Supppppp…….
Virtual pinch and a punch for the first of the month!
The food for today it steak….its what I'm having for dinner…
Rosalie, Bella, Emmett and Edward were sitting around the table in the cafeteria of Forks high. Nothing unusual there, right? WRONG! For a change the Cullen's (minus Alice and Jasper, who were away on their 294th honeymoon) were actually eating. Everyone was watching them, seriously WTF? Since when do the Cullen's eat? It was so weird and everyone wanted to know what was going on. Jessica and Lauren being the up themselves skank-hoes that they were they decided it was their job to find out. The sort of strutted up to the Cullen table and demanded to know what was going on. Jess then asked if she could talk to Bella in private.
"Bella!" She whispered, "Why the hell are you number one, eating, and number B why of all the things you could eat, are you eating steak! It has like 300 calories. EWWW!"
Bella being the awesome vampire she is replied simply with, "I like blood."
That freaked the shit out of Jess who ran away screaming "BELLA IS A BLOOD SUCKER! BELLA IS A BLOOD SUCKER!" No one actually believed her though and so they all laughed at her and decided that the Cullen's must be really cool if they could eat steak. So everyone at Forks High decided that they would eat steak! I mean, come on, everyone LOVES steak. Except for skinny skank-hoes like Jessica and Lauren who thought eating meat was just like, oh my Carlisle, ew..! Seriously, who does that?
The next day though, much to Bella's amusement she was walking down the street and outside a sandwich shop she saw Jess, wait for it….she saw Jess wearing a steak costume. Turns out she was advertising the new steak sandwich you could buy at this sandwich place. Bella knew that she could have some real fun with this and so snuck up being hind her and growled menacingly, "I LIKE BLOOD!" Jess once again had the shit scared out of her and ran away, but as she was dressed as a steak she just sort of stumbled a few steps and fell into a convenient puddle of mud. Not that a puddle of mud is a rare thing in Forks, 'cause it rains all the time and stuff. Anyway, she fell into this puddle of mud which Bella used to her ability as she screamed, "I LOVE MY STEAK BLOODY AND DIPPED IN BARBECUE SAUCE."
Jess then shat her pants and fainted as Bella walked away chuckling rather evilly to herself.
I admit that was probably pretty shit.
But OH WELL!
REVIEW AND TELL ME IT WAS SHIT..
PLEASE?