*~*

"The reason this has all happened is because...I'm in love with you."

Did she just hear that? Come from Hotch? He suddenly looked so tired and much older.

"What?" This made no sense. Hotch must have lost his mind somewhere. No sane person would do what he did because of that.

"It's not a lie and I'm not bullshitting you. It crazy and I don't understand it but I had these feelings. I didn't want them. God, your one of my agents and I just got divorced. I shouldn't have these feelings and I just could not get rid of them. I tried. That's why I was so—harsh sometimes. I wasn't trying to play mind games with you but it just...happened."

She balked, shocked at this confession.

"And I am truly very sorry for making you feel inferior or however you felt." He said sincerely.

She was silent. She was tempted to reject him once again but she could tell he was sincere. She had never seen any insecurity in her boss at all. He always wore a stoic mask. Here he was standing in the cold rain and pleading with her.

Now it was her time to struggle with words. She didn't know what to say. Of course his sincerity still didn't excuse his actions.

"This entire time?" She asked. He nodded.

"Well...not at first. Not when I was with Hayley. It was after that. I don't really know when it started.

"If you've been so in love with me why have you been such a jackass?" She out loud.

His teeth chattered as he answered her. "I don't know." She rolled her eyes and moved to close the door again.

"I thought...I thought that if I could push you away then my feelings would go away to. It was never about you or what you did. It was just me trying not to...to love you. Because it was wrong. I was wrong."

"I don't know what to do with this information." She told herself and him. It was too new and shocking.

"You don't need to do anything. I know...that nothing can happen. I do know that. I just don't want you to regret leaving the team because of me. You fit on the team, your apart of it. It won't be the same without you."

"Please be quiet. I can't think now." She rubbed her temples. Her sweater was damp, and Hotch was soaked to the skin.

"Ah. You should come in." She moved aside and let him into the house. His shoes squished noisily and he got water everywhere.

"Stay here. I'll get you a towel." She would have to give him a change of clothes as well. She grabbed a couple of towels and a robe. It would have to do for now.

"Here. There's a washroom down there. Just leave everything in the tub" She directed him to the nearest place to change. She could see how bad he was shivering. She felt slightly bad for making him stay outside so long; but then he still deserved it. She had no idea what to do now.

*~*

After changing into the robe, Hotch leaned against the door, exhausted. He couldn't go out there just yet. He had to get his head together. Did he just tell Emily he loved her? It was true, he did, but he never wanted to actually tell her. That would make things incredibly awkward from now on. If she came back. However in another way it was a relief. Now she knew everything. Maybe he could finally move on and get over her.

Now he just had to face her. And convince her to come back. He knew it would be difficult but at this point he would agree to anything. He hated himself for what he had done to her. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. He honestly did not mean to hurt her so much. If she came back, he would definitely make it up to her anyway possible.

He peered out into the hallway. The robe he was wearing was better than the wet clothes but he was still freezing and still had nothing underneath. As if he couldn't possibly be anymore insecure. Here she had him stripped to almost nothing. Literally.

He followed the light to the kitchen. She was leaning up against counter with a mug of steaming something. She heard him come in. She looked as tired as he felt. He was just dying to sink under some warm covers....

"I made some tea." She simply said, grabbing another mug. He really appreciated the gesture; especially since the tirade he had gotten ten minutes ago. He would never deny he hadn't deserved it. He was just waiting for more.

"Sugars and milk is over there." She didn't face him; just continued staring off into space.

"Thanks." He murmured. He wanted to ask her if she reconsidered coming back, but figured the less he said right now the better. He stayed off to the side of the room, half wanting to sink into the walls. He had never been so nervous around her. She was like some unpredictable time bomb. At least he was out of the rain.

The silence was almost too much to bear. He set the mug down; still shivering slightly. "I'll just get my clothes after they dry and then I'll be gone." He said lowly hoping not to aggravate her. Didn't work.

"You're only going to get wet again." She snapped harshly. "It's not going to stop raining anytime soon."

"You might as well stay here." She paused, not looking too thrilled at the idea. "But only for one night."

"Thank you." If it were Hayley, he would be trudging down the driveway right about now.

*~*

She shoved him into the dusty study to sleep. It was fitting. She was still mad and he didn't deserve a bed to sleep in. She really didn't want to think about him staying here let alone 'loving' her. She still had a decision to make. He reminded her carefully before slipping into the room.

"Please think of coming back." She had opened her mouth the retort but he was gone and she didn't want to follow.

She crawled back into bed. Did she want to go back to the BAU? Very much so. Did she want to put up with Hotch berating her constantly? No. The BAU was her dream, her soul. She had worked so hard to get there. It was a tough decision. Her anger slowly abated while she tried to think of any signs.

Besides the obvious unrelated criticisms, she realized she was often paired with him. He had been around her a lot lately. And she heard through the grapevine he always complimented her around other people. But never to her face. She had just brushed that off as coincidence. How deep did his feelings go? She pushed those thoughts away. It didn't matter. What he did was wrong. And he would pay for it if she ever went back.

*~*

Hotch was curled up on a very uncomfortable sofa under a thick comforter, facing an electric fire still shivering, when Emily burst into through the door. He had no idea what time it was but he was just about falling asleep.

"The only way I will ever come back is when you smarten up and realize you cannot treat me like crap!" She said loudly pacing in front of him.

"Never again." He agreed. Again, he would agree to whatever she wanted.

"You will never condemn me. You will always respect me."

"Yes, always." He would make sure he did if she came back.

"Everything will go back to the way it was before." She demanded.

"Of course." Was she actually coming back? He held his breath.

"You will never ever humiliate me again."

"I never meant—" The look on her face silenced him. Right; he was supposed to be agreeing with everything she said.

"And I will never hear anymore about these 'feelings'," She waved her hands already dismissing them. "Ever."

"I'll never mention it again." He promised. It would be alright if he could just have her back on the team. He could live with that.

She gave an exasperated sigh. He braced himself and stayed silent. He could not push her into a decision.

"Good." She finally said. "Then I think I may come back. But if you even start to—" She didn't even finished the sentence but he knew what she meant. She would leave the moment he broke his promises. He nodded his understanding.

"Good." She repeated herself. She walked back out as abruptly as she came in.

*~*

"Ow." Lexi cried sitting up.

"What? What?" Derek sat up as well. They had been sleeping in his bed, Lexi staying over more and more, as she got bigger and bigger. She was now well over 7 months.

"I just got like a cramp. Ow!" She cried again.

"Like—Like labour cramps?" He started to panic. He didn't have anything ready! No baby bag, they hadn't even finished the birthing classes yet. She rolled her eyes.

"Likely not. Remember the doctor told you about Braxton-hicks? That's probably all it is. But it hurts!" She sighed. "And now I'm wide awake."

He turned on his side. Now would be a good time to ask her. "So, I was thinking."

"Well that's always good to know." She giggled.

"No, seriously. I know it's usually the woman who chooses a godmother. But I was thinking....I'm really close to Garcia. And I want to ask her to be ours. Is that ok?"

"Of course, Derek. If that's what you really want."

"Really? You don't have someone else you want?" Derek asked, shocked. His Garcia beat out Casey or her former roommate?

"Not really. Not someone that close to us. I suppose I can ask Andre to be godfather." She mused.

"Cool. Have you thought of any girl names?" Since they were both awake. She tensed again but it subsided quickly.

"Sure. Tons of them. Vanessa, Clara, Selina." Derek grimaced at some of them.

"I don't mind Selina. But no to Vanessa and Clara."

"I didn't say they were my favourite." She playfully slapped his arm. "Mom wants Delia."

"My mom will probably want Sarah or Desire." Derek pushed her back. But not very hard. She tensed again.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital? I don't mind going up. My boss still hasn't been in."

"Still? No. Maybe in the morning. There isn't any kind of rhythm to them. What the hell happened anyways to make him disappear?"

"I don't know. Something about an emergency, he had to leave. But here's another question. What last name are you going to use?" He really wanted to know this answer. It might give him insight as to if he should get out what was locked up in his safe.

"Hmm. Well dad wants Chellos of course. But say we call her...what were the names?"

"Kaylyn?"

"That's alright. Say it's Kaylyn. Chellos-Morgan wouldn't really work. It just doesn't sounds right so I was thinking of making it Morgan-Chellos. What do you think?"

"Kaylyn Morgan-Chellos." He said out loud. Kaylyn Morgan. He thought to himself. Nah, but he liked the Morgan part.

"Yeah that works for me." He said happily.

"Me too. Although I'm not fond of Kaylyn." She laid her hands on her belly and gave it a gentle shake.

"You'll wake the baby." He pointed out. On these nights he loved feeling the baby kick like a boxer. She was very strong.

"She's awake anyway. What if we don't think of a name in time?" Lexi suddenly asked.

"We'll probably change our minds a thousand times." He cuddled closer to her. He was seriously thinking of whether she would say yes if her proposed. He certainly had a better chance. She suddenly cursed.

"What now?"

"I have to flipping go again! Your baby never stops!" She exclaimed getting up, leaving Derek to just laugh at her.

*~*

Thank you for everyone who reviewed, and of course L. I hope you all liked this chapter. I am still looking for names so keep them coming. Please Review.