Chapter 38
Hermione walked down the halls at St Mungo's clutching a bag of books and another of chocolates in her other hand. She had officially been discharged that morning after spending four days in the horrible hospital room. She had been so relieved when Draco had come in with a large smile and officially handed her the discharge papers deeming her fit to be released. She had jumped out of the lumpy bed and hugged him tightly. He had laughed as he spun her around, and placed a kiss on her lips.
"Now one thing. Promise me you'll be admitted to a hospital for anything of the sort ever again," he said as he placed a kiss on her forehead. She held on to him tightly as she agreed. Things between the two of them were better than ever, and she refused to ever be put in a position where she could lose him again.
After leaving the hospital, she stopped by Diagon Alley where she picked up a dozen of the newly released books that Jamie would be interested in, and some sweets from others. However she had been stopped several times by people who told her that they sympathized with what she had gone through, and that she didn't deserve what happened. A few of them still believed in Ron's innocence, but she went out of her way not to let them engage her in conversation. The last thing she cared for was any more publicity or attention than she was already receiving. She had gotten dozens of letters from reporters across the country who all wanted her side of the story on what happened.
Apparently loving Draco so much that she threw herself in the line of fire made a great story. They hadn't had enough fluff pieces on their relationship based on their love that grew despite their former standings in the war, so they had to keep going and going. She didn't mind those pieces as much, but she just wished that she could have a relationship at a normal level where the entire British wizarding population didn't seem to care about who she was dating and how their relationship was progressing.
She continued to receive letter after letter from people across the country so she had taken to casting spells on all of them to see which ones were safe and which weren't, and managed to weed out several ones with curses from those with genuine gifts. She felt so guilty receiving all of them, especially since she didn't feel like she deserved it, but it was nice in a way to know that people cared about her to some degree.
When she got to Jamie's door, she knocked as she walked through it, "Hi Jamie," she said with a smile as she entered the room.
His face lit up at the sight of her, "Mom!" he exclaimed as he scrambled to sit up and face her. She sat beside him on the bed and pulled him into a tight hug.
"I've missed you so much," she said softly as she rubbed his back. His tiny arms wrap around her body and he doesn't let her go for a few moments.
"When I heard what happened, I was really worried," Jamie said quietly. "The nurses told me what happened, and that you'd been admitted. They said you would be okay, but I wasn't sure how to believe them. Adults have a way of telling kids what they want to hear to spare them from the truth. Mom, I thought you were dead."
She doesn't say anything for a few moments but continues to stroke his back softly, "I'm so sorry, Jamie. I know how hard this must have been for you. I wanted to come see you right away, but they told me I wasn't allowed to leave until now. I brought you some presents, but I wanted you to know something Jamie, I love you so much, and I will never lie to you about anything, know that."
"I was really scared," he said in a little voice, and for one for the first times since she's known him, she saw him act his age, and it broke heart, and it saddened her.
"I know, baby," she said softly as she rubbed his back.
"I was scared I would lose you too. Mom, I've already lost both my parents and I don't know why. But I barely remember them, so I can't miss them like that. I miss that they aren't here in my life, and I miss that I will never know the, but I don't miss them. But I know you, Mom, and I care about you so much. And I don't want to lose you," Jamie said in a broken voice.
"I love you too, Jamie," she said as she held her boy close. "Do you know what I thought of when I was held captive? I thought about you and getting back to you. I thought about how if I died, you would lose another person in your life, and I didn't want that for you. You deserve better than that. You were what kept me fighting to get back to you."
He was quiet for a few moments but he stopped shaking. But he didn't let go of her as he rested his head on her chest.
She pulled away after a bit as she said, "I got you these," she smiled. "I know that I'm probably spoiling you by buying you things nearly every time I come to see you, but it doesn't matter to me."
He grinned widely as he saw the books and chocolate and hugged her again, "Thank you, Mom!" he said with a smile. "I love it. I already finished the last books you got me."
She laughed, "I had a feeling you would be done them. When I was your age, my parents would complain that by the time I was ten, I would have enough books to fill up a room. I think it was half the reason they got me a library card so I could read as much as I want. But they never complained about getting me more books. It was something they encouraged. And I want that for you too, Jamie. Reading is a great habit, and I'll gladly buy you as many as you want."
Jamie smiled, "I'm really lucky to have you in my life, Mom. No one has ever loved me like you have, or even cared about me."
She held his hand tightly, "And I always will, Jamie. You might not be my biological son, but I love you more than you could ever know. So never doubt that for a second."
Suddenly, there was a happy yell and she turned to see Scorpius run and jump on the bed, "Jamie! I missed you!" the little boy said happily as he threw his arms around Jamie and hugged him tightly.
"Scorpius!" Jamie exclaimed as he hugged the younger boy back. "How have you been, buddy?"
"I've been good! Did you know that I grew? Daddy says that I'm getting taller, and if I keep growing, I'm going to be taller than him."
"I bet you will be," Jamie says as he watches Scorpius cuddle right into his Jamie's body. She smiled at the sight as Draco sat beside her and kissed her lightly.
"I wanted to give the two of you some alone time before the two of us barged in," Draco said lightly as he held her hand softly.
She smiled gratefully, "Thank you for that," she said as she intertwined their fingers. Her son and the boy she had also began to consider her son conversed further. She knew there was an age difference between the boys, but neither of them seemed to let it bother them. Jamie was reading to Scorpius from one of the books she had gotten him, and Scorpius was listening eagerly as he hung on to Jamie's every word.
"They're so good together, aren't they?" he asked her as he smiled brightly. "Like brothers almost."
She felt her heart melt at the thought, "You have no idea how happy that makes me. It's our own little family."
There was a thoughtful look on his face, but it passed by quickly. She wanted to question him about it, but she decided to let him have his own privet thoughts to himself. He deserved to have them. And if in time he decided to share, she would gladly listen to what he had to say.
After spending several hours together with her son, Draco insisted that Hermione spend the night over at his place. Part of her wanted to protest, claiming she desperately wanted to sleep in her own bed after not being able to sleep there for so long, but the other part of her wanted nothing more than to stay the night over at his. So she went with what she felt stronger about and nodded as she agreed to stay over.
She sat on the couch as Draco tucked in his son. She cared for the young boy, but she knew that the two of them deserved some time alone every now and then, and she was more than happy to oblige. So instead she poured herself a glass of wine that Draco had told her to help herself to, as she watched the flames flickered in his fireplace.
She hadn't told him that his ex-wife had come to visit her when she was in the hospital. It had meant a lot to her that Astoria didn't mind her place in the relationship, but at the end of the day it wasn't Hermione's place to tell him all that she had said. A lot of it was said freely, but she knew Astoria wouldn't want everyone to know what had happened in her life.
While she knew a bit about pureblood customs, she never quite thought about what her life would have been like had she been forced to abide by them. Would she have been forced to enter an unhappy relationship? She always wanted kids, but when she pictured herself with them, she always wanted them to grow up in a happy environment, not with two parents who didn't like each other and a household without love.
She took a sip of her wine as her mind began to wander further. She loved Jamie more than anything, and she couldn't picture her life without him anymore. She picked up a few of her journals she had left behind filled with the research she had conducted on his case. They were still no closer to getting the precise measurements of the ingredients needed. At times like these, she wondered how early potioneers were capable of finding out exact measurements for their potions. It was by no means an easy profession and she didn't pretend to be skilled in the art at all.
She grabbed a quill and scribbled down a few ideas on how to tweak it further to achieve better results, but she had no idea of any of them would work. It would all be trial and error from here, and it scared her. She wished more than anything that there could be a cure already so she could just bring her son home and shield him from the world for as long as she could, but she knew it wasn't that easy. It never was. So she would just have to keep at it until she found some way or the other to heal him.
"How's it going?" she heard Draco ask as he sat beside her on the couch. He had a matching glass in his hand, which he must have poured when he entered the room. She had been so engrossed in her journals that she didn't even hear as he came in.
She closed the journal with a sigh, "I just don't know anymore. What if I can't do it, Draco? What if I can't save him? I can't lose him, not after everything."
He wrapped his arm around her and she leaned into his chest. She took comfort in his warmth as he kissed her head tenderly. "I know, Hermione. I'm not supposed to have an emotional connection to my patients, but Jamie is one of the most special boys I've ever known. And I promise you that I will do everything in my power to help him."
She kissed his neck. His robes were the expensive kind, but she knew that sort of thing didn't matter to him as much as it once might have. She snuggled closer to him as he conjured up a blanket to wrap over them.
"Hermione, I talked to Harry today about the trial and what's going to happen," Draco said softly. "He said that while they have more than enough to convict him, they want us to testify as witnesses. I told him I would talk to you about it to ask what you wanted to do. I know you might not want have to go through that, and if you don't it's perfectly fine; I can testify for the both of us."
She shook her head, "I don't want to have to face him after everything. I thought when he broke up with me all those months ago that it was the most pain he could ever put me through, but somehow he managed to hurt me even worse. By hurting you, it hurt more than he's ever hurt me. I don't want to have to testify because we were friends for so long, but at the same time he threw away all those years after he did everything he did. So I will. I don't think I can ever be his friend again after everything he put me through; does that make me a bad person?"
"Of course not," he said firmly as he pulled her in tighter. "Hermione, one of the things I love about you is that you're compassionate. You care for everyone, despite what they could have done to you in the past. You love me despite my history, and you've managed to enchant all of my friends. You wouldn't be you if you weren't as caring as you were. Besides, the three of you were so close in Hogwarts, and I don't blame you for wanting to preserve that. Daphne and I were never anything more than acquaintances at the most so it didn't hurt as much. And you don't have to be anyone's friend if you don't want them to be friends with them. No one can find fault with you for that."
She simply snuggled closer to him, taking comfort in his words.
"There's something else. Apparently the Ministry is considering lowering my father's sentence for being cooperative and helping their investigation," Draco said so quietly, that she nearly didn't hear him.
Hermione looked up so she could see his face, "How do you feel about that?" she asked, concerned. He rarely talked about his father as it was, so she wanted to be there for him, just like he was for her.
"I'm not sure," he said honestly. "My father and I have never been close. He always had this perfect idea of what I should be, just because of my blood status, and whenever I fell slightly short of his false ideals, he would lose it. I cannot justify how I treated you in school, but it made me feel so inferior when my father treated me like I was an embarrassment to the family name for not being the best. You deserved to be at the top, and I took out a lot of my frustrations on you. But when I became a Death Eater, it was never for my father's sake. He pressured me a lot from Azkaban to join to help him redeem himself, but it was the idea that I needed to protect my mother that drove me to do so. I don't know if he deserves to be released early from Azkaban, and quite frankly, I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. I know they haven't confirmed anything yet, but part of me hopes that he stays in there for a while. I've tried so hard to raise Scorpius to be different than how I was back then. Yes, I like to buy him things, but I don't want him to think that money can get him everything. I want him to know that hard work is what gets you places."
She cupped his face, "You've done a wonderful job with Scorpius. He's a brilliant boy and he's proof of how much you've changed for the better. And as for your father, I will stand by you one hundred percent and help you any way you might need. And if he is released, we'll face him together. Draco, you've stood by me for so much of my hardships recently, and I will gladly do the same."
He was about to say something when the floo activated for a call. Draco jumped to his feet as a female voice called out, "Healer Malfoy, you need to get to the hospital immediately."
"What is it, Donna?" Draco asked as Hermione recognized the voice of his secretary. She placed her cup to the side as a bad feeling settled in her stomach.
"It's Jamie," Donna said in a grim voice. "He's coding, and the Healer on-call told me that you need to show up now. It's not looking good."