Day 03 - The Power to do Anything?!
Keitaro groaned as he got out of bed. "The same dream again? Do I have a bunny fetish or something?"
Stripping off his pyjamas and replacing them with his usual attire, Keitaro yawned as he looked at the calendar.
"Okay, this isn't funny anymore… I bet Kaolla's been playing with the invisible ink." he thought. He didn't bother ticking off the squares this time.
After sliding the door open, Keitaro walked into the hallway. He trod on the skateboard again.
"OH CRAAAP!!" He cried out.
In the living room, everyone was all present with the exception of Haruka. Everyone was just getting ready for breakfast, when Keitaro repeated his dynamic entrance, causing all the girls to scatter in different directions.
This time, Keitaro tried steering the skateboard instead of just closing his eyes in a blind panic. He tried swerving it from side to side. Now, instead of landing in the wall, Keitaro turned sharply to the right. He blasted straight through the main door and, with a gigantic splash, fell face first into the hot springs.
There was no sound coming from Keitaro.
The girls all looked at each other before rushing outside.
"OMIGOSH! KEITARO! DON'T DROWN!!" screamed Naru.
Without a moment to lose, Naru swan dived into the hot springs. She later resurfaced with a motionless Keitaro. She delicately laid the ronin on the ground. The girls looked at him. He wasn't breathing.
"CPR!" thought Naru. It was the only way.
The girls watched with surprised faces (amplify the word 'surprised' by a hundred times if your name is Shinobu, or a thousand for Motoko) when Naru pinched Keitaro's nose. She was centimetres away from giving him the kiss of life… when suddenly Keitaro woke up by spurting water all over her face. A major anticlimax.
Keitaro looked at Naru with a nervous laugh. She was on top of him and her t-shirt was drenched and see through. Heaven, Keitaro thought. Absolute heaven.
Naru's face now resembled the prince of darkness on steroids.
The girls took many weary steps back…
-0-0-
After Naru's mega punch, Keitaro returned home and joined the tenants for breakfast. He rubbed his sore chin when everyone tucked into their food. Eggs and bacon. Again. Even weirder for Keitaro was that everyone still appeared un-phased. Hadn't nobody even noticed?
"Okay… so I take it we're having eggs and bacon every morning. Okay. No problem. No problem at all."
"Damn this is annoying!" Naru groaned in frustration.
"What's wrong, Narusegawa-san?" asked Keitaro. "Hang on…"
"It's this… this stupid puzzle! I can't make heads of tails of it!"
"Could this be…?"
"Perhaps I can help?" asked Motoko.
In the end the puzzle travelled in a circle, with none of the girls getting the answer.
"Um, want to have a go, Senpai?" Shinobu asked, giving the problem to Keitaro.
Keitaro accepted it, and Shinobu blushed when their fingers barely touched. "Uh… yeah…" he said.
Naru huffed and put her arms around her waist. "Hmph! As if Captain Moron can solve…"
"Apostrophe!" Keitaro cried in alarm.
All cutlery dropped to their plates. They all looked at Keitaro with shock, horror and amazement. Even the bird outside was awestruck, as it collided face first into a clear window.
"Did Keitaro just…?"
"Did Urashima just…?"
"Banana!"
"Holy cow!"
"Senpai did it?!"
"Gimme that!" Naru shouted, snatching the puzzle away from his limp hands.
Naru looked at the anagram again. And again. And again!
"He's right!" she said with astonishment.
"Ah right! Way to go Keitaro!" Kitsune cheered (any excuse to crack open another bottle of sake).
Shinobu said nothing, though her eyes spoke volumes. They were replaced by two glowing golden stars of admiration. Motoko had to leave to her room, since she couldn't think of anything appropriate to say. She was probably the most confused of them all.
Before the situation could get any more… odd, Keitaro said, "Um listen, I've got some errands to do outside. Please excuse me!"
He bowed and rushed outside, leaving the girls to their own emotions.
-0-0-
Keitaro was at the Bowling for Beef restaurant with his friends, Haitani and Shirai. He watched the two as they chewed into their steak meals. Then he took a good long look at his cola drink, the fizzy sparks escaping from his glass.
"Damn, she is so fine!" Haitani said to himself, his eyes staring at the busty maiden behind the bar.
"Way outta your league though." commented Shirai.
All Keitaro did was take in silent breaths of air. They were saying the same things as before, and they didn't seem to know about it. Was it a dream? Or was it something completely different? Perhaps everyone is pulling a prank on Keitaro? If the latter, then it was one hell of a prank…
Haitani nearly finished his meal when he looked at Keitaro. The lanky friend wondered why he was acting so quiet and emo-like.
"Hey, Keitaro, are you alright?" Haitani asked seriously, "You haven't touched your cola."
Keitaro took one deep breath, and then replied with, "Say, guys, do you mind if I ask you a… weird question?"
Shirai shrugged. "Go ahead."
Another deep breath.
"What would you do… if… if you realised you were living in a time loop… like… for instance… tomorrow doesn't exist… and you go through the same day, everyday?"
Incredibly, Haitani and Shirai understood every word Keitaro said.
Haitani stroked his chin. "You mean, no matter what happens today, tomorrow would be exactly the same as, well, today?"
Keitaro nodded.
Haitani's eyes glanced over to Shirai. Shirai's eyes glanced over to Haitani. They both smirked at the same time.
"That… would be so awesome!" they answered together.
Keitaro raised an eyebrow. "It would?"
"Yeah!" replied Haitani. He seemed to be really excited. "Think of all the possibilities! I mean, you could commit all sorts of crime, and tomorrow, it would be like nothing had ever happened!"
Keitaro put this into perspective. "So what you're saying is… if I somehow got stuck in this time loop… which I haven't… then I could do… anything I want?!"
The duo nodded… and the two of them turned into fantasy mode. They had their eyes rolled atop their eyelids, and their mouths were drooling.
"Heh heh," thought Haitani, "I could touch boobies and get away with it!"
"Heh heh," thought Shirai, "Each day I could order a different takeaway, so I could find out which one is the tastiest!"
After finishing his drink, Keitaro rose from his seat. "Listen guys, I gotta go. See you around, 'kay?"
His friends did not reply, for they were still in their dream modes…
-0-0-
When Keitaro returned home with shopping, Keitaro and Naru then did their usual study routine. Keitaro wondered where Shinobu, Motoko and Kaolla disappeared to. Surely they didn't go to school again? Either they go to school every day of the week… or… wait! School on a Sunday? That is just plain barmy.
"Hey Narusegawa-san?" Keitaro asked.
Naru lifted her head up slightly to look at him. "Hmm? What is it?"
Was Keitaro caught in a time loop? If so, what Haitani said may well be true. He could say anything, and tomorrow, Naru would be none the wiser. But what to say? Keitaro had to think of something, because Naru was still staring at him, with growing curiosity.
"Why is your hair so… light browny?"
What a thing to say.
"Excuse me?"
"Ah, never mind! Forget I said that!" Keitaro backtracked, waving his arms with an eyesmile.
"Um, sure. Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay thanks!"
Silence once again. Naru went back to writing some more equations on her notepad.
"Hey Narusegawa-san?"
Naru didn't bother to look at him this time, apparent that she grew a little frustrated. "What is it now?"
"You know Haitani and Shirai?"
"Your perverted friends?"
"Yeah, my… perverted friends. Well…"
He cleared his throat. God, he couldn't believe the next bunch of words he was going to say.
"…if you… you… (ahem) if you were forced to have sex with one of them, who would you choose?"
The ink in Naru's pen made a huge diagonal line over her questions. She looked at Keitaro like he was a cross between a mutant and a giant robot. "Ah! Wh-what?!"
"I said if you were forced to have…"
"I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID!" Naru shouted. "I just… you… and you… saying… that…"
Keitaro's stomach was in multiple knots, but managed to untie them all as he continued talking. "Well?"
As for Naru, her face was redder than a tomato with sunburn. "Oh sheesh I don't know…"
A two second pause.
"Look, if I answer this question, will you promise me not to talk for the next three hours?!"
"Uh, okay. I promise."
"I'd… choose Haitani, okay?"
Keitaro asked, "Why Haitani?"
"I DON'T KNOW! BECAUSE HIS FACE LOOKS SIMILAR TO YOURS, ALL RIGHT?!?!"
"…"
"…"
Naru felt all the wind pass out of her body. She let out the most unholy gasp ever heard to mankind. The knots in Keitaro's stomach came back with reinforcements.
Before the situation grew even more embarrassing, Naru gave Keitaro a giant super punch, and he flew faster than a bullet infused with lightning.
-0-0-
The time was now a few minutes to five. The main doors of Hinata-Sou were open, and Kaolla, Motoko and Shinobu all entered the main room.
"W-Welcome home!" Keitaro greeted them with a bow, still shaken to what Naru had said to him. The fist to the face didn't help matters either.
Motoko greeted him back. "Good afternoon…"
"…diabolical pervert?" Keitaro interrupted.
Motoko widened her eyes. "Huh?!"
"You were going to call me diabolical pervert, weren't you?" said Keitaro.
"NO I WASN'T!" spat Motoko, who then marched fortissimo to her room.
Kaolla and Shinobu looked at Keitaro and tilted their heads, wondering what caused Keitaro to say something like that. Keitaro just rubbed the back of his neck and laughed.
Normally, Naru would have come downstairs to greet the younger girls, but she was way too preoccupied with the actions that took place a few hours ago. In short, she was still freaked out, and rightfully so.
-0-0-
Keitaro put the phone down and sighed.
"Aunt Haruka still has some things to do in the tea shop." he said to everyone.
The tenants had their own ways of reacting, but it was mostly overruled with a simple 'oh, okay'.
The sky darkened and the time was well past seven. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was for dinner.
"Naru? Are you okay?" Shinobu asked innocently.
"I'm fine thanks." Naru muffled into her food.
Keitaro stole a short glance at Naru. He felt like he done enough to her for one day…
-0-0-
After dinner, Keitaro tried his best to clean the house head to toe, though he didn't know why, since the filth would probably just regenerate tomorrow. Well, at least there was no hole in the roof to sort out… though he did have to fix the broken window, the one which he found himself being smashed through by a punch during the midday.
He knocked on Naru's door.
"What do you want?!" Naru shouted.
"Um, I need to fix the window." Keitaro replied lamely.
"Forget it! I already covered it with cardboard!"
"Oh… will that be sturdy enough?"
"Yes! It will be sturdy enough! Now go away!"
"Okay…"
Sighing in defeat, Keitaro lolled forward and walked to his bedroom. It was only just gone eight, but Keitaro helped kill the time by reading some comic books.
He absentmindedly thought of what Haitani said to him, his words echoing around the room.
"Think of all the possibilities! I mean, you could commit all sorts of crime, and tomorrow, it would be like nothing had ever happened!"
An hour later and Keitaro put away the comic to get ready for bed. His thoughts turned into a dull whisper. He looked at the ceiling and contemplated this possible newfound madness.
"The power to do anything…"
Maybe it was a time loop… or maybe… it was justa very intelligent prank. There was only one way to find out.
Keitaro removed the top half of his pyjamas, and hid them underneath the mattress…
…
Author: Thank you for your patience thus far. The next chapter will (hopefully) have you in hysterics.