*~*

An unpleasant idea began to form in her alcohol sodden mind. She was drunk enough to know she might want to pursue it but not drunk enough to do it, yet. Right now, her only wish was to prove to herself that she was lovable and wanted. That she was worth something. Who loved and wanted her more in this world? If he still felt the same way. It was hard to tell nowadays. His emotions were so heavily guarded and could not read him at all. She wanted to test this theory.

She took her vodka tonic and strode over to the empty seat next to him. He didn't look like he wanted company but she would force him to notice her. He seemed to be in his own little world and hardly looked up. She watched him glance over and then be taken back when he realized it was her. She loved how his eyes raked over her entire body and then darted back down. He did notice her.

"What do you want?" His words were carefully chosen.

She shrugged. She didn't want to lie or tell the truth.

"Derek and Lexi are having the baby." She informed him.

"So I've been told."

"They say it's going to be really rough. Could be a while."

He just nodded and nursed his drink. She wondered how many he had. Certainly more than one.

"What are you doing here? This doesn't seem like your kind of place." She abruptly asked. It was true; she never expected to see her boss here.

"I live here."

"At the hotel? Why?" She was surprised. That must be expensive.

"Because there is nowhere else." She could hear bitterness in his words. She supposed it could be the divorce.

"Aren't you looking for an apartment?"

"No."

"Why not? That seems kind of stupid; you're wasting money." They continued this volley of words.

"Because. Another scotch." He ordered.

"Me too." Emily would play the game for now. But she wanted more. He wasn't paying as much attention as she wanted. She wanted to be loved. She wanted to be sought after. She may not have understood his ways of projecting his feelings, but that didn't matter right now.

*~*

After he got back things started picking up. Lexi jumped three centimetres and her water finally broke. Her contractions were a few minutes apart and they were very intense. His incredibly sore hand, wrist and arm would attest to that.

Active labour, in his opinion, was almost too painful to watch. Lexi hardly got any relief, a few minutes maybe. He and her mother took turns rubbing her back and trying unsuccessfully to make her feel better. It seemed to last forever and he felt terrible he could not take away her pain.

His mother came into the room to visit for a few minutes. She didn't seem to mind that Lexi was to tired, to sweaty or in too much agony to hold up a conversation.

"Take the drugs honey." Was his mothers departing advice.

So far, Lex had been refusing, stating she could handle the pain. He was sure she was re-considering now. He didn't care which way she went, but if it meant it would hurt less he agreed with it. It was horrible seeing the one you loved in pain.

Finally the anesthesiologist arrived to administer the epidural. It was very late into the night when she went into the transition phase. She only needed to dilate a few more centimeters.

Birth was only a few hours out of reach.

"I don't feel anything anymore!" Lexi cried. Derek had no idea what she was talking about.

"Do you feel the need to push?" The doctor asked her quickly. Lexi shook her head.

"That's perfectly normal Lexi. You must be fully dilated now. Okay, in a few minutes you'll be ready to push. That's where your job comes in." The doctor pointed to him.

He thought he was doing his job or supporting and comforting her. Apparently now he needed to bend her in half to help. He had no idea how Lexi was doing it. The miracle of birth was incredible but the woman who was birthing his baby was even more. He had no idea, nor did he want to fathom how she could do it.

"I see a head! Shoulders, arms, torso and legs!" Dr. Bryne said loudly.

Lexi was crying and Derek was getting in the nurses way to see the baby. Then all of a sudden he heard a shrieking cry ring out into the birthing room.

"Do you want to cut the umbilical cord?" The nurse asked Derek over the noise. He nodded vigorously. He might never have the chance again.

"Congratulations on your baby girl." One of the nurses wrapped the tiny body in a towel and handed her to Lexi.

"Oh my god." The baby was so tiny. Tiny, but loud. But she settled down right when Lexi held her.

The baby moved in every direction, her little legs and arms flinging out. Tiny slits for eyes opened and close and the baby made gurgling noises.

"Ten tiny fingers and ten tiny twos." The baby grabbed his finger with a strong grip. The nurses took the baby back to clean her up. Derek wiped Lexi's forehead and kiss it. They had a daughter now.

Within a few minutes the baby was back in Lexi's arms. This time she didn't have any after birth or whatever they called on her, she was clean and all baby. "Let me hold her." Derek asked. Lexi handed her over.

"Hey baby girl." Derek whispered to her. He got to carry the baby as they moved Lexi out into a postpartum room, where she would be for the remainder of her hospital stay. Then Dr. Bryne came to take the baby for check-ups.

"Just to make sure everything is in order." The doctor explained. Their mothers were waiting for them in that room. They likely had been crying in there for hours.

"Okay, here she is. You might want to try feeding her." The woman all cooed over his daughter.

"Did you pick out a name yet?" His mother asked while she was holding her.

"Nothing definite. She looks different then I imagined." Lexi leaned back to rest. "She doesn't look like a Lauren or a Katelyn."

The baby was passed to Derek again. He memorized her tiny wrinkled face.

"Kyra Grace? Or Grace Kyra?" Everyone peered down at the baby.

"She looks like a Kyra." Lexi agreed with her mother.

"Kyra Grace. Welcome to the world Grace Kyra Morgan-Chellos."

*~*

They sat in silence. He didn't look at her. He just stared forlornly into space. She thought his defences were down. That might work for her; because she knew he would never show any emotion if they were up. She was more obvious; she had her chin on her hand, her legs crossed and looked at him directly. She wondered if she made him uncomfortable.

"What?" He eventually asked.

"What's the matter?" If he wanted to bitch and complain he could; it was better than silence.

"Nothing."

"That's a lie." That made him looked at her, questioning her. She kept her expression neutral. They had not spoken of anything personal in a very long time. Months.

"Why do you care?" He looked suspicious. That could also be from alcohol.

"Because you look sad. Because everything got screwed up. Because I'm tired and... well... lonely." She let the last word linger, surprising herself. What was she expecting that this was going to go somewhere? She let herself be selfish and let her instincts take over.

He was silent again but then said softly, "You look pretty."

Yes, she thought. I am pretty. "Thanks. Another one please." She ordered another drink. She would most likely regret mixing her alcohol the next morning, she wasn't a big scotch drinker, but she liked the way it burned down her throat. They sat in silence and she listened to the business of the bar. She swiveled in the bar chair and her knee knocked into his. She felt very fidgety. She initiated conversation again.

"How's Jack?" He looked far too depressed for her liking. She felt like she was being dragged into a depressing cycle. He really needed to cheer up a bit if she wanted to continue this. She didn't want to end up like she had last night.

"He's fine." He stated. End of conversation.

The world began to tilt as she matched him drink for drink. It wasn't a contest. She was just getting bored and the alcohol happened to be in front of her. She could feel her emotions spiraling. She was descending into her own depression. Tears pricked her eyes and she decided to leave. She was the world's biggest fool; and Hotch clearly wasn't interested in her at all anymore. She stood up and swayed preciously, trying to find her bag. She would leave before she humiliated herself further.

"What are you doing?" Hotch's stern voice penetrated her consciousness.

"Leaving." She snapped, trying hard not to slur her words. She felt him reach out and steady her. It was a tiring battle not to give herself up to the alcohol. She could so easily slip under its influence...

"Your drunk."

"I'm not drunk." She straightened her back to prove it. She would walk gracefully out those doors...

"How are you getting home?" He asked her seriously.

"I'll walk." The words came stupidly out of her mouth. She really didn't intend to, she figured she would stagger to a cab. She just wanted to be difficult. She was angry with herself for trying to be something.

"You can't walk-"

"Yes I can." She marched; swaying albeit, out of the bar. The lobby was deserted. "You don't care." She mumbled, not really knowing what she meant by care. Everything was going so wrong.

"Emily. Stop." He said firmly, gripping her arm as she swayed. She did stop, being used to his ordering voice, and looked at him. She tried to make her bottom lip stop trembling.

"You can not walk all the way. Sit there." He led her over to a comfy chair. "I'll be right back." She assumed he was getting her a cab. But that was Hotch. Always the gentleman. And here she was trying to use him for her own gratification. "Oohh." She sighed heavily. She felt terrible for her selfishness. She did not use people; that was way below her morals. What must he think of her now? Some slutty tart probably. But she did really believe he still loved her. It probably was just lust. And lust went away. How badly did she want to be loved...?

"Emily." He brought her back to the real world. He handed her a key card. "Come on. I got you a room here."

She stood up, on her own, and followed him to the elevators. "Why? I could have just got cab." She pointed out the window to waiting cars.

"I can't let you do that. God knows what would happen and I'm not sober enough to take you myself. Just take it." He insisted and she honestly wanted the night to be over. She leaned against the elevator wall and took a long look at him. He didn't look as drunk as her, but she knew he had consumed a lot of liquor. He probably could carry it better. She drunkenly mused that he wasn't too bad-looking. He generally was a very decent man, albeit with some mistakes. She could do a lot worse. She had done a lot worse.

They stopped at a floor, she didn't know which one. He supported her down the hallway and stopped in front a hotel room. She leaned against his chest as he opened the door. He smelt nice, if you forgot about all the scotch. She had the strangest urge to kiss him. She wasn't thinking about the bureau. She wasn't thinking of anything when she reached up and kissed his cheek.

He didn't push her away like she thought he would.

"Thanks." She whispered softly. She stood closer to him then she had ever been. He looked down at her, his face unreadable. He probably judging her and thinking she was some slutty tart. He would leave her alone soon. She didn't want to be alone.

"Come in?" She asked.

He shook his head. "I can't do that, Emily." But there was something in his eyes.

"Just keep me company for a while?" She asked quietly. She could see him begin to refuse.

"Just for a little while. Promise." She stepped aside to let him in.

*~*

He could tell something was very different as he woke up. His arms were wrapped around something very warm and close to him. Was that a body? His eyes show open and all he could see was the dark brown hair and creamy white skin. He heart pounded in his chest and in his head as he shifted away from her, startled. What the hell had happened last night?

"Emily." He whispered. He really didn't want to wake her up. That would bring on a whole conversation he didn't want to have. He checked to see if she was awake.

How would be explain himself? He clearly could tell the consequences of the night; all their clothes were strewn through the room. But then it showed that she has been a willing participant. So she was partially to blame. He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, a nervous habit he tried hard in his life to break. He was really to blame. He should have more control then to just jump in bed with someone. Especially a subordinate. But he could never take this back.

The headache he had grew worse the longer he stayed up. It was still very early. He wanted to go back to sleep and sleep off this hangover. Emily didn't look she would wake up anytime soon. Her breathing was deep and even. Shouldn't he enjoy the last few moments with the woman he was in love with? Take the only comfort he would get in a very long time? If it were under different circumstances he would be thrilled. But he couldn't remember those circumstances. He would just sleep a little bit longer, and take off before she woke up. They were going to have to talk about this sometime; but that didn't mean it had to be now.

*~*

She woke very suddenly. She wasn't having a nightmare; it was dead sleep but something jerked her awake. Then it was impossible not to freak when she saw where she was. God no, she thought. No, no, no, no! She tried to contain herself; she just wanted to scream and run. She had done what she never thought herself capable of doing. She had broken her own rules. "Oooh god." She whispered. Her bed partner stirred. What would she say if he woke up? He probably wouldn't remember anything if she left right now.

Emily lifted his arm off of her and darted for her clothes. She didn't miss the empty scotch bottles decorating the dresser and tables. She promised herself she would never drink again. Never ever. She slipped into her dress and grabbed her shoes not even bothering to put them on. She paused before she left, taking a second to look at him. He was sound asleep, his face never more peaceful. Emily felt wretched for using him so. She was disgusted with herself. She let the door slide quietly into its place and ran for life.

*~*

She was missing the second time he woke up. It was late morning and the sun was shining harshly into the room. He felt no better this time, only worse. His headache was worse, his stomach uneasy and dread was starting to build in his chest. Dread of seeing Emily again. He flopped back onto the bed; it was pointless to get up now.

*~*

It was late night/early morning by the time everyone left. He was alone with Lexi and the baby, with Lexi fast asleep recovering from almost 48 hours of labour. She needed some well deserved sleep.

Derek sat in the rocking chair beside her, with the baby in his lap. Kyra, as they had decided to call her, was dressed in the customary pink sleeper and hat. She amazingly had a head full of silky black hair and dark brown skin like her parents. Kyra was sleeping peacefully every once and a while stretching out. So far she hadn't been fussy or difficult at all but he supposed that would not last long.

Soon she would be screaming for food, attention or whatever she wanted. Then she would be crawling, walking, talking, getting into everything and causing havoc. It seemed so far away, and half the time he didn't think she could be real. He physically had a daughter now. A living breathing thing.

If you had asked him a year ago if he ever thought he would be sitting were he would he would have laughed and brushed it off. Would he ever be responsible enough to her? Would he be there for every boo-boo or every tear? With his job? Probably not. He knew he would miss a lot. Even if he wasn't at the BAU. If he was a regular cop he would still work long hours.

He did know one thing. He had only 'met' this being less than twenty-fours hours ago and loved her more then anything. Nothing in the world would ever part them. Which reminded him of the ring. Derek gently put the baby back into her crib and took out the engagement ring. He crept over to Lexi, and slipped the ring on her finger.

He figured this would be the best way to propose. Nothing that made a scene, they weren't a normal couple. Nothing in their lives had been planned. Now they had this beautiful creation.

"Mmm." He had woken Lexi up. "What?" She asked immediately, seeing him standing over her. Then she felt the ring. He didn't say anything, scared of actually receiving a 'no'.

She stared at it a long time. Then she said, "Alright." Smiled, and drifted back off to sleep.

Derek picked up his baby girl again. It was what the answer he both expected and hoped for. He knew a sobbing 'yes' was unrealistic. Lexi wasn't agreeing to a marriage. She was agreeing to try, along with him. They weren't perfect. This experience proved it. A lot had been done wrong, done poorly or was a stupid mistake. But they had survived it.

And they would survive this, hopefully. Nothing was set in stone. But Derek could not be happier and he could not wait to bring home is fiancé and child. This may have not been the life he had wanted, but it he could not imagine it any differently now.

*~*

The paediatric ward was usually silent during the evening, with the exception of a few newborns crying out. A new baby had recently added to the cribs. Emily stood by the window and stared down at the tiny innocent persons. She could see Kyra Morgan-Chellos fuss a little bit and then settle down. She saw a figure approach from the corner of her eye, but didn't acknowledge him until he was close.

"She's beautiful." She said out loud.

"Yes, very." Hotch agreed, looking into the room. They were silent. Then he said, "Emily, about—"

Emily waved her hand. "Don't. It was a huge mistake, Hotch. Let's just forget it ever happened. Okay?" She pleaded.

He nodded slowly. "Okay. But—I am sorry for what happened. You understand that right?"

"Oh, yeah. It's totally fine." She cringed at her peppiness voice. She did not want to talk about this anymore.

Hotch did not seem persuaded. He opened his mouth to speak again but she cut him off.

"Just leave it be. We'll be fine. Everything will go back to normal." She convinced herself. "We're fine right?"

"Right." He agreed. "I'll just leave now."

"Goodbye. See you in the office tomorrow." Emily forced herself to give him a small smile. He just nodded and walked away.

She turned back to the newborns. So they were pretty much even now. She wondered if he knew it had been her idea. Clearly not. But she wasn't about to step into his office and tell him. Everything would go back to normal, she assured herself. The hatch was buried and never to be brought up again. They could move on with their lives. No one stayed in love or lust for long, and there would always be other men.

Emily straightened her back properly. She needed some sleep and badly, or else she would look horrible tomorrow. She didn't want any questions about her 'weekend'. She would just try to forget about it, and add it to other things she couldn't change in her life.

*~*

"Almost ready?" Derek asked Lexi, who was just finishing packing. They were leaving the hospital today. Kyra Grace had checked out completely healthy and happy.

"Almost." Lexi answered. Derek stooped over the baby's crib to see his daughter. He picked her up to put her in the car seat. The baby gurgled in his arms.

"Ready." He gave the baby back to her mother and picked up all the bags.

"Mom got everything ready for us." Lexi told him on the way home.

"Great." Derek said, catching the view in the rear view mirror. Kyra was completely unaware she was going home. Derek next caught Lexi fiddling with the ring he had given her. She caught his eye and smiled brightly.

They were starting a new life together. They were parents. Full-fledged parents. It was wonderful and terrifying at the same time. Even Lexi felt that. There were a ton of new adventures they would have to work through. And they would do it together, he was sure of that.

The End

*~*

Oh wow. I can not believe it's over. This was such a great experience. I thank everyone who has read this and encouraged me to continue! I can not wait to do it again!

A/N: I very much enjoyed delving into the H/P storyline, so I'm thinking of writing a sequel. When and If I do write it; it may be a while before I post anything.

Okay, so here are my big thank yous:

To L, you were such a great help on this; you have no idea. You made it fun to recieve feedback, to make me write better and I can't thank you enough. This story is so much better then I had ever imagined and you had a big hand it that. Your truely amazing!

To my constant reviewers, Celine79, Emochild52, TXCharm86 and Shinecsc for reviewing almost every chapter and giving me things to really think about.

To all those who reviewed, alerted or read this story. It was very encouraging and you made my first fic very special.