I don't have a heart. I gave it to you long ago.
I'm so in love with you, I just thought that you should know.

Alex counted down the days, seven months and five days. That was all the time she had left with Piper. Before Litchfield, that would have seemed like an eternity to Alex but stuck behind these same gray walls with the same view and the same people each day for company, Alex knew that those seven months and five days would fly by. She was terrified of losing Piper, it was a feeling she could never shake; it sat at the bottom of her stomach stirring each time she had a moment to herself. Alex couldn't hide her relief as well as she had wanted to when Piper's mom called her to say that they wouldn't be able to reduce Nicky's sentence as she was already serving the minimum time for her crimes. At least she wouldn't be alone, not for a while longer at least. She had a brief conversation with Nicky, repeating word for word what Alex herself had been told and Nicky only nodded and then left, probably to find Lorna. Alex felt bad for her friend but she was glad Nicky hadn't seem to cut up about it - she wouldn't have to be away from Lorna for long. There was still no progress as far as Alex's case was going which was infuriating, the constant sitting in the unknown was almost driving her mad if it hadn't been for the wonderful distraction that was Piper. Ever since their quiet moment on her bunk Piper always seemed to be there, determined to spend as much time with Alex as she could.

Alex was with Piper, they were talking quietly about their time on a beach on Spain when Nicky walked over towards them.

"Hey." Nicky said, blandly and lacking her usual humorous tone.

"Hey Nichols, you okay?" Alex asked, concerned for her friend. Maybe Nicky hadn't handled the news as well as she thought.

"Uh, yeah. I just wanted to talk about what was going to happen after we all get out of here, Lorna is gonna get here as soon as she parks her van up but we can talk later if it's a bad time"

"No, no. Nicky it's fine. Sit down." Piper said warmly, adjusting her position against Alex so that she faced the bunk opposite.

"What d'you wanna know?" Alex prompted gently.

"Well..." Nicky began, quickly interrupted by the arrival of Lorna. It was silent for a few moments whilst Lorna sat down next to Nicky. "I was wondering now that we know that I'm not getting out for a while what Lorna and Piper were gonna do when they were released?"

Piper shared a look with Lorna, Alex guessed the two had already discussed this between themselves.

"Well, the original plan that Alex thought of was that Lorna and I would go to London ahead of you two.." Piper said, her tone telling Alex that she thought it was a ridiculous plan. "But we discussed it the other day," Piper gestured to Lorna, "And we decided we would find a small apartment not too far from the prison so we can visit you two every week before you get out. After that we can do anything."

Nicky nodded slowly and looked from Alex to Piper to Lorna and then back again. "Right. Okay." The relief in her voice was evident, they all knew she cared for Lorna much more than she would dare to let on.

"I think that if my case goes in my favour then I have a chance of getting my time reduced by just over half, so I'll probably be out in a year or so after Nicky - if i stay out of trouble that is." Alex piped up, tightening her hold around Piper's shoulders.

The four of them talked for a while longer about their prominent futures before Nicky and Lorna left for the chapel to get some serious "Prayer time" in before final count. Alex and Piper had laughed and made a few raunchy jokes as the pair left but soon descended into silence.

"Maybe it won't be so bad.." Piper mumbled after a while.

"What won't be?" Alex asked, looking down at her girlfriend.

"Me leaving." Piper looked up at Alex, judging her reaction. "I mean - I'll still be able to see you even if our interactions are limited. You can call me whenever you want and we can write to each other too. It won't be too bad, right?"

Alex sighed, it would be awful, she wanted to say. She decided to humour Piper for now - a little white lie couldn't hurt. "Sure, it won't be the worst thing in the world I guess." Alex did her best to sound optimistic about it but her tone was cold and morbid. She leaned into Piper and kissed the top of her head to silence any thing the blonde had been about to say.

Alex figured that whilst the extra years she was incarcerated at Litchfield without Piper, the days would go a little faster if she knew Piper was there when she needed her. She would still see her, be able to hear her voice and hear about her day and how much Polly still hates her. She sighed and pulled Piper up off of the bunk with her, pushing her lightly. "Go on, it's almost time for final count."

Piper nodded and left, silent. Alex wondered what she had been thinking about and hoped that whatever it was - it wasn't too serious. Alex needed these last seven months to go by without a single hiccup, for both her and Piper's sake. She was glad that they didn't seem to be having too much trouble at the moment, the Bible hicks left them alone for the most part - sparing them a glare every now and then. The guards seem to have relaxed again after Christmas and prison life was back to normal. Apart from Red still not being back in the kitchen.

'Seven months and four days,' Alex wrote the next morning.
Sometimes time seems to fly by so quickly in here, I guess they were right when they said that time flies when you're having fun. I'm writing these letters for you to read when you get out Piper. In part, I'm using this as my own therapy but they're also so that you have a piece of me with you when you leave, a new discovery about me a new conversation. I'm going to do my best to forget that I'm going to actually give these to you soon so that I can be completely honest with how this all makes me feel. No, I'm not going to get all sappy. I am not a sappy lesbian, shut the fuck up.

Seven months and four days. You're already handing out some of your stuff to people because "you won't need it for much longer" it's pretty scary. It still feels like just yesterday you were standing in front of me in your orange uniform screaming. Whilst that was both scary and hilarious, I never thought we would end up where we are today. I'm actually committing and settling down, woah Vause who are you and what have you done with the real me? Just kidding. We've never really talked about the future have we? I mean, before all of this. We were so obsessed with living for the moment - at least I was. Maybe it's good though, it felt like freedom back then. Not thinking that we had to have an endgame, that we weren't really working towards anything; we were just living. Fuck, it was amazing. There was no better way to live, I had money, power and a beautiful girl by my side. I mean the sex was good too, I guess.

Today you've been unusually quiet and although I've been wondering why you have that look in your eye that tells me you're just going to lie about it. I'm probably going to try anyway, I'm a glutton for punishment. Hold on, you're here I'm going to ask you.

Fuck! You're so stupid Piper, I can't believe you would think I would actually believe you were thinking about what you were going to eat when you got out of here. I mean, I know I'm no Smith Grad but give me a little credit at least. You are totally out of it today but I will get to the bottom of this - don't you worry. You better not be planning anything stupid Piper Chapman because I will tie you down to your bunk to stop you from doing anything rash if I have to. Although, you would probably enjoy that. Perv.

I need to go and fold some fucking sheets. I heart you, silly blonde WASP. Alex.

Alex shoved the letter into the space in her private box she had recently cleared for them, they were going to help her and maybe Piper would benefit from knowing all of this - after she left of course. Alex made her way to the laundry room and got to work straight away, shooting daggers at any of the hicks who dared to look her way. Pennsatucky had been reassigned since the 'incident' and so the laundry room was often peaceful and silent. Most days, Alex would consider this a blessing but today the silence was unbearable. She was relieved when Nicky strutted into the room, wearing her tool belt.

"Well, if it isn't my hero in a brown leather belt." Alex smirked, greeting Nicky.

"Hey Vause, I'm meant to be fixing one of the lights in here but I really can't be fucked. Chapman ain't at work today this was her job. What you done with her?"

Alex looked at Nicky, trying to decide whether or not she was being fucked with. "Piper's not at work? Shit, I don't know. I saw her earlier but she was being all weird - tried to tell me she was thinking about food."

Nicky laughed, "And she thought you'd buy that? She must be out of it."

Alex raised her brows in agreement and looked down at the pile of clothes in front of her. Where could Piper be? She wasn't normally this cagey unless she was planning something. "You don't think she would do anything stupid do you? Like, more stupid than the usual stupid shit that she does?"

Nicky shrugged and leaned towards Alex, "I would say no but had you asked me a few months ago if I thought Chapman could beat the shit out of Pennsatucky I woulda' said no then too."

Alex nodded somberly, even she hadn't thought that Piper would have it in her to do what she did to Pennsatucky. Nicky went back to work and the girls worked in silence until lunch, Nicky was serving as a good distraction with her constant humour and so Alex wasn't able to worry about Piper as much as she wanted to. They got in the food line, cracking jokes with each other. Alex was handed her tray and she followed behind Nicky to the suburbs table, at the sight of a familiar bob of blonde hair Alex felt relief wash through her. Then she felt stupid for worrying so much. Calm down, Alex. Alex sat down next to Piper and the two ate in silence for a while, listening to the conversation around them rather than participating, Alex put down her knife and grabbed Piper's hand, the blonde looked at her and gave her a small smile, squeezing Alex's hand. They returned to eating with only one hand now, Alex couldn't help but feel that it wasn't only her who was comforted by the hand holding.

Piper was crying. Alex had no idea what to do, they had been together for almost two years now but Alex still couldn't be rid of the helplessness she felt when she saw Piper like this. Piper didn't often let herself cry around Alex, probably partly because Alex was useless at the whole 'comforting' thing.

"Pipes? Please don't cry," Alex groaned. "I'm sorry okay?" Alex walked over to Piper and took her into her arms, glad when she didn't pull away. Prior to the crying they had been having an argument and Alex cursed her big mouth. "Listen, you know what I'm like - I just get carried away. I'm not going anywhere without you."

Piper sniffled but didn't look up at Alex, "Well maybe you should, what good am I doing here?" She whimpered.

Alex sighed and held on to Piper tightly, "You are doing so much more for me than you realise Pipes. I would have gone stir crazy without you here beside me. I love you okay and I'm so fucking sorry I said what I did. I didn't mean it."

Piper finally looked up at her, her eyes red and puffy. "Are you sure?"

Alex smiled warmly down at her girlfriend, using one hand to wipe her tears, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She leaned down and planted a quick and sweet kiss on Piper's lips and then hugged her, she still felt terrible for making Piper cry but she seemed to know just how to push all of Alex's buttons sometimes.

"I love you too," Piper mumbled into Alex's shoulder. Alex felt Piper's hands reach around to grab one of Alex's and she intertwined their fingers; locking them together.

"Jesus, Alex! Quit daydreaming, let's go!" Nicky hollered at her. Alex shook her head and saw Piper looking at her, smiling. Alex returned the smile and brought their clasped hands upwards so she could place a kiss on Piper's hand before releasing her palm and going to dump her tray. Alex's mood was much brighter for the remainder of the day, she joked around with Nicky whilst she did the slowest repair job Alex had ever seen.

"So Nichols, how's life with Morello?" Alex asked, a slightly smug smile on her face.

"Fan-fucking-tastic. I haven't been this sexually satisfied since.. well, ever." Nicky laughed loudly, much to the dismay of the hicks who were hiding somewhere in the back of the room.

"I'm sure she feels the same way," Alex chuckled. "I'm just glad you're not fucking pining over her like a lovesick puppy anymore, Jesus, I thought I had seen it all but that - that was something else." She chided.

"Yeah, yeah. Alright, Vause. Like you're one to talk. Miss 'Piper was different' " Nicky returned the jab, grinning.

"Touché." Alex surrendered, laughing now. Nicky had her.

After dinner, which was a tedious affair she headed back to her bunk with Nicky in tow. There had been no sight of either Piper or Lorna at dinner.

"You think they're plotting something?" Alex joked as they sat down.

"Probably devising a way to force us into getting hitched to them. They're devious those types, I'm telling you."

"You ever thought about getting married one day?" Alex asked, her tone serious now.

Nicky looked at Alex dubiously, "You about to propose to me Vause?"

Alex narrowed her eyes at Nicky, "I'm being serious, Nicky."

Nicky shrugged, fiddling with the coarse blanket beneath her. "I dunno. I never thought I would get married but with Lorna... It's different. I can see myself actually having a future with her, you know?"

Alex nodded, oh she knew. "I always told Piper that marriage and settling down wasn't me but I'm not so sure about that anymore.I mean if it's what makes her happy then it can't be too bad."

Nicky laughed at Alex, "You can't marry her just because it makes her happy, dumbass. You've got to want it too."

"I know. I just - The only thing I know I want is her, everything else is kinda a blur."

"Maybe you need some new glasses."

Alex pushed Nicky lightly, chuckling. She supposed marriage wasn't as much of an absurd idea as it had once seemed. Just because you got married didn't mean you had to have the white picket fence and a house in the suburbs. They could still be free, visit any place they wanted on a whim. It wasn't totally impossible. She also supposed that being married to Piper wouldn't be the worst thing in the world either, it would at least mean they were tied to each other and right now, that kind of commitment had never seemed more appealing. Nicky left a while after that to go and talk to Red. Alex stayed on her bunk for a few minutes longer before she decided to go and try to find Piper, she started outside first. Heading towards the track she heard the familiar pounding of feet on the hard ground, she stood by the fence and watched Piper run. "What are you running from, Piper..." She mumbled to herself.

"Certainly not you," A voice quipped from behind her.

Alex jumped, startled and turned to find Morello behind her. "Oh, hey." She laughed, somewhat nervously. "Didn't see you there."

Morello nodded and joined Alex by the fence to watch Piper run, "I know you're worried about her." She stated. "She tells me stuff like that, points out how she can tell what you're feeling without even having to ask you; it's pretty interesting really."

Alex stayed quiet, listening to Morello. She and Piper had become better friends than she had originally thought.

"She's been out here for a while, she don't stop at all, like she's a robot or something." Lorna mused, glancing towards Alex. "Listen, Alex. We haven't talked that much so I know it's probably not my place to say anything but I'm worried about Piper. Well, I'm worried about the both of you really." She paused, gauging Alex's reaction to her words and when Alex didn't tell her to mind her own, she continued. "I think you're both pretending to be much more okay with all of this than you're letting on and it's gonna destroy what you have if you're not honest with each other. Piper told me that you've talked about how all this made you feel - not just her leaving now but before too. But I can tell that you're probably just trying to protect her still.." Lorna trailed off, looking at Piper again.

Alex nodded, her face grim. She had avoided talking about that stuff with Piper at all costs, sometimes it just wasn't worth the pain that it caused. "I'm trying to be strong for her, Lorna. Sometimes the only way I can be strong is to block all that out." Alex surprised herself with her honesty, the admission felt like it was more to herself than to Lorna.

"Maybe you should just be strong in a different kinda way Alex. You don't always have to pretend everything's okay to look like you're strong." Lorna offered Alex a smile, "Anyway I'm off to find my girl - you go talk to yours. If she ever stops running."

"Thanks Lorna." Alex said as the short woman walked away. Alex turned to look at Piper again, mulling over what Lorna had said. Maybe she didn't always have to be strong for Piper but it was almost second nature to her now to protect the blonde, if that meant locking away her emotions then so be it. Alex eventually settled on the grass deciding to wait till Piper stopped running before she would do or say something.

It had been almost an hour since Alex had started watching Piper and Piper was yet to even stop running for a moment to just catch her breath. Alex frowned, she knew Piper was a runner but she was sure that going non stop like that wasn't good for your health. She stood and strode over to the track, waiting for Piper to get closer to her before reaching out with a hand and grabbing Piper's shirt, dragging her to a stop.

"The fuck!" She growled before turning to see who had grabbed her. Her face softened at the sight of Alex.

Alex surveyed Piper silently, the blonde was breathing heavily now, her face red and covered in sweat. "Piper you okay?"

Piper wheezed and nodded her head before stumbling backwards a little.

"Okay sit down right there." Alex demanded, frustrated at Piper's lack of self-consideration. "Are you trying to fucking kill yourself? How long have you been out here?"

"Not that long." Piper managed quietly, her breathing slightly more in control.

"Don't try and bullshit me again Piper, I've been out here for an hour already and Morello told me you were out here before that too."

"Fine, a few hours. I don't know, I lost track of time."

Alex sighed and plopped down next to Piper, rubbing her shoulders. "You okay, kid?"

Piper nodded sullenly, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

Alex laughed, "Yeah sure, I'll do my best not to."

"I thought I was gonna be way more ripped than this when I got out of here, I'm almost disappointed."

"You could always participate in a different kind of exercise with me," Alex remarked, smirking.

"Oh you would enjoy that huh?"

"Muchly."

Piper leaned into Alex and let her head rest on her shoulder. Alex turned her head to kiss the top of Piper's, inhaling the scent of her. Despite her being sweaty, Piper still managed to smell sweet; as if she bathed in rose water. Alex thought that she wouldn't mind drowning if it was Piper she was drowning in. She wrapped her arms around Piper and led her so that they were both laying down on the grass, looking up at the slowly darkening sky. They still had a little while till final count and the guard wasn't paying attention to them.

"You are the most addictive thing I have ever come across." Alex murmured, breaking the silence.

Piper chuckled, "That is truly something, coming from a drug dealer."

Alex smiled and turned so that she lay on her side, facing Piper who now had her eyes closed. She forgot what she was going to say as she silently observed the beauty in front of her, how had she let her walk out of her apartment ten years ago. Piper hadn't changed much, there were a few signs here and there that she had matured but Alex decided they only added to her beauty.

"Stop staring at me, weirdo." Piper muttered, trying to hold in a smile.

"I wasn't staring, I was observing." Alex countered.

"Whatever you say, Stretch."

Alex gaped at Piper. "Did you really just-"

"You bet."

"Oh I'll make you pay for that."

"Oh yeah? How?" Piper opened one eye, a smug smile plastered on her face.

Alex let her hands trail down Piper's waist and arched a brow at her girlfriend, "Give me five minutes and a utility closet and I'm sure you'll find out."

Authors Note:

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, I had a great day and I'm pretty sure I ate the equivalent of myself in pizza and cake. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviews my story, they really give me the push I need to work harder at making this the best I can. I want to send out a special thanks to Maritexxam, ToTheBarricades and bluepaintbox for your continued support from the very beginning of this fic, your reviews are very much appreciated and they make my day. Of course, thanks to everyone else who both reviews and takes the time to even read this in the first place!

As always, please leave a review and I hope you enjoyed reading :D