Hello! This is UnlikelyLoveUnlimited, this time bringing you a special interlude chapter, For in-between chapters seven and eight. I hope you enjoy it. As always, I do not own Naruto, this is a work of parody, etcetera, etcetera. Enjoy!
Three Stars Interlude: The Dream
After a particularly rowdy session of lovemaking, Naruto had laid himself down to sleep, but instead of his regular dreams, which mostly consisted of Tsunade dressed only in an apron feeding him all the ramen he could eat, the dream was pitch black, nothingness, slowly fading, by degrees, into a very familiar yet sinister surroundings. It was the familiar sewers of his mental landscape. The sewer was, however, almost dried out, with only about a quarter of an inch of water on the floor, creating small ripples with each step Naruto took. Naruto thought this odd, as last time he was there, when he was training under Jiraiya almost three years ago, the water had come up to his calve. The tunnels seemed to stretch on forever, yet all led inexplicably to the same dead end. There was the cage, held shut by a single slip of paper, and inside, the leering face of the demon fox.
"Why am I here, fox? My answer hasn't changed; I will never allow you to escape into the outside world, no matter how much power you could give me. I want nothing to do with you!" Naruto announced angrily as he stood in front of the cage.
A deep rumble permeated the sewer as the Kyubi spoke. "Let's get one thing straight right now, human. I hate you. I hate you more and more which each passing second of every minute of every day. I want nothing to do with you either. In fact, I would like nothing better that to take everything you hold dear and rip it apart in front of you, your women included. But the fact is that, even sealed away in this prison, there are rules to which I must follow. I have brought you here because of actions taken by your oldest bitch, the one named Tsunade. By her decree, a temple dedicated to my lord Inari has been repaired, one which I, in my haste to wipe your village from the earth fourteen years ago, accidentally damaged. By attempting to gain Inari's favor, she has unknowingly righted an offense I had committed against my lord. I am thus now in her debt."
"Her debt? What do you mean?"
"Lord Inari is the greatest of all foxes and kitsune, as well as a kami of grain and fertility. Your woman, the one named Tsunade, silently wished to become pregnant with your seed. And because of her unique physical makeup, she succeeded… although why any female would seek to bear the offspring of a fool like you escapes me."
"I know, she already told me. But how does her becoming pregnant concern you?" Naruto asked, his chest tightening slightly. He did not like the idea of the evil fox being aware of, much less meddling with, his precious family.
"As Inari's child and servant, it is demanded of me that I intervene on her behalf. But sealed within your soul as I am, all I can do is this: by influence of my charka, I will ease the difficulties of her pregnancy, and she shall birth your brood without pain or complications. It will be seen as a miracle, given her age."
"How could you possibly do that in here?" Naruto asked, thoroughly bewildered, both by the implications of what he was suggesting, and that he was even offering his help to begin with.
"Via the means by which you and her charka systems usually mingle with one another, fool."
"What do you mean?"
"Dense as a brick…" the fox muttered. "Your constant copulations, you idiot." The fox sighed wearily, the gust of expelled hot air blowing back Naruto's hair. "Honestly, you two put rabbits to shame."
"Like its any of this is your business." Naruto retorted.
"Well, regardless, it is already begun. Her morning sickness should be reduced, as well as the aches in her body. You should be thankful. There are many men who would kill to have these blessings bestowed on their mates."
Naruto tried to take in what he had just heard. It seemed just too unreal. "Why would go do this for us? How do I know you're not plotting something?"
"I am many things, human, but I am not a liar. I told you already, I do this to settle a debt, nothing more. And besides, it is no skin off my snout if you gain a child. Just another thing for the ignorant, brutal world to inevitably sully and destroy. And the waters will rise again, as they always do…"
"Wait. If you are a servant of Inari, a kami that aids and protects humans, and even prevents fires, why did you attack Konoha all those years ago?"
Kyubi grinned wide with pride. "I am a feral god of nature, boy, and although I obey the natural order of the universe, I will never subvert my will to you tiny apes and you idiotic society. Believe me, I would have done it the minute you humans began populating the forest, had I thought I could have gotten away with it. But by encroaching upon the forest with your tree cutting and over-hunting, I had all the excuse I needed." With this the fox's expression took on a more thoughtful countenance.
"If only it hadn't been for that blasted Minato Namikaze, the one which you Konoha ninja referred to by the alias Arashi Kazama. To think a lowly foreigner who had somehow snuck into your hidden village would rise amongst its normally xenophobic ranks, and ultimately succeed in stopping me…it still seems unbelievable, even though my current habitat it proof of its occurrence. That day fourteen years ago I had not considered that one of you humans might have the skill to seal me. Such a pity. There were so many humans I hadn't killed yet."
"You evil bastard!" Naruto spat out, outraged at the foxes lack of remorse.
The sewer shook with the fox's laughter. "And know this, boy…I give this boon because I must, not because I wish to. Give me the slightest opening in my prison…or let the waters rise enough to flaw the seal… and I will find a way to take it all away from you, forever." The eyes of the foxed looked on, the mad light of hate dancing in them. With that, the world spun again, and as Naruto blacked out he awoke in his bed, Tsunade, sleeping next to him on his left, had her arms wrapped around him protectively, Hinata snuggled against him as she rested on top of him, and Anko's lightly snoring form to his right. Placing a hand on Tsunade's stomach, a thousand questions rushed through his head. Was the fox telling the truth? Would Tsunade indeed be able to deliver without complications? Could he be a good father? Was he still too young? He did not like the idea of having to trust that evil fox with something so life altering. But for now, all he could do was go back to sleep, and deal with things if and when they came along. Stopping to consider his dream for a moment, Naruto realized that the waters in his soul were representative of his pain and despair. That is why the hallways were almost completely flooded when he had first been drawn in there as a child, long before he had met his first positive influence, Iruka, before he had even known what the kyubi was, believing it just another nightmare to mirror the nightmare of his waking life. Although now the water was almost gone, Naruto had to ask himself just how many times had those waters risen almost high enough to damage the seal in his youth, he wondered, and just how many times had his own pain almost destroyed him?
Naruto's mouth formed a thin, grim smile. He whispered to himself "That's just fine. You make all the threats you want, you giant red asshole. Thanks to the love of these women, I will never allow the sadness of my soul to ever inundate me again. You shall never escape, fox bastard. I will see to it, because soon I will have a new generation to protect."
Thanks for reading and be sure to review! Chapter eight will be along sometime in mid to late december, most likely.
In the next chapter: Naruto finally ascends to become rokudaime, and a big announcement! The penultimate chapter! See you there!