease my guilty conscience.
"You knew right? About me and Stella. From the first time you saw us make eyes at each other, you knew right? I tried to tell myself it wouldn't work and that a woman like that would only cause me trouble but I was wrong. So you need to wake up and tell me what to do to get her back."
I feel my eyes water once more as I look at Paula's peaceful expression. "I love her," I finally admit. "Shocking right? Since I've never loved anyone before," I mention in a soft tone. "I love her so much that I'm scared to tell her those three words. I know how can a man like me be scared of words? I'm scared of telling her and it being rejected, of her not responding in kind, shesh Paula tell me that I'm a grown man and I'm being stupid for being sacred."
I lean back in the chair and allow the silence to build once again. "Ed's a lucky man. I wish I was that lucky. I know, me, offering some emotion," I quietly laugh. "So now you can wake up and tell me I'm being silly. You can do that right? Paula? Please? Just wake up and tell me what to do."
I allow another few minutes of silence to pass before I know it's time to take my leave. "I have to go but I'll be back. I need to go and check on my team before we all go our separate ways. I'm sorry."
I gently place her hand back at her side and slowly stand up. I offer a small kiss on her warm cheek and then quickly swallow any more sorrow as I turn to head back outside. Part of me wanted to see Stella waiting, but as I push through the ER doors, it's only Ed who's there.
"She um, she'll pull through," I tell him weakly. "She has to."
"I know Mac," Ed tells me.
"How are you feeling? I forgot to ask and I'm sorry."
"I'll be better when my other half is where she belongs, at my side telling me what to do," he answers with a slow smile.
I can only nod in agreement and then after giving him another quick hug I am out the door and back into traffic; heading toward my lab.
I know Stella and her team will be there and for once my nervous anxiety is the highest it's been in days. What do I say to her? How will she treat me? Business as usual? Do I even deserve that? No.
But as I near the office I haven't gotten any phone calls or messages of any kind and so wonder if maybe this guy really was the one and his last laugh was me not being able to arrest him. But he said I'd die alone? Was it a rouse? Do I really live in peace after all? Am I that lucky? I dont believe in luck so my anxiety is still high.
I slowly walk into the building; my heart is racing at top speed. I pass through the police half and glance at Paula's desk and frown. It's just so wrong that she's not there, offering me her trademark wave and smile. But it's not there and already I feel emptiness starting to consume me.
I head into the lab part and allow myself to be distracted by all the chatter about this morning's new conference. I head into the main lab section and see our two teams and Stella watching the press conference that most of us missed due to the very late night.
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'On behalf of Mayor Carlson, I would personally like to thank the men and women of the NYPD for the diligent efforts to bring to a close this horrible crime. A special thanks to Detective Paula Watford who was shot in the line of duty trying to bring James Marshall to justice. We are told that she's still in a coma in Gramercy Hospital and our thoughts and prayers go out to Ed, the girls and the rest of her family.
I would also like to thank Detective Don Flack, Detective Mac Taylor and Detective Stella Bonasera as well as their teams for their hard work and attention to details that brought this killer to bear. And while he is not alive to stand accountable for his crimes, the Bryce, Greenfield, Ryland and Carlson families can finally have some closure in this dark hour. Our thoughts, prayers and words of concern go out to them all.
In closing...'
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I look over at Stella who simply looks at me and offers a small, tight lipped smile. I want more than anything to tell her something is off and that I need her by my side to make this right; but as I listen to those around me offer their sighs of relief that this is now over and how the families can finally have peace I know it's not my place to make them at odds with this city once again. This is now my fight and I guess I'll be the only one fighting it, alone. Just like usual, I suspect.
"Well guys," I mention, finally forcing the rest of the room to acknowledge my presence.
"Mac," Cyrus smiles. "Good job."
"We all are to be commended," I smile in return. "I really want to thank this entire team and Detective Bonasera's team for their help and cooperation in this and I'm sure Stella agrees with me that while the beginning might have been, well interesting, the end proved valuable." I finish and look to Stella to offer some words but she only nods her head in agreement and smiles to the team.
I know she's mad but she won't bring it up again. Once again it's her silence that torments me.
"So when is our next joint case?" Danny asks eagerly.
"Mac, can we trade Danny for Cyrus?" Lindsay requests, making the room laugh.
"Then you'd never get any work done," I reply quickly.
"Well man," Sheldon says to Cyrus. I tune them out as I head over to Stella. I at least have to be PC about this right?
"Did you um get all..." I start.
"My stuff from your office? I did, thanks," she tells me with a fake smile. "How's Paula?"
"She's in a coma," I reply simply. Why is it really awkward now? Blame yourself my mind tells me. It's your doing. "Well glad this case is over."
"But you don't believe that do you?" She asks in a low tone.
"Does it really matter what I believe?" I counter.
"It did once," she tells me with a stiff expression; like she's trying to swallow tears and I immediately feel guilt starting to cover me once more. "Thanks for your help," she says offering her hand.
"Yes you too," I respond, taking her hand and holding it in mine for a few more seconds than I should. I finally let go but my eyes are still locked with hers; searching, begging for her help and understanding. But she quickly pulls back and the connection is broken and I know to take my leave; knowing it's not the time or place for a heartfelt declaration of love.
"Well guys?" I ask in a firm tone. "Time for a new case?"
"Right, we should be going," Stella tells her team.
"Sheldon, we're still going to the Nicks game right?" Cyrus says as Sheldon turns to leave.
"Yes way man. And those two hot girls better be there," he says making Cyrus offer a sheepish expression.
"No need to wonder when Danny and Lindsay will see each other next," Sheldon offers, once again making the room laugh.
"And when are Mac and Stella going to co-lead a case again?" Lindsay asks with a smile.
And before Stella can answer, I put myself out of my own misery. "Oh I'm sure Stella will be very happy to have me out of her hair and get things back to normal around here."
"I guess we do think alike," she replies with a small smile. Lindsay offers a slight frown but says nothing.
And that was it. She offered me a small goodbye and then walked past me and out of my life; for good I assumed. Oh its better this way Mac, I try to tell myself. Really? In what way?
I watch her and her team head for the elevator, laughing and talking; their lives back to normal, mine forever ruined by a passing thought. Is this really the end?
"So boss," Cyrus starts.
"I need to spend today working on getting this case wrapped up. You two have earned the day off. Just enjoy because I might not offer it again."
"Danny, wait up!" Lindsay calls out and pushes past Cyrus and I. I can only offer a small smile as I watch Danny stop and then talk to Lindsay. I see Stella nod her head yes; obviously following my lead and giving Messer the day off so they can spend it together.
I lock eyes with her for probably the last time; begging once again for help but the elevator door's hiss shut and she's gone from my view and my life. Gone? For good? I think so. I think I just let my future slip away from me. And if had known at this moment that tomorrow my life would be on the brink of extinction, I would have followed after her and not fulfilled a destiny that was written by a madman.
A/N: Think Stella's out of his life for good? Think Mac's stalker is really dead? Think he's finally safe? Think again! Feedback please and thanks