Chapter 17: Haven After the Flash: Evie Part 3

Chapter Text

A/N Edited as of 9/28/2014. I can't leave my own stuff alone. I'm strange that way. Added notes to day 61 and a few minor things to following days.

My fingers stopped hurting from the pricks later that afternoon. I remembered that night after my dream where my thigh had been slashed and bleeding, but afterwards had looked unmarked, as good as new. It seemed I wasn't a completely miraculous healer after all.

That evening I asked Isabeu what fruit and veg she thought would work best for a large gathering. She told me I'd done well with the watermelon. Then we looked through the seed packets and she made a list of what she thought she needed for the gathering tomorrow. She was very cautious with her shopping list, even not knowing the personal cost to me. She was aware the "fertilizer" was in short supply. She also asked if she could bring a few women over to help cook and whether I'd want help harvesting from some of the folk in the bayou. Ronan, Mom, Mel, and Lionel were still raiding as much as possible. Tee-bo would head into the bayou with the car to pick up folk and bring them back today while discreetly spreading the word to a few folk that he'd be teaching them car repair when he got back.

After supper that night, when Anais and Ronain were in bed, us older folks brainstormed our plans. Well, the adults brainstormed plans. My role began to form as the prioritizer. I had the visions so I let them know what I thought was coming, what we needed to prepare for, what directions we needed to move in, then they took over. I was fine with that.

Tomorrow Tee-bo would drive over and bring back the families we wanted while Ronan would stay and help the men fix their cars so we had more transportation. I let them know we should be able to trade for more fuel, but we needed to conserve for the evacuation some day. I had to brief them about the Tarot, the cards, the lovers, and that I was going to be a target. I'd already been threatened by Death. Surely there would be others out for my head. They looked shaken by this, but there wasn't really anything they could do about supernatural beings bent on killing me so they moved on with what they could do.

My healing was in good standing that morning. I managed to grow nearly everything on Isabeu's list, but it was at a high cost.

I'd borrowed the two kids for help digging small furrows with garden trowels, and a few deeper holes for the sweet potatoes Isabeu wanted. Then I shooed the kids back to the house, pulling out the corn cob spear to prick my finger over the bell pepper seeds. When my finger healed in seconds, and I looked at the long row ahead, I felt frustrated. Last time my finger hadn't healed immediately and one prick had worked for several seeds. Was I going to have to do this forty times?

I looked at the scissors I'd brought to open the seed packets. They were sharp. Spreading them wide, I slashed my arm. The blood flowed down to my fingers and I moved along the rows, trying not to waste it. When the wound closed I opened a new one. Bell Peppers, Onions and Celery. The Cajun holy trinity for cooking. Garlic, Sweet Potatoes. Tall ears of corn. Okra.

Before I could get to the berries I started to feel cold and weak. I sat in the dirt. When my wound closed, I didn't reopen it. I was lightheaded.

No. I wanted to finish. But I didn't dare. My hand was covered in dried blood. Wasted. Maybe if I saved it in the water I cleaned it off with, I could finish those berries later.

I felt a moment of defeat. Apples. How much blood would it take to grow an apple tree? How much blood had I wasted in the dirt beside the seeds because my aim had been poor?

There were almost two hundred Cajuns to be fed, maybe three hundred people altogether between our two towns. I had to do better. I couldn't afford to waste a single drop!

After I'd rested a bit I walked inside, hiding my hand. "Hey Isabeu."

"Bonjour Evie. Comment ça va?" -How's it going?

"Ça va sur des roulettes." -It's going very well. "Some of the fertilizer got dried and stuck to the container before I could finish. I just need a bowl of water. That should do it."

"Oh, sure thing. Wouldn't want to waste any, right?"

"C'est vrai." -That's true.

I moved the blackberry seeds into a circle and poured the bloody water out on them. They grew, but not as well as they had yesterday. I finished them off with finger pricks from my needle. Just then a car came down our drive.

Timing was good. Tee-bo introduced me to the three men and two women he'd brought, who varied in ages. They all congratulated me on my "fertilizer" success. I thanked them but told them it was something my mom and I had been working on for a while together. Since she was otherwise occupied today, I was the one who got the job of testing it out. The men all bought it, but Tee-bo gave me an odd look, like he didn't quite buy that story. He wouldn't either. He'd seen my nose bleed sprout grass yesterday. He didn't contradict me though, bless him.

I helped the men pick the crops, because I liked picking, and because I didn't want to look bonne-a-rien. Unfortunately the bloodloss caught up to me. On my second trip I stumbled on the steps and nearly took a tumble backwards headfirst. One of the older men was there to catch me, thankfully. My head struck his shoulder though and that left me dazed. They wouldn't listen to me tell them I was alright.

They decided amongst themselves that I'd been working hard planting all morning and I must need a dodo. -a nap. Or perhaps a good drink and a snack and then a rest. Isabeu and the women seconded this and in short order I was settled on the couch with lemonade, a small cup of soup, a small bowl of berries, two cookies, and told to stay there. She introduced the women as Rosa, the queen of canning and anything else you ever wanted to know in the kitchen, and Aurelie, her good friend and neighbor for many years now.

I listened to the women chat as I ate, and then when I laid down, feeling a bit better and not so cold. Interestingly, when there were others nearby, the voices in my head weren't so loud. They dimmed when I was working in the garden too.

We eventually came up with a solution between Mom, Mel and me. I'd cut my arm and drain the blood into a bowl in the privacy of my room. Then we added green food dye to make it look more like the fertilizer it was supposed to be. We mixed it with some water to improve the consistency and to make it less like blood. Then, using droppers to release the solution a drop at a time, we "fertilized" the seeds. The three of us worked to determine the right amount per seed. The water diluted it so that it took more drops, but it worked out to something like four drops for a lettuce seed, about five for a fruit or vegetable on the vine, sometimes as much as ten. A tree could take somewhere between a tablespoon to a quarter cup, depending on the tree and how big we wanted to grow it.

Mom inevitably looked ill during those discussions, but I'd brought her around by reminding her that the alternative was using my gift inefficiently, blood being spilled and wasted. She seemed absolutely against that. Mel didn't like that I was hurting and bleeding, but she had always been tough, and she put up a good front, so it wasn't until the harvest of the sugar cane that I found out how much it all bothered her.

We were ready to clear a field for planting fruits and veg. To do this we'd have to get rid of some sugarcane. It was just standing there in the fields, nearly at full height, but withered and sun-scorched. Remembering how those few stalks had been brought to life by a few drops of blood, I suggested we use the fertilizer on the field before we cleared it. Waste not and all that. While the women weren't sure about this, the men thought it was a fine idea. I wasn't sure why this was until Lionel enlightened me.

"What edible products come from processing sugar cane, fille?"

"Sugar, brown sugar, molasses, cane syrup and ..." I saw the twinkle in his eyes. "Oh..."

"Rum!"

Lionel had become the head of our scrounging division on Haven. He seemed to know exactly where to look to find the items we needed, and how to get in to the hard to enter places. He stood taller under that responsibility. Men older than him took his direction, and Mel gave him words and looks of appreciation. I noticed he reciprocated these. The temperature between those two was rising.

He managed to find all the right items to rig up a press using the horses and some machinery he'd found somewhere. Rosa and the other ladies told him they wanted a way to make grind flour from grain. He scratched his chin while they described what they needed and promised he'd "get right on that."

It had only taken him a week. We were all impressed. Then we were growing and milling flax seed. Apparently it substituted for eggs in baking. Who knew?

Over the days and weeks that followed, we moved more Cajuns into Haven. They began to build homes and shacks a little ways away from the mansion, preferring to have their own space for the night, and coming to help out here during the day. Mel and Lionel were going steady. She was practically glowing.

One night she told me, "Eves, it's a good thing we got electrolysis last year. Lionel says one of the number one items requested by women is razors. Aren't you glad we don't have to worry about that?"

I hadn't thought of that. But now that I did, it suddenly made sense why so many women were wearing pants in the heat of the summer-like days we lived in after the flash.

The men made more carts for the horses so we could conserve fuel and keep the working automobiles under the radar. Mom and Mel used one of these to trade fresh fruits, vegetables and meats for gasoline with Sterling's residents. We were quietly stockpiling for days to come. We didn't want the Sterling folk to know we had working cars. First because then they'd know how valuable the gasoline was, and second because we didn't want them to ask us to fix their cars too. We were also trying to use gas as little as possible of course.

Occasionally Lionel's raiders took out a caravan of cars on special occasions though, like when Lionel called for a raid on the Costco the next town over, only to find it was full of bagmen. Then he and his team came back for reinforcements from the hunting parties and went back to the Costco. They seemed to think this was high entertainment from the looks of them when they came back, sporting grins and telling stories. In fact, they enjoyed it so much, they took out a walmart distribution center that was infested as well, bringing back a couple of trucks loaded with clothing and other assorted goods. Everyone needed good pairs of socks, jeans and shirts right?

The Cajun community had a huge stockpile of gas and propane, as well as four dozen chickens, six rabbits, two dairy cows, six goats and a couple pigs. Again, all thanks to Jack and him organizing his podna's. If only I could increase our animal population as quickly as I could grow crops. The Cajuns had been kind enough to trade us fresh eggs and some milk fairly often. It looked like they'd be moving the livestock here pretty soon too, just as soon as they could get a pen set up.

The planters and I took our instructions from the kitchens, which was a relief. They let us know what things they needed for their menu and I negotiated what we could get done that day or the next. It was a pretty good system.

I'd been averaging about a cup of blood a day. My healing abilities seemed spotty though. Occasionally I didn't heal right away for whatever reason. I always tested with a finger prick, just so I knew how things were going to go that day. If I healed up right away, I could make the cut and do the draining by myself. If I didn't though, I called on Mom or Mel. This happened a couple times a week. Mom seemed to show more externally, and Mel took it inside and boiled over later. They'd make a careful cut in the bend of my arm, Victorian bloodletting style, and we'd chat while things flowed.

The first night the rum was ready we'd had a big movie night using our flat screen and speaker system we'd saved. Pirates of the Caribbean was voted as the movie of choice and every time the word "Rum" was spoken everyone echoed it, raising a glass. Mel and Lionel were pretty hilarious with their little drinking game. Mel was getting so typsy she was laughing at everything. Lionel found her vastly amusing and was watching her more than the movie. I loved that she'd found someone who liked her fire and spirit as much as I did.

Mel was trying to get me to join in the drinking game and I'd had some, but I was more enjoying watching everyone else have a good time. Besides, I'd claimed a bottle and stored it in my room for Jack. In my opinion, that was more than my share, so I didn't need to have more. I hadn't said anything about this to Mel though so she started getting upset, shoving a drink at me, demanding, "Drink it down girl. You've earned it!"

"Really, Mel. I've had my share."

"Your share? It's all your share! You've paid for this with blood, sweat and tears, literally! Now drink up damn it!"

I covered her mouth, but it was a little too late. "Calm down and shut the hell up!" I hissed in her ear. Her eyes widened and I knew she was thinking, "Oh Shit!" Realizing just exactly what she'd said.

Then I took my hand away and told her, loud enough that anyone listening to our conversation could hear, "You've sweat and bled for this place as much as I have Mel." I took the drink in front of me and downed it as I saw her eyes fill with tears. Lionel was watching us like he knew there was more to our words than what we were saying. Mel didn't seem to dare to say anything else after her misstep, and for her to lack words wasn't like her. After nearly a month in her company, Lionel would know that.

She just shook her head at me and I knew what she was saying. I haven't bled like you have. No one has. And it kills me inside that you have to do this.

This was when I started doing all the bloodletting on my own. For better or worse, I wasn't letting anyone else suffer the price of my choice.

Day 40 AF

We now had a fairly large Cajun population on Haven. The group had opted to have some of them remain on the estate to do the majority of the farming and preserving, others choosing to remain in the Bayou closer to the hunting grounds. There was daily traffic between the area with a healthy exchange of food and water. The hunters were pleased to find they were well valued for their talents. On Saturdays everyone from the Bayou came to Haven for a huge lunch and dinner as well as music and dancing. A celebration and show of la joie de vivre. -The joy of life

I enjoyed the dancing and singing. I found that several men showed an interest in me but I asked the men of the house to discretely discourage any romantic pursuit, hinting that my heart was attached elsewhere, wanting things to stay casual. There wasn't any spark. In spite of the general similarities, my heart saw these people and was only reminded that Jack had believed me enough to warn all these people. That none of these people would be alive if he hadn't encouraged me to speak to Mel.

Some of Sterling's residents are now selling the gasoline inside their cars, and some of them are trading their cars themselves, Guns and ammunition, and gold for the food Mom and Mel bring. It won't be long now...

Day 43 AF

Cooking classes were a total bust. After three weeks and kind hearted encouragement and a few well meaning but stinging Cajun zingers, there's just no hope for it. About all I'm good for is prep work, cutting, shelling and such. Only, I'm so afraid of actually cutting myself on accident and revealing how normal I'm not, that I won't go near a knife. I'm too weak too often and my grip is weak. It's dangerous handling a knife in that condition.

Rosa assures me my talents must lie in other areas. She knows I'm good at gardening so she suggested I try mending and laundry. Maybe I'm good with my hands. She gave me a huge hug and sent me off. I still felt a little bonne-a-rien.

Day 54 AF

We've started bringing in some of the population of Sterling. My how the tables have turned!

Before these people had wealth, power and status. Now they have no food, the only currency they have are the few supplies they've stockpiled that they cannot eat and do not know that we value highly (such as the gas for their cars that don't run or the seeds that won't grow for them). They do not know how to source, preserve, protect, cook from scratch in rough conditions, repair, make do, hunt, prepare their catch and so on. They are for the most part bonne-a-rien.

The Cajuns that they've looked down on and thought good for nothing, have the skills they need to learn. So we've brought them in. Some weren't willing to work yet, only to trade gas and seeds for fresh food and game. Those rare seed pictures that I asked the kids to take? Those were a gold mine!

Others are willing to work and have joined the work force, hitching rides most of the way home at the end of the day, then walking the rest of the way. There are plenty of jobs to choose from and plenty of help needed. Many are sick of staying at home and ready to socialize...just not ready to socialize with Cajuns.

I saw Brandon around once in a while with the hunters. He and his little brother had made it but not his parents. They hadn't heeded the warning.

Day 61 AF

I never imagined I'd be doing this kind of dancing. I couldn't believe it when Lionel brought back the poles and instructional videotapes three weeks ago for Mel and me. I wear exercise clothes. She wears the same stuff during the day. At night after the women of the house are in bed she wears other attire for her man. I have to admit, she rocks it. I also have to admit that when my muscles aren't killing me, it's really pretty fun. It took weeks to work up the strength, and I never would have managed it if Mel wasn't bullying me into it. She and I snipe and bitch at each other while Lionel laughs.

He spots me for my afternoon session while I'm still weak from my morning draining. The guy I used to be a little afraid of and think was untrustworthy has totally become a pillar of strength. We don't talk a lot, but I know he's there if I need him for anything, and he brings out the best in my sister. Who wouldn't love a man like that? In a way, he's almost becoming an older brother in the way he looks out for me.

An older brother who's a total perv and who has an apparently vigorous sex life with my older sister that I try really, really hard to not think about.

They do not make this easy.

Day 68 AF

It seems that my healing is fully functional now. It can get at least two cups of blood every day, and it couldn't come soon enough. There are three hundred people to feed around here. We still have a large inventory of canned goods that Lionel raided for, and the fresh game the hunters bring in, but they'll last longer with fresh foods to supplement. It comes with a price, just as Matthew said it would, but it's worth it. The mornings are hard, but I'd have to sit somewhere to help the crops grow well anyway, so what does it matter if doing what I have to leaves me a little tired?

I still talk to Matthew often, to try and keep him grounded, and because I like him. The headache is worth it. He asks me questions I have no answer for, lectures me about things I can't change right now. I tell him I care about him, that I hope he and his Mother are well, and that I'm doing as well as I can for now. I promise I'll come see him someday, but I know my place is here for now, just as his is there.

Oh, and Lionel knows now. Matthew made me spill the beans. Lionel was showing me the ring he'd gotten for Mel and Matthew popped in to lecture me about how weak I was becoming. So my nose bled while Matthew lectured and I listened and told him I was doing what I had to. When I came back around I was on the ground in Lionel's arms, and he had the hem of his shirt against my nose, but his eyes were staring just beyond me.

Then he looked back at me. When he saw me looking back at him he asked, "I see there's more to you than meets the eye, Evangeline." His tone told me he'd put the pieces together. I looked back where he'd been looking. We were, thankfully, alone for the evening. The workers all headed back home after supper was over, sometimes eating here, sometimes taking it home to eat there. We encouraged them to rest with their families in the evenings after a long day, especially one that might start early. Lionel and I were alone by the fields, but beside us lay a patch of grass and a single blackberry vine trailed along the ground, blooming and beginning to sprout flowers. I guessed someone had missed one in the dirt and I hadn't hit it with enough blood to make it fruit fully.

I turned my eyes back to him. "Please don't tell anyone Lionel?"

He stared at me for a time, just thinking it through. "Who knows?" He asked.

I answered softly, "Mel and Mom. They helped me figure out how to keep it hidden. Tee-bo and Ronan because I had an episode like this in front of them."

"There a reason you didn't tell me? You still doan trust me, Evangeline? After all this time? After everything?" His shirt was still on my nose and he actually looked hurt.

I pulled his hand and shirt away, not wanting to be in his lap anymore. He was about to be Mel's fiancee, well, husband. Engagements were about a week and a half around here. "Bleeding's stopped." He told me.

I sat up and then sat beside him on the ground. I reached for my pocket knife that I'd had Mel acquisition for me, fiddling with it. Then I looked at him. "I trust you Lionel. I've trusted you from the first week. I didn't tell you because I don't tell anyone I don't absolutely have to. I didn't...I still..." I couldn't look at him anymore so I looked back at the pocket knife I was fiddling with. "don't want you to look at me any differently. Now that you know."

"Eves, I suspected you had somethin' to do with the crops from early on. I knew it was somethin' big when Mel spilled the beans the night we drank the rum. But none of you wanted a big deal made of it so I kept quiet. I'll still keep quiet. One thing about me, I'm good at secrets." He paused. I looked up. "This is why you're so weak every mornin'." It wasn't a question.

"It is. I knew there would be a cost, but it's worth it."

Now he looked at me differently. Not like I was crazy, like I'd feared he would, but with a bit of awe mixed with respect, like I was doing some grand thing. "You know I'm keeping track of inventory. The ladies are stockpiling food from the gardens. That combined with what I bring in, we have more than enough. Maybe you could cut back some-"

I was already shaking my head. "We still haven't fully brought in everyone yet. And our group will grow. Travelers will stop by and stay. You'll search homes with people in them who will want to join our group. We don't know how long the weather will stay endlessly sunny. Someday winter will come. You'll have to have stores then. And one day Lionel...one day, I'll have to leave. There are things I have to do, promises I've made. You have to have extra fertilizer and food stored up until I come back."

He was silent for a few moments and then he said, "I see your mind's made up."

"It is." I told him firmly.

"Alright Cher. Take care of yourself though."

"As well as I can. And don't worry, she'll love the ring." Shyly I nodded at the half grown vine. "You wanna see?"

He grinned, "Ouais, yeah!"

I pulled out the blade and poked the pad below my thumb, then let a few drops fall on the leaves of the vine, asking it to grow. But I watched Lionel as his eyes grew wide and so did the grin on his face. No disgust evident at all as I'd feared, just delighted wonder as he watched the flowers turn to berries that grew long, plump and ripe. I'd already put the knife away.

He reached for my hand. In my surprise I let him take it. His thumb traced over the place I'd pricked. It was already a pale pink mark. "Coo-wee. That's some gift, fille. Both a joy and a misery mixed together." His eyes were oddly compassionate.

"It's worth it." I told him again.

"I'm glad you think so." He said. Then he started picking the berries, putting about half of them in his mouth, giving me the grin of a little boy as he did. I shook my head, glad that if someone had to see, it'd been him.

Day 73 AF

I actually shot a snake! Ronan was giving me target practice with a pistol in the barn. I was practicing with some hay bales we were using to feed the horses. A snake shot out towards us and I had my pistol ready, so I lowered and fired and I actually hit the thing as it slithered to the right side of the barn.

Ma bonne fille! C'est bon! He exclaimed, giving me a hug and swinging me around. I laughed and held him tight, but part of me stilled because first, Jack had call me ma bonne fille , -my good girl, that one night so long ago. And I missed him so much. But another part of me sang because Ronan saying that, held the meaning that he was coming to think of me like a daughter. So I held him tighter and relished his pride in me, keeping my arm around him and his around my shoulder as he went to show off my kill to the Cajuns of Haven. I leaned my head against his broad chest and couldn't help thinking, "This is nice."

Day 92 AF

The Cajun and Sterling population had now totally mixed. Sterling had no choice. We had the food. They wanted to eat, they had to work. The Cajuns found themselves holding the positions of power, showing the city folk how to do things, telling them what to do. I could tell it amused them but they didn't push it...much.

We're holding classes for the girls. Sort of anti-bonne-a-rien classes. I announced I was joining in which was hilarious because all the Cajun women immediately tried to shoo me away which my former classmates were ready to take offense on my behalf for. Then I explained that I was just there for moral support, letting them laugh at my early mistakes so they feel better about themselves. The funny thing is, when it comes to cooking, I'm still mostly useless. I tried, a lot, but eventually the women just laughed, told me my talents must lie elsewhere and shooed me away. So I joined in the new classes, shelling peas and shucking corn while I talked and let them laugh at my old mistakes. It was a great icebreaker. So the classes were filled with laughter and the Cajuns and Sterlings were mixing nicely. I counted that as a win.

I had more success with the sewing classes. My beloved night shirt had a hole in the armpit and the seam was coming unraveled. I was determined to save it. Not to mention, new clothes weren't exactly being churned out these days. If you wanted to look nice, you had to learn to repair what you had.

The men were helpful by raiding whatever we needed including a fabric store and some clothing stores, giving our growing community a stockpile. As our stores grew and word got out, security became an issue the men decided was necessary. Armed men manned the gates at Haven and any travelers wanting to trade were stopped there until one of the Greens or the Jandin's came to the gates to negotiate. Mel was an honorary Green by now. Her parents hadn't listened to her either.

Well, Mel was a Greene and a Lanoux. She was doubly claimed. She liked it that way, and I think Lionel did too, especially since he didn't have any real family to speak of. Mom was happy to claim him as well. He was rough around the edges, but he was still a dear, sweet boy, so he was doted on and petted as much as a tough man like that could let himself be. I think that kind of gentleness bewildered him a bit, but flattered him too. He treated mom with care though, and minded his manners and his language around her, same as Mel did, both of them agreeing she was worth the extra effort.

Tee-bo's been courting someone a while. It's looking serious.

Day 104 AF

We've met our fuel goals and have all the transportation we need plus some. Lionel has exceeded our expectations at scavenging. Mel is so proud of her man. I heard the phrase "naked gratitude" mentioned. I tried not to think about that one any further.

We'll never stop stockpiling food or fuel because we'll keep needing it and we're not sure how far the Haven folk will have to travel through Texas to find a safe place to relocate, or how many people they'll meet once they get there. Mostly though, because I won't be going with them when they leave. It kills me, but I know my time with my family and friends here is a short season. It's a good feeling to have reached this goal though, and a safe one.

And Tee-bo's new wife is named Skylar. She's a total sweetheart.

Day 126 AF

The raiding parties, aka, Lionel Lanoux and his teams, called a meeting with the Greenes and the Jandins, who were considered by everyone to be the joint Families in Charge. In private the Jandins still deferred to us, since we were all aware I had special knowledge, and I think they never forgot that this was our home, even though we told them we wanted them to feel as though this was their home too. Mel and Lionel Lanoux were considered members of the family and had gotten married on a Saturday not too long ago. We invited them to meetings and kept them informed, but we were all aware that Mom, Me and Ronan carried the heavy weight in decision making, though all opinions would be taken into account.

Tee-bo treated me just like he treated Anais now, giving me noogies and teasing me, tickling. He tried this with Mel sometimes but she punched back, and hard, so he seemed to respect that. Ronain was the little brother I always wanted and he, Anais and I jabbered in Cajun often. He was a joy to be around. She was more quiet and perceptive. She'd never said anything about that day she found me in the field with the knife, but I knew she knew. She was a cuddler too, but a sneaky one. She'd just slip up beside you and give you one, nearly on the sly.

Lionel had become a friend and although I didn't think we would ever become truly close, like Mel or Tee-bo, he proved by word and deed that I could count on his strength whenever it was needed. Not to mention, he made my sister extremely happy.

Having fully raided and integrated our two communities, the Lionel's raiding parties were widening their circles. They were finding some survivors in their homes, but the people were reluctant to come out and they wanted to know how we'd like them to handle it.

Now we'd had non-productive members of the community before. If they didn't work, they didn't eat. It was pretty simple. If they broke code of decency, stealing, abusing women or the like, the protective Cajuns took the scum out to the woods and explained how things worked around these parts, with a little brute persuasion. Problem solved. We women folk let the men handle the men. We handled the women. We had our ways too. I say we. I mean Rosa, mom and Isabeu. Those women together didn't fool around, and they got creative.

"Mom, you mind if I go on a trip? It's been a while since I've been off the farm." One watermelon seed and some fertilizer later we had family out of the door and willing to talk. Not much longer later they were packing up one suitcase and backpack each, ready to move into an abandoned house in Sterling and join our community. Oh, and we had another source of information for which houses in the area to scrounge, and several gas tanks of local cars to empty fuel from or repair. The men used this tactic frequently in the months to come.

Day 160 AF

We had a population of over 400 now. I've been draining as much as I can manage. I just have a feeling time is running out. I've tried something new, dried blood as a fertilizer. It works too. Just mix with water at a later date and use as normal. Also not as well as when I'm not there, but it does work, which is the important thing. I even had Tee-bo use it as a tester on their people gathering missions. So one day in seven I make the dried fertilizer. One day in seven, on the festival day, I only do a half batch, so I can enjoy the day and party with everyone else, and the other five days it's full speed ahead. We're making tons of food and the women are all working their hearts out, canning, drying, making snack bars. One of the things the men source on a regular basis is canning jars and lids.

Matthew tells me that I need to be working on Allies and Arsenal. I feel like I should be going somewhere, doing something. I don't know what to do though. And there's so much to do here...So many to feed.

Day 173

With so many pregnant women and growing young people, Lionel decided it was time to source clothes, especially since Tee-bo's wife was expecting and his own was still a growing girl. I didn't blame them. I was growing out of my underthings too so I measured myself and added that bra and panty size to the list.

Day 180 AF

We had bag men show up! The Cajuns told all about it at dinner. We serve large family style meals at Haven with huge long tables on the lawn. The Greens, Jandins and Lanoux usually start out the meal at the head table, but there's plenty of room and we've made it known anyone's welcome to sit here. It's more of a "It makes it easy to find us if anyone has business that needs discussing" thing. We all mix around plenty. I've never made so many good friends in all my life.

One of our windmill wells was leaking. Five bagmen were licking at the leak. Fortunately there were three men that were armed on patrol and they shot the baggers on sight. We learned from our patrols that a bullet to the head kills them so they were able to take care of them quickly. But it made us aware that perhaps things weren't as safe around Haven as we expected.

I checked with the kitchen and asked if they could use some Blackberry Jam. They agreed that would be nice. I grew a hedge of fruiting blackberry briers all around the main grounds of Haven. Six feet tall. We had a couple entrances and exits but they could be watched and it felt safer. Once the pickers had plucked the fruit I made the thorns grow larger, an inch long and razor sharp. The security team were pretty impressed and towed me along to grow them a few other strategic places as well. Nope! Not bonne a rien at all.

Day 191 AF

Good grief! Lionel and his team brought back the whole frigging store! Or maybe three of them. The manor is covered, every single room, with panties, bras, and more. It looks like a boudoir in here. He didn't bring back the cheap stuff either. Fredericks, Victoria Secret, everything! We've organized it all into different rooms by sizes and called in people to try stuff on. They're limited to a certain number of items so that everyone can have at least two or three things that fit. I couldn't help but snag a pretty bra and panty set in pink lace as I remembered Jack's voice telling me, "Je t'aime en rose." My second choice was a blue that matched my eyes. I couldn't quite decide between black or white for my last matching pair...

Lionel has never been so popular. Mel laughingly told me she wasn't worried he would stray because tonight he was getting naked gratitude, with a pretty show first. Probably on the poles and then in their room. I so didn't need that picture.

Tee-bo tried to give me a new night shirt saying mine was ratty and worn, reminding me of that Jacob's little overcoat story. I just shook my head and told him it was irreplaceable, but thanks for the offer. Then he offered me one of his shirts. Was he nuts? I asked him if he was feeling okay and checked his forehead. He tickled me and dropped the subject thankfully. There was just no replacing Jack's shirt. Where was he? Wherever he was, I hoped he was okay.

Day 200 AF

We were having our Saturday celebration. Often it was Cajun music but not always. Occasionally we had blues, swing, 70's night, 60's night, you name it. Almost all the kids my age had paired up by now. Brandon had found a sweet Cajun girl who would take him on once he showed he could provide for a family. Lots of them had started building miniature homes on flatbed trailers that could be towed on a truck. Somewhere to live, simple, easy. We got married quickly here. Simple ceremonies with flowers from the courting gardens. We didn't have a priest or minister so the couples said vows in front of witnesses, usually on a Saturday. They were often allowed to pick the menu if they gave enough notice. The kitchen and I did what we could... Life had gotten rougher and simpler, but we clung to the joys we could find. Here at Haven, life was still sweet.

It was hard watching the celebration tonight for some reason. I was overcome with the feeling of wrongness; that Jack should have been here. When Tee-bo asked me what was the matter, I couldn't help but share that thought. Most of these folks wouldn't be here if not for him. He was missing it. That wasn't right. Tee-bo had a soft look in his eyes then and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, holding me close for a while. Thankfully his wife didn't mind.

At night in my bed though, when all was quiet, the voices thundered. Some seemed to be faint whispers, far in the distance. The shouting ones drowned those out.

Among the ones I could make out were:

-Eyes to the skies Lads! I strike from above!- That one was Irish

-I watch you like a hawk.-

-I'll make a feast of your bones!- I remembered that one. Death's ally. He creeped me out.

-We will love you, in our own way.- The Lovers. I wondered and worried if that meant they were near.

Oddly Matthew had told me lately "He hurts when he helps." I wondered who he was talking about but he didn't say.

Sometimes Death would talk to me, sounding both threatening and longing. I didn't know what to make of him. If he wanted to kill me so bad, why not just come get me? It's not like I was a challenge. Matthew didn't enlighten me any, only telling me again that, "You are the card Death covets."

Covets, as a word, didn't have a revenge or killing connotation. It was a wanting to hold, possess or desire kind of thing. This was one puzzle that was just too hard for me. Death both wanted to kill me and possess me. Was it because he was Death and my blood was Life? So I was his antithesis? I'd asked Matthew if Death was a "bad card." and Matthew had said "Death is Death." Which meant he wasn't a bad card, but he might not be on my side either. But maybe he could be turned to my side eventually? Because he coveted me? So maybe I needed to get him to see that I wasn't someone he should hate, because I was just me, life, nice person and all.

Only, there was no good way to do that because as soon as he saw me, he'd probably "slit me with his sword." So yeah, a Jackson sized puzzle, no mistake about it.

Day 203 AF

Mom seems to be worried about me today. She's sitting beside me in the fields as the crops grow, telling me stories about her and Dad and me growing up. We're surrounded by crops, we've even grown some sugar cane. Most everything is cut down nearly the same day it's grown though. I could see in her eyes and hear in her voice that she was worried about me. But she shouldn't worry so much. I wasn't bonne a rien anymore. I'd met my goal. If that Cajun boy could see me now, wouldn't he be shocked. I was far from a good for nothing doll. I'd learned to cook, just a little, I could mend and repair my clothes, I could shoot, though I wished I was better, but most of all, I grew food. In this day and in this age, that was a skill beyond price. I was priceless.

But my heart ached, because it had been over two hundred days and I didn't know if Jack was dead or alive and the last words I'd spoken to him had been to accuse him, and to tell him never to return. Soon I would have to leave Haven and my new-found friends and family would all be headed somewhere else.

I'd go find Matthew I'd decided. And my Gran. Somehow. Matthew told me he and his Mom were low on food and I worried for them. I would need to find them soon even if the army didn't come soon. I was worried for them.

But I'd never driven a car, so driving two states away seemed a feat far beyond my reach. I'd talked Ronan into some driving lessons but I wasn't very good and I was still directionally challenged. That hadn't changed. Not to mention with the dust storms, bagmen, which is what everyone called the bogeymen I'd drawn so long ago, and the rumors of other challenges out in the world, I didn't know how I was going to manage.

Day 205 AF

I thought I heard a motorcycle early this morning when I was doing my draining in the predawn light. Sound carried differently now. But through the chorus of voices shouting in my mind, I was sure I heard the sound of the pipes on a bike. Maybe I was hearing things. What was one more sound in my head? I passed out from blood loss before I was able to decide for sure if I was hearing things...ha! But I was able to tidy up the mess on my arm and hide the knife and rag under my pillow before I passed out, so I counted that as a win. No one liked to see the evidence of such a nasty business after all.

Later, even above the hustle and bustle of people talking on the farm, I was sure I heard it. Sounds like that could be heard from miles away. My heart beat faster. We'd occasionally had a passerby come through, wanting to trade for food or water. Sometimes gas. Sometimes they didn't have anything to trade but they were hungry and willing to work so we let them stay and work for a meal and move on. Sometimes, more often than not actually, they decided to stay. We really had a pretty sweet slice of paradise here. Sometimes, they arrived by bike. Nevertheless, anytime I heard a motorcycle, my heart thought of Jackson.

When I heard it again, louder this time as I lay by the fields, my heart raced in my chest. I wanted to run to the gates, but it was 6:30 a.m., which meant I was still recovering from my fertilizer donation that morning. A field was being planted and I was reclining on a lounge chair under the shade of a tree near the field, watching the workers seed and harvest the field. And of course, subtly encouraging the plants to fruit prolifically and speedily. I was also drinking water, having a bowl of soup and a cup of chilled fruit.

"As much as your stomach can hold. I wish you would eat some cookies." Isabeu told me when she plunked it down beside me, tsking at my pallid color after Ronan carried me down. Fertilizer creation is a draining business after all. Ha-ha

I would have felt like an ...Empress if it weren't for the fact that it took me about half an hour to get the strength to lift my hand. I was finally strong enough to drain the water and get through some of the soup when one of the guards from the gate approached.

"Evie, there's a traveler at the gates. He says he's here to trade for food and supplies, and that he has information. We would have kept him at the gates like the rest, only he says he knows you personally, that he's a family friend." I stopped breathing. "He says his name is Jackson Deveaux..."

I couldn't hear anything but my own beating heart. Jack was here? Jack was here!

"...would have left you and gotten your Karen or Isabeu, but he's asking for you and we all know you're usually rather ill until noon. What would you like me to do?"

"No!" I panicked. "No, please. I'm fine. I want to see him. Please show him to me, but ask the kitchens to bring a large plate for him, something to eat and drink. I'm sure he's hungry. And instruct them to have a room prepared for him. Thank you Max."

"De rein, Evie." He made the long walk back to the gate but I could scarcely contain my joy.

Jack was here!