So the unthinkable has happened: UM has updated. But this time I'm not going to bore you with really long apologies, because you just want to read and not listen to me grovel. I think this chapter is pretty short, but Word said it was 10 pages, so I cut it off there. Enjoy!

Marth: (pokes head in) UM owns nothing except the plot itself!!

Me: Oh, and as an added, slightly strange note, when I was reading over Bowser's little "crash and burn," Crash and Burn by Blues Traveler started playing on my iPod. XD Oh, and I hope that section is okay; it was my first time attempting to write something like that. Like what? Read and maybe you'll see.

If ever there was a moment to think to yourself, Darn, I should have taken dance lessons when I had the chance, it would have been right then.

Poor Meta Knight. Here he was, kind of stepping back and forth in a meager attempt to dance, trying to keep his eyes on his feet, other couples that he might smash them into, and Jigglypuff, all at the same time. It was kinda clear to see that the last of the three got the most attention, since he nearly bumped into Wolf and Samus twice and almost lost his footing way too many times to count, but, well, what's a puffball to do?

They had been dancing for almost half the song now, and Meta hadn't said a word. God, what had come over him? Why couldn't he just open his mouth and say something? What would he say? You're amazing. You're beautiful. I couldn't live without you. I love you.

Ha. Yeah, right. Like he could truly say that.

First off, besides sounding both random and awkward simultaneously, he still wasn't sure of it. Love, he attempted to convince himself, could be too strong of a word. There was probably some other explanation for the fuzzy feelings, the blushing, the tongue-tied-ness, the...Um...Alright, maybe that point wasn't quite valid. But what also concerned him was the fact that some little part of his brain (okay, maybe a big part of his brain) kept nagging at him, bugging him, poking him with a stick and shouting, "One-sided! One-sided!" over and over again. The odds that Jiggly would actually like him back, he figured, were pretty slim. Slim to none. Zero to none, even. So why embarrass both himself and her?

Right. There was absolutely no reason. And so Meta was content, as much as he could be, with dancing and wishing.

Crap. He nearly ran into Diddy and Dixie Kong, a look of pure disgust on the latter's face. Jigglypuff noticed this and stuck out her tongue. Dixie responded in kind, and quickly turned her back. Meta sighed as she and Candy retreated into the arms of their dates, who were both dressed in their jet black monkey suits (Oh no, he inwardly groaned, I did not just say that.). Jiggs glared at them, but then her emerald eyes went back to him, and she smiled sheepishly. He felt his heart melt, and he could do nothing but smile back.

They stayed like that, in comfortable silence, until the song finally drew to a close. Jiggly squeezed his hand again. Looking straight into her eyes, he squeezed back. The final chord rang out and gave way to one of the new rap songs that had been overplayed (as usual) on the radio. The two crept off the dance floor, hands still intertwined. Was that Kirby, giving him a thumbs up with the one hand not completely mummified with bandages? He didn't know. Right now he was too busy wondering if he should congratulate himself for making it through the dance without fainting or slap himself for the decision to leave that opportunity on the doorstep.

Aw, god, how he hated second thoughts.

You know what, you know what, he was just going to stop thinking about that and focus on enjoying himself tonight. Yeah, sounded like a plan. Good. Finally, he had settled on something.

"Hey, Meta?"

One look at her and that plan was shot. "What is it, Jiggly?" Meta asked.

She seemed to almost falter for a moment. "…Thanks. For taking me and everything."

"…You're welcome." Was that what she was really going to say? Of course it was, he thought. Stop getting your hopes up, it hurts more when you fall.

Jigglypuff didn't show any other signs of indecisiveness. "So," she asked, "what did Bowser want?"

Meta sighed. "More romance advice," he muttered. "Like I'd really know anything about that. Why is everyone coming to me, of all people?"

"Well, I guess they consider you a good person to go to," she offered. "I mean, you are really smart, and understanding, you know?" Meta Knight didn't notice the small blush creeping its way onto her face, most likely because he was concerned about the one creeping onto his own.

"…If that's what you think, then," he managed to choke out. I'm going to be dead before the night's over. Anyone taking bets on how long I've got?

Jiggly gave a small, cute little smile. "Hey, there's Zelda and Marth. Let's go talk to them!" They approached the two, who were sitting around, talking. "Hi guys!" said the pink puffball happily.

Zelda waved. "Hi, Jiggs, hi, Meta!" she said. Marth, however, had to take a few moments before he was able to speak, seeing as he was still simply infatuated with the Hyrulian princess.

"Oh, hi," he mumbled, only just regaining the ability to compose simple sentences. Zelda giggled.

"Good morning, sunshine!"

Marth blinked. "Huh? It's morning already?"

Suddenly, Samus jumped in between Marth and Zelda, causing the former to leap fifteen feet and the latter to nearly fall off her chair. "Konnichiwa!" the bounty hunter shouted. "Jiggly, Zelda, I need your help now!" With that, she grabbed the princess and the puff and ran off, leaving their dates fairly confused.

"…Hey, Meta," said Marth, "can I ask—?"

"No."

The blue-haired princess looked at him. "You don't even know what I'm going—"

"Trust me, I know," said the Star Warrior. "Twice is enough, thanks." Sighing, Marth turned and stared after Zelda.

It wasn't long before his eyes went wide. "What are they doing?!" he said. Curious, Meta glanced over.

"Hmm…It looks like they're spiking that punch with some kind of love potion or something," he observed.

"Well, that's not good," said Marth.

Meta shook his head. "Not particularly."

The two sat there, until it dawned on them exactly what was going on.

"HOLY FUDGE!" shouted Marth. "We've got to stop them before something terrible happens!"

Meta Knight glanced up at the ceiling. "The consequences…Why don't they ever think of the consequences?!"

"Yeah, like Wario falling in love with his butt!"

Meta gave the panicked prince a disturbed look. "…I don't want to know what goes on in that deranged mind of yours," he muttered.

The two quickly went over to the three girls. "Drop the love potion, we've got you surrounded!" shouted Marth.

"Yes, Marth," said Zelda, "the two of you have got the three of us surrounded."

"And this isn't a love potion anyway!" said Samus matter-of-factly.

The Star Warrior looked at the bottle. "Then why does it say 'Love Potion' on it?" he asked.

The bounty hunter shook her head. "No, it doesn't!" she said. "You obviously can't read! It says…Um…Oh. It does say 'Love Potion,' doesn't it?" She laughed nervously.

"I didn't have anything to do with this, honest!" cried Jigglypuff, hiding behind Zelda, who held up a mini white flag in surrender.

Meta sighed. "Give me that," he said, hand outstretched. Pouting, Samus dropped the bottle in his hand. However, none of them noticed a fat Italian man waddling up behind them with his date.

"Sweet, more punch!" shouted Wario happily, with Mona rolling her eyes behind him.

Marth, Meta, Samus, Jiggly, and Zelda all whizzed around. "WARIO, NO!"

Glug, glug, glug!

Too late.

Wario's eyes grew three times larger than normal. Mona looked at him, concerned. "Wario, are you okay?"

Suddenly, the Italian turned to her, hearts in his eyes. "Of course I'm okay! I love you! You mean more to me than anything! Will you marry me?!" He was on his knees, a diamond ring in his hand ("I think that's mine!" muttered Zelda.). Mona was shocked. She looked from Wario to the five of them, to Wario and then the five of them again.

"I like this new Wario!" she said, beaming. They gave her shaky grins back.

"Shall we walk away slowly and pretend this never happened?" whispered Marth. They all nodded and started to leave.

Once again, like a reflex, Jiggly's hand went to Meta's. He looked at her, and then to the love potion still in his hand. Sighing and shaking his head, he gave it one last wistful glance and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

…Alright, alright, tonight's the night I tell her. I mean, I can't deny it any longer. All that other stuff I've been forcing myself to believe: lies. Completely untrue. It'll blow up in my face if I ignore it any longer. I mean, we've known each other long enough. She's so sweet. I've saved her so many times, it's natural, even expected, that she'd like me the way I…I…like…her…

…Okay, this is really, really…bad…Yeah, that's the word. First off, I'm the King of Evil. Second off, she's not even from my world! This wouldn't work, not at all. We have no history together, not like her and Mario, not like her and, heck, Bowser! I don't know if I can compete with either of those two. But…She danced with me. That means I have a chance! It may be a small one, but, heck, I'll take what I've got…

…It was going to happen eventually. Everything was basically leading up to it. I just don't know what to say, what to do. Meta was no help, but who else could I ask? It's a simple concept, I guess. Three words. Three little words. I…Um…No, wait, "um" doesn't count…Oh, now I've confused myself. Well, I'll just wing it. Things will turn out okay. She's expecting it, I think, since I asked her here in the first place. Yeah. Just wing it. …This is going to crash and burn, isn't it?...

…Oh, crud, she just looked at me. I can't feel my legs…

…Walking towards her, slowly, one step at a time. God, I must look like an idiot, barely able to walk. Aw, this is really, really, really bad. Hehe…Put one foot in front of the other…

…Crash and burn, crash and burn, crash and burn…

…Seriously, I can't feel my legs…

…And soon you'll be walkin' out the door…

…Almost there…She's right there…It's all or nothing. Here it goes. Just gotta walk up and say it. Simple as that. Simple…Yeah…

…Here it is. All those years of rescuing and saving and kisses on the cheek amount up to this. Inhale…Exhale…Say the words…

…The phrase that I used to hate so much. Crud. Never thought that I'd actually use this one day. Time to see if it works. Oh…

…Ready? Am I ready now? Am I ready now?...

"Peach…"

"…I…"

"…love…"

"…you!"

The blonde-haired princess glanced up, feeling her mouth drop. Not one, no, not two, but three! Three guys standing in front of her with hopeful looks on their faces. "Um…Um…" Well, what was she supposed to say? Because, Mario, Ganondorf, and Bowser had all confessed their love to her. At the same time.

Finally breaking free from the initial "I just said 'I love you'" shock, the three guys in question suddenly realized that the others had said it, too. And, as ancient animal (and Koopa, and Gerudo) instinct goes, jealousy and feeling threatened can quickly turn aggressive.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

Very aggressive.

The three jumped at each other, each attempting to somehow destroy the other two by any means possible, while a still pale Peach watched on in horror.

"Um, uh, guys?"

"Yes?" said all three in such hopeful voices that Peach's heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach. Fortunately, she didn't have to come up with anything else to say, because Bowser had taken the opportunity to smash Mario into Ganon's back and started the fight again. By now, a few people had started to wonder what was going on, and a crowd began to gather. Peach's face turned bright red.

"Hey, Link, déjà vu, right?" said Ike jokingly, elbowing him.

The Hyrulian sighed. "Do you ever take anything seriously, Ike?" he muttered.

Meanwhile, the fight grew even more gruesome. It made a game of rugby look almost like a tea party. Peach knew it had to be broken up, but how? What was she supposed to do? Just choose one?! No. That would cause even more of a scene than right now. She inhaled deeply.

Maybe her secret weapon would work.

"Mario?"

The plumber's head went up like a rocket.

"Ganondorf?" Up went the Gerudo's head as well. "Bowser?" The Koopa looked up hopefully.

Peach took another deep breath, while the whole rest of the room held theirs. Face still red, she walked up to the three of them. "Guys?" she asked.

"Uh-huh?" they all murmured in a dazed, love-struck kind of tone.

The princess faltered for a moment. Then, she whacked each guy over the head with a frying pan.

"You morons!" she snarled. "Out of the three of you, none of you even thought to check to see if you were the only one asking? Now look what you've done! You've thrown yourselves into some kind of death-match, me into one really awkward situation, and you're causing a commotion so big, the fate of this ball is at stake!" Oh, god. When she exploded, she exploded. Fuming, she walked away, leaving everyone, not just the three with the bumps on their heads, stunned.

There was complete silence, until Ganon muttered, "What a woman."

Bowser glared at him as everyone else started to return to their own business. "'What a woman'? You do realize we've just dropped a nuclear bomb on Peach's life, right?!" he shouted. Ganondorf and Mario both glanced at each other, both knowing that the Koopa was right.

The Italian sighed. "Alright, guys, how about this?" he asked. "We call a temporary truce and go help Peach calm down."

"Truce? I don't know the meaning of the word!" Ganon laughed. He was met with a claw to his throat.

"Start carrying a dictionary," Bowser growled.

Mario glanced up at the ceiling. "I'm guessing that was a bad idea?"

"Oh no, a truce is just what we need," the Koopa said, "because it would be the only thing keeping me from slitting both of your throats."

"Lovely to know how much you care," said the Gerudo casually. Bowser shot him another glare.

"Alright, guys, if we're not going to do this truce thing, I'm going to Peach by myself!" Mario shouted finally, walking after the Mushroom Kingdom princess.

Koopa looked at Gerudo. Gerudo looked at Koopa. And then they both took off, running after him.

Now that the love potion was safely chucked in the trash can (and Wario's digestive track), Marth had gone into interrogation mode (he had even asked Meta to do the good cop-bad cop routine with him), bombarding Samus with questions.

"So who was the love potion for?"

"Where did you get it?"

"Why did you choose the punch?"

Samus opened an eye lazily. "No comment."

Marth's face turned red. "Judge, permission to treat the witness as hostile!" he shouted, turning to Zelda.

Zelda, who obviously hadn't brushed up on her Law & Order know-how, blinked and said, not quite sure of herself, "Denied?"

Meanwhile, Jiggly laughed quietly to herself. Samus would never dream of letting it slip that the love potion, which she had made herself, was actually meant for Wolf. She just hadn't been thinking when she had dumped the whole thing into the punch bowl. It was supposed to be temporary, however, so hopefully Wario would be back to his normal, greedy, fat lump self.

It was too bad. She really would have liked to try it out. Her eyes went to Meta, who was still holding her hand (but that was a given, wasn't it?). If he did like her, as Kirby was convinced was true, would the love potion have done anything? Would he have just remained the same? Or would be down on his knees, proposing, just like Wario?

Jigglypuff laughed. Meta Knight? Proposing? That was pretty hilarious when you pictured it. The Star Warrior turned to her. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing!" she giggled. Though not convinced, Meta shrugged and let it go.

At that moment, Wolf joined them, punch in hand. "Samus, where were you?" he asked.

Marth coughed. "Poisoning the punch!" he muttered quickly. The Star Wolf commander looked to the bounty hunter, who kinda shrugged nonchalantly as if to say, Yeah, and what of it?

"...I don't want to know," said Wolf. Secretly, though, he poured the cup of punch into the trash can behind him. At least he hadn't had any yet…

The blue-haired prince sighed, giving up on his interrogation and returning to Zelda's side. Samus, in turn, returned to Wolf's, and the group decided to split up for a little while. Good, Jiggly thought. It was easier to try to read Meta's emotions if she didn't have four not-particularly-sane people also jabbing in her ear at the same time.

But, now that she was alone with him, the awkward feeling she had before crept back in. But she couldn't let that get her down. She had a mission: find out if Meta Knight liked her without revealing that she liked him herself. Much easier said than done. …Unless, of course, you tried to say it ten times fast without slipping up, but that's really beside the point.

Jiggs squeezed his hand. He squeezed back. (AGAIN.) Okay. One tally for the "yes" side. But still, his unreadable eyes…Ugh! Stupid mask! She sighed. Where were Mewtwo and his mind-reading powers when you needed them?!

Meta must have heard her sigh, because he turned to her and asked, "Is something wrong, Jiggs?"

She shook her head, faking a peppy smile and still attempting to read his eyes. "Of course not!" she said. "This is the most fun I've had since…forever!" Jiggly could feel the smile behind Meta Knight's mask, and she smiled back.

"Same here," he said. "…I'm glad I came."

The balloon Pokémon blushed a bit. "Well, I'm glad you came, too," she said. She secretly wished that they could dance again. The first dance was so short…But Crazy Hand had decided that alternative rock was better than love songs, so she had to make due.

Then, she had an idea. All good romantic scenes take place outside, right? "Hey, Meta," she asked, "do you want to go out to the garden for a while?"

Meta seemed surprised but not unhappy. "Oh, alright," he agreed. The two puffballs walked together into the sweet, night air. Jigglypuff inched a little closer to Meta Knight, and he inched closer to her. They looked out to the stars together, and there was a comfortable silence for a while.

All the while, Jiggs was thinking. Why, Meta? she thought. Why do you have to be so enigmatic? You're making my job so much harder. She let out a small sigh and smiled. I'll unravel your secrets soon enough, she promised herself. Just wait and see.

Oh, god, I love that puffball.

And then, the strangest thing happened. Meta turned to her. "Jigglypuff…" he began, and for the first time Jiggs noticed a small bit of hesitance in his voice. "…Would you like to go flying with me?"

It took a few seconds for her mind to comprehend this, and a few more seconds for her mind to realize that she had said, "Yes," by reflex. Meta smiled again, genuinely surprised that she had said yes.

"Alright then," he said, "hold on." He gave her a few seconds to get ready, then his cape transformed into wings. Meta had just given a huge flap when Jiggs realized that she was a bit of an acrophobic.

But then they were off into the night sky, and the world disappeared behind them.

Meh, I hated cutting it off like that. Good news, though: I know basically where the story's going from here. The next chapter's the big one, guys (though not the end; bad thing about side-plots is the loose-ends to tie up)! I hope you're still reading despite my constant lateness, and I hope that your winter holidays went well! Since I obviously missed them. (glares at herself...wait, how's that possible?)

Remember, the big green button down there is a cookie dispenser! Ciao!

-Umbreon Mastah