Chapter 12
Hermione buried her head into the book she was reading. She was beyond tired from all the stress in her life. She had started receiving letters in response to the many articles speculating about her and Draco's supposed relationship. There were so many different opinions, ranging from negative thoughts on Draco, to threats against her for taking away an eligible bachelor such as himself, which they no doubt wish they could have. Hermione would be lying if she said she had read every single one, when in fact she threw most of them out. It shocked her still to know that people cared so much about her life and who she was seeing. It was none of their business if she wanted to date someone, just like it shouldn't matter what she wore or what was happening in her personal life.
Besides, it's not as if anything was even happening with Draco anyways. They were becoming fast friends, however it seemed as if that was the only direction their friendship was heading it.
It startled her slightly when she had realised that she was starting to really care for him. Over the past few weeks he had become such a constant in her life, and had started to fill a void that she didn't even know that she had. With the absence of family in her life, it probably should come to no shock how much Jamie and Scorpius started to mean to her.
She had spent many more nights with Jamie, even when Draco wasn't present. While part of the reason was to assess his symptoms, most of it was to spend some time with him too. She hated how lonely the boy felt, and wanted to keep him company.
Hermione could relate to Jamie. She didn't have many friends in her pre-Hogwarts days. She liked reading and getting ahead in school while all the other children wanted to play or watch the telly. Even when she got to Hogwarts, she only really had Ron and Harry. In the first couple years there, Harry tended to unconsciously take Ron's side in their fights, leaving her alone for those periods of time. She hated how awful it was to never have anyone, and she wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
"I brought you some coffee," Draco's soft voice called out from behind her. He had decided that both of them needed a break from looking into Jamie's case, since it was going nowhere, and they were both getting rather tired of reading over the same things.
"Thanks," she said as she shot him a grateful smile. He sat in the armchair across from her, and took a sip of his own coffee.
"I don't know if I'll ever find anything to cure him," Draco confessed after a moment. "In all my time as a healer, whenever I was presented a rare case, I researched until I found something, anything, but for the first time, I can't find a bloody thing!"
She reached out and grabbed his hand tenderly, "You've been doing the best you can, Draco. I don't know how Jaime contracted whatever he did, but it was probably something in his genes that remained recessive over several generations, but got triggered with him. It's not a normal case, and whatever it is, we will figure it out together." She pulled her hand away, and for a second, she thought she saw disappointment flash through his eyes, but whatever it was, it vanished quickly.
He smiled faintly at her, "I forgot how stubborn you could be; you never did like giving up at anything. Was there every anything you weren't good at?"
"Flying," she said with a grimace. "It didn't come naturally to me, and no amount of theory could help with it. I think it was because I was also slightly scared of heights."
"Did you ever learn?" Draco inquired. "I know you weren't the biggest Quidditch fan; everyone could see that much."
"I can fly, now," she said softly. "I used to practise after hours; I got special permission for it and everything. I probably should have asked Ron or Harry, but I feel like Ron would have rubbed it in my face that I couldn't do something, and Harry would try and teach me, but he would have been so nice about it, and I don't know…I guess it just felt wrong."
"Are you still scared of heights?" he asked her gently, as he looked right at her.
"No. It was slightly terrifying at first, but I overcame it. I saw flying as something you do peacefully, and for that reason Quidditch never appealed to me. I know everyone thought it was cause I was jealous I couldn't fly, but that wasn't it. Flying was a way to be able to clear all thoughts, and that Quidditch seemed to defeat that purpose," she said reminiscently.
"I thought about it the same way. The only reason I ever joined was because my father wanted me to, but I liked to just be up in the air without any worries," Draco said. "I still do it from time to time now, but not as much. I know if I did, Scorpius would insist that I took him up with me."
"Does Scorpius have a lot of friends his age?" Hermione asked him, as she slightly changed the direction of the conversation.
"Mostly adults," Draco said, sounding regretful. "There's not a lot of opportunities for him to meet others his own age, and while I would have no reservations putting him in a muggle daycare, I don't want to risk him doing some accidental magic. It would be hard to explain. I met most of my friends in school through our families, but none of my friends really have children. Though I suppose if Potter agrees, we could let our children play together," Draco mused. "Why the curiosity?"
"I was thinking about how lonely Jamie must be too. And I know there's a slight age gap, plus hospitals are full of illnesses, but would you consider letting the two get to know each other; just so they both get to interact with other children?" she asked, before quickly adding, "It's just a suggestion. You don't have to consider it; I know how important Scorpius is to you, and I don't want you to risk him getting sick."
Draco shook his head, "Actually, it's a brilliant idea! I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. There are spells you know, for children. It's a precautionary thing, but essentially it makes a transparent bubble around kids, which lets in things like air and other people, but keeps out any sort of harmful molecules, like cold particles."
"Really?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.
"I know what it was like too, to be alone," Draco said, as if he were somewhat reading her earlier thoughts. "I didn't have a lot of people around me during 6th year. I distanced myself from my friends, and refused to let anyone in. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I simply went to Dumbledore. I mean I know he planned his death and everything, but I still could have taken his offer at the last moment, and have avoided facing half the things I did."
By the way he was looking at her, full of pain and regret, she could figure out what he was feeling.
"I don't blame you for what happened that day," she said gently. "Your aunt definitely would have killed you if you tried anything. Besides, I could tell you were trying to keep us safe. You recognised us all the minute we got there, I could see it in your eyes; yet you kept insisting it wasn't us. That enough saved us. It bought us enough time for Harry to figure out how to get us out."
"I have nightmares about it still," he confessed, his face looking hallow. "Dreams where you died because I was weak, and dreams where your screams still echo in my head after waking up. They haunted me more months straight. That day was the moment I knew that I was on the wrong side. I never wanted any of it, and while I may have believed in Pureblood superiority growing up, that day wiped those thoughts clear from my head. All I wanted to do was save you, and keep you safe from it. If I didn't have my mother to protect, I would have killed my aunt that day."
Hermione felt tears drip down her face. She would be lying if she said that day didn't haunt her dreams as well. She stood from her chair and embraced Draco in a hug. He had gotten up as she approached him, but it was clear that he was not expecting her actions by the way he froze. He eventually wrapped his arms around her tightly. She could feel his tears as well. She pulled back enough so she could cup his face.
"Draco, don't blame yourself anymore okay?" she asked him gently. "You saved me then, and you saved me now. If it weren't for you, I would still probably be ignoring all human contact other than those I encounter professionally. Let me heal you the way you've been healing me."
His eyes met hers, "What if I don't deserve saving? Just because the ministry decided I was innocent doesn't make it true. I've seen so many things. I might not have killed anyone, but I've seen so many cruel innocent deaths. Even those of people I care about. There were so many times when I should have stopped it, but I didn't. There were so many times I let people down when their loved ones died. What if these memories are my penance for my actions?"
"No," she insisted fiercely. "You stopping it only would have got you killed. And once you died, they would keep killing. It wouldn't have helped a thing. Please, believe me," she pleaded.
She didn't know how it happened, but somehow she needed for him to realise what his pain was doing to her, and she needed him to see that she was right. It hurt her to know that he blamed himself for what happened to her. She broke free of the hug, so she could see all of him.
"Hermione…" he began to say in protest, before she cut him off.
"No. I don't blame you for what happened that day, and I know Harry doesn't either. If Ronald wasn't such a bloody tosser then I'm sure he would be admitting it too," she said fiercely. "Now, are you done?"
He looked defeated, "Fine, you insufferable woman," he said, throwing is hands in the air. "Now, can we get back to the research?" he asked, sounding slightly embarrassed for his weakness.
She nodded. "I sent letters to a few of the older libraries around the world, asking if they would let me borrow some of their early journals, or at least copies, so I could go through them. We might be able to find a mention of this disease; it couldn't have just sprung up from nowhere," she said rationally, as she handed him one of the books.
"How did you manage that?" he asked her incredulously. "Anytime I, or one of my colleagues asked, were told that these books were not available for public use."
She shrugged, "I might have signed the letter as Harry Potter," she said nonchalantly. When Draco raised an eyebrow at her, she defended her actions, "He lets me! He told me one day that if I needed something, and they wouldn't give it to me, just sign using his name. I think he was getting frustrated that I kept asking him to send owls to different places for things I needed for a case. As much as people are willing to help me, they are far more inclined to help Harry."
He laughed at that, "I'm sure you've only been using it for noble reasons," Draco said, teasingly. "I doubt you would use it to place a large order for something you didn't even need."
"Only for things relevant to my job," she confirmed with a smile, "Wouldn't want Harry to take away my privileges, now would I?"
"Perks of knowing the boss," he said, with a shake of the head. "Did you ever see yourself working for your friend, and not being in charge of your own department for something else?"
"I thought about it a bit, but I didn't want to work for something I wasn't passionate about. I chose research, but I wanted to keep fighting from the sidelines. I asked Kingsley for advice, and since he was the Head of the Auror department at the time, he allowed me to make my own subdivision of the department. I got to choose my own team, and my own job description. It was basically everything I ever wanted. I was glad it was Harry who took over since I've knew him, and I knew he would continue to let me do what I wanted, as long as it was within reason," she told him.
He nodded in understanding, as a comfortable silence fell between the two of them. Draco started reading the book she gave him, and she took another book from the pile and sat back down in her chair. Hopefully, this book would contain what she needed to know.
Theo was watching Scorpius play with a toy that he had bought him in Diagon Alley. It must have been nice to be so peacefully ignorant of the rest of the world, and not to have a single worry. The boy seemed so blissful, and he reminded Theo of the innocence he had once had before Pureblood Society had dictated he start to act a certain way.
He had barely bought half the ideals he had been feed as a child. When he was 10, he had heard his mother and father fighting, and the next thing he knew, his father had told him that she was gone. He didn't know it at the time, but when he had asked his father about it later, he had admitted to killing her over Theo's upbringing, and her very different ideas on how it should be.
He had refused to join the Death Eaters for as long as he could. He didn't care for threats against his father, as Draco and Blaise had for their mothers, nor did he care for threats against his life. It was only after he had forced it out of Blaise that Voldemort was torturing his friends as a way to convince him, that he had caved and given in. even then, he didn't kill freely. He was rarely put in a situation where he would have to, so if he could, he did everything in his power to ensure the victim lived, no matter how much pain they were subjected to.
"Uncle Theo," Scorpius said, as he looked up from the toy he was currently playing with.
"Yes, Scorp?" he asked the boy.
"Where's daddy?" he asked curiously. Scorpius loved his father, and while he was fine with the fact that his father couldn't always be around, he liked knowing where he was when he was gone. Scorpius in n way grew up the way Draco did, in the sense that his father was always working and had no time for him. Sure, Draco probably never needed to work a day in his life, due to the wealth they had. But it helped pass the time, and gave him a sense of purpose. However, Draco made sure that Scorpius never was on his own for too long. Generally, he would stay with one of them for a few hours, and then Draco would make sure not to work late so he could be home for him.
"He's with Hermione, doing some work," Theo said, as he surmised what Draco had told him. He didn't know what was going on between the two, but Draco had assured him that tonight was just work, in a response to his teasing.
"I like Minnie!" Scorpius said, as his eyes lit up. "She's nice. Does daddy like Minnie?"
Damn; the boy was very inquisitive. "I think he does, Buddy. But how about we keep that as a secret," Theo said, as he gave him a conspiring wink.
"Do you have a Minnie?" He asked him.
Theo was silent for a moment. He had spent most of his years with feelings for a particular witch. However Pansy Parkinson was always cared for by someone else. In school, it was Draco, even if it wasn't something based on actual feelings, but for alliances. After the war, she had gone to Paris to escape from her memories. He would have chased her down but he had heard from Draco that she was seeing some French noble wizard. He had been trying to move on; he had seen several witches since then, but none ever felt right. When he saw her the other day, his hopes soared again, and he asked her to coffee. He didn't know if it was a date or not, but hopefully, at the very least, it could lead to a stronger friendship.
"No," he said wistfully. "I wish I had a Minnie. Maybe one day though," he said softly.
"Will Daddy marry Minnie?" Scorpius asked, going back to his fixation. "Mommy and Daddy aren't married anymore. Does that mean he'll marry her?"
"Would you be okay if they were dating?" he asked the boy curiously.
"Yeah! Then I can eat lotsa ice cream! Minnie gives me extra!" Scorpius said, enthusiastically.
Theo couldn't help but chuckle. Well, at least Draco would know that he wouldn't have opposition from his son if he ever decided to make a move on the woman he was clearly very taken with.