CHANGE Chapter 4: Pain, Hate and Sorrow, a naruto fanfic

HEY GUYS!! sry it took me so long to update, my computer went kaput, and on top of that we got it fixed, but the only writing thing on right now dosent have spell cheak. SO I NEED A REALLY GOOD BETA AFTER I UPDATE THIS SO THEY CAN BETA IT FOR ME!! okay now that thats out of the way, onto disclamier!

Disclamer: i dont own naruto, or any song i put in here! so back da fuck off bitch lawyers

Everyone in the room looked shocked at hearing Naruto swear. But that soon wore off, replaced by looks of relefe and happyness. Naruto looked around at each of the faces, stoping to look at the THrids and Hana's longer then the others. it was a few secounds before anyone spoke, and it was the third who broke the silence, his voice happy and cheerfull but also stern and commanding.

"Hello there Naruto-kun, I'm glad to see you'r well, but your return warrents some questions. Like where you have been, how you became a A-class mercinary nin, and also why you didnt imeaditly return to the village. now i wish to know these questions now, so please if you would-" Before he could finish what he was saying, he was cut off by a small chuckle from naruto. Everyone in the room looked at naruto, who raised his head showing dead grayish eyes, makeing the third gasp loudly. Naruto looked back at each of them, before finaly responding, his voice hollow and devoid of life.

"Hokage-cama, i am sorry, but it is not my dutey to answer to you right now. mabey sometime in the future i will tell you, but right now i need my space, so if you will excuse me." Naruto said, standing up and putting his cloths on, reataching his weponds and his swords. The third was shocked, but finaly spoke, his tone deeper and more commanding this time.

"I am your hokage, and you will tell me when i ask you!" Naruto looked back at the man he once thought of as a grandfather, and then said two sentence's, those two sentence's shocked all of them.

"No hokage-sama, i will not tell you what happened, at least not yet. And in one weeks time, i shall be leaving Konoha agian, and nothing you say or do will stop me from leaving." With that, Naruto jumped out of the window, and calmly walked off down the street. Team seven as well as the hokage were about to go after him, but a soft voice stoped them. it was Hana.

"No, let him go for now, he needs to think about what has happened. Please bothering him will only make it worse." They looked at her, and where suprised to see tears falling slowly down her face, her eyes shadowed by her hair. They nodded silently, then looked at her agian. as she walked out of the room slowly. when the door closed, the Third looked at Team seven, and spoke in a tierd and old sounding voice.

"Okay, what happened.. " Kakashi sighed at this, and cursed the damned kami for his little gamns, before sitting on the hospitle bed and speaking.

It was going to be a long night.

Naruto walked down the street silently, ignoreing the looks of wonder people gave him. It was a far cry from the old looks of hate and anger that he used to get, and a hood changed all of that, casting his whole face in shadow's. he reached into his pants pocket for a cigareet, he frowned finding only one left, putting it to his mouth he lit it calmly, then headed to a store were he could get more.

WAlking into the store, Naruto found a very large, shirtless man who was coverd in scars at the counter. Naruto pulled out some money and walked to him, before putting his money on the counter and speaking to the man.

"Carton of Red 100's please." The man looked down at the small boy buying cigareets, before laughing slightly, then speaking his voice deep but kind.

"arnt you a bit too younge to be smokeing boy?" Naruto looked up at him, before speaking agian.

"Old enough to kill a man, old enough to smoke yourself to death. now please, cigareets." Naruto held out his hand, and the man gave him the Carton. It was firmly beleaved that when you became a shinobi you were an adult, so all age rules no longer counted. So if this boy, no matter how younge, was a ninja and wanted to smoke, then no one would say a thing about it. Naruto nodded his thanks to the man, before walking outside, and takeing one out as well as his zippo. After sevral minutes of trying to light it and failing, naruto groaned and was about to head back inside when another hand apeared holding a lighter. Naruto looked up and was suprised to see the larg man from inside holding it out, his own cigareet allready light.

"Thanks." naruto mummbled, lighting his own cigareet, and takeing a deep drag of it. The large man nodded to him, before sitting down and also takeing a drag, exhailing then speaking. What he said made naruto almost drop his cigareet.

"So, naruto, what you doing back in town?" The large man looked at naruto, and laughed at the look on his face. Naruto was tensing up to run, when the man spoke agian. "Hehe, fear not younge one, im not going to hurt you, i allways veiwed you as a hero." After that was spoken, naruto visably relazed, takeing another drag before speaking.

"Got careless on a mission, and that mission happened to be with Konoha nin, so they took me back hear and now everyone knows im alive... " Naruto said takeing another drag, before looking at the man from the side of hims veiw, studding him.

The man was large, about 6'6 and was very muscular. Scars crisscrossed his body and he had ninja pants on. So he's a retierd ninja huh Naruto thought to himself, before contenuing his studying. nothing else really popped up untill naruto looked at his right arm. On it was a tatto of a sword, surounded by a black dimond, with the words "Fighters for light, Who Walk in the shadows" Naruto fround, no idea what that might mean. he was about to contenue his study, but the large man spoke agian, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Well be carefull and keep hiding your face, it be best if no one knows your hear. and when i say noone, i mean noone." With that the man put out his cigareet and went back in the store. Naruto frowned and thought to himself What did he mean by that... it seem's like he was trying to tell me something... Naruto shrugged and got up, before heading to the one place he could go to think. the Hokage monument.

-- 5 minutes Later --

Hana was deep in thought. Dream was... Naruto. that thought still confused her slightly, and she didnt know what to do about it all. she most deffenatly didnt want him to go, to leave konoha and possible her life forever. SIghing she headed to the one place that she could think, The hokage monument.

-- With naruto, hokage monument --

Naruto sat there, leaning agianst a tree, deep in thought about everything that has happened. He was so deep in thought he didnt hear the footsteps approching, or notice the face of the girl looking at him untill said girl spoke, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Naruto... " Hana said, makeing naruto look at her suddenly, startled at her sudden apperince. Naruto looked at her sadly, not knowing just what to say to the girl who made him feel... well feel alive agian. she made him feel like he was a person, someone normal and loved. Made him feel more human then he ever had in his life, and now that she knew he was the kyuubi container, that might change... and he didnt want that, with all his heart he didnt want that to happen. so he said the first thing that came to his mind, and immediatly wished he thought of something better.

"hi hana... " Hana looked at him and smiled slightly, before sitting down. Naruto hesitated, before reaching out and lifting hanna, putting her in front of him and holding her close to him, as they watched the sunset. Neather said anything, both lost in thoughts about what to say, about what to do and how to make it better, how to make it not hurt. It was after the sunset that finaly hana spoke, her voice quite and her eyes glistning with unshead tears.

"Naruto... why do you have to leave...? " Naruto looked at her face, as she had turned it around to look at him he frowned, before speaking his voice showing a little emotion.

"Because i cant stay here, people hate me here. "Hana moved out of his legs after that, a single tear falling as she looked at him, a hurt look on her face. Naruto looked back at her, as she thought about what to say next. when she did speak, her voice was quite and soft.

"No they dont... they just dont know you... " Naruto looked back into her eyes, pain exploding inside of him. He didnt know what to do or say, but this hurthim, so he spoke agian, trying to make her understand.

"Yes hana, you must have seen the way they look at me. they hate me here, and not only that... the people who are after me will stop at nothing to get me once they find out im still alive, and i dont want my friends to get hurt in the cross fire... " Hana stood up as he finished talking, looking down at him before speaking, her voice a little louder.

"Well not everyone hates you naruto, and your friends can take care of themselfs!" Naruto stood as well, winceing at the look on Hana's face. He spoke agian, his voice also raising in volume.

"No they cant, not agianst these people, some of them might, but most wont. and im worried about the ones who cant!!" He spoke sadly, looking at her face, her pretty face shimmering with tears as they rolled down her face. he hated to hurt her, he hated to cause her pain. he hated it, but if she was going to hold onto him so much, he had no choice. he had come to understand that he would be alone for a very long time, as anyone attached to him would end up dead. so he was going to do what he had to. he was broken from his thoughts when she spoke agian.

"And those people want you to stay!!1 dont you understand that!! Why is it that you feel that you need to throw away your friends!!" Tears where flowwing down her face now. She didnt understand why he was doing this, didnt understand why he was cold and hurting. why he didnt care about how much he hurt those around him, how much he hurt... he hurt her. Naruto spoke agian, his voice louder but not angry.

"i will throw away anyone to keep them safe, i wont let them or you get hurt because of me!! and if that means throwing you guys away then so be it that is what i will do!!" even naruto was shocked by his own words, but this needed to be done... she needed to forget about him and about anything she may have felt for him. Hana sobbed loudly, before screaming at him.

"IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU WANT!! ARE YOU REALLY WILLING TO THROW AWAY YOUR FRIENDS!! THROW AWAY ME!!" She yelled, making naruto wince. naruto frowned, before he screamed back at her.

"YES I AM!! I AM WILLING TO THROW AWAY ANYTHING I HAVE FELT FOR YOU AND OTHERS WHO I CONSIDERED MY FRIENDS, SO LONG AS YOU GUYS REMAIN SAFE. SO IF I NEED TO THROW YOU AWAY TO DO IT, THEN I DO!!" Naruto was breathing heavily now, his anger apearing on his face. Hana gasped in shock, takeing a step back, tears flowing down her face now. Naruto's own eyes widened at what he said, but before he got a chance to say anything, hana yelled.

"I HATE YOU!!" With that she ran off into the tree's, leaving naruto standing there stunned. He didnt know why it hurt so much... Hate was like a brother to him, he lived all the time with it. so why now... why did this girl cause him so much pain by those three little words... why did it feel like someone just stabbed him over and over all over his bodie. Naruto felt a small amout of coolness on his cheek, and reached up to see what it was. I'm... crying... but why...? He wonderd to himself, tears flowing down his cheek slilently. Naruto dosent know how long he stood there crying silently, but the moom was high in the star coverd sky when he finaly left. He needed somewhere to vent his anger, his pain and his sorrow. tapping into his mind, he conntacted kyuubi.

"kyuubi... i need somewhere to train, somewhere no one knows about, and where i can train all out... do you know anywhere?" Naruto thought to kyuubi, who frowned then looked over naruto's memories, before sighing sadly and speaking.

" Yea brat, i know a place. about two klicks to the south, theres a small cave that the Fourth used for trainning, go there... " Kyuubi said to naruto, who nodded in thanks, before takeing off in that direction and arriving 10 minutes later. Looking up at the entrance of the cave, naruto enterd, and as soon as he did felt a strange shift and looked back out the cave. what he saw shocked him. right in front of the entrance of the cave, a brid was flying. but it was now flying slowly, as if stuck in slow motion. Naruto thought on this for a secound, before comming to the conclusion that the cave had some kind of time slowing down seal or something. the fourth was a seal master, so why not.

Naruto looked around the cave, and was suprised to find a CD player. walking to it, he smiled sadly, before takeing out a CD he had bought at a trash pawner who didnt know what it was. Naruto put it in, then pushed pause so it wouldent start just yet. takeing off his weights and trench coat, he drew both his swords, then made 200 clones. Grinning at them all, he turned and pushes play on the CD player, and soon music filled the air. as soon as it started, Naruto dashed into the clones, cutting two in half right away. Soon enough, as he was cutting throw clone after clone, the music took full effect.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Naruto charged at another clone, kicking it in the head and into two more, before landing and ducking under a sword striken, thrusting his sword through the attackers gut. His anger clear on his face, as well as his sadness as he attacked. jumping into the air, he twirled and kicked two more clones, before landing and thrusting his two swords out into another two. As he was fighting, Narutoi was muttering under his breath to himself.

"why... why must i be hated... why must i be hurt... " He mutterd, killing another three clones as he did. The music started a heavy and hard guitar beat.

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Naruto twisted, his anger makeing him faster, and tears starting to flow down his face. he thrust into antoher clone, keeping his sword in he took the clone and flinged him into anotgher five clones. ducking under another attack, he kicked the clone sending him up, his muttering getting louder.

"god damnit! why dose my life have top be nothing but hate and sorrow!!" Naruto twisted kicking another clone, its body killing another 6.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Naruto smirked as he listened to the music, it describing his life perfectly. all he ever felt was pain, never true love and true happeness, just pain! and over time he has become used to it, so why dose he cry for that one girl. Twisting as he cut throw two more clones, he frowned still muttering.

"Pain.. hehe, my best friend." He mutterd, slashing another clone.

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Suddenly naruto felt something as he was fighting... something deep inside himself, deeper then the pain and the sadness, but somehow mixing with both of those... He ignored it for awhile still fighting the clones, quickly cutting down sevral, and still muttering to himself.

"why Kami... why me why do you have to hurt me.. " He mutterd, cutting down another clone. Suddenly the feeling felt way more intense, so much so naruto dropeed to his knees at it. he was still muttering though, tears still on his face. " why kami.. why me why me why me!! damnit!!"

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Somewhere, deep inside him Naruto felt something emerging, felt something bubbling inside of him deep down, but still his mutters contenued, growing louder and louder till he was screaming his question of why it was allways him, why it had to be him. suddenly, with a finaly scream to Kami, that something erupted.

"DAMNIT TELL ME WHY!!" All areound naruto, there was a bright flash, covering the whole room for sevral secounds, and nothing was heard but the song, still playing in the back ground.

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain

The light deminished, and there sat naruto, still the same, except for two major diffrences. his sword had cnaged, and no longer was it two katana's, but now was one long sword, that if one knew enough about swords, would recognize as a chain sword (like renji's sword on Bleach). It was dark black, with white dimonds lineing the edge of the blade, and the writing on the blade read "Pain and Sorrow". But even that couldent compare to the other thing that was diffrent. on his back was something which would startle even the most battle harrdened ninja's.

on his back, where black angle wings.

-- else where in konoha --

Two figures looked up suddenly, and one stoped playing guitar to look at the other. the other figure grinned, before speaking, his voice sounding relieaved and happy.

"Looks like he's finaly awakened. Its time dude, lets go..." The one who spoke stood, as the other one put his guitar in a seal scrool, before standing and speaking as well.

"Looks like the REsistance might have a fighting chance... Lets hope Kakashi still holds his trust, where going to need to have him on our side." With that both figures walked out of the room silently and into the streets.

END CHAPTER 4

DUN DUN DUN!! okay thats it, now remember, i didnt have spell cheak for this, so i need a beta!! REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO BETA!! AND REVIEW ANYWAYS OR IT WILL TAKE ME LONGER FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER THEN THIS ONE DID!! Peace out peeps!