Clowns Are Terrifying
Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece
--
"Just...sit back and here a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship. The mate-,"
"Axe,"
"Yeah, Kairi,"
"Do all of us a favor and shut up,"
"But-,"
"Just. Shut. Up,"
Bored out of his skull, Axe lay back on the deck of their small and newly acquired ship, having set sail a few hours ago from Kohaku. It was fun to get out with crewmates of his own and making sure that things were going well, but after a few hours, things got dull rather quickly. A large fish jumped out of the water, wiggled in the air and splashed back down.
"How many fish is that?"
"I dunno, lost count,"
Axe yawned and sat up, stretching, "I knew that not everyday of being a treasure hunter would be exciting, but the first day with the crew?" he shook his head, "Fantastic, just frickin' fantastic!"
"Not only are we bored, but I think we're lost," Kairi muttered.
"Why do you say that?" Toby asked her.
Kairi held up a finger, "One, we have no map. Secondly, I'm pretty sure we're drifting around and around," she shot a light glare at Axe, "We're lost! I thought you said you knew how to drive this thing?!"
Axe scratched his head, "I said I knew the basics, I'm no expert on sailing. If I was, I would be both navigator and captain instead of just a good looking captain with an over-sized weapon!"
Both Toby and Kairi facefaulted, Baka...
"How are you guys feeling, by the way?" Axe asked his new nakama, wanting to change the subject, "Still sting?"
Kairi's hand went to her shoulder while Toby's hands went to the large bandages around his chest.
"My shoulder's healing, I think. It doesn't hurt as much anymore, but I'm no doctor,"
"Same here,"
"Okay, note to self, get a doctor and a navigator ASAP," Axe scratched his chest idly, "Otherwise, we'll be lost and you guys will be covered in so many bullet wounds, you'll look like cheese,"
Toby tilted his head, "What if you get shot?"
Kairi snorted, "You don't know this guy. He's got really hard skin thanks to the Kachi Kachi no Mi,"
"Ooh...," Toby looked at Axe closely, "Interesting...," his eyes moved slightly to the side, seeing something behind his new leader, "Uh, guys?" he raised a finger and pointed towards his sighting, "Who's that?"
Kairi and Axe followed his finger to see a large ship in the water a short distance away from them. It was a large, brightly colored ship that seemed to carry a red and white striped tent or two on the deck.
Axe tilted his head, "When did circuses perform on the open seas?"
"A circus?" Kairi's eyes lit up, "Oh, great! I love the circus!"
"You know what the circus is?"
"Hey, I may have been living on the same island all my life up until now, but there were many performer troupes that came and entertained for the children at the church,"
Toby cleared his throat and nodded towards the ship, "Uh, do circus ships usually have cannons and that sort of flag?"
Axe and Kairi looked closer at the ship and indeed found cannons outlining the outer area of the ship. There was at least three or maybe even four masts complete with sails and black flags on top with skulls and crossbones.
Wait...skull and crossbones? Axe squinted at the black flags and saw that they were showing off a skull and crossbones, meaning that this ship was a pirate ship, but for some reason, it had a large, red, round nose, much like a clown's nose on the skull.
"Huh...now, why does that look familiar?"
---
"Axe?"
"Yes, Kairi?"
"I hate you...so much,"
"Aw, you don't mean that,"
It was one thing to spot a pirate ship that looked like a traveling circus troupe, but it was a whole other thing when the people who spotted the ship waved the ship and it's crew over and climbed on board. Because of those actions, suggested by a certain rock-head, the three treasure hunters were now in different situations.
Toby was being pinned down by a giant lion's paw, Kairi was laying on the deck with her arms tied behind her back and her rapier in the hands of a man on a unicycle, and Axe was standing between a large number of pirates and the man who he believe to be in charge.
Kairi winced as she tested the ropes, "Hate him...,"
"How do you think I feel?" Toby asked, wincing as the lion put pressure down on him, "Watch it furball...!"
"So, what brings three flashy brats like yourselves to the ocean?" the leader of group, a very strange looking man with a big, red, round nose in the middle of his face. He had strange tattoos on his face, and wore bright clothing, much like a clown would. He even had, what Axe could only assume, could be tails of blue hair coming out the sides of his bright orange pirate captain hat.
"Well...," Axe started slowly, "We're just traveling together from island to island and we happened to come across some fine people like yourself," he bowed his head in respect, "If you don't mind me asking, but aren't you the fearsome Buggy the Clown, leader of the Buggy Pirates?"
The clown smiled wickedly, "I see you've heard of me, boy,"
More like read about him thanks to certain people back home. I'm just glad I remembered his face in time... Axe thought to himself as he nodded, "Oh yes, who hasn't heard of the great Buggy the Clown and his terrifying Buggy Pirates?"
Buggy let out a short laugh, "You're either a fan of my work, or you're a liar trying to get into my good graces with flattery...,"
"Oh, I'm just a hunter. Not one for bounties, however," Axe added quickly, seeing Buggy's eyes twitch, "My friends and I...," he waved a hand to his two comrades, "...are mere treasure hunters and we are extremely lucky to have come across such experienced men such as you and your crew, Captain Buggy. Please," he knelt down and bowed his head, "We know that we are no match for your strength and we wouldn't dare challenge you or your men, but allow us to learn from such great masters,"
"Hmm...," Buggy looked at Axe and his other prisoners for a moment before laughing out loud again, "I like you, kid!"
Axe smiled, Bingo...
--
Kairi and Toby were amazed at what a few words from Axe's well-protected brain and his silver tongue were able to do for them and their situation. They were freed and also allowed to go around the ship to learn from "the great masters" that occupied Buggy's pirate crew. As they went around, being careful not to anger anyone, Axe had a talk with Buggy while munching on a free meal, telling him what they set out to do.
When Buggy heard they were after Roger's treasure, Buggy nearly choked on his meat rack. Once his throat was cleared, he looked at Axe with a mocking smirk.
"You brats think you'll find One Piece?" he scoffed and shook his head, "You have no chance in Hell! Why are you looking for it anyway?" he leaned forward, "You're not thinking of becoming the Pirate King are you, because that's my future title!"
Axe waved his hands quickly, "Oh, no, I wouldn't dare dream of taking that title! The only thing I want is to find One Piece and to be called the World's Greatest Treasure Hunter, that's all! I wouldn't think of stealing the title of Pirate King from the one man who truly deserves it!"
"You may be dumb enough to go into the Grand Line like you are now," Buggy sat back in his chair and grabbed an apple, "But at least you're smart enough to know not to cross me, especially on my ship," he took a bite of the apple, "Where are you from, kid?"
"I'm from the West Blue, Captain Buggy, so is my First Mate,"
"Who's that, the girl or the other guy?"
"The girl. Her name is Kairi and the other boy is named Toby. While Kairi is my First Mate, Toby is my Second Mate. They're the only ones I have right now, but I hope to get at least a navigator and a doctor before I enter the Grand Line,"
"Smart kid, you're thinking ahead, but during that time, you make sure you earn yourself a reputation and steal a lot of gold!"
Doesn't this moron remember I'm a treasure hunter and not a pirate? Axe sweatdropped, Honestly!
"But as for your two Mates, they don't look like much,"
Axe feigned curiosity, "Oh? They don't?"
"Hell no!" Buggy rose from his chair and walked past his guest, "Come on, I'll show you some really flashy guys!"
--
The "really flashy" guys, as Buggy called them, were the man on the unicycle from before and a man who looked like he had an animal costume. Turns out, it was just how he looked naturally, which really surprised the three young adventurers.
"Kids, these are Cabaji and Mohji, my First and Second Mates!" Buggy said with pride as the two men stood before them, "They're the best the world has to offer. Boys, show them what you can do!"
Cabaji the Acrobat, the man on the unicycle, pedaled over to his captain, "Captain Buggy sir, are you sure about these kids?" he asked in a low voice.
"Trust me, Cabaji, I'm an excellent judge of character!" Buggy waved him off, "C'mon, show our guests what you can do!"
The Acrobat glanced at the "guests" and pedaled back over to Mohji, "I don't like this...,"
Mohji glanced at him, "Just roll with it, Cabaji, maybe we'll get something good out of this," he muttered.
"Shut up, Mohji,"
"Show them already!!" Buggy shouted at the two of them, "Mohji, you're my First Mate, you go first!"
"Aye aye, Cap'n Buggy," Mohji turned to the "guests", "I am Mohji the Beast Trainer, and I have an incredible gift!"
Axe raised a hand.
Mohji lost his mojo when he saw that action, "Uh...what, kid?"
"What is your gift?"
"JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME SHOW YOU!" Mohji screamed, pulling out a whip, "There isn't one animal on this earth that I can't tame. I'll prove it to you this very moment! RICHIE!"
Axe turned to Toby, "Who's Richie?"
Toby shrugged, "Lemme ask Kairi," he turned to the First Mate and was about to ask, when he stopped and they both saw she wasn't next to them anymore, "Hey, where'd she go?"
With everyone looking around, it didn't take them long to find Kairi. Much to everyone's surprise, especially Buggy's, Axe's, Toby's, Cabaji's and Mohji's, Kairi was off to the side of the ship with Richie, who turned out to be the big lion that had Toby pinned earlier. The huge animal was on his back, enjoying the tummy rub that Kairi was giving him.
"Aw, who's a good boy? You are!" Kairi gushed as she moved her arms from side to side, scratching his underbelly, "You're such a good boy, aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are! You're just a big, cuddly kitty cat, aren't you?"
"RICHIE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Mohji ran over to them, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM, GIRL!?"
"Just treating him like any cat would want to be treated," Kairi explained as she kept scratching the lion, "I used to have a kitten back home and she always loved her tummy rubbed, just like you, don't you...?" she trailed off and looked at Buggy's nakama, "What was his name again?"
"His name is Richie and he's supposed to be a terrifying lion, not some pussycat!"
Off to the side, Axe, Toby, Buggy and Cabaji watched the event.
Cabaji turned to Buggy, "Who knew that Richie would succumb to that, Captain?"
Axe turned to Toby, "I knew coming on this ship was a good idea,"
"Oh, you did not, shut up!"
--
After about another hour or two with Buggy and his pirates, the three treasure hunters were on their way again. With some words of "wisdom" among other things from "the great Buggy, future Pirate King", the trio were seen off on their borrowed ship with the Buggy Pirates giving them a send-off. As they sailed away on their ship, the young adventurers waved them off, shouting their farewells and everything.
As Buggy's ship shrank in the distance, Axe turned to his crew, "If this oddball's from the Grand Line, I can't imagine who else is out there...,"
Kairi crossed her arms, "I was very surprised. Based off what you told us on the ship, when you had the time, he's supposed to be a cold-blooded pirate who does anything for treasure. How come he didn't kill us?"
"I just boosted his ego," Axe shrugged, "Chances were he'd either be flattered, or he'd be flattered and then kill us,"
Toby and Kairi both facefaulted, Moron...
"You know, I got a very good feeling about this," Axe lay down on the deck, placing his hands behind his head as a smile crossed his face, "From here on, nothing but smooth sailing,"
--
Kilnorc: Okay, I hope I did this okay. I know Buggy was a cold guy in the canon, but I tried my best to work with that and his ego in this. Hope ya'll liked! I especially enjoyed the Richie/Kairi bit, that was fun to do. Also I realize the title doesn't exactly fit the chapter, I just plucked that title outta my head so...pfft.
On the next chapter of Origin...
Toby: Something smells good...really good!
??: Such a beautiful girl! I am at your service!
Axe: He's young, but he kicks ass...really well! I like this guy!
??: Even kids at your age are after that, huh?
The Baratie and the Chefs of Combat
Kairi+Toby: YOU'RE GONNA DO WHAT, AXE?!