Disclaimer: Don't be thick.

A/N: Woop! (Kinda) on time! Fastest. Update. Ever. (for me… shhh… :P)

Yes, I am evil… muwahaha! :P Sorry for the cliffhanger guyth… well, no, actually, I'm not sorry. I thought more people would review because of it… apparently my long absence put people off… damn.

As always: my beta is amazing, so all mistakes are mine; reviewers/story alert-ers/story favourite-ers/author alert-ers/author favourite-ers/readers are extremely cool and do not deserve to be shot; and recap is in italics. Oh, and sorry it's so short. :S

So on with the show!

Muggles, Fan Mail and Metamorphmagus Werewolves
Chapter 4: Unexpected Paper Cuts

Far above their heads they heard a high-pitched screech.

Everyone in the room, as though in was one collective movement, jumped, startled from the sudden noise. Some getting out wands and looking up towards the ceiling, standing rigid and ready for attack. Harry, Ron and Hermione were among these few and were first out of their seats.

After a few seconds of absolute silence, the room began to fill.

Hundreds of owls came swooping in from the ceiling. Differing in colour, elegance and size, and each carrying an envelope or package of some kind.

The silence in the hall continued as everyone seemed to hold their breath; straining their ears to ensure if there was danger, they'd know of it first. After several seconds of waiting for danger to appear, people seemed to accept that nothing else was coming, and so started to talk, a low hum of noise spreading throughout the hall.

Harry lowered his wand and took a deep breath, letting it seep through his parted lips slowly, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, almost everyone had sat back down on the long benches. Placing his unused wand next to his knife on the table, he hurriedly joined them.

'Well that was a whole lot of stress for nothing,' muttered Ron in front of him, sitting down, 'Bloody owls.'

Harry chuckled and wearily gazed at the swarm of owls that were circling the room, looking for their recipricant. Suddenly, a stern-looking barn owl dived towards him, leaving Harry barely enough time to throw himself against Hermione to get out of its path.

The owl dropped an envelope, face down, on his clean plate and flew out of the hall. Harry turned it over. On the front in large, childish letters was:

HaRRy PottER
SavIouR of the WIzaRdIng WoRld

Harry stared at it for a moment, mouth open. Hermione looked over his shoulder and gasped.

'Harry,' she breathed, looking up at the remaining owls, whom were still swarming above, 'Maybe… maybe they're all for you…'

As if on cue, all the owls swooped down and dropped packages on his plate and into the food on the table in front of him.

'Why are you getting all these letters?' asked Dudley, picking up a scroll and examining it.

'Er…' stammered Harry.

''Cause he saved our arses for You Know Who,' said Seamus, sliding along the bench to join them, Dean just behind him.

'Who?' asked Dudley, frowning.

'You know…' began Seamus, making churning movements with his hands, obviously trying to speed up Dudley's thinking process.

It didn't work.

'Voldemort,' stated Harry, glancing at his cousin, then looking back at the envelope he still held in his hand.

'Oh, him,' said Dudley quietly.

'Yeah – him. Heard of him then?' asked Dean.

'Well,' Dudley started, loosely gesturing towards Harry, 'Yeah. I've kinda… heard about him… over the years…'

'Well, you don't have to hear about him anymore! 'Cause he's dead as a vampire eaten by wolves tonight!' burst Seamus, grinning and singing a few lines of a song Harry had never heard before.

'Hey, I remember that song…' said Ron, his eyes lighting up, 'Yeah – Bill really liked it. Isn't it by The Horntails?'

Harry, Dean, Hermione and (strangely) Dudley all looked at each other, completely lost due to their non-magic upbringing.

'Yeah – Conflict in the Coven by The Horntails – it's a great song.'

'Anyway…' began Dean, but before he could say anything else, Seamus cut across him.

'Yeah – lets open some of this – d'you need any help?' he asked Harry, already reaching for a small brown box.

'Er… sure. I'll just…' he waved the envelope he had been holding since the post arrived.

'Yeah, and I'll just…' Seamus waved the box he was holding, grinning.

Harry tore open the letter as Seamus attempted to open the box, which had obviously been magically sealed. The others, obviously remembering the boils Hermione had received the last time Harry got "fan" mail, seemed content to watch for now.

Harry pulled out the letter and unfolded it.

'Read it aloud,' Hermione urged.

'Er… okay,' he cleared his throat, 'Dear Harry Potter, thank you for making You Know Who go away. He was very mean. Me and my Mum have been hiding for ages with some other people, so it's nice to be able to get out again without maybe getting hurt. The first thing I'm going to do when I get home is eat ten ham sandwiches. They're my favourite and I haven't been able to have them in ages. You-' he stopped short, but Hermione nudged him, pressing him to continue. He sighed, 'You're my… hero… now, because you are really brave and you made it so I can now have ham sandwiches again. Thank you for being so brave. Love from John.'

Everyone was quiet; looking at the green, scribbled words on the parchment. Harry looked too, trying to imagine the little boy who wrote them and hoping with all his might that that boy received more than ten sandwiches when he got home. It was strange, he thought, to glimpse a part of someone else's life; someone's so young, someone's not so different…

'It's like fifth year all over again,' said Ron, grinning at him, bringing him back to consciousness. Harry smiled weakly back.

A shout of laughter came from Seamus, who had finally been able to open his box.

'Look at this! Merlin, Harry…'

To Be Continued…

A/N: Ha! :P Did you like what the cliffhanger turned out to be? How many of you thought it was Death Eaters seeking revenge, huh? Ahaha! xD

Okay, this story's obviously not finished yet, but I would like to reach 100 reviews by the end. If you want to help, you know what to do! Constructive criticism always appreciated.