Disclaimer - see chapter 1)

Let's go straight to the 'fun'. I give you: Chapter 4!

She lay on the bed, the darkness a soft blanket over her stressed features as she stared into it.

She was torn between anger, fear and a strange kind of gratefulness. Curling up in a ball, she tried to analyze her feelings. Yes, she was grateful. Grateful for not having to hide anymore. Well, at least not from her family.
She remembered the changes on her girl's face after she had realized what she had just told her.

Richard; she suddenly remembered stealing a side glance at her husband when he had walked after them. He had looked at her with eerily calm eyes.

Realizing for the first time that she was by herself, she smiled. He had known she would cry. And he had known she would not want him to be with her while she did it. How well he knew her.

Sliding off the bed, she smoothed her hands over her skirt, instantly reminded of the wound on her arm as she stretched it. Breathing a deep sigh, she decided to change into something more comfortable before going downstairs to give her husband a kiss for being so wonderful.

He sat on the couch in his study and stared blankly ahead. The ice in his scotch had already melted without his really noticing it.

Richard remembered the emotions in his wife's dark eyes when she had looked at him as their only child had turned around and quietly walked out of their house without looking back. An eerie déjà vu.
Even though the situation had been completely different, the feeling was the same. The uncertainty about whether she would come back.

Hearing the door being opened, he did not bother to look up, knowing who it was as she slowly walked over to where he was sitting.

He downed the warm, watery drink, grimacing at the taste while he felt her sitting down next to him. Bending forward to put his glass down on the table, he placed his elbows on his knees and turned his head to look into her tired eyes.

Neither of them spoke for a moment.

Emily leaned to the side, resting her cheek against his shoulder, taking a deep breath. "That wasn't planned." She felt him kissing her hair.

"I know."

They sat in silence for another moment before Richard shifted his weight, leaning back against the couch, waiting for her to place her head on his chest while he snuck his arm around her shoulders.

Snuggling up against him, she pulled her legs up on the couch, sitting on her side, her hand gently rubbing over his heart before she tucked it under her cheek. "Thank you," she whispered, closing her eyes.

Hugging her closer, he nodded, not quite sure why she thanked him.
Maybe he would ask her later. For now he would only presume that she thanked him for leaving her alone when she needed it and for being there when she had decided she wanted him to be. It was something he had stopped doing for a while, but though he knew he was forgiven, he would never forget what he had done to her.

She tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall, cursing herself for them. She had cried when she had been alone in the bedroom, but she would not cry again. His hand was soothingly rubbing her back when she sniffed. She would not break down. Not again. She had to be strong. It would be unfair of her to cry now; he had enough on his mind as it was.

Pulling her to him, he made her sit across his lap, her face buried in his neck.

"I'm sorry." Emily whispered, hating herself for being unable to keep the tears at bay.

He hugged her closer, feeling his heart going out to her. "It's okay." Richard felt tears burning behind his eyes.
He felt so helpless, almost lost. He knew Emily needed him to comfort her but at the same time his own hurt and fears nagged at him. It was hard to be strong.

Sitting up straight, she wiped her eyes. "Richard?"

He brushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. "Yes, dear?"

"I'm so scared." She looked him straight in the eye. It felt strange to be so blunt. Tears spilled over when she smiled at the emotion-filled look he gave her, but she did not bother to brush them away.

Leaning forward, Richard kissed her gently, wrapped his arms around her, and sighed. "Me too," he admitted. Closing his eyes, he felt a hot tear running down his cheek as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

She was glad he had told her the truth. Sliding her arms around his neck, she hugged him tightly.
They had promised to be frank with each other when it came to her illness. Emily remembered vividly the terrible fight that had led to that promise.
It had been right after the first time the doctors had told them they weren't sure how long she would survive without a donor.

She hugged him as tightly as she could, feeling his embrace tightening as well. "Come to bed," she whispered in his ear, kissing his neck. Breathing in his scent was strangely calming. It was good to know that he was here, even if neither of them could change the situation.

Feeling him nodding against her shoulder, she pulled away, looking into his eyes when he stopped her from standing up.

"What about dinner?"

She suddenly realized she had not eaten anything since shortly before she had left for the hospital earlier today. Combing her hand through his hair, she shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat." His eyes showed the concern he tried to hide.

Emily took a deep breath and sighed. He was right. He was right, and she could tell by the look in his eyes that it was important to him that she'd eat something now. "All right."

Thinking it over, she came up with an idea. "I'll eat something. But I don't want dinner. I don't want three courses, and I don't want to sit in the dining room." Giving him her trademark pout, she smiled when he rolled his eyes.

"All right, all right. You win."

Her smile widened. "I always do." Kissing him lightly, she felt his hand brushing over the outside of her thigh.

"You're evil." His voice was a low growl that made her giggle.

Resting her head against his shoulder, she buried her face in his neck. "I am glad you let me get away with it."

"What makes you so certain I do?" He teased back.

"You love me too much to say no."

Chuckling, he hugged her. "You have a point there."

Emily sat up straight again. "I'm glad you see it that way." Kissing him lightly, she stood up and held out her hand to him.

Taking it, he stood up as well, letting her lead him out of the room.

Sitting in bed, Emily waited for Richard to get back from the kitchen.
He had talked her into changing into her pajamas and having dinner in bed, even though she had complained about it. She remembered the way he had silenced her with a single kiss. It still lingered on her lips, and she wished she were not so damn tired.
Maybe she would wake up early enough tomorrow to thank her husband for taking care of her so well. She would definitely try.

Looking in the direction of the door when she heard it being opened, she smiled at him as he carried a tray over to the bed. "I thought you'd never come back."

He walked to his side of the bed, slipped out of his shoes, and put the tray down in the middle of the bed.

"Sandwiches?" She looked at him with raised eyebrows. "It took you this long to get us sandwiches?"

"No; it took me this long to make them."

Her jaw dropped before a smile slowly spread across her face. "You made me sandwiches?" Her voice showed surprise and delight, her eyes sparkling.

Richard felt himself blush at the look in her eyes, deciding to tease her. "Well, I thought if I made them myself you'd be more likely to eat them." He leaned over and kissed her gently.

"And you said I am the one with the evil streak." She winked.

"Oh you are." He grinned, quickly adding, "That's why we make such a lovely couple."

Taking a bite, she licked a bit of mayonnaise from the corner of her mouth and grinned at him. "I will let you get away with that, mainly because this is really delicious." She pointed at the sandwich.

Smiling, he handed her a napkin and took the other half of the sandwich. "Thank you."

They ate in silence, both following their own trails of thought.

Watching Richard stand up, she raised her brow when he took the tray before she had finished eating. "Where are you going?"

He headed for the door, stopping by her side of the bed to give her a quick peck on the cheek. "I will get us some soup."

Looking after him, her voice showed her confusion. "Soup?" Emily called after him as he walked out of the door. "Why would we be having soup after we just had sandwiches? … Richard? … Richard?!"
Huffing in frustration, she glared at the wall, deciding to do the only thing she had left to do: eat the rest of her sandwich.

Staring up at the ceiling, Lorelai listened to the even breathing of the man sleeping next to her.
She was glad that he had been there when she had woken up in the middle of the night and did not know where to go, once again grateful for his talent in calming her down.
She had been so upset after she had left her parents' house. Calling Rory had been out of the question. She could not tell her on the phone.

It had been stupid enough not to go to Luke right away, but to try to go to sleep as if nothing had happened? After the nightmare, she had not been able to calm down. Running to the diner in her pajamas, she had almost broken the door before he had let her in.

Feeling a tear running down her temple, she swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat.

How she wished she could sleep. But she was afraid that if she closed her eyes she would have another nightmare. Turning her head to the side, she studied his face. At least he was sleeping next to her. For a moment she was tempted to snuggle up against him, but she did not want to wake him, so she decided against it.

Her mother's words repeated themselves over and over again in her head.
'I don't want your pity'.
Was it pity she felt? Maybe. No. Why should she feel pity for her mother? Because she would die. Even thinking about it made her heart ache. Why did it hurt so much? She was not that connected to her mother. What would change if the woman who had given her life were to stop being?

She had caused so much trouble in the past. All those times when she had found a way to interfere with Lorelai's life. The times she had butted in, been there without being asked.
She suddenly remembered the times her mother indeed had been there without being asked. The co-signing of the loan. The night she had shown up on her porch to tell her what a marriage was about. The time they had drunk together and she had actually told her she'd be fine without a husband.
Lorelai had even gotten a little kayak pendant for Christmas after that night.
Friday Night dinners. Teaming up against her father when he had teased her mother about this guy what's-his-name for undressing her with his eyes. She had to smile at the memory.

No, her mother was not a bad person.

Well, she had known that before, but now that she had to face that she could actually lose her, she became more aware of the influence this woman had had on her.
It had not all been bad. It had not all been good either, but in the last years they had had their moments. Moments in which Lorelai had been able to see more in her mother than the cold-hearted woman that had made her feel like a prisoner in her own home.

Now that she had had to let go of Rory, she felt how hard it was to let go of one's own flesh and blood. And it must have been much worse for her mother, because for her it had been much more sudden.

She felt sorry for her. Yes, sorrow. Not pity. There was a huge difference. They were kind of the same thing, but feeling sorry was a lot better than pitying someone.
Pitying someone meant that you felt sorry but could not help or did not want to help.
Feeling sorry was more sincere. And maybe she could do something.
Closing her eyes, she sighed. She would do something. There had to be a way. Some way.

Any way!

Hey folks! YAY!! Reviews!! #does the happy dance#!! Let me answer you, shall I?

caramelapples
Thanks, little Apple. I am glad that you found the time to review in between all those dreadful papers you have to write.

Miss GoodManners
You know, I think I'll always wait for you to find the time to review before posting another chapter #evil snickers# ... What? I just LIKE my rELLIEviews!
And by the way: It was a great gift! Thanks again!!
I'm actually glad that I was able to stir such deep emotions within you with the last chapter. It makes me proud. :oD!
Every time I read your review I start grinning in circles.

Loridhhp
THANK YOU!!
Well, I could not bring myself to NOT make it a dream. I was close to letting Emily wake up in her bed too, but then I thought that would be too over the top.
I think deep in her mind Lorelai is afraid to lose her mother; she just doesn't want to admit it yet. Not even to herself. Believe me: The time will come... just give me another ... 20 chapters or so ;o).
I'll try to get them to talk to each other... but again: You will have to wait, because I intend to try to keep them in character as much as possible.
Yes, life and death experiences shake up your world and change you, but we've seen them through both of Richard's heart attacks and how they reacted there, so that were life and death experiences too... oh well, we'll see. (And I MEAN "we" and not you, because I myself don't really know where I end up with this either. I have the outlines but everything else is still completely open.)
I am sorry I have not yet checked your chapter stories but I am rather busy. You got reviews on the one-shots, remember? ;o)

Eva Gabor is Awesome
-insert wicked-witch-of-the-east-laughter here- Yes, I'm mean. But hey: I gave you a reason to snuggle them! Be grateful. ;o)

swimmerluver
I scared you? ... Wow, I'm GOOD! Thank you so much for the huge compliment. I'm sorry for scaring you though... a little. 0:o)
I will definitely check out your story, I just don't know when I'll find the time yet.

so freakin tired Branda
I hope you're well-rested now.
So... it was insane? Yessssssss - I had you in tears! My life is good. #giggles# Okay that sounded cruel.
Yes, you got me -- I would not leave such a huge gap between chapters. #hands you cookie#. I am awaiting your next, even better, review ;o).

Emily&Richard4ever
#lol# My, I really did a good job with scaring people... I should have waited till Halloween. ;o)
About the sequel to the Silver Fox: Maybe I'll write one. But right now I'm more focusing on this story.

mrs lucas mcdreamy
#hands you tissues# I'm glad I made it believable enough for you to buy it. And then: Who doesn't love head-cinemas ;o).

RedheadLVR
Thank you so much. You're new, are you? Well, I am glad that you liked it so much and that it touched you the way it did.

ejl
I think Lorelai still needs to come a long way, but it was a step in the right direction. We know from the few times she has shown it on screen that she does care for her mother... they just don't speak the same language... but they do care. Both of them. Deeply.
I don't know if I will provide you with a resolution to their feelings, but I will try. You're right about the show not giving us one... I wish there had been more E/L!

Mary
I'm sorry I scared you... but it's so much fun 0:o).
Come on - I LOVE Emily! I would not kill her off! ... At least not in the first few chapters. ;o)
The cedar chest ... hmm ... oh! Right! Yes, I think I remember that story too. Well, I did not intend for it to be like that, but I really want Emily to have something like that.

Valerie
Awwwww. You're such a sunshine! I told you thank you in our chats, but: THANK YOU! I like my reVALs. No matter whether they're in English or German. ;o)

LorLukealways
Well, I am a huge fan of Emily and actually ... I'm glad it was a dream too ;o)