Disclaimer - see chapter 1)

Awww. I lost reviewers... oh well, for those of you who lit up my day with your words, -as always- I have answered you below! Thanks again for taking the time to review!
And a special thanks to Susan for taking her time to beta and alpha and ... well, for being there. ;o)

Lorelai looked down at her arm. The small band-aid on its crook showed a tiny red stain. She had been surprised to find out that she could come to the hospital first thing Monday morning, and somewhat glad to hear it.
If she had had more time to think about it, she might have chickened out again.
After finding the right station and filling out an awfully long questionnaire the nurse had given her, she had been told to wait for the doctor who would do the consultation.
Now she sat in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting area, surrounded by sick people and their relatives, reflecting on what had happened since she had come here.

About half an hour after the nurse had disappeared with her completed questionnaire, she had been led into a small office and come face to face with Doctor Reynolds. That was the moment she had understood why she had gotten the appointment so quickly.
He had quickly scanned through the form the nurse had given him as she sat down opposite of him. A warm smile on his face, he then had told her that she seemed to be appropriate as a donor and that the initial testing to make sure could start now.
Of course he had not told her more details about her mother's disease, saying it would violate the physician confidentiality. He had also told her that he would not mention the first consultation to her mother, so that, even if it turned out that Lorelai would be given the green light, she still had the opportunity to say no.

She had smiled at his words, somewhat grateful for being given the chance. Nevertheless she had asked him to tell her more about the actual process that would follow, because she was determined to help her mother.
The first step would be to find out whether she was a suitable match, so they had taken some blood samples for further testing.

Looking up, she smiled weakly when her eyes met Sookie's.

"I brought you coffee." The stout woman smiled broadly, handing one of the paper cups to her friend.

Accepting the cup, she looked at its contents and stayed quiet.

Sookie sat down next to her, studying her profile. "How did it go?"

Finally looking up, she shrugged. "They have to run a few tests. The nurse told me to wait another five minutes or so to make sure my cardiovascular system is okay."

"Oh, I could go back and get you some sweets from the vending machine." She pointed in the direction of the vendors.

"No, thanks. I will just sit here for a moment and when I don't feel so dizzy anymore, we can leave."

Sookie made a face. "You're dizzy?" Seeing her friend nod, she went on. "How much blood did they take?"

"I don't think it's the amount of blood they took." Lorelai took a sip from the coffee cup, immediately thinking 'Not strong enough'. Well, she would get some good coffee back at the Dragonfly. "It's just that there's so much information and all." She looked into her friend's worried face and smiled mildly. "I will get over it. It's just a little too much at once."

Nodding, she patted her friend's arm. "You'll be fine. And your Mom will be fine too."

Lorelai looked down, suddenly feeling tears burning behind her eyes.

"Hey." Sookie tried to get her to look at her. Placing her hand on Lorelai's shoulder, she squeezed lightly. "Awww, honey." She heard the small sniffing sound that escaped the dark-haired woman. "She's strong. And with your help, she's going to be okay."

"I just…" Sighing deeply, she tried to explain her feelings. "I feel so lost. I mean, what if the blood tests show that I am not the right donor? What happens then? If she really is that ill, which she must be or she wouldn't have admitted it…" She trailed off, unable to spell out what might happen.

"When will they have the results?" Sookie was not sure how to deal with the situation. She had only known her friend as a strong, independent woman. Of course she had gone through some bad times since they had met, but she had always been on top of things. Never letting it get the better of her. Now here she sat, looking incredibly small and helpless.

"In a few days." She sniffed. "Joshua will pull a few strings." Huffing she added, "Guess sometimes it does have its benefits to have money… and know the right people."

Smiling, Sookie nodded. "Don't let your parents hear that." She took another close look at her friend and asked, "Do you want to sit here for a little longer or—"

"No!" Her head snapped up. "Oh, no. Not a second longer than I have to." Downing the coffee, she grimaced slightly and stood up. "Let's go."

"Do you think she will tell Rory?" The back of Emily's head rested against her husband's shoulder as they both stared at the ceiling of their bedroom.

"I don't think so." He lazily traced the lines on her palm with his index finger. Taking her hand in his, he pulled it up from where it had been lying on his stomach to kiss its back.

She moved her head to look up at him, and then rolled over so her body was huddled against his broad frame. "I would kill myself if she did." Emily felt him holding his breath for a moment and bit her lip.
This was getting so frustrating. Propping herself up on one elbow, she looked down at him. "We need to find a way to react less sensitively to this topic."

"How can I?" He felt something close to anger at her words.

"I don't know. I..." Sighing in frustration, she fixed her gaze on one of his pajama buttons and reached out to play with it. "I don't want to think about death anymore." Emily felt his eyes on her but did not look up. "I am alive and I will stay alive. As long as I am getting dialysis, I should be fine. You know what the doctor said."

"Yes, I know what he said." His voice sounded wistful. Of course the doctor had told them that the dialysis would keep her alive, but he had also told them that this life would be full of privations. If they wanted to travel, they'd have to make sure that there was a dialysis unit somewhere nearby. She had to follow a strict diet. Not to mention the medication and its side effects.

"Please, Richard." Her eyes were begging him.

Reaching out, he gently brushed his hand over her cheek, smiling when she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. "I love you too much to lose you."

Looking at him, she turned her head and kissed his palm. "You won't lose me. I'm way too stubborn to die." She shrugged, glad when a slight smile appeared on his face.
Emily leaned down and pressed her lips to his.

"You're really good at taking my mind off things," he murmured when she broke away.

Giggling, she brushed her hand down his chest, smiling. "If you want me to, I could go further."

"You don't have to ask." He grinned, brushing his hand over her cheek. Her tender kiss made him smile against her lips. His hand slowly travelled down her arm as their kiss deepened.

Hissing in pain she pulled back when his fingers accidentally brushed over the spot where the dialysis catheter had been placed. Emily looked down at the wound, then back up at him, an apologetic look in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Richard shook his head. "I am." He rolled her over to lie on her back, and then gently grabbed her wrist, trailing butterfly kisses across her lower arm. Looking at her, he smiled. "Better?"

The corners of her mouth curled up as she nodded. "Much better."

"Good," he mumbled as he leaned in to kiss her.

She stared out of the window, unable to sleep. A quick glance at the alarm clock told her that she would have to get up in four hours. Sighing, she rolled over and closed her eyes, just to open them again moments later.

Lorelai huffed in frustration. She had known it was a bad idea to try to sleep alone tonight. She needed to talk to someone; but to whom? Rory was out of the question. It had been hard enough to pretend that nothing was wrong when they had talked on the phone earlier today.
A week suddenly felt incredibly long. Well, at least she would have enough time to figure out a way to tell her daughter.

Right now she just wanted someone to hug her and kiss her and tell her everything was going to be all right. Standing up, she did not bother to turn on the light as she made her way down toward the kitchen.
Stopping in the living room, she changed her mind and slumped down on the couch, searching for the remote.
Lorelai stared at the blank screen for a moment, then let her head slump back against the backrest and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. How she hated to be alone with her feelings.

Suddenly, Paul Anka jumped on the couch and looked at her. Turning her head, she smiled at the dog. "Hey, you." She patted his head when he laid it on her thigh. "I thought you were afraid of walking around in the dark."

Glancing toward the television, she then smiled down at the dog. "Want to watch some TV?"

He jumped off the couch and was back with the remote moments later.

"So you had it." She grinned, receiving an unreadable look. "Okay, what do you want to watch?" She turned on the TV, smiling when she recognized the movie that came on. Barbara Stanwyck was on screen.

Lorelai thought back to the time she had watched this movie with her mother. It had felt so nice just to sit here with her, teasing her. Her mother had smiled that evening.
Strangely enough the memory did not feel bitter, even though she knew what had happened the day after.

Paul Anka made a bored sounding noise but Lorelai shook her head. "No, I will not change channels."
Watching the dog turn his back to the TV, closing his eyes, she mumbled, "Philistine," then concentrated on the movie again.

Author's note: Thanks for waiting so patiently. Well, I will try to update again VERY soon, but for now: It's review answer time...

morzsa
I think it's important that they can forget about her illness, at least for some time. I'm glad you liked it. :o)

Valerie
Oh, I adore the 'dark cloud' image! Yes, they were able to move it for a moment. Reality is hard.
I think Lorelai is good at repressing her feelings when it comes to her parents, but now she has to deal with it. I mean, she only does that when something bad happens... remember Forgiveness and Stuff; the scene with Richard.
#lol# you liked Tiffany? Well, I'm glad you did. I don't even know how that came up, but it worked out well, I think. I'm sorry that this chapter took so long but hey ... maybe I was just waiting for more reviews. ;o) -kidding-.

Miss GoodManners
Welcome to my rollercoaster ride! ;o) I am trying to keep everything in balance, I mean, I can't just write it all depressing, right?
Yes, my Richard is tender with his Emmy. AND he finally realized that she's more important than his work! I think post S7 Richard would have been more caring and then; she really needs him now. They're in love... I like that part about them and maybe I make him more 'Prince Charming' that the on-screen Richard, but I can't help it. I'm a romantic at heart. #lol#
Emily is looking too far ahead? Well, you know she is all about plans and order. Sometimes it just catches up with her that she might very well die. I have been around a dying woman last year, even though she knew nothing could help her, so it was a bit different.
And don't worry, it was twisted, but I could follow you anyway. ;o)
Thank you SO MUCH for saying that I got Lorelai down 'perfectly' because that was actually one of my greatest worries. :oD
I'm glad you liked the Tiffany scene. I wanted some fun in between all the sorrow.

LorLukealways
#lol# So you don't like them kissing? You can be glad I didn't go further there then. ... God knows I have before. ;o). Well, I'll try not to make this story M at any point, so I guess you're somewhat save.
Well, Sookie was meant to be there for her... and Michel, well, he is an angel at heart... sometimes. ;o)
I think I actually will put a little Luke in the next chapters, but I don't think it will be enough for LLs. I really hope you'll stay tuned & tell me your thoughts!

Loridhhp
Awww, you're making me blush.
Well, I think it's a mixture of both that makes Emily hide her illness. I think she's too afraid to become part of the latest gossip. And then; you know people start acting differently around you when they know you're ill.
Yes, Lorelai loves her mother. I think they couldn't hurt each other so much if they wouldn't care about the other so deeply. There has been a lot of hurt, both have put the other through a lot of pain and I'm really trying to convey that.
Everyone should have a Sookie! :oD

RedheadLVR
To be honest; I liked the advice I made her give Tiffany too. That's why I kept it #lol#.
Well, you know how it is when someone touches a sore spot on your skin, so I guess the wincing was called for. ;o)
So... 10 Dollars... okay; anyone else want to bet? I'll take wagers!

Mary
Yes, both her friends really care for her. Even though Michel has a funny way of showing it.
I think it's important to try to have a normal live, even though the sword of Damocles is somewhat hanging over your head.
You're right, Rory needs to be told. But you know it's not good to tell someone something this disturbing over the phone ... Lorelai will tell her at some point. Just wait and see. ;o)
So ... is the sun shining again now? ... Sorry for taking so long to update. I'll try to have the next chapter out much sooner!!

ejl
How was your vacation. You never told me whether you met God. ;o)
Well, I know that Lorelai usually doesn't see her mother as human at all, but I think it would change if something like this would happen. I hope you agree. True, she is puzzled by Rory's relationship with her parents. I'm glad she always respected it to some point though. I think deep down she actually wishes she would have the same with them that Rory has.
I hope you liked this new chapter and you will keep enjoying what I have in store for you. :o)

swimmerluver
Thank you so much!! I am glad you were able to picture all of the scenes. That's what I am really trying to do - create images so clear that you can actually see them in your head. :o)