The next day, I would've done anything to make classes longer – yeah, I never expected myself to say that either. Haruhi was in really high spirits that day, and that was exactly what I dreaded. I knew I couldn't skip club activities, and that time was drifting closer and closer. I cursed myself for all the times I said "It's too much!" – now I would've played even in the rugby nationals, I would've even shot 10 crappy movies with my name big on the credits, I would've even gone to a secluded island full of mass-murderers lurking around, only to be able to escape this situation. Haruhi, just do whatever you want, board a rocket and take off, I promise I'll go with you and chase after aliens, but please, only this… stop it.

And so, the classes were over. With the despair of the whole humanity hanging upon my shoulders, I took off to the Manga Club. There was only one small light: Asahina-san's waitress silhouette (I had already picked up the costume from the laundry store during the lunch break). Upon arriving, I noticed I was the last to be there, and Haruhi nagged at me:

"What did you do for 20 minutes in the toilet, huh?!"

I spent the time being sorry for myself, thank you very much for asking.

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on you!" laughed Koizumi.

Don't enjoy it, you bastard!

The manga club members laughed. And there, in a corner, Asahina-san's kindness was brimming while she silently brewed the tea leaves. It was obvious this was an unfitted environment for her, so I sighed. The waitress cosplay felt very appropriate worn in this room though. I was not surprised that Nagato wasn't there, I was sure she just enjoyed her book in her basically own clubroom.

"Now that we've gathered here, let's start!" said Hayashi-san with a grin. "Koizumi-kun and Kyon-kun, your job is very simple – you just have to stay still." she laughed.

Is that all? I sighed with relief.

"So, here we go. Haruhi-san had a great story idea, and so we kindda used it in making our script. I and Shuu worked on the script, Akiko-chan is doing the drawing and Tamura-san does the backgrounds and helps with the inking. We have been planning something big, which means we can't just go by the canon."

"Yeah, so here's the story!" chirped Haruhi. "Koizumi-kun is an esper and he meets Kyon while he was on a mission three years ago. They meet again in the present but Kyon is in love with a girl, so Koizumi-kun tries hard to make Kyon like him. However, since that doesn't really work, Koizumi-kun murders the girl and makes Kyon believe she returned to the future, because the girl was actually a time traveler (but not a waitress). Then, Koizumi-kun forces Kyon to sleep with him and Kyon of course falls in love with Koizumi-kun and they seem to live happily ever after, HOWEVER, after a time another guy appears and wants to snatch Kyon and Koizumi-kun has to fight him but of course he wins. The end. So that's how it is!"

WHATTA HELL?!

"Based on this story, I and Shuu made the names and now Akiko-chan will draw them, of course using you as models. Questions?"

Yeah, would you please kill me?

"Kyon, don't be stupid, now get working!"

What do you understand exactly by "working"…?

Asahina-san served me a cup of tea, while staring at the ground. Nooo! Look at me! But before I could whine, Haruhi snatched my cup and drank it herself, not forgetting to bitterly spit out:

"Get there and do whatever you're told to."

Easy for you to say, really.

I got up and stood in front of the semi-circle of desks, and Koizumi stood up next to me. We didn't do anything for about 5 minutes but stay there dumbly. Haruhi was chatting with (harassing?!) Ritsuka, while Hayashi-san and the others were apparently discussing some manga-related things. The only one looking at us and drawing was the beautiful and polite girl, Akiko-san. Just when I thought all we needed to do was stay there peacefully, Shuu said:

"Could you please get closer and face each other?"

Huh?! Haruhi flashed me a glare, and so I turned to see Koizumi's face in a close-up.

"Kyon-kun, I want you to put up a displeased expression…"

Good, cause right now I AM displeased.

"…and Koizumi-kun, please put up a smirk."

Yeah, I bet we look funny. I spent two minutes of my life staring into Koizumi's impossible to read eyes with a discontent look on my own. To tell you the truth, I was already getting anxious; Asahina-san was there as well, so I felt some kind of pressure upon myself – I just hoped things wouldn't go any further than that. And how goddamn wrong I was…

"It's enough." said Akiko-san.

You mean I'm free?

"Now, Kyon-san, please get on your knees." continued Akiko-san.

Haaa?! I furrowed my eyebrows in disdain. Before I could even protest, I saw Haruhi snapping and getting closer to me, then shamelessly kicking me in the back of my knees, resulting in me immediately kneeling in front of Koizumi.

"Next time hurry up!" she huffed.

Gaaahh..!!! What's your problem?!

"Koizumi-san, please lower your head and look down to Kyon-san. Kyon-san, close your eyes." commanded again Akiko-san.

No way! However, when I saw Haruhi glaring, I instantly shut my eyes for the purpose of avoiding to be pierced by the lasers she was shooting from her eyes (bad pun, huh…).

I wished there wouldn't ever be the need for me to open my eyes again. I just wanted to disappear somewhere far away. I finally realized that my resistance was futile and only dangerous for the world, though for a second I felt the urge to give Koizumi a load of work to do as punishment from my behalf.

"You can open your eyes now." said Akiko-san.

I leave it to you to imagine how I felt when I opened them.

"Akiko-chan… if I remember correctly, that scene wasn't in the names we made…" wondered Hayashi-san.

"That's right. I just wanted to draw it for myself."

WHAAAAT??!!!!

"Bwhahahaha, Kyon you looked so funny…!" burst out Haruhi.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Koizumi lightly chuckled. In that moment, if I could, I would've burnt down the whole Earth, without hesitation. I couldn't, but I knew somebody who could.

I stood up, my gaze facing the floor.

"Koizumi, I warn you…" I muttered under my breath. "Like I warned you that time… If you care about this goddamn world, that is…"

I guess this was the first time I seriously threatened somebody. They say it's a beginning in everything, huh… Koizumi's face lost color and for a second that dumb smile had been washed out – it was me having a bad feeling though.

"What are you muttering there Kyon?! That wasn't in any scene either! Now go back to work!" commanded Haruhi crossing her arms.

Hayashi-san raised an eyebrow, and Akiko-san was silently facing her sheets of paper. She then spoke:

"I'm extremely sorry, Hayashi-sensei, it was a big mistake on my behalf. I know we cannot afford losing our models, and yet… I couldn't… stop…" she whispered her last words.

Couldn't stop…?! Whatta hell?! And why is everyone calling the president "sensei"?!

Breaking of the Fourth Wall: Because that's this story's author's alter-ego.

"No problem, Akiko-chan, you can draw all you wish, after you finish the manga itself…" answered Hayashi-san in a strange voice.

"Akiko-chan keeps doing that! Tell her to stop, it's scaaary!" whined Shuu.

Wait, why is she whining? Wasn't she the mysterious type? Either way, this seemed like a break to me, so I took my time and breathed. Asahina-san gave me a new cup of tea, and I started to drink it slowly, engulfing myself in the flavor, as if escaping from this clubroom and going back to ours, where my life, even if disturbed by Haruhi, was somehow pleasant.

"I'm sorry for earlier, could you please continue modeling for us?" apologized Akiko-san.

Without even leaving the gap for a reply, Hayashi-san stepped in and said:

"Koizumi-kun and Kyon-kun, please shake hands, I mean, keep the position of shaking hands."

Huh? Is this a match or something?
"No, it's the moment you two just met, isn't it great?"

After this absolutely random and ignored-by-everybody comment by Ritsuka, we assumed our positions, as I sighed with relief. It appeared Koizumi had indeed comprehended my message, though I had no idea how he had psychologically manipulated this situation going against Haruhi's wishes. After a prolonged hand-shake scene (my hand was starting to sweat…) Hayashi-san finally called it a day and said we could go home. However, Haruhi said she will stay some more in order to review the day's "progress" so me, Koizumi and Asahina-san grabbed our bags and left North High. After we parted with Asahina-san at the station, Koizumi finally said:

"I had done exactly as you told me. Now what?"

His voice was off, and I could feel he was somehow tormented. Suits you right! I would've told him, but I couldn't really tell him, because I wanted to actually ask a different thing:

"How did you do it?"

"Do what? If I recall correctly, you are well aware of my ESP powers. Indeed, I told you they are usable only inside "closed spaces" but even so that doesn't mean I cannot use a trick or two. But you already knew that as well, since it was me you asked to change the situation."

"Not that. I meant how did you go against Haruhi's wishes, noting that it was you who said everything she desires for will turn into reality?"

I won't be deceived anymore by your charades, and seeing this happen as well, I highly doubt Haruhi is some kind of god as you pretend.

"I am guiltier in my conscience for doing something against Suzumiya-san than actually denaturing the situation. Either way, I hope no "closed spaces" will start appearing this night."

"That wasn't what I had asked you!"

"That's true. But let me ask you one thing. How do you know what Suzumiya-san is really wishing for?"

Well it's simple, if she wants something, she goes berserk and eventually obtains it!

"I see. I want to tell you that I do not want any tragedy to occur, but as well I cannot interfere anymore with Suzumiya-san's requests. Please understand the situation and act maturely – we are not kids anymore, there's no need for you to take it seriously."

Easy for you to talk, Mr. Seme-smile Guy! I'd like to see YOU kneeling up in front of me! Koizumi sighed, and added:

"If you can bear with it while at school, then I will do anything so that you'll be pleased and cooperate with Suzumiya-san."

These being said, Koizumi kneeled. In front of me.