Hotaru's Pain
I was in the lab with daddy one day and there was a big explosion. Everyone died except for us. Why? Why do I feel different? My body feels strange. Something has changed about me. People shun me for my weak body and ability to heal others. Now I feel like a freak. I will never have any friends only people who are scared of me.
I wish that Kaori would leave me alone and quit acting like she cares. She was one of daddy's assistants but for some reason was not there the day of the explosion.
There is that pain again. The pain that is in my heart and in my spine. Daddy said I am half human and half machine. It was the only was to save me. He said that I actually stopped breathing for a few seconds. Wow I guess that means I have died and come back. If people think that muscles ache when tired then people have not idea the pain of being like me. The "joints" between the metal and muscle hurt worse than any muscle cramps.
There is probably no one in the world is as lonely as I am. I feel like there is something inside me. There is a darkness nawing away at my soul. Does my kind have a soul? Does a person's soul lessen as the body becomes more machine than flesh? One day I fear the creature inside me will win and these black outs and memory losses I have will be forever.
When mama was alive before the explosion we were happy. We were a family. I was loved. I want someone to love me again. I want to smile again.
I was inspired by a fic about Hotaru, Makoto and Setsuna being the only Senshi still alive and Hotaru kills herself.
The fic that inspired this was Midst Heaven and Hell .net/s/609927/1/
Senshi Diaries by DavisJes
Senshi Diaries © DavisJes Dec 2008
Sailor Moon © Naoko Takeuchi