Title: Opposites Attract
Chapter 32 - Back to the Real World?
A/N: Dear readers, I humbly apologize for not giving a shout out to all the faithful readers who chapter by chapter have stuck with this story to give me the support I needed to make it this far. You GUYS ROCK! thanks again and enjoy this sappy chappy (hehe)
I slowly open my eyes the following morning. While it's true the night before wasn't as bad as when Stella was with me, my sleep was still fitful and disturbed; my mind once again only offering me tormented images of my abduction and near death at Charles' hand and I am tired. I keep feeling myself being tasered, tied up and then drugged; carried into the van and the noose tied around my neck. I can hear their taunts; feel Marla's touches; Charles' punches and then being drugged again. I can see myself trying to make a run for it in the woods and then being tied to the post in that god forsaken shack. I feel the sting of the blade each time it enters my flesh and for each cut I wake up in the middle of the night, yelling to be free and cursing their name. I see Carla telling me to hold on; Stella calling my name and then finally looking upon my lifeless corpse while Charles laughs in the distance.
And while I know the images will subside it just can't be soon enough as I once again wake up tired and angry.
"I need Stella," I huff as I push some sweaty hair off my forehead and then force myself out of bed. I head into the bathroom; remove my night shirt and notice some red marks on my chest and frown; the stitches are starting to strain with every movement and are aching to come out. I hurry to the phone and call Dr. Adams to make an appointment to have them removed today.
"Mac," he sighs. "You need time."
"It's been almost a week! I can take them out myself if you need me to," I mention in haste.
"Don't you dare," he huffs. "Mac..."
"There is no bleeding or infection but they are starting to hurt like hell and need to come out. Trust me I'll be careful."
"Come in and see me when you are ready."
"Thanks," I tell him as I hang up. With that bit of good news to start the day I hurry into the bathroom and turn on the shower.
XXXXXXXX
"Welcome back to the land of the living Stella," Sheldon greets me as I walk into the office early that morning. "How does it feel?"
"Feels like I have been away for an eternity," I offer with a slight smile as I watch Danny approach. "Back to the old team," I offer and Danny looks at me with a frown.
"Yeah Danny's still mad about Lindsay not working here any more," he smiles.
"Danny, she has a home," I tell him.
"Why couldn't we have joined forces?" Sheldon inquires.
"Sorry guys, Mac has his lab back and his team and we need to respect that. Plus there isn't enough room here for all of us. You want to draw straws to see who we leave beind?"
"Uh Cyrus," Danny pipes up.
"No way at least Cyrus worked, with Lindsay here..."
"Okay children," I huff.
"How about another space?" Sheldon suggest.
"We don't have the money for that," I offer with a frown.
"So what about that spare office?" Danny asks.
"It stays empty for now. Sorry guys it's not going to happen. Did Flack close the Gibbons file?" I ask, hoping to change the subject and not allow me to wallow in my misery of not having Mac as my partner on a regular basis.
"Yes he did," Flack tells me as he walks up to my office with a smile. "Morning and welcome back. How's Mac?
"Finally going into work today to get a few things done; he's going stir crazy staying at home doing nothing."
"Nothing?" Flack arches a brow in question. "With you there? The two of you alone? Alone in his apartment?"
"With all his wounds? Yes nothing," I insist and the three men in front of me just look at each other and laugh, making me just roll my eyes. Sheldon and Danny take their leave; a new case to attend to and Flack hangs back.
"So how is Mac? I mean really?"
"Oh he'll have nightmares for some time yet," I reply in concern. "But he's healing nicely and I think he's going to stop by to see Paula before heading into the office, or vice versa," I frown. "Either way I know he's itching to get back into action. I just hope he waits until all his stitches are healed before he does something major, but we all know how stubborn he is."
"Well say hi for me. I know that Jessica already has plans for the four of us," he lightly laughs. "She finally has a new mission in life."
I offer a small laugh as Flack takes his leave and then I lean back in my chair and offer a heavy sigh. However, I am not allowed to dwell on my morbid thoughts about not having Mac here for very long as the phone rings and it's finally time to get back to the real world.
"Adam, what have you got? Yes, I'll be right there."
XXXXXXXX
"So Mac, just because they are out, doesn't mean you have the green light to rush right back into danger," Dr. Adams tells me as he hands me a medication slip to help take down the swelling from the marks the stitches have made.
"Thanks," I offer as I take the slip and slowly head out of the hospital and head for work.
"Mac, welcome back," Lindsay greets me with a hug.
I look at Cyrus and he just laughs. "I'm not hugging you," I tell Cyrus and he offers a slight frown.
"Well welcome back boss," he tells me. "We turned your office into an entertainment room while you were away; hope that's okay."
"Don't worry he took his porn home," Lindsay teases, making Cyrus shoot her an angry glance.
"Did I miss anything important?"
"Yeah Lindsay is mad at you because Danny's not here," Cyrus goads and it's her turn to return the angry glance.
"Anything else?" I ask in exasperation; as if addressing two children.
"A get well soon card from Chavez," he informs me and I just look at him in surprise. "Yeah we were surprised too," he finishes.
"I know you guys liked working with the other team but we do have our own jobs to do, so can I count on you two to be objective?"
"Of course," Lindsay answers quickly. "We just won't enjoy it as much," she throws at me before they take their leave on a new case.
Sadly I can only agree; and while I do enjoy my work very much, not having Stella at my side is going to make the job a little dull in the days and weeks to come. I lean back in my chair and turn on my computer and stare in shock at the large amount of work that awaits me.
"Today is going to be a long day," I offer with a weary sigh.
However a few hours later; my brain still on overload while I try to work my way through the emails and files the phone rings, forcing me to look at the number and smile.
"Hello handsome," Stella greets me and my face warms.
"Hello yourself," I offer in return. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Was thinking about you and actually had a few minutes to spare and thought I'd say hello. Did you see Dr. Adams?"
"He told me to enlist as soon as possible," I offer and she slightly laughs. "Are we still on for tonight?"
"You have a better offer Taylor?" She challenges.
"Don't think that exists," I reply and I can hear the smile in her voice as she answers. "I am just going to stop by Paula's and see how she is. Anything I can bring?"
"Just you is more than enough," she tells me. We talk for a few more minutes before I hang up and then quickly finish my tasks and then head out to see Paula; the day finally starting to take it's toll on me.
"Mac," Ed greets me with a slight hug as I enter.
"Tell me you just took it easy today," Paula tells me as I walk into the living room; eyeing her on the couch just resting.
"Only two fights," I mention in a dry tone as I sit down beside her. "How are you?"
"I'll be back in action tomorrow," she answers in a slow tone. "How's Stella?"
"I want to think she's sick of helping me but she never lets on that she is," I frown.
"She loves you Mac," Paula reminds me, looking at my expression. "What is it? What's really bothering you?"
"We had the talk last night."
"You're getting married finally?" She throws at me and I look up in surprise.
"Funny," I remark in a dry tone. "About us not being partners any longer."
"And?"
"And nothing, just felt her absence today," I huff. "Stupid right?"
"Maybe unnecessary," she starts with a slight frown. "Mac, she's not out of your life for good, you will see her on a regular basis, knowing you it'll be daily."
"But it's not the same."
"Trust me Mac, you can make this work."
"You sound like her."
"I'm a woman," Paula winks. "You're lucky to have her you know."
"She saved my life," I offer with a heavy sigh. "How do I ever repay that?"
"By not taking her for granted again."
"Yeah I learned that the hard way."
"Well we all know you have a hard head."
"I hate it when you're right."
I look up at Paula who offers a kind smile in return. "Mac, I hate to bring this up but I do hope you learned something from this."
"Life is too precious to waste on your own personal vendetta's?"
"Smart man."
"When you were in your coma..."
"Did I hear your confession of love? Yes. Did you tell her?"
"First chance I could speak on my own," I confess. "Should have done it sooner but I'm glad I able to in this lifetime. Thanks for listening back then."
"I was a captive audience." She looks at me in concern as the silence starts to build. "Mac what is it? What is still bothering you?"
"Do you think this will work? You know me and her, long term?"
"Remember when I first told you about Ed and I and how we hooked up?"
"He was in New Orleans and..."
"And I was in DC. We both hated commuter relationships and basically said it was over before it began. Remember what happened next?"
"He took the post in DC?"
"We made it work Mac. That was the key. We both knew we loved each other, almost right from the start and we made it work. And even though we don't work side by side on a daily basis as you two luckily managed for a time we make it work."
"But it's different."
"How? Mac, what are you still doubting?"
"I don't know...still afraid to let my dream come true I guess."
Paula takes my hand and gives it a firm squeeze. "Dreams do come true Mac; you just need to work at them a little."
"I guess with all the changes in my life as of late I am still a bit leery."
"Trust in the two of you before yourself."
"Did you tell Stella to say that?" I ask with a slight laugh and she smiles warmly at me.
"Well it's obvious you care or you wouldn't even be stressing this much."
"I hate change."
"Mac change is a part of life. But speaking of changes; there is going to be a change for us coming."
"My turn to ask what's going on?" I ask her.
"Mac, I have to tell you something," she says, looking at me in concern as Ed comes and stands in the doorway. I look at him and then back to her and feel my nervous anxiety starting to rise.
"What's going on?" I ask slowly. "Paula?"
"Mac, I have some news about me that is going to change things for all of us on a permanent basis."
"What?"
XXXXXXXX
I finally finish up my last file and then reach for my coat and head into the hallway. I walk past the spare office, which is now empty and offer a slight sigh. Today was hard, not having Mac in that office or not having him around in the lab or just not having him around at all, is making my sorrow starting to grow. But I know there is nothing I can do. And while I would like to think that we could join forces, he has to want that as much as me and so I know it's not something I am going to try to push on him; especially with him just getting back in the swing of things after his absence, I put that thought to the back of my mind. Much like myself, he too needs to feel in charge of his team and lab again, and I am not going to rob him of that feeling just yet.
I finally head toward the elevator and then down to the busy street. I am about to hail a cab when I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around with a slight gasp.
"Mac," I smile as I offer him a warm hug.
"I was in the neighborhood," he tells me as he offers me a dozen red roses. I look up at him in surprise and then lean in for a kiss. Once again even now, just when I think I have him figured out he surprises me once again; this time with flowers; another first for us.
"Mac, these are amazing. Thank you."
"You are amazing."
"I missed you today," I whisper warmly as his arm wraps around my waist and he holds me against his warm body.
"Me too," he offers with a slight frown as our bodies start to feel the heat from the closeness.
"How are you feeling?" I ask in concern, my hand lightly resting on his chest, the other holding the flowers.
"Never too tired to hold you," he tells me and I smile. "My truck is parked over there."
We walk toward it in silence, his arm around me and my face still in the beautiful roses he gave me.
"Do you mind if we pick up a few things for dinner?"
"Don't mind at all," he replies.
"How is the team?".
"They miss their new friends," he answers with a slight frown.
"Yeah so do mine," I add; once again neither of us wanting to broach the subject of us working apart. "And did you see Paula?"
"I did," he offers with a heavy sigh, which I am quick to pick up on.
"Is she okay? Mac what's wrong?"
"She's, quitting," he tells me and I look over at him in shock.
"What? Where is she going?"
"She accepted a desk job and I guess in light of recent events I can't blame her," he starts. "She has a lot to lose...Ed the girls...I guess what Charles did..."
"Like almost leaving her two daughters as orphans?" I ask softly and he looks at me in torment.
"Stella, I didn't want to bring that up. I know it's hard for you to think about those things," he tries.
"Mac, it's okay. It's what would have happened. I don't blame her really, she has a lot to lose but more to live for and I think if it were me, I might do the same thing. How are you going to be?"
"I'm still in shock," he huffs. "So used to having her around on a daily basis; not just to keep me in line but..." his voice dies off in sorrow. "Stella, she's been my right hand for so long it seems."
"Mac, it's not your fault. You know that right?" I ask lightly.
"In time I might believe that," he tells me in torment. "Maybe if I hadn't..." he starts as I look into his eyes and see misery and lean over and give him a kiss; stopping his words.
"She'll never blame you and she won't want you to blame yourself," I tell him firmly.
"First you and now her...maybe I was meant to be alone."
"Mac Taylor if you start down the self pity path you will be in trouble."
"Stella, it's because of..." he starts and I put my finger to his lips and stop him.
"Mac this event changed her life, there is no denying that. But it's not your fault and neither of us want you to wallow in self misery like I know you want to."
"How is it that you know me so well?" He huffs and I smile.
"Oh you're not that hard to figure out," I lightly tease. "Did you still want to come up for dinner?"
"It's the one thing I have looked forward to all day," he answers, taking my cheek and kissing it; forcing me to smile once again.
"Well good, because I didn't feel like eating alone either."
XXXXXXXX
"I wish I had better news," I tell her as we head into her apartment and I help her take her coat off. She hurries to the kitchen to get some water for the flowers and I follow after her, carrying one of the small grocery bags and putting it on the counter.
"I'm sure it was a hard decision for her also," Stella tells me as I lean on her fridge; watching her move around her kitchen, preparing things. I offer to set the table as we continue to talk about the day's events.
"I know I'm being selfish but I cant help it," I frown.
"You're human Mac and she's been a big part of our life for a long time. But it's a fresh start and I think she deserves it," she smiles and thankfully she won't allow me to wallow in my new found misery about Paula leaving the force and my mind is back with her and I feel my tension starting to ease. Supper isn't the robust meal I long for but since my stomach is still tender, I'm thankful for the light meal she offered; in truth, I would have been happy coming here and having water. We rest for a little while after supper until Stella stands up and declares its time to call it a night.
"Goodnight," I tell her in haste as I offer her a warm kiss on the lips.
"Mac I wasn't going to..." she starts.
"It's okay," I reply, not allowing her to finish. "I'll see you tomorrow."
She offers me a look of disappointment but no further words as she kisses me in return and we walk in silence to the door. "I love you. Never forget that," she whispers as I hold her close; the heat from her body making me light headed once again.
"I guess I'm just tired. I love you too."
"Are you sure that's all?"
"Yes," I lie and I know she can see through me but thankfully doesn't make an issue about it.
"Mac you can talk to me."
"First day back and..." I start to fuss.
XXXXXXXX
"Do they hurt?"
"They did this morning when the stitches were removed but they are starting to get better now. But they are just so ugly," he replies in a soft tone.
"But they are healing and that's what counts right?"
When I finish he takes my hands and holds them in his strong ones. "When I was there with them, I thought I lost you for good; and when I was near death it was your voice that pulled me back out," he tells me with his eyes slightly watering and my heart picking up the pace. "Thank you just doesn't seem enough to say."
I gently touch his face and he momentarily closes his eyes. I lean in and brush his lips with mine before he slowly opens them once more.
"Our love kept you alive."
"I almost lost that hope."
"Funny thing about it hope it always give you a second chance."
"Like you did for me?"
"Mac, there was no second chance because I don't think we truly broke up. We argued and then Charles just screwed up our reunion time."
"And did this to me. And now I'm reminded of that missed chance due to stupid arrogance."
"Mac, I love you. All of you."
"Stella..."
"No more Mac, no more of this self pity."
"Why can't I ever with win you?" He asks with a slight smile.
"Because you love me?" I smile.
"More and more every day."
XXXXXXXX
However an hour into my nap my mind is once again in turmoil and I have to gently remove myself from Stella's side and head into the living room. I stare into the night in torment; my eyes finally fixing themselves on Stella's concerned expression as I look upon her reflection in the glass.
"I keep feeling everything they did; hearing their words, their laughter, and their taunts. I still feel myself being shocked; tied up and drugged. My mind forces my body to feel each painful knife thrust, my stomach being sick at the taste of my own blood in my mouth and the drugs in my stomach. Each time I close my eyes I see myself dead at their hands. I know it will subside but I hate this!" I offer in anger. "I just want it all to be gone."
Stella takes me by the hand and we slowly wander back to the couch and sit down; her warm hands starting to gently massage my tense shoulders and neck. We sit in silence a bit longer before she finally breaks it with another thought provoking question.
"Do you blame me at all for what happened? I know you will probably say no, but I want you to be honest."
"I was upset at first that you didn't believe me but I wanted you to be safe so really had no one to blame but myself," I admit with a heavy sigh. "I wish it never happened at all and that we were just laughing about something stupid instead of my own narrow minded view of having to do things my own way. I guess I really learned my lesson the hard way this time."
Stella once again offers no words as she knows I just need to let out whatever I still have held up inside my tormented brain. Her body is still warm beside mine and even though she doesn't have to say it right now, I know she loves me and my heart rate starts to calm once again.
"And now that you told me? Do you feel better?"
"Promise you won't say I told you so if I say yes?" I offer and she smiles.
"Thank you."
"Stella, for what?"
"For being honest and loving me enough to tell me the truth that you are keeping inside; I know you are a private man but I feel honored you shared it with me. I know you have nightmares from what Charles did and about us not being partners any more but thank you enough for trusting me and loving me enough to share all your pain."
"I just don't ever want to be a burden to you."
"Mac, that could never be possible just like I know when I confide in you as time goes on that I won't be a burden to you. Right?"
"Stella, I love you."
A/N: okay so kinda sappy once again but a few surprises in store for both of them just ahead...