Godric's Hollow, 7 pm, July 3 1979
Regulus entered the Potters' house in Godric's Hollow. Lily and James had been very kind to him after Moody left and didn't treat him like an enemy at all. They even conjured up a bed for him to sleep in. Last night James and Regulus had talked about Hogwarts and, more important, Quidditch. Regulus had become Seeker for the Slytherin Quidditch team at Hogwarts. James Potter had been a Gryffindor Chaser in the same period. James had attempted to bring Regulus's relationship with Sirius up, but Regulus found it too difficult to discuss it. Regulus also felt it was up to Sirius and himself to sort their differences out.
When dawn had come earlier this day the three of them had eaten breakfast together. James had left to do (top secret) business for the Order and Lily went on to clean the house. Regulus, feeling idle and restless, had left the house to roam through the hills and moors surrounding Godric's Hollow. The Potters had done well in choosing Godric's Hollow for their home, the countryside was beautiful and peaceful. It had made him forget that there was a wizarding war going on and that he had taken sides in that war. The wrong one, Regulus had thought. Regulus had been thinking a lot while walking. About Voldemort, his allegiance to him, how his parents had been completely wrong in their beliefs and how his own adherence to those beliefs had caused a rift between him and Sirius. Even though his parents had misled him, he still cared about them and wondered whether they were safe. He had also thought about Kreacher and whether Kreacher was worried about Regulus not having come home the night before. He hoped Kreacher stayed put and wouldn't go looking for him. It wasn't safe for him to leave No. 12 Grimmauld Place.
Lily had been preparing supper when Regulus entered, because the sweet smell of cooked food filled his nostrils.
Lily greeted him: "Hello Regulus. What have you been doing all day?"
"Walking and thinking", Regulus answered.
Lily put three plates on the table, beckoned Regulus to sit down and sat down herself. Regulus went to sit at the table.
Lily smiled at him and asked: "Thinking about what?"
Regulus sighed: "About my life and how futile it has been until now".
"Come on, every person is worth something. Even if people go astray they sometimes will be able to find the road again", Lily said.
Regulus frowned slightly and replied:
"You are more optimistic than I am. I am constantly wondering whether I'm making the right choice. I love my parents, I still do. I am worried for their safety. You know what the Dark Lord can do when he's upset. He won't overlook any treachery, not matter how small it is. I have spent so many years pleasing my parents that I am afraid of failing them now. If they were to find out about my change of heart I am sure they would disown me and cast me from their sight, as they did with Sirius. Sirius....". Regulus paused before continuing: "I fear his reaction too. We haven't spoken for three years and even before he left home, we didn't speak in any other words but curses and insults".
Lily took Regulus's hand into hers and said:
"Things can't be that bad. There must have been better times in the Black household too?"
Regulus felt a little, nostalgic smile come to his face when his mind wandered off to his earliest childhood memories. He answered Lily:
"Yes there were better days. Long before Sirius and I even knew what blood purity meant and the Dark Lord's name meant as much to us as Beedle the Bard's. Sirius has always been the big strong brother. He used to sneak through the house making objects fly, just to make me smile. Mom didn't like that a bit. Sirius was better than me in almost anything, but he was no good on a broom. You should have seen his face when I rode the broom perfectly while all his efforts failed. It was priceless".
Regulus looked at Lily, who was listening attentatively. Regulus's smile vanished and the frown on his face returned as he continued speaking:
"But as we grew older there was ever more talking about politics and blood status. My parents were grooming Sirius to be the Black heir, but he wouldn't listen to them. After a few years they gave up on him and they showered me with all their hopes and attention. I think I succumbed to that. I've never been strong, like Sirius. A great athlete, but easy to sway by opinions. Sirius was the Gryffindor after all. I think Sirius was jealous because of the affection our parents had for me and the Sorting widened the gap even further. He landed in Gryffindor, while I ended up in Slytherin. We were brothers, but driven miles apart by this invisible barrier. Sirius and I became part of a rivalry, between our houses and between our ideas. As I told you, I wasn't strong and I succumbed to peer pressure and the dominant ideas in Slytherin. And the rest is history".
Lily looked at him, pity in her eyes. Suddenly she clenched her hands around Regulus's hand and her face turned serious as if worried by something.
"I have a question too", Lily said.
"What question?", Regulus asked.
"How is Severus Snape doing? He and I used to be friends", she said gravely.
"I know he's making quite a 'career' as Death Eater. He enjoys the confidence of the Dark Lord. That is something rarely seen, I think he gives him important information or something. I remember seeing the two of you together often. I know he was upset when he lost your friendship . There was never much doubt in Snape's mind about joining the Dark Lord I think, but Malfoy only succeeded in gaining his pledge to the Dark Lord in Snape's sixth year. I can tell you, that's quite late. I have known people who wanted nothing more than fight for the Dark Lord when they weren't passed thirteen yet. But when Malfoy asked him again in sixth year Severus didn't hesistate for long".
Lily let go of his hand and looked around, somewhat sad.
Regulus noticed her sadness and said: "It is never easy to see friends making the wrong choices".
"No, it isn't", Lily said softly with a slightly tearful voice, even though she wasn't crying.
Regulus changed the subject: "Anyway, I wish to thank you and James for placing faith in me and for giving me shelter in my time of need".
Lily's sadness vanished and she said: "You don't have to thank me, or James. We thank you for informing us on the Horcrux and for giving Sirius the opportunity to see you again".
Regulus didn't comment, but he wasn't so sure about a reconciliation between him and Sirius. No sooner had he thought this or he heard the front door open and the sound of two voices filled the adjacent hallway. He instantly recognised both voices. One voice belonged to James Potter, the other belonged to his brother, Sirius. He felt himself becoming tense. He knew he had to face Sirius one day, but he didn't think it would be this soon. He listened to James and Sirius.
"I think Lily has almost finished with cooking dinner. I'll ask her to set up another plate at the table", James said.
"The food smells delicious, as usual", Sirius commented.
Lily rose from her chair to get the plate James just mentioned. Regulus got up as well and headed for the back door, not wanting to confront his brother.
Lily realised what he was doing and said sternly: "You aren't going anywhere. You are as much a guest as Sirius is and you will eat together, whether you and Sirius want to or not".
Regulus stopped in his tracks. He wanted nothing more than to get out of here, but he gave in as he usually did. He returned to his seat while Lily set up the plate for Sirius. While Lily filled the plates with food, the door opened and James and Sirius entered, still chatting about their latest adventure.
"Thank you for wanting to feed me, Lils," Sirius said teasingly. When he gazed across the room he noticed Regulus. Regulus cringed as he saw his brother's expression change. From mirth, it turned into bewilderment before it turned into something bordering on blind rage. Regulus was waiting for his brother to explode, but Sirius remained remarkably calm.
"What is he doing here, James?", Sirius asked coldly while pointing at him.
"Your brother has come here with important information for the Order", James informed Sirius.
His brother finally exploded, but he ignored Regulus and picked James as a target for his anger.
"Are you mad! You have let a known Death Eater enter your house! Whatever information he's got, it is probably a lie! His cronies are probably lying in wait, waiting for the both of you to leave the house!", he yelled at James.
Lily interceded with near equal vigour: "How could you talk about your brother like that! He's been extremely kind. His information has been relayed to Dumbledore to see if it has any merit. The least you could do is talk to your brother!"
For the first time since he had entered the room Sirius looked directly at him. His eyes and his voice revealed contempt when he said:
"I don't talk to murderers!"
"Enough, Sirius!", James said. He grabbed Sirius by his arm and led him into the living room. There the argument between James and Sirius continued. Tears had come to Regulus's eyes and he buried his head into his hands. He suddenly rose to his feet, knocking his chair to the floor in the process. With big steps he strode to the back door.
"Don't leave, Regulus. Where would you go?, Lily said.
"I don't know, but even here I keep on ruining things. I have ruined the friendship between my brother and your husband. It would be better if I left", Regulus said tearfully and he ran through the back door away from the cottage. He ran through the back-garden and left the premises.
"Come back, Regulus. Your brother has no right to treat you like this!", he heard Lily yell after him from the back door.
Regulus ran through the hills until he came upon a small lake. He sank to his knees and started crying. He couldn't do anything right for anyone. He loved his parents, but would they still love him if they knew he had betrayed their master? Voldemort liked his skills, but only if he used them for his purposes and his brother hadn't changed either, he still didn't listen and still had a temper. Feeling miserable, Regulus looked at the summer sunset before sleep got the better of him.
The next morning Regulus awoke on the lakeside. Luckily it hadn't rained that night, and the summer temperatures made sleeping in the open field almost comfortable. He noticed he had been visited by unwanted visitors when he felt the itchy mosquito bites. After the event of the preceding night Regulus made up his mind. He would go ahead with his original plan to destroy the Horcrux, but first he would go back to the Potters to bid them farewell and to apologise for the disturbance last night. He walked all the way back to the cottage. He hoped Sirius had left or was still asleep, for Regulus really didn't want to get into another fight with his brother. Sneaking through the same gate he had left yesterday, Regulus entered the back-garden of the Potters. He wanted to see if they were up and about. He saw them eating breakfast, but unfortunately Sirius was with them. Although he felt bad about leaving the Potters without offering an apology, he went back through the gate. He hadn't walked more than a couple of feet, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
He turned around and looked into Lily's face. He read both worry and relief in her eyes.
"I saw you sneak into the back-garden. Where have you been?", Lily asked.
"I slept under the stars tonight", Regulus answered.
"Where are you going?", Lily asked with a concerned voice.
"I'm going home to get Kreacher and to make the final preparations to destroy the Horcrux. If everything goes well, by this time tomorrow the Dark Lord will be closer to mortality once more".
Lily looked dismayed and asked: "You said that destroying the Horcrux involved drinking poison. You aren't sacrificing your life, are you?"
"I am not going to let Kreacher drink it again. If I have to give my life to save Kreacher's, I will", Regulus replied.
"You don't have to kill yourself, Regulus. You are too young to get yourself killed. Wait until Dumbledore returns. Perhaps he can help you destroy the Horcrux without any sacrifice", Lily said.
"I thank you for your hospitality, but I have one question. Why are you so kind to me, a Death Eater?", Regulus asked.
"You aren't a Death Eater to me, Regulus. Not anymore. Like you I know how it is to live enstranged from my family. My parents have died and my sister is a Muggle. She wanted to be a witch too, but when I was allowed to go to Hogwarts and she wasn't our relationship deteriorated. We no longer speak to each other. I don't want that for Sirius and you. I also lost Severus Snape to the Voldemort and now I want to help you leave him", Lily said.
Regulus nodded. Lily smiled at him and said: "You must be starving. Do want some breakfast? I promise your brother will behave himself. James will see to that".
Regulus didn't believe she could keep her promise, but he went with her to please her. She would probably have kept pressing him If he didn't.
When Regulus and Lily entered the kitchen, Sirius and James were still eating their breakfast. Sirius glanced at Regulus, a glint of hatred glinting in his eyes. He wanted to speak, but a glance from James made Sirius change his mind. Lily prepared some toast for Regulus and sat him down at the table, directly facing Sirius. Regulus didn't speak and neither did Sirius. Both he and his brother didn't look at each other, choosing to focus on their plates instead. Lily and James struck up a conversation with each other in an obvious ploy to diffuse the tension that was building between the Black brothers. Neither Sirius, nor Regulus would cooperate. Lily served both him and Sirius a plate of bacon and eggs, a very extended breakfast indeed. Since neither Lily nor James was having extra bacon it was obviously part of their haphazardly contrived plot to get him and Sirius to talk again. Regulus wasn't in the mood to argue and it appeared that Sirius wasn't either. Lily left the kitchen for the living room.
James walked to Sirius and whispered audibly into his ear: "Try to keep things civil this time, Sirius".
James patted Sirius on the back and left the kitchen too, leaving Regulus and Sirius alone. For a full minute the only sound was that of bacon being grinded to pieces by the fierce jaws of the Black brothers. For years, Regulus's Slytherin pride had stopped him from talking to his brother. That his parents had ostracised Sirius didn't help either. Now Regulus was tired of having to argue with his brother and he decided to take the first step.
"How are you doing, Sirius?", Regulus asked.
"Did I miss you, you mean? No. I was doing fine until you came", was Sirius's brief answer.
Disappointed, Regulus turned his attention back to his plate. After another minute Regulus made another uneasy attempt at reconciliation.
"The Potters are great people, aren't they?"
"They are. I still don't understand why they even bother talking to you", Sirius said menacingly.
Regulus tried to reveal his hurt, but tears started building up in his eyes. Sirius had noticed too.
"Don't you dare to start crying, Regulus! People like you have made too many others cry to have that right yourself!", Sirius hissed.
"I am not as strong as you", Regulus said. He had said that too many times in his life. He had been a small child when he first said that. His mother had been angry with Regulus for damaging the valuable China collection of the Black family. Sirius had stood up for him then.
"When will you stop putting the blame for your choices on 'weakness', Regulus?", Sirius spat.
Regulus didn't answer. Instead he asked another question: "Do you know Anne Thornton?"
"What kind of question is that, brother? But now that you mention, wasn't she a Hufflepuff from your year?", Sirius asked in return.
In his head he saw Mrs. Thornton being tortured and killed all over again.
"Her parents were killed nine months ago", Regulus said.
"It was in the Daily Prophet. Guilty conscience, Regulus?", Sirius remarked.
"Yes", Regulus admitted.
Sirius had risen to his feet and had started pacing.
"So, you killed them. I have always known you would become a murderer", Sirius noted wryly.
"I didn't kill them", Regulus said.
Sirius looked at him, incredulity and sarcasm on his face, and asked: "What did you do then? Poke your wand into their side?"
Regulus hesitated before answering: "I just stood there. She begged me to save her life, and I didn't do anything. Have you got any idea what it's like to see someone die while you can prevent it?"
"No, but I am no coward", Sirius said mockingly.
Regulus could no longer hold back his tears and said: "I am, Sirius! I know I am! And it disgusts me! I no longer want to be a Death Eater. I don't belong there".
"Why is that, brother?", Sirius asked.
"I hate violence. I felt it when the Thorntons died. I now realise Mom and Dad were wrong", Regulus said.
"You were more than keen to join You-Know-Who. You collected newspaper clippings of his atrocities", Sirius said.
"I didn't know things would really be like that. You haven't seen the Dark Lord in person. He isn't just evil. He's mad", Regulus said.
"Of course he is. I realised that in time. A pity you didn't, Regulus", Sirius said coldly.
"I know I was wrong! Please help me set things right again. Let's find a way to destroy the Horcrux", Regulus begged Sirius desperately.
"Ah, the 'information' you supposedly gave the Order. James told me about it last night. It's just a lie, Regulus. You can't be trusted and neither can your information", Sirius spat.
"You wouldn't say that, if you knew how dangerous the Dark Lord is with that Horcrux at his disposal", Regulus said.
"How did you know of this Horcrux. Regulus? I have never heard of it and nor has anyone else. What else can it be, but a figment of your imagination?", Sirius asked.
"The Dark Lord wanted to borrow Kreacher from me. Kreacher had to drink a potion for the Dark Lord. He wanted to hide a locket. The potion was a poison, supposed to protect the locket against theft. Kreacher was closer to death than life when he got back", Regulus said.
"Why should I care about Kreacher. That elf hasn't done anything half decent in his life!", Sirius said.
Regulus got up and lashed out in anger: "Don't speak about Kreacher like that! He has done more decent things in his life than you will ever do in yours!" Sirius was taken aback by his brother's unusual vehemence.
Regulus used the opportunity to continue his story: "Anyway, I noticed something was amiss with that locket. Do you remember that book Mom warned us never to touch before we came of age?"
"The one Dad told us was jinxed?", Sirius asked.
Regulus nodded and said: "I read it. I learned about Horcruxes, devices for storing parts of one's soul. I realised that the locket might be a Horcrux. If that's true the Dark Lord will be almost immortal now", Regulus informed Sirius.
Regulus looked into Sirius eyes and he noticed what appeared to be a glimmer of doubt. Sirius then laughed sarcastically and said : "You really believe in this nonsense, do you?"
Regulus spoke in his most serious voice: "I do. What do Lily and James tell you? Do they believe my account?"
The sarcastic grin immediately vanished from Sirius's face and he said: "I don't know what you did to convince them, but they do".
"Doesn't that count for something? James and Lily aren't thickheaded, are they? And why is Moody looking for Dumbledore's advice if all I say is 'nonsense'?, Regulus asked.
Sirius started pacing again and looked around in confusion. Regulus watched Sirius pace and think for half a minute.
"Will you help me in destroying the Horcrux, before it's too late?", Regulus asked Sirius desperately.
Sirius halted and looked at him, for the first time in years without a trace of hostility in his eyes, and said: "I will help you, but only because James and Lily want me to and only if and when Dumbledore confirms your story. And don't think you can call me 'brother', Regulus", Sirius answered.
This wasn't a true reconciliation, but at least it was a start, Regulus thought.