Hello, I am UnlikelyLoveUnlimited, and this is chapter seven of Three Stars. Thanks once again to all the people who read and review. You make all this worthwhile. Yes you do. Once again, let me know if I've made a horrible spelling or grammar errors so I can edit. Goodness knows I usually write while I'm half asleep, and that rarely bodes well for my spelling or syntax.
Once again, I don't own Naruto or any of the characters within this story, and that this is a work of parody and Fanfiction, not to be taken as canon. (Although I do assert that Tsunade/Naruto is the greatest pairing ever conceived in all of human history.)
Naruto had finally arrived at Anko's apartment. It was a sparse looking one bedroom apartment on the first floor, in a neighborhood on the other side of town from Tsunade's place, closer to where Naruto originally lived. It was a little run down on the outside, like the inhabitant rarely bothered with outside appearances.
"Mitarashi sensei?" Naruto called out as he knocked softly on the door.
"Huh? Ah, you…Come on in. The doors unlocked." Naruto heard from inside the house.
Stepping cautiously inside, Naruto saw Anko sitting on her living room couch. She was slouched forward, her elbows resting on her knees, a half full bottle of sake in her hand. But what really grabbed Naruto's attention were her eyes. Her eyes held a look so melancholy that Naruto felt a chill run through his very soul. Her eyes, at that moment, were just like his eyes from not so many years ago, before he had met Tsunade. Naruto slowly sat down next to Anko, his hands unconsciously fidgeting at the uncomfortable silence between them.
Anko suddenly spoke. "Well, what are you waiting for? I Didn't think they would send you to do it, but I guess a budding Hokage has to learn how to dispose of traitors, huh. Guess I get to teach you something after all. Talk about ironic."
"Dispose?" Narutos eyebrows furrowed. Everything suddenly clicked together. She was waiting for the Hokage to send someone to "deal" with her.
Naruto shook his hands in front of him frantically. "Nani? Are you crazy? No, No! I'm not here to kill you, or anything that that! I just wanted to talk! Talk!"
"And what, pray tell, could there possibly be to talk about?" Anko nonchalantly took another swig from her bottle. "Why else would you be here? I'm the one who wrote the note, I admit it. It's all I could think to do."
"Huh?" Naruto responded confused.
Not stopping to acknowledge Naruto's confusion, she continued. "I waited for three months. Three months. That's how long I knew, and couldn't think of a damn thing to do about it. I just waited and waited, and last night I just got so fed up I left that note. And before you even ask, no I didn't really think I would get away with it, or that Tsunade would give in to my demands." Anko spat out. "I mean, at first I did. I dreamt of all the ways I could make your lives a living hell with what I knew. But as time dragged on and I never actually had the nerve to do anything, I just..." Anko sighed. "Well anyway, with that note, I hoped to get some resolution, one way or the other."
Naruto was dumbfounded. He had always seen Anko as strong, forceful and even a little scary, and here she was, more vulnerable than he had ever seen her.
"And here I though I was such hot shit." She suddenly muttered angrily. "Teaching a Hokage-in-training and the Hyuga heir. But all along my job was only a cover, a distraction, so no one would suspect that you were Tsunade's pet screw. Not only were you getting to bang the most desired kunoichi to ever live, she was teaching you and Hinata things I or any other Jonin could never even dream of doing." Setting the bottle on the floor, Anko let out a bitter sigh.
"No matter what I try to do, in the end, I'm just a pawn. And that's why I don't really give a shit if the Anbu come an arrest me, or worse. I'm superfluous. There's no reason why I should be here anymore."
Naruto was completely stunned. She was, at that moment, just like he had been before he had met his precious people. Trying his best to put this whole insane situation into perspective, Naruto said.
"I didn't know you felt ignored, but come on, it's not worth blackmailing the freakin' Hokage, right? I mean you're a Tokubetsu Jounin, don't you have more important things to do than worry about me and Hinata all the time?
"No…I don't." Anko mumbled quietly
Naruto deflated with that revelation. Was that why Anko was always early to missions and training? She really didn't have anything better to do. He and Hinata were literally her world. He hadn't the slightest inkling before now, but now it seemed just so obvious. Naruto backpedaled a little, trying a different tactic.
"Listen, Anko-sensei. I know that we hid a lot from you, and I'm sorry about that, but Tsunade wasn't using you. It's just that…well; Tsunade and I fell in love. It's the real deal. And you know the council would have a fit of epic proportions if they found out. Kami knows it doesn't help that Hinata wanted to be with me despite that, or that I came to have feelings for her, too. The fact is, we were all afraid of being exposed. That's why Hinata and I kept this from you, despite you being our team leader. But you have to understand, even so, I've always seen you as my sensei."
"Don't you lie to me, damn you. You have Tsunade."
Naruto turned to face his teacher, who my now was becoming visibly distraught.
"Tsunade is the love of my life, and my Hokage, but not my sensei. The fact that she tutors me is just so I'll make a good Hokage when she retires, that's all."
"But even so, I never mattered! You and Hinata never once thought of me as significant to you!" Anko spat out venomously her face now inches from Narutos.
Even though he had shown up to Anko's apartment with the express mission of negotiation, Naruto was still Naruto, short temper and all. "That's not true! You're important to me, dammit!" Naruto yelled back, his patience worn thin by his belligerent teacher.
"Liar!" Anko almost screamed at him.
The air was almost crackling with anger and frustration, when Naruto suddenly did something very uncharacteristic.
Leaning in he pecked Anko on the lips.
Why he did it could be anyone's guess. Maybe he wanted to show her that she did, in fact, matter to him, or maybe it was simply a way to diffuse the powder keg situation he had found himself in, or maybe he was just so upset that it was the only he could think of making Anko shut up. But whatever random firing synapse was behind that impulse, both were equally stunned and surprised.
"…You…you kissed me…" was all that Anko said, almost a whisper.
Immediately overwhelmed with guilt, Naruto quickly chocked out "Sorry."
But as Naruto tried to move away from Anko, her arms whipped out, wrapping around his neck and she leaned in, delivering a far deeper kiss. And she then quickly gave him a shove, causing the already off balance Naruto to fell back on the couch where he had been sitting a moment before. Before Naruto's brain could even compute what just happened, he found himself pinned, the purple haired Jonin straddling his waist. In her eyes was no longer a look of melancholia, but rather of carnal hunger.
"W-what are you doing, Anko-sensei?"
"You kissed me. No one's ever done that before." she said, her voice soft, yet holding an intense undercurrent. Her trench coat slipped from her shoulders and falling to the floor, leaving her only wearing a short miniskirt and a mesh bodysuit that left very little to the imagination."I'll tell you what, foxy boy. I promise to stay quiet about you, Hinata and Tsunade, but in return, you're mine, as well…" her sentence trailed off with a predatory smile.
Naruto was visibly embarrassed "Listen, Anko, I can't do that!" Naruto pleaded.
"What, am I not attractive to you?" Anko asked with a mock innocent voice, her breasts rubbing against Naruto chest, only a thin layer of mesh covering them.
Naruto almost whimpered. This was not how this meeting was supposed to turn out."No, your very attractive, Anko sensei, But I told you, Tsunade and I are a couple!" He helplessly tried to explain.
Anko looked thoughtful for a moment, sighed, and then shrugged her shoulders. "Fair enough, so then we just won't screw…yet." Seeing the slightly unbelieving look in Naruto's eyes, she explained. "People's perceptions aren't always correct, you know. I'm no sex fiend, despite what some people might rumor. Besides, there are plenty of other fun things we can do. The most important thing to me is that we do it together."
"But why me, and why now?" Naruto asked, completely nonplussed.
"Because I don't want to be alone anymore, and because…well, because it was you who kissed me." She answered simply.
There was an awkward moment of silence between the two, "So for now, then… let's make out!" she suddenly yelled happily. Anko sounded almost like a teenager with her first boyfriend.
Naruto tried to object again, only to be interrupted as Anko's mouth clamped down on his.
While it was true that Tsunade had given him permission to do anything to resolve the situation with Anko, he somehow doubted she had taken this scenario into account. Although he was physically enjoying Anko's attention, Naruto felt awful about this situation. The simple fact was that this was pretty much his fault. His kiss had set something off in Anko, who before was inundated with depression because she felt alone, and he had just inadvertently forged a powerful emotional bond. The fact was, he couldn't very well reject her and hold out hope for a happy resolution. Behind her libido and bluster, she was very emotionally fragile at the moment. Also, with the fact that she felt so alone, something Naruto understood from the bottom of his heart, the last thing Naruto wanted to do was hurt her. And finally, pinned as he was under the half naked Jonin, Naruto was literally in no position to argue with her.
As Anko sat up and slowly began removing her clothes, or what passed for clothes, anyway, and Naruto silently asked himself;
"Oh man…what have I gotten myself into now?"
He was exactly one discarded mesh body suit away from finding out.
One hour of heavy petting later, Naruto laid back, staring up at the ceiling. Anko, wearing only her miniskirt at this point, spooned up against his side, an almost unnaturally contented look on her face.
"Not bad, kid. I didn't know it was possible to have so much fun without going all the way. If I had known that you were this skilled, I would have shown you some "special training" a while ago."
"I'm glad you're happy, Anko-chan. I, on the other hand, have no idea what I'm going to say to Tsunade." Naruto mumbled, still depressed at the idea of having cheated on his fiancé.
"Oh, Kami on a crutch, not this again. Look, just tell her the truth. I was lonely and you helped me out. It will help smooth things over for next time we do this."
"Yeah, I guess…….wait, what?" Naruto voice went from tired and dismissive to panic in half a second flat.
"Oh, this is just the beginning, stud. You're the crazy one if you think I'm about to pass up something this good." Anko said happily while giving the back of Naruto's neck a little nibble. She pouted a little as Naruto's concerned expression didn't lift. "Oh, c'mon, am I really such a horrible bitch that it's impossible for you to believe I might actually care for you too?"
Naruto sighed. "Of course not, it's just that…things were crazy before, keeping both Hinata-chan and Tsunade-chan happy and giving them the attention they deserve. And now this in addition…it's all kind of spiraling out of control."
Anko nuzzled against Naruto. "Personally speaking, that's when things are often their most fun." Anko said with a manic grin. "So don't worry about it. Everything will be fine… oh, and Naruto, sweetie?"
"Yes Anko?"
"If you ever leave me, I'll probably kill us both." She cooed happily as she cuddled against the blond.
"Wonderful…" Naruto thought sarcastically, one of his eyes giving a slight twitch. "My co-dependant psychotic teacher has the hots for me. Just great…"
It had been four hours since Naruto had left for Anko's apartment. Tsunade carried out her duties as usual, handing out that afternoon's missions, but it didn't take a psychic to figure out she was unusually tense. Hinata tried her best to be strong for Naruto's sake, helping Tsunade where she could, but a large part of her was terrified at the prospect of Anko and Naruto possibly fighting. While she preferred the idea of her beloved winning, she didn't really want to lose the best teacher she ever had, either.
Both their heads snapped up from their work as a loud commotion could be heard from down the hall. Hinata dashed out to see what it was, and seconds later came bounding back into the office, a wide grin on her face.
"Naruto's back! And he's alright!" Hinata almost sang out, as a disheveled Naruto walked in with an equally disheveled Anko in tow. Tsunade did not miss how Anko seemed to be hovering close to Naruto.
"Are we alone?" Naruto asked as he shut the door behind them.
"Yes, I gave Kotetsu and Izumo the rest of the afternoon off to train Kiba and Shino." Tsunade answered. "It's safe to talk."
"Mission accomplished." Naruto replied. "Anko promised that she won't say a word."
There was surprisingly little bravado in his voice, which was strange considering that one of his most defining traits was his brashness and his pride.
"I knew you could do it, Naruto-kun!" The pale eyed Hyuga said, overjoyed.
Tsunade raised an eyebrow, looking over the blond appraisingly.
"I'm impressed, Naruto. You managed to diffuse a difficult and complex situation without violence. How did you manage it?"
Naruto's eyes furrowed "It's…complicated."
Walking up behind Naruto, Anko chimed in. "No, it isn't. Just tell them how I was depressed, and you kissed me, and that I then tried to jump your bones." She said matter-of-factly, while draping her arms around Naruto's neck.
"Thank you oh so much for that fine display of tact, Anko." Naruto muttered under his breath.
"What?" Hinata said, utterly shocked. "That's impossible!"
Anko laughed. "Why is it whenever something unexpected happens to you Hyugas, it's 'This is "Impossible!" or 'This can't be!' Really, is your clan really so thick as to think that what you perceived to be the truth is always the absolute truth? I'll have you know Naruto and I were having quite a bit of fun earlier this afternoon."
Tsunade was stone faced. "What are you talking about, Mitarashi?" Her tone was such than even Naruto took half a step back.
"It's no big deal, really. Naruto convinced me I shouldn't try to sabotage your relationship, so in return I decided to get a taste for myself. I have to say, Hokage-sama, you have excellent taste in men."
Naruto flinched visibly, expecting some sort of hurled object, or horrible beating to be the cost of his indiscretion. But instead, Tsunade sat down calmly, and sighed deeply. Naruto noticed for the first time just how tired she looked.
"Of course, that's how it always seems to go, doesn't it? Always the most ass-backwards, roundabout and complicated outcome as possible..." She said to herself sardonically. Rubbing her temples, Tsunade continued to speak, her voice sounding strained. "Naruto, if it's all right with you, I would like to continue this discussion back at the apartment, just the two of us. As I said earlier, I have things I need to talk to you about."
"But Tsunade-chan, I can explain.…"
"Naruto. Apartment. Now."
"Naruto gulped visibly as the Hokage put on her green jacket and began gathering her things for the day. The look that passed between Naruto and Hinata made it obvious to the Hyuga that Naruto would need the night alone with his fiancé tonight.
"Don't worry, Naruto-kun. I can finish up here. You should probably get going." Kissing him lightly on the cheek, Hinata said "I'll see you tomorrow, Naruto-kun."
"Yeah, later stud." Anko said, giving him a kiss of the lips then ruffling his hair, an action which earned glares from both of the other women in the room.
As Naruto and Tsunade left the building, Naruto noticed how Tsunade seemed to be acting very strangely. By all rights he should been unconscious by now from the beating he should have caught from the normally confrontational Hokage. However her subdued, almost tired demeanor in the face of today's events had Naruto both nervous and concerned.
When they returned home, Tsunade sat down at the edge of their bed. Naruto shifted from side to side, nervous about what Tsunade had to say.
"You really are incorrigible, aren't you?" Tsunade started. "Do you thrive on making my life harder than it needs to be?"
Naruto sat down next to his betrothed. "Tsunade. If you had been there you would understand. Anko may act all manic, but the fact is she was very depressed when I encountered her. She was so very lonely, just like I was once."
Tsunade could hear the sadness in Narutos voice as he continued. "You saved me from that hellish loneliness, Tsunade-chan, but there was no one to help her. I just couldn't abandon my sensei. If I can help ease her loneliness, even a little, then I need to."
Tsunade pouted, an unusual look on a face so normally empowered. "You were always like this, from the day I met you. You would always try to help people whenever someone needed you, regardless of the consequences. It's one of your greatest virtues, but it's not always fair to me." Tsunade then said. "But I if you would stand by Anko through this whole debacle, you would stand by me just the same, right?"
Naruto smiled softly. "I would stand with you through anything, I promise as both a ninja and a man. I want to marry you, Tsunade-chan, and never be apart from you."
"Then there's something important I need to tell you."
"What is it?" Narutos voice sounded extremely apprehensive.
Sighing deeply, Tsunade simply said. "I'm pregnant, Naruto. I just found out this morning. You're going to be a father in about eight months."
"……………Nani?" Naruto's voice came out almost a squeak. If there existed a scale with which to measure a person's surprise, Narutos level would have had to be written in scientific notation.
"Of the literal hundreds of times we've slept together we have never once attempted to have you pull out, nor have we used any form of protection. I suppose it's impossible to imagine this not eventually happening. Throw enough shuriken at a target and you'll eventually hit it." Tsunade explained.
"But I thought you were…"
"So did I, but it appears we were both mistaken. Tomorrow I'm going to tell the council that I'm retiring in just three months. Two whole years ahead of an already accelerated schedule. You'll only be fifteen, rather than seventeen. Even with Ebisu, Jiraiya and I advising you, it will be difficult. You are going to have to work harder than you ever have before in order to pull this off. But I have faith in you. If anyone can do this, it's you, Uzumaki Naruto."
Naruto was almost visibly shaking with emotion.
"Nervous?" Tsunade asked Naruto, her voice full of understanding. She was expecting him to react negatively at first. After all, he was just a teenager still.
But then Naruto looked at her, his eyes filled with fierce determination. "Just the opposite. I'm so happy I can barely hold it in. Don't you worry Tsunade-chan. I'm going to be the greatest Hokage this world has ever seen. I'll help this village become the best ever. One worthy of our child." With this he kissed her deeply, and then held her in his arms. Although Naruto didn't see it, as his head rested on her shoulder, tears of joy silently ran down the Slug Sannin's face.
Latter that night, while laying in bed, Naruto let all that happened sink in. He was going to be a father by the woman he loved. To have the strongest woman in the world, and a goddess by any sane man's estimation, chose to be with him, not just as man and wife, but father and mother. It was almost overwhelming. The idea that Tsunade was pregnant with his child was truly mind blowing, and truth be told, also kind of sexy.
"So… Tsunade-chan…" Naruto slowly began.
Tsunade cut him off. "Not tonight Naruto, I'm tired, I have a headache, and the only reason you're not sleeping on the couch for causing that mess with Anko is the fact that I have a sneaking suspicion she might try to abduct you for another make out session, were you and I asleep in different rooms. Good night."
"Of course, of course…Good night."
The next day, the situation was explained in detail to all involved. In return for not exposing them, Anko had joined their group, making their party now one of four. Although Tsunade had made it abundantly clear that Anko was still alive only due to Naruto's pleading on her behalf. Anko also made it equally clear she didn't give a crap what Tsunade thought. And so a very uneasy truce began, between a lonely woman who had finally found a sympathetic soul, a young girl who refuses to let her love be ignored, and a mature bride to be, who needed many, many apologies, gifts, and back rubs before she was willing to let her poor whiskered fiancé out of the proverbial doghouse.
Later that week, Kakashi casually strode into the Hokage's office. "You called me, Hokage-sama?"
Tsunade looked up from the paper she was currently writing in. "Yes Kakashi, you're right on time."
"For once." Naruto muttered nearby, while filing scrolls.
Tsunade continued "I called you concerning three months from now. As you know this October I will be stepping down as Hokage, after advocating for Naruto to take my place. I would like for you to show support for Naruto." Kakashi merely shrugged.
"I heard. Two years earlier than originally planned. That must have come as a great surprise to the council."
"That's one of the reasons I called you here today. We could use your help with securing Naruto's place as Hokage."
"I fail to see what I can do about these things. Naruto already has the backing of both Lord Jiraiya and yourself. What more could I do?"
Naruto spoke up "Kakashi, while it is true that I don't really need you as a teacher anymore, what with Anko and all, the fact remains that I do need a friend, and as many allies as I can get."
"Allies?" Kakashi wondered aloud.
Tsunade interrupted. "Kakashi Hatake, you were once a squad leader in the Anbu black ops. We could use your friendship, your allegiance and especially your connections now more than ever. I think you are in the best position to guard against any maneuvers of force by the council. Even though Naruto has given himself heart and soul to this village, some people within the council remain bigoted against him, even if not openly so. Although I have made the majority of them capitulate to my wishes, it remains impossible to tell if one of them might try to block Naruto's becoming Hokage, or even attempt to fund an assassination."
Naruto commented "A true ninja understands his enemies. It was one of the few things you taught me. And you are perfect for this job. After all, you yourself know of the dangers of unfair partiality better than almost anyone."
Kakashi winced at the veiled reference to his past training of team seven.
"I…See. Well, I'll see what I can do. If you'll excuse me, I still have a lot to do today." Standing up, he bowed twice. "Tsunade-sama, Naruto-sama." So saying he left the office in a puff of white smoke. Naruto smiled at Tsunade, who winked in return. They knew that although he didn't show it, Kakashi was almost sick with guilt over Sasukes betrayal and the dissolving of team seven. If there was something he could do to make it up to one of his students, he would. With this in mind, all that was left was to finalize the exact date for the transfer of title. And they both had the same one in mind. October tenth.
"Absolute insanity..." Itachi Uchiha said in monotone. He and his partner Kisame Hoshigaki stood atop two ancient trees, overlooking Konoha from miles away. "To think, not only is Naruto trained under Jiraiya to the point that they could be considered equals, But to train under both Tsunade and Orochimaru's first apprentice...each event on its own would only be a stumbling block for us, but together, he is rapidly becoming too much for just two Akatsuki members to handle.
"So what can be do?" Kisame grunted "Pein-sama wants him pretty bad."
"We should let our compatriots gather the other tailed beasts first and hope the momentum will allow us to capture what may be becoming the most powerful ninja in a century."
"So then, so first the one tail…that was assigned to Dedaira and Sasori, right?"
"Right. Let them and the others complete their assignments, then when Naruto is the last piece on the board…We all strike at once."
"So then for now we do nothing?" Kisame sounded displeased. "It's not in a shark's nature to stand still."
"Waiting is not necessarily doing nothing, Kisame. In the mean time we must remain vigilant. When the situation and conditions are in our favor, we must be ready."
End of Chapter Seven
Yes! Only two more chapters to go! I doubt that chapter eight will come out quite as quickly, most likely sometime in early December. But I may post an interlude semi-chapter in the interim. (probably only two or three pages.) But nevertheless, I've finally entered the home stretch of this story! Wow, I just realized I've been writing this thing for a whole year now. Either this is a testament to my commitment to writing about my favorite anime, or I am the slowest, laziest fic writer, ever. Anyway, see you next chapter!
P.S. Decided on a title for my Persona 3 fic! Unless someone poaches it before I can get the first chapter up, it'll be called Burn My Destiny. Check my author bio for future details.