Chapter 23: (Again, nothing of import to say up here, save to THANK ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEWED! Seriously, guys. You people make my life so much better. C:
TFR: I'm glad it was sad! That's what I was going for! Wow. I've been deified. That's a first. XD I'm sure OperaRose will be pleased to hear your praise. :)
No problem! I was mightily impressed with myself for being able to get out two chapters in one weekend. That was pretty badass, if I do say so myself. Wow, thank you! I'm glad you liked the chapter that much!
I wonder what you're going to think of this chapter…
Wolfgirl1272: I know that feeling. Books get me to cry WAY more frequently than real life. …Sorry, but I don't really understand this sentence….
Panda Bear: Poor Sabo…I'm glad you found his death tragic, though. Pauvre Ace…now he's all alone…
Ooh, that sucks. Being sick by itself sucks, but also having to write three reports? That SUCKS sucks. I'm glad your last one went well though.
PS: Hope it's out soon enough for you!
Theunknown: I know…I'm kind of a monster…DX Aww, don't cry! But I'm glad it was that emotional! Wonderland! But first there's some other stuff that has to happen. We'll get to Wonderland by the end of this chapter, though. Hope this update's out soon enough for you!
E: I'm glad you found his death tragic! Hope this is out soon enough for you!
Guest49: I'm glad you thought so. Bonus Question: well, based on what my (admittedly not extensive) research tells me, the human body (adult) has approximately 5 liters of blood, which, in a healthy individual, is replaced in 120 days. That comes out to be one liter in about 24 days, down to 41.6 milliliters per day. Approximately.
Guest (no name (roo17?)): Glad you liked it :) Ooh, that sucks about your internet. Isn't it nice, being able to steal wifi, though? ;D
I'm glad you liked it! I wish I could write like that. The last poem was really nice. I honestly can't decide which of the two I like better.
Ah. Well, it'd probably be sadder if you liked Sabo more. Sorry if it wasn't sad enough for you. :( It is a shame he had to die. Alas, the plot was calling. Poor little Ace…he really needs a hug. Mental breakdown? *smirk* well, if that doesn't sound similar to current symptoms aboard a certain yonkou's pirate ship. Wonderland! It's really only going to be introduced in this chapter. We'll really start exploring it next chapter. Marco, Thatch, and Whitebeard will be in this chapter a little more. It's hard to put them in without throwing off the general flow of the chapter, so they really haven't made any appearances until now.
No problem! You too! C:
WARNING: This chapter is rated M for VIOLENCE, SWEARING, and AN EXPLICIT RAPE SCENE. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS, THERE IS A NON-DETAILED SUMMARY OF EVENTS OF THE SECOND HALF OF THE CHAPTER IN THE AUTHOR'S NOTES. PLEASE, IF THIS SUBJECT IS TRIGGERING FOR YOU EITHER DROP THE STORY OR READ THE SYNOPSIS INSTEAD. I WOULD HATE TO CAUSE ANYONE ACTUAL ANXIETY WITH A WORK OF FICTION. THERE IS ANOTHER WARNING BEFORE THE CHAPTER GETS REALLY INTENSE, SO IF YOU THINK YOU MAY BE TRIGGERED, READ TO THE NEXT BOLD TEXT AND THEN SKIP TO THE BOTTOM.
Alright, and now, ON WITH THE CHAPTER.)
Silence.
Terrible, terrible silence.
Ace sat, pressed against the bars of his cell, ears tuned for any sound, any tiny noise. Anything to tell him his brother was still breathing.
He heard none.
"…Sabo..?" Ace's voice was hoarse, quiet and desperate, barely more than a whisper.
No reply.
The sound of movement, heavy footsteps, came from Sabo's cell. But the sound was wrong, the footfalls too heavy, the noise of military boots…
Sabo's cell door opened and Hare came striding out. He was smiling. In his right hand, the only hand Ace could see, he held a scalpel. But that wasn't what terrified Ace.
Hare was covered in blood.
Ace scrambled back from the bars, recoiling in horror. His mind was racing. Oh God, no. His brain was in a state of denial. Sabo couldn't be dead; he had been speaking to Ace just this morning. Sabo wasn't dead; he hadn't finished explaining the message of his latest poem to Ace. Sabo…Sabo couldn't be dead, he hadn't come home and met Luffy and seen the island and heard the waves yet. Sabo couldn't be dead, couldn't be because he hadn't been freed yet.
Ace found himself pressed against the back wall of his cell, Hare outside the bars smiling in at him cruelly. Hare opened the door and slowly strode inside, moving towards Ace. Ace remained pressed against the wall, his breath coming in short fast gasps. Sabo…Sabo couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be. Ace's brother was not dead because of him. Another member of his family wasn't gone because of him. He felt a void forming in his chest, and a cold hollowness was embedded in his brain.
Hare continued getting closer and Ace stared up at him with wide eyes, looking completely lost. Hare's smile widened.
"Don't you have a hug for your brother?" Hare brought his left hand out from behind his back. In his hand he held Sabo's face, peeled off without damaging the skin or features. Ace's eyes moved sluggishly to the object, his mind completely blank. Hare moved closer still as Ace tried to get his mind to figure out what that skin-colored fabric Hare was holding was. A mask…?
Hare raised Sabo's face so it was even with Ace's own, completely visible for the first time. Ace's eyes focused on it once more, his listless mind trying to catch up. Hare brought the face closer and closer. Now it was less than a foot away from Ace's own face.
Ace's mind started working again.
Ace's eyes widened and his stomach revolted, making him gag. Sabo's face. That's Sabo's face. Ace pressed further back into the wall, trying to tell himself to turn away, but his eyes refused to move, locked onto the horrible sight before him. Ace tried to press further back into the wall, away from Hare, his breathing further shallowing.
Hare brought the face closer still.
The coldness in Ace's brain was growing larger and his breathing was so fast it could hardly be considered breathing at all. Ace let out a strangled whimper. Some of Sabo's still-warm blood dripped onto Ace's chest. The face was less than 6 inches away.
"It's your fault." The face was speaking now, seemingly reanimated. The empty place where eyes should be stared at Ace, filled with darkness. "It's your fault." The voice was hollow, monotone. There was no inflection, no humanity. Ace stared in utter horror, eyes wide. The face seemed to grow angry, pulling itself into a snarl. "Your fault. Your fault. YOUR FAULT." Ace continued to stare in horror at the mask, neither denying what it said nor running away. Blood dripped out of the face's lips and onto Ace's skin. Ace whimpered again. The face laughed, throwing back it's chin and closing its eyes. More blood spattered out of the mouth, staining the rest of the face with specks of crimson.
It jerked itself back down, facing Ace once more. The eyes opened again, pits of darkness staring into Ace's soul. A wide, inhuman grin was on its lips. "Do you wanna see my corpse?" Ace's jaw was slack, his eyes wide, unable to speak. "You can't. You can't because it's gone. It's gone and it's YOUR FAULT. There's not even a body left. No corpse. No corpse. No corpse." The voice had gone singsong, grin still in place. "I was thrown over the side. Garbage. Nothing more. Tied to a rock and dropped to the cold depths of the sea, the cold depths of HELL. Crustaceans are picking at my bones and I can feel worms crawling into my skull. Everything will be gone soon, no speck of me left on this planet, everything I ever dreamed of, everything I ever was, gone. Everything." The face seemed to inhale and the grin faded. "Except my eyes."
The face was cold again, devoid of humanity. "Except. My. Eyes." Each syllable was overly pronounced, enunciated. Ace couldn't breathe. "Do you wanna know where my eyes are?" Ace continued to stare, desperate but unable to turn away. Ace forced himself to shut his eyes, not wanting to hear or see any more. "Look in my eyes, Ace. Look at me. My eyes. I know you want to know where they are. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me." Ace tried to block out the voice, tried not to hear. "Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me." The voice was getting inside his skull, crawling through his brain, and there was nowhere to hide. "Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me." Ace couldn't take it, couldn't take the voice swallowing its way inside his head. He opened his eyes.
Ace's mouth fell open in utter horror, eyes wide.
He was the face, he was the mask. In front of him, no more than a foot away, his own body sat, bloody, bruised, and torn. Except his face. Except his face. Ace's face was smiling back at him under its mess of unkempt black hair. A massive, impossibly, painfully wide grin contorted his face, inhuman and unrecognizable. It wasn't Ace that stared out of that face. Sabo's eyes were wide, a ring of white showing all the way around the blue iris. There was nothing human in his eyes. Nothing sane, nothing relatable, only the primal animalistic and the madness. Ace only saw it for an instant, utter horror and terror and everything Ace never wanted to see again. The image seared itself into his brain and Ace tried but was unable to scream, had no air. He was drowning, the weight of the sea crushing down on his ribs, lungs full of water. Ace could feel a crab crawl down his throat and begin to pick at his stomach and intestines. He felt something moving inside his head and felt a worm crawl out of his eye. He felt other worms eating through his mind, laying their eggs in his memories, feeding their offspring in his emotions. Sabo grinned back at him, the water crushed him, the worms swallowed his soul.
Ace's vision went black, his unconscious body falling to the floor.
The first thing Ace knew when he woke up was that he could breathe again. There was no ocean in his lungs, no maggots in his brain, no crab eating him from the inside out. His eyes were his own once more. The second thing he knew was that the air smelled nice. Vanilla. Vanilla and sunlight. Ace knew the smell like he knew his reflection. It was just…natural. Perfectly, perfectly natural. Ace felt safe, when he smelled it.
The third thing Ace knew was that he was laying on the floor, his head resting in someone's lap.
At this realization, Ace's eyes opened. Before him, light blue fabric sloped gently off someone's knee, fanning out on the floor like a piece of the horizon. The fabric was soft under his face, warmed by his body heat mingling with that of the person whose leg his head was on. Why do I know this smell? Why is this texture familiar to me?
…Why am I not afraid?
The person was running their fingertips gently through his hair in a gesture so gentle, so comforting, Ace couldn't help but feel calm wash over him. He was warm. He was comfortable. He wasn't alone. It was nothing short of an answered prayer. I know this. I know all of this. Why? Why is this familiar to me?
The person above him started humming. It was a gentle melody, light, sweet, and relaxing. A lullaby. Ace felt his heart constrict painfully. He swallowed hard and tears bit at his eyes. He knew. He knew who this was.
"Mother." The word came out quiet, barely more than a whisper. The sound was weak, fragile. The fingers hovered just above his head, pausing for a moment. The humming faded gently away. The figure above him leaned down, a cascade of light brown hair coming with her. She pressed her forehead into the side of Ace's head gently.
"That's right. I'm here. Right here beside you." Her voice was equally soft, but stronger, surer. Warm. "You've been so, so brave. I'm so proud of you." Ace swallowed again, his tears threatening to escape.
It was too much.
Ace let himself be a child again. His hands closed tightly around her skirt, squeezing it in his fists, barely holding back his tears.
"It hurts, Mama. It hurts so much. Everything hurts. And now? Everyone's gone, too. Sabo's dead, Mama! My brother's dead! What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to go on? There's nothing left. Nothing left to live for! My brother's gone, I'm hurt, bleeding, and broken, and I'm scared, Mama. I'm so, so scared." Ace pressed his face into her skirt. "…I wanna go home."
"Shh, it's okay. I know. I know. I know it hurts, and I know it's scary, and I know it's sad, but you've been so strong, Ace. My beautiful, brave boy." She pressed a kiss into the side of his head. "But I need you to be strong for a little while longer, okay?" Ace's whole body was shivering lightly. He started suddenly, eyes going wide, staring at a point on the wall.
"Something's breaking, Mama. Something important." Rouge's hand on his head pressed onto his scalp firmly, and her other hand gripped his shoulder. Rouge's eyes were widened too, and she felt anxiety building in her.
"Ace, nothing's breaking. I need you to come back. Nothing's breaking. Everything's fine. You and I will keep it from breaking okay? So come back." Ace's body relaxed again, his eyes drifting shut. Rouge relaxed too, and resumed the gentle stroking of his head. They were quiet for a moment, Ace lost in his thoughts and Rouge trying her best to relax him, bring him peace.
Ace had never felt such warmth before. Such…complete and utter peace of mind, such natural comfort as he did with his head on his mother's lap. Well…that wasn't quite true. The first night of Luffy's life, just after Sophie's death, he had sat in Luffy's room and held him all night, rocking him gently. Then he had felt similar, holding his newborn little brother, but this was different. This time he was the one being comforted, the one being held.
It was the first time in Ace's life that it had happened.
Ace let his eyes drift softly closed. A sudden thought pressed into his mind, momentarily distracting him. If she's here, then… Ace swallowed.
"…Am I dead, Mama?"
"No, sweetheart. You're still alive. I was just permitted to visit you, given the circumstances and several…strong arguments on my part."
"…I want to be dead, Mama." The fingers once more paused in their stroking. Rouge looked down at him surprised.
"Why?"
"Because. I'm…I'm always going to be hated. If I keep living, something like this is just going to happen again. There's never going to be anything better."
"Ace…" She was staring down at him with sad eyes. She started suddenly, as if hearing a noise, and looked about the room, placing a hand on Ace's shoulder protectively. Her eyes searched about the cell quickly, then stopped, focusing.
Right on Whitebeard and the others.
She stared at them for a moment with wide eyes, but then relaxed again, a soft smile coming to her face. She looked back down at Ace. She bent down and whispered, almost conspiratorially.
"Would you believe me if I told you that you're going to have a family?" Marco looked at her in surprise.
"What?"
"In a couple years, you'll have a bigger family than you ever imagined. You'll have so many siblings, the world government can't even keep track of them all! They'll be spread out over the seas, so you won't always be able to see them, but they'll all still love you." She chuckled softly. "You'll probably be worrying constantly about all your little brothers and sisters. But that's not all." She looked back up at the three pirates. "You'll have two older brothers." Her eyes were soft, looking at Marco and Thatch. "Two older brothers who'd be willing to fight the devil himself to keep you safe." There was a tiny pause as she shifted her focus to Whitebeard. She smiled at him softly, warmth in her gaze. "And a father. A father who loves you more than you'll ever be able to know."
"…Will I die soon?" Rouge looked down at him in confusion.
"Why would you say that?"
"Because," Ace was smiling, tears quivering behind his eyelids. "That sounds like heaven."
Marco felt tears in his own eyes. All this time, Hare had been slowly breaking Ace down, bringing him pain, suffering, and loss. Ace had reached the end of his rope. That was why Rouge had come. But even she hadn't been enough to pull Ace back from the brink of despair. It had been them. Rouge had promised Ace that he would find them. When Ace's entire reality consisted only of suffering and darkness, they had unknowingly been a light. They had brought him hope.
"…Why did you do it, Mama?"
"What do you mean?" Ace's face was pressed into her skirt, body tense.
"Why did you die for me?" Rouge smiled softly.
"Because I love you."
"But why? How could you still possibly love me when all I ever did for you was get you killed?"
Rouge fell silent for a moment. The smile had left her face, but there was a peaceful, serene look in her eyes. She looked out at the opposite wall, as if seeing something there besides the wood. Then she began to sing. Her voice was quiet at first, the beginning notes rippling across the air like petals.
"Who knows when love begins?
Who knows what makes it start?
One day it's simply there,
alive inside your heart.
It slips into your thoughts,
it infiltrates your soul,
it takes you by surprise,
then seizes full control.
Try to deny it and try to protest,
but love won't let you go
once you've been possessed.
Love never dies.
Love never alters.
Once it has spoken,
love is yours.
Love never fades.
Love never falters.
Hearts may get broken,
love endures.
Hearts may get broken,
love endures.
And soon as you submit,
surrender flesh and bone,
that love takes on a life
much bigger than your own.
It uses you at whim
and drives you to despair
and forces you to feel
more joy than you can bear.
Love gives you pleasure,
and love brings you pain,
and yet when both are gone,
love will still remain.
Love never dies.
Love never alters.
Hearts may get broken,
love endures.
Love never dies.
Love will continue.
Love keeps on beating
when you're gone.
Love never dies
once it is in you.
Life may be fleeting,
love lives on.
Life may be fleeting,
love lives on."
The last note floated off into golden silence.
"…That was beautiful." Ace's voice held a touch of awe, but it also held fatigue. He was tired. So, so tired. Rouge smiled down at him and kissed his head.
"Your brother wrote it." Ace gasped in surprise.
"You-You met him?" Ace's voice was instantly filled with grief and guilt, but there was also a tint of hope.
"Yes. He's an amazing poet. I never knew words could sound that beautiful." Ace's tears were back, once more threatening to spill over.
"Tell him…Tell him I'm sorry, I'm so, so very sorry. It's my fault, it's all my fault he-"
"Stop. He knew what he was doing. It was an act of his own free will. He was glad, to be able to save you." She paused for a moment. "He…He wanted me to give you this." Rouge reached behind her back and picked up the gift from the floor.
A book. A small, faded, brown leather notebook.
Ace stared at it for a moment, then slowly opened it. Shape and Form. The familiar title greeted his eyes like the smile of an old friend. Ace swallowed thickly. "Sabo…" A sense of peace washed over him when he opened the book. Peace, and a smell like wax and old lace. The name was no more than a whisper. He gripped Rouge's skirt tightly once more. "Mother…will you promise me something?"
"Anything." Ace smiled gently at the book.
"Take care of him, will you? He…He needs someone to need him. Never let him be alone." Ace flipped through the pages, coming to rest on the second to last page where a poem Ace hadn't heard greeted his eyes. "Crabs aren't solitary, it isn't in their nature." Rouge smiled down at him.
"My son's brother is my son. He's a bit of a troublemaker, but I'll look after him, don't worry." Ace yawned involuntarily. Rouge giggled lightly at him. "Go to sleep, Ace." Ace's eyes drifted slowly closed, relaxing into her presence. She began stroking his head again. "You're almost there, sweetheart. You're not alone here. Help is coming. You'll get out of here soon, I promise. Never lose hope. And always remember, I'm with you. Whatever happens, I'm here beside you." Rouge began humming again, the same quiet lullaby Ace was sure she must have sung for him as a baby. He was on the very cusp of sleep, and he knew that she wouldn't be there when he woke next. He had one more thing he needed to say.
"I love you, Mama." Her humming paused, and she pressed a kiss into Ace's hair. He felt a touch of dampness with that kiss. Tears? But Rouge was smiling, happier than she could ever remember being in her life.
"I love you too, baby." The humming resumed and Ace drifted off into dreamless slumber, the first real rest he'd had since he'd left Fuushia. The lullaby's melody finished in a last, trembling note.
The scent of vanilla faded.
(THIS IS THE SECOND WARNING. FROM HERE ON OUT THERE IS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF TORTURE AND RAPE. IF THIS WILL UPSET YOU, PLEASE SKIP TO THE SECOND AUTHOR'S NOTES NOW.)
Ace woke up on the floor, head resting gently on the wooden planks.
He was alone.
Ace knew he should have felt sad, and he did, but more than that he felt peace. Deep serenity. Sabo didn't hate him or blame him. He was somewhere better. His mother didn't hate him either, and she was taking care of Sabo now. Ace felt more awake and aware than he had for almost a week. He smiled gently to himself, and hummed the first few measures of Rouge's lullaby.
"And what might be making you so happy?" The melody froze in Ace's throat and the smile died. He turned his head slowly and saw Hare standing inside his cell, a few feet away. Ace's anger overtook his fear. He glared at Hare murderously.
"You killed Sabo. Not only that, you broke your promise to him." Hare quirked an eyebrow.
"Oh, but did I? I promised him I wouldn't touch you. I didn't. I didn't lay one finger on you all of yesterday. I'm a man of my word. But the promised 24 hour period is up." Hare took a step forward and Ace shied away. Hare paused, studying Ace. He strode forward quickly, kicking Ace's shoulder so he was laid flat on his back. Instantly Hare pressed a booted foot against Ace's sternum, preventing movement. Ace cried out briefly as his broken and fractured ribs screamed their protest to the pressure, but then stopped to glare up at Hare. Seeing the glare, Hare smiled down at Ace.
"This is more fight than you've had in over a week. Pleasant dreams, perhaps?"
"The only dreams that are 'pleasant' end with you dead in a pool of your own blood." Ace snarled the words at Hare. Hare chuckled to himself, bending down, bringing his face closer to Ace's. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Ace lashed out with his right hand, raking his fingernails down the side of Hare's face. Hare made a sound of surprise and pulled back, still keeping his foot planted on Ace's chest, but now upright, hand pressed to his bleeding cheek. He drew the hand away and studied his lightly bloodstained fingers in surprise.
Hare looked back down at Ace. His eyes had changed, though. No more was there the mocking, patronizing distance. His eyes were full of complete, frozen rage. He kneeled down, now pressing on Ace's right shoulder with his knee, using one hand to stretch Ace's right arm out to its fullest, holding down the limb by the wrist. Ace struggled, trying to pull away, but Hare's bodyweight prevented him from escaping. He turned to glare at Ace with the same freezing stare and Ace paused, petrified.
He'd never seen Hare like this.
"Having spirit is fine. Having fight is fine. But you'd better remember your damn place, Ace." Hare's voice contained such fury that Ace automatically shrunk back. Hare's face pulled into a sadistic joke of a smile. Ace battled with his terror for a moment. Give me strength, Mother, Sabo…
"You'll never break me. I know where my place is. My place is back in Fuushia Village. I am Gol D Ace, son of the Pirate King and Portgas D Rouge and I AM STRONGER THAN YOU." The smile left Hare's face. It had gone dead. Completely devoid of emotion. All the fury seemed gone from his face, except the eyes. They were aflame with anger.
"Then it's time for some remedial lessons. How sad that a week and a half of work has seemingly gone to waste. But I'm sure it won't take long to bring back the fear. The seeds of terror, once sewn, can never be completely eradicated." Hare's voice was cold, icy to the point of complete detestation.
Hare turned away from Ace's face as Ace continued to glare up at him. He felt Hare grab the forefinger of his right hand, holding it tightly.
"Let's start with your hand. You won't be needing it anyway." Hare bent the digit harshly to the right, accompanied by the sound of snapping bone. Ace's back arched in pain as his finger screamed its distress. A shout of pain tore itself out of his throat, but Ace cut the sound off, biting his cheek. I am Portgas D. Ace, brother of Luffy and Sabo. My mother died to save my life, but she still loves me anyway. I am stronger than this.
Hare grabbed the next finger.
"What is your place in this life?"
"To live freely. To seek companionship, wherever I may find it."
"Wrong." Hare snapped the next finger. Again Ace's back arched, but he held back his scream, biting into the side of his cheek, tasting blood. Hare grabbed his next finger, his ring finger. Ace's eyes were squinted shut against the pain, his body trembling gently. I am Portgas D. Ace, brother of Luffy and Sabo. I love the sea and the sound of waves breaking and starlight. I am stronger than this.
"Do you deserve to live?"
"Yes. Others have died for me. To die now for no reason would be to make those sacrifices in vain."
"Wrong." The finger snapped, and this time Ace did scream, unable to hold it back. This time, his body automatically tried to curl into a ball, pulling against Hare's weight on his arm. He felt tears in his eyes but shoved them back harshly. No. I am Portgas D. Ace, brother of Luffy and Sabo. One day I am going to have a family, a family that loves me. I. Am. Stronger than this.
Hare grabbed his last finger.
"Why do you live?"
"To give my life for someone else as others have given theirs for me."
"Wrong." Hare snapped the last finger and Ace screamed in agony. The pain subsided to a powerful ache radiating up his entire arm and Ace realized shock must have sunk in. Hare bent down so his head was next to Ace's and Ace automatically tried to flinch back. "You live only to die. You were born so that others could kill you. You're going to die in front of the whole world and no one will weep. They'll laugh. They'll laugh and spit on your corpse. Assuming there's a corpse left, after your execution. No one will ever care about you. No one will ever mourn you. You'll burn in your own personal hell because even God knows it's too unbearable to leave someone with you for all of eternity. You're going to die young and you're going to die alone." The last sentence echoed in Ace's head, but in a different voice. In Garp's voice.
"…No…That's…that's not true." Ace's mind was going dull now from the shock, vision growing unfocused in a haze of pain. "I…I'm not…" Someone…someone said they'd be beside me. I'm…I'm not alone… "I'm not alone, and I'm not going to die." Hare laughed cruelly. He jerked a scalpel from his coat and stabbed it harshly into Ace's shoulder.
"Oh aren't you? Prove it. If you're so loved, why are you here? We've been out on the sea for over a week now, yet I've never seen anyone coming after you, not even an attempt at a rescue." Hare dug the knife further into Ace's shoulder, twisting it sharply and eliciting a cry of pain from Ace. "And as for the whole 'death' bit, what's to stop me from killing you right now? There's no one to save you, no one to stop me. Death is so easy to brush off as accidental. They'll never know how you really died. They'll just know that there was an outbreak of a destructive virus on the ship. We tried our very hardest to save you, but the fever just wouldn't break. You effectively burned to death from the inside out. And that'll be it. No more questions, no more inquiries." Hare snorted. "You won't even get a gravestone. And no one will care. No one will care how painful your death was, and certainly no one will try to save you from it. If they were going to, they would have done so already, right?" The words sank into Ace's weakened mind. He's…He's right…No one has come to save me…
Hare saw the uncertainty in Ace's eyes and a cruel gleam entered his eyes. One last hammer fall, then he'll break. Ace felt more than saw Hare stand, his weight leaving Ace's arm. Hare looked down at him with a vindictive smirk and gave him a harsh kick to the stomach, driving all air from Ace's lungs, and turned towards the door, exiting the cell.
Ace lay still on the floor of the cell, not even finding the will to pull his arm back towards himself and study the damage done to his hand. His mind was in a fog bank of pain and shock, and he wasn't…he wasn't thinking right. His brain stumbled around sluggishly, and for a moment he thought he saw something, someone, standing there in that mist, but a moment later it was gone, leaving nothing but an impression. Fur, animal ears, and…words. Words Ace couldn't recall. Finally, finding no way through this asphyxiating haze of ache, he gave up. He just…let himself…be. He didn't think, he didn't feel, he just…watched.
But even watching was becoming too much effort.
Ace sank deeper into the mist in his mind, just sitting himself in it, no longer bothering to try to make out shapes like memories and emotions through the curling obscurity. It hurt less this way. No longer looking at memories of something better or hoping for a different future.
Blinding pain, clear agony ripped the mist to shreds and Ace screamed. Hurt, pain, hurt, pain, agony, hand, broken, breaking, stop, hurt, hand, stop it, pain, pain, pain, pain. Ace came back to his senses lying on his side, curled in a near fetal position, trying to pull his broken fingers out from under Hare's boot. Hare pulled his foot away and instantly Ace was curled in a ball, the broken appendage clutched to his chest, eyes shut tightly and teeth gritted against any sound. Hare smiled cruelly.
"Oops." Ace heard the noise of laughter, gruff and callous. It wasn't Hare laughing, though. And it was more than one voice. Ace forced his eyes open and looked about the room. Hare had brought other marines with him. Ace did a quick head count. There were 11 others besides Hare. Ace felt tension building in his stomach.
Something was wrong.
Marco looked between the assembled marines, trying to figure out why they were possibly there. He knew something was coming, and he knew that he definitely wasn't going to like it. Looking between the faces of the marines there, he saw a sickening darkness in all of them, a combination of sadism and bloodlust. But why? Why were they there? Hare was more than capable of inflicting pain on his own. Marco looked to Hare, searching for answers. There was something…brewing, like a storm, something terrible, growing and gaining momentum in that crowd. Hare was looking down at Ace, a predatory gleam in his eyes, triumphant and dark.
"On your stomach." Marco's eyes widened. Oh God… Marco raised a hand to his mouth, horror apparent in his face. Ace had turned back to Hare, glaring up at him hatefully.
"Fuck you!" Hare smiled ironically and Marco felt his stomach tighten. Ace didn't even understand. Marco's hand curled into a fist. No please don't, don't let this actually happen, please. Hare turned to one of the marines, extending his hand expectantly. The man snickered and handed something off to Hare. It was a fairly thin bar of metal, iron or steel most likely.
The end glowed bright red like a dying star.
Ace's eyes instantly focused on the red-hot metal. As Hare brought it closer, Ace began backing up, away from the coming pain.
Well, until one of the present marines grabbed his ankle.
The man jerked it back towards the crowd, Ace shouting as he was dragged over the wooden floor by the broken limb. Once his movement stopped, he instantly began trying to pull away, but the man was still holding his ankle and even the tiniest movement made his leg flash with pain and caused any thought of moving to instantly leave Ace's mind. Hare drew nearer and Ace stared up at him with wide eyes. Hare kneeled down beside Ace, holding the hot metal where Ace could see it clearly.
"I'll only ask nicely one more time. On. Your. Stomach." Ace stared at the bar for a moment, then forced his eyes away, swallowing his fear and glaring at Hare.
"Fuck you."
Agony. Blinding, white-hot, burning, searing agony. Ace didn't remember screaming, his mind blotted over with the bright white of pain. He didn't remember convulsing, his body spasming randomly in a desperate attempt to make it go away.
When he came back to his senses, the man holding his feet had a broken nose and was holding down both his legs, blood streaming down his face. There was also a man near his head, holding his arms. Ace's entire body was trembling from the pain, every nerve in the general area of his shoulder screaming at him to not do whatever it was that he had just done again.
Hare stood above him with the metal.
"On your stomach." Ace tried to throw back a retort, but found himself unable to speak. His body was weak, so, so weak. He'd pushed it so far, and everything can only bend so far before it breaks.
But he refused to submit.
Ace turned his head and spat on Hare.
Hare nodded to the marine holding Ace's arms and the man grinned, stretching Ace's left arm out to the side.
The agony began again. It started near his shoulder and traced down his arm slowly, slowly, slowly, each millimeter that the metal moved across his skin bearing fresh agony. Once more Ace's mind was completely blank, aware of nothing but pain, hurt, each individual cell's death. His back arched and he screamed again, writhing in anguish.
After uncountable moments, the pain stopped. Or rather subsided.
Ace lay on the floor, his entire body shaking. His breath came in hitched gasps, sticking in his throat as he fought not to scream again.
"On. Your. Stomach." Ace weakly turned his head towards Hare. Hare was holding his right wrist, the hot metal just centimeters above his broken hand. Ace tried to tell his arm to pull away, to fight Hare's grip, but found he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough. His body simply couldn't do it anymore.
He was helpless.
Hare seemed to sense the change in Ace, and his face pulled into a smile.
"You can't do it anymore, can you?" Ace glared up at Hare, his mind rushing with hatred and anger, and told his body to deny it, to prove him wrong, to lash out.
It didn't.
Hare smiled at him, triumph in his eyes. Ace felt panic begin to grow in him. He couldn't fight. He couldn't even run away.
"How does it feel, Ace?" Hare handed the bar back to one of the marines. "How does complete powerlessness, complete helplessness feel?" Real fear began settling in Ace's mind. Hare had won, Ace couldn't fight back anymore. Wanted to, but couldn't. So why is he still here? Why isn't he leaving?
…What's he going to do to me now?
"Let him go, he's not going anywhere." The two marines holding Ace's hands and feet released him, and Ace stared up at Hare, trying to mask his growing fear with anger.
"They say a cornered cat will bite. I say shoot the cat." Hare crouched down by Ace's head, looking him in the eye. "We couldn't very well shoot you, but it's not like you're capable of biting back any more." Ace glared up at him and Hare smirked.
Ace could only watch as Hare reached over him, grabbing his left shoulder and rolling him onto his stomach. Hare then grabbed his arms and brought them above his head, resting his left hand over his right. Ace heard the familiar sound of a scalpel being drawn and shut his eyes, waiting for whatever pain was to come.
And pain did come.
It split completely through the center of each of his hands, a single slit of pain through his palms. Ace looked up at his hands to see the scalpel stabbed clear through them, impaling them and pinning them to the floor. Even if he found the energy to move, he wouldn't be able to now. Not without completely mangling his hands. Ace looked at Hare with wide eyes, unable to mask his growing fear any longer. …What now?
Hare walked around behind Ace and Ace lost sight of him. He could hear Hare's footsteps down by his feet and fought to control his breathing. He hated this, not being able to see what was going on and knowing he was helpless to stop whatever was coming.
He felt Hare – or was it one of the other marines? Ace couldn't be sure anymore, blind as he was – grab his left leg and spread it away from his right. He heard one of the marines moving behind him, and he felt the man's larger form looming over his own.
A hand was placed on Ace's back, up by his neck. Ace automatically flinched, expecting a blow or some other kind of pain, but none came. Ace felt his trepidation growing, instinctively knowing something was terribly, horribly wrong.
The hand began trailing downward, tracing slowly down his spine. Ace whimpered as some salt from the man's sweat got into one of the innumerable lashes on his back.
"Make him do that again." The voice came from further behind Ace, not the man whose hand was on his back. The voice was low, primal. Lustful.
And Ace knew. Ace knew what was coming.
Oh God. The hand continued its slow drawl down Ace's back, and Ace's fear only continued to grow. He couldn't fight back. He couldn't run away.
He was helpless.
The hand was about halfway down his back now. Ace tried to tell his body to run, fight back, anything. But he couldn't. Ace felt desperation setting in. If I have ever made a friend in this life, let them save me now.
The hand continued it's downward trail.
No one came to save him.
Ace's fear only continued to grow, his stomach knotting. The man's hand continued moving, occasionally stroking gashes or cuts and pressing against bruises, trying to get Ace to whimper or gasp again.
The hand grabbed onto the waistline of his shorts.
Ace bit his lip hard to suppress a whimper.
"Whenever you feel alone or afraid, Ace, there's always someone else you can turn to." Makino's kind, smiling face pulled itself into Ace's mind. Ace shut his eyes tightly and began to whisper.
"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name-" The hand grabbed a fistful of his hair, yanking his head back. He gave a small cry of pain and fell silent.
"That's right, Ace. Pray. I'm sure God will come to save you." The hand shoved his face back into the floorboards harshly. He felt his shorts being pulled roughly over his hips and squeezed his eyes tightly shut.
No one's…No one's coming to save me. Nobody cares. Ace felt tears coming to his eyes. Nobody cared enough to save him from something this cruel, this inhuman. Ace felt the man spread his legs further.
The man forced himself inside of Ace and Ace couldn't help the cry of pain that leapt out of his throat. He cut off the sound, though, biting hard on his lip. The man began thrusting, gaining momentum as time passed. Ace tasted blood and realized his lip had split from his biting it, but he didn't care. Ace squeezed his eyes shut. It hurt. It hurt really, really bad. No one cares about me. Nobody's coming to save me.
Tears pricked at Ace's eyes.
I'm alone. Entirely. Utterly. Alone. The man was panting, grunting occasionally. Ace felt like he was being torn in half. The man only continued going faster, deeper, harder and Ace wanted to throw up, wanted to scream, wanted to run away.
Ace wanted to die.
I'm completely alone. Tears continues to rise behind Ace's closed eyelids and why hold them back any more? The last of his dignity was already being taken away. That conversation with my mother? Nothing more than the byproduct of exhaustion and a guilty conscience. A dream. She's dead. Sabo's dead. They both hate me because it's my fault they're not alive anymore. Shanks must hate me too. His promise? A lie. A sob wracked Ace's frame, and tears began trailing down his face.
It was the first time amidst all the pain that Hare had put him through that Ace had cried.
The man came heavily, groaning with pleasure. Ace's sob turned into a choked cry of pain as he did, and Ace grit his teeth tightly to resist a second cry of pain as the man pulled out of him.
Another man was there in an instant, all to willing to take his companion's place.
Ace's mind began to sink into its mist again. Tears continued streaking down his face and he sobbed openly, unable to contain the grief, the loneliness, the pain any longer.
The second man forced his way inside Ace and Ace cried out again.
There's nothing left. Nothing left to hope for. Ace's mind was growing distant, the man behind him fading away, becoming irrelevant. There was just the pounding of flesh against Ace's own and the pain. Always the pain.
Ace sunk further into his mind, trying to hide himself in memories. Luffy's fourth birthday, just a few months ago. Makino making them dinner on thanksgiving. Ace's eyes widened.
No…No! The details were fading. Ace couldn't remember. He couldn't remember the exact shade of Makino's eyes, the way Luffy's face had lit up at his birthday present, the texture of Shanks' coat. It was all fading. The mist swallowing it into the nothingness. Ace tried desperately to seize onto that last refuge, but it was abandoning him. The villagers, his friends, his neighbors, were becoming faceless. Tears streamed down Ace's face with renewed vigor, grief of what he had lost, what he was losing filling him.
Whitebeard's back was to Ace, a hand over his mouth, his eyes closed. Disgust was roiling in his stomach. Who could do this to a child? Who could do this to anyone? It wasn't just disgust occupying his mind, though. There was also hate. Lots, and lots of hate. He would kill Hare. He would kill everyone who had been in this room. He would kill everyone who had been on this ship.
"This is the man you wouldn't let Ace kill." Serpent's words jolted Whitebeard out of his thoughts. He blinked in surprise.
"What?"
"This is the man you wouldn't let Ace kill. This. Man. What I can't figure out is why the hell he listened to you." Whitebeard swallowed thickly, guilt building in him.
"I-I didn't know. I didn't know that Hare had-"
"That what? Hare had tortured him? Raped him? Killed his brother? Well you should have damn well asked before deciding to let Hare live." Serpent's voice was snide and angry, full of righteous fury. Whitebeard bowed his head, shame, guilt, and sorrow taking up residence in the pit of his stomach.
"You're right. I should have."
"No, Oyaji. It's not your fault." Marco could see the guilt in Whitebeard's face.
"You know, you're right Marco. It's partially your fault too." Marco turned and addressed the room at large since Serpent wasn't physically with them.
"Oh? How do you mean?" Marco felt trepidation rising in him and ran over everything Ace had said to him in the past couple of weeks. Serpent's voice became a snarl.
"He was trying to tell you this! He was trying to tell you all of this! But no. No. Your God damned work was too important!" Marco's eyes widened.
"Marco…I need to talk to you about something." Ace didn't look at him, and his voice was a mess of raw grief, guilt, sorrow, and pain. Marco failed to hear the emotion, and merely twitched in annoyance, his grip on the pen tightening imperceptibly. When he spoke, his voice was cold and more than a little angry.
"I'm kind of busy right now, Ace. Can it wait?" Ace glanced up at Marco.
"But it's really important-" Marco turned to look at him, patience at an end.
"I said I'm busy. Now if you'll please excuse me."
"He trusted you to be there for him in a way he trusted no one else and that was what you gave him." Serpent's voice went sarcastic, mocking. "Good job, Marco. Good fucking job." Guilt beyond anything he had ever felt filled Marco. He felt frustration building in him, his fists clenching tightly. Damn it, can I not do anything right? All I've ever done is let Ace down when he needs me. I'm completely useless! DAMN IT. Marco lashed out, striking the barrier with flaming wings. He sank to his knees, still pressed against the wall.
…I never pictured Death with blue wings. Marco's head jerked up, as did Thatch's and Whitebeard's. Ace was looking at them. His eyes were unfocused, bleary. He had lost so much blood, he was literally hanging on the edge of death. His eyes were locked with Marco's. Marco's widened eyes stared into Ace's desperate for forgiveness, recognition, anything.
"Ace…"
The man thrust deeper and deeper and Ace cried out briefly, the pain reaching new levels. He was sure he was bleeding. You don't feel pain like this without some kind of physical damage. He hurt. He hurt so much, and there was nowhere to hide from this pain. Everything was gone. Everything Ace had ever found safety and comfort in was gone.
There was no way out.
He was going to stay here. He wasn't going to escape or get away. He was going to be a prisoner here for the rest of his life. And Hare would make every day of that life a living hell. Nobody dead or alive cared about him. He was alone. He'd never be free again. Ace's eyes shut tightly and his teeth clenched as the man came, thrusting deeply into him one more time. Ace felt his teeth creak and was amazed they didn't break under the pressure he was subjecting them to.
A third man came to Ace, shoving his way inside of him. One hand found its way to Ace's hip while the other tangled meaty fingers in his hair.
There were…there were 12 men in the room. Ace swallowed thickly at the realization. He couldn't do it. He could not survive this another 9 times. He would pass out. He would die. He had no more reserves to fall back on, no strength to sustain him through this. Ace's mind continued to sink deeper into its embracing fog.
The last of his memories faded away into the mist.
Ace had nothing left. There had been nothing before this, and he had no reason to expect anything better in the future. This would go on forever. This pain. This humiliation. This bitter solitude. This worthlessness.
There was no way out.
"But there is a way out." Ace opened tearstained eyes, looking to his left where the voice had come from.
Dress shoes. Black. Shiny. Ace's eyes moved up a little farther.
Long legs. Slacks. Elegant. Black. Still further up Ace's eyes moved.
Pea coat. Dark, dark grey. Unbuttoned.
Black waistcoat. Buttoned. White dress shirt underneath. Dark tie. Really dark blue or black. Hard to tell which. His eyes trailed down elegant arms.
Gloves. Simple. Elegant. White. Gold pocket-watch, tick tick tick.
Ace moved his eyes to the face.
Hazel-grey eyes met hazel-grey eyes. White fur, perfect, unblemished, brilliantly bright, covered the head. Two long ears, rabbit ears, arched up off the top of his head.
He was smiling. Just a small, conversational upturn of his lips.
He extended an elegant hand towards Ace, snapping shut the pocket-watch and putting it back in his pocket.
"Let's be off, Ace. We're behind schedule. Running very close to late." Ace stared up at him.
"Who are you?" The creature placed one arm across his chest and bowed elegantly at the waist.
"I'm the White Rabbit. I'll be your guide, if you'll permit me. Now," He extended his hand toward Ace again, the smile widening slightly. "Shall we?"
(A/N: Whew this is a long chapter. To those of you that it was too extreme for, I'm sorry. It was necessary for plot progression. I promise this is the most M rated chapter in the entire story. And now we're into Wonderland! YAY! I can't even tell you how much fun stuff I have planned! It's going to be amazing.
Oh, BTWs, credit goes to Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber (yes, he is a knight) for the simply gorgeous song Love Never Dies.
Synopsis for sensitive readers: After Hare breaks his fingers, Ace sinks into a kind of 'mist' in his mind, shock, pain, and the beginning of his PTSD. Hare returns later that day, something he never does, and brings 11 men with him, something else he never does. After further torturing Ace to the point where his body literally refuses to move anymore, Hare and the others rape him. Ace's mind really collapses now, all supports leaving him. He loses hope entirely. His memories 'fade into the mist' and he wants to die. Serpent yells at Marco and Whitebeard for not listening to Ace when he wanted to kill Hare. Ace sinks further into his mind, completely out of hope. "There was no way out" are the last words he thinks.
And then the White Rabbit appears.
I describe him being dressed in black dress shoes, black slacks, a dark grey pea coat (unbuttoned), a black waistcoat, a white dress shirt, a dark tie (Ace is unsure whether it's dark blue or black), and white gloves. He has a gold pocket-watch. He and Ace speak (The White Rabbit's dialogue is identical to what he says to Ace in chapter 11 at first) and the White Rabbit introduces himself formally, saying he'll be Ace's guide. The last line of the chapter is him inviting Ace into Wonderland.
Yeah. There you go. General synopsis. Again, I apologize if this chapter was too extreme for you and I swear this is the only chapter like this. This is actually the reason the rating changed, because I had this scene planned.
Alright. Well, as usual I'd just LOVE reviews, and I'll have the next chapter out ASAP. Bye everybody! ~Mountain97)