Day 05 - Like Living Inside a Game Book
Keitaro shot out of bed, flustered and dripping with beads of sweat. By some miraculous, heavenly act of power, Keitaro returned to Hinata-Sou, untied and unharmed. The feeling was… indescribable. Certainly beyond anything he had ever experienced. He slowly looked at his trembling hands, the same hands that, not so long ago, were touching things that never should have been touched. Ever.
His initial instinct was to rush downstairs to the living room and apologise profusely to everyone. He would bow so lowly, his own nose would be pressed onto the floor… but that thought in his brain stopped, and was replaced by a thunderous beating from his heart. Fear, excitement and insanity completely overwhelmed him. He realised the girls would be back to normal, without any knowledge that three of them were heinously violated in the chest department.
He recollected what he did last night. He literally exploded right in front of their bewildered eyes. The look on Shinobu's face before she alerted the police. Motoko and Kitsune. Oh my goodness, how they reacted!
And Naru. Naru Narusegawa. The look on her face was absolutely priceless. Her expression was the equivalent of finding out someone had slaughtered her entire family tree. She just stood there, half submerged in water, watching Keitaro squeeze her puppies, petrified out of her skull.
Keitaro… had the power of time loop syndrome. This power changed him. Made him do things even a psychotic madman would think twice about. Truly an unorthodox, yet incredible gift to behold… and only he, Keitaro Urashima, had this gift.
He pondered upon this unusual predicament. He felt like he was living inside a fantasy game book, with many choices and thousands of pages. His purpose, no, quest was to discover the outcome of each choice he made.
He heard a light tap on his door.
"Um, Senpai, breakfast is ready!" Shinobu called out softly.
Keitaro pondered for a moment. What answer would he choose?
"Okay, thanks Shinobu-chan!" "Yahoo! That's awesome!" "We should get married some day." "Can I touch you?" "I like tomatoes."
"I like tomatoes."
Shinobu, still behind Keitaro's door, felt confused. "Eh… ah… oh…okay?"
Keitaro listened to Shinobu scamper back to the living room. "Why did I say that?"
-0-0-
As he joined the tenants for breakfast, Keitaro looked at his plate. In addition to his regular bacon and eggs, he now had a few sliced tomatoes on the side. Keitaro realised to himself that even three simple words could make a surprising alteration to the day. He glanced over to Shinobu's direction, noting Shinobu was watching him and his plate. Shinobu quietly gasped and averted her eyes back to her food.
"This food is really nice, Shinobu-chan!" Keitaro thanked.
"Shinobu smiled into her plated and blushed. "Th-thanks!"
Keitaro then mentally counted from three backwards. "Three… two… one…"
"Damn this is annoying!" Naru groaned in frustration.
"What's wrong." sighed Keitaro.
"It's this… this stupid puzzle! I can't make heads or tails of it!"
"Perhaps I can help?" asked Motoko.
The puzzle travelled in its usual circle.
"Um, want to have a go, Senpai?" Shinobu asked, giving the problem to Keitaro.
Keitaro accepted it, and Shinobu blushed again when their fingers barely touched. "Let's have a look."
Naru huffed and put her arms around her waist "Hmph! As if Captain Moron can solve something I can't!"
"Hey! That's not a very nice thing to say!" Keitaro protested.
Two seconds of immediate silence followed. Naru, nor the others did not know how to reply. Did Keitaro just stick up for himself?
Motoko politely cleared her throat, looked at her plate and closed her eyes. "Though it is true Urashima. You are not exactly the sharpest man on the planet."
Keitaro decided to ignore Motoko for the time being, and his eyes remained focused on Naru. Naru felt a little on the edge. She never expected Keitaro to take her words so seriously.
"Tell you what, if I can solve this anagram in under ten seconds, then you have to do the shopping Naru!"
Naru widened her eyes. She didn't mind doing the shopping, not in the least, but it was the confidence shown in Keitaro's voice that surprised her. Surprised everyone in fact.
"And if you lose?" asked Motoko.
Keitaro thought about this for a moment… before replying with, "If I lose then I will never bother Naru for one month! That includes her helping me out with my studying!"
Naru looked away and huffed. "Uh… wha…? Uh… alright fine! See if I care!"
Keitaro pretended to study the anagram. After four seconds, his eyes lit up.
"I got it! It's apostrophe!"
The sound of shocked silence made Keitaro feel great, even though it already happened twice.
Naru cut through the silence. "Eh…? Ah, gimme that… …omigosh! He's… he's right!"
"Oh! Nice job Keitaro!" Kitsune grinned.
Kaolla cheered, though she didn't quite understand the situation. She probably just cheered because the atmosphere had changed into a more exciting one. Shinobu looked at Keitaro with starry eyes again.
Before Naru had a chance to retaliate, Keitaro mockingly stretched his arms and said, "Well, aaah, looks like you'll be doing the shopping Naru!"
Naru tried to reform her defences by crossing her arms. "Alright! Alright! I'll do the shopping! Geez, you make it sound like I never get out of the house!"
"Well, I do wonder sometimes." replied Keitaro.
Naru became slightly annoyed from his words. "Eh?! What do you mean, 'you wonder sometimes'?"
Keitaro shrugged and said, "Well… it's just that you're always locked away in your room."
"Am not!"
"Well I think you are!" and then Keitaro changed his voice to a more robotic tone, "Hel-lo. My. Name. Is. Na-ru. All. I. Ev-er. Do. Is. Lock. My-self. In. A. Room. To. Stud-y."
Kitsune quickly covered her mouth to stop herself laughing out loud. She knew how Naru was a study-bot when it came to examinations. Kaolla held herself and giggled at the strange voice Keitaro developed.
"Wha..?! I ah…"
Naru looked around the table for support. She looked at Kitsune. The fox was wiping away a tear. Some best friend she turned out to be. Naru then looked at Kaolla. The genius was laughing even louder now. Naru then looked at Shinobu. The blunette felt embarrassed, but at the same time she made a few muffled giggles as well. Naru lastly looked at Motoko. Disciplined, loyal, faithful Motoko.
"Meep!" Motoko squeaked, making a sound similar to a mouse. She quickly covered her mouth afterwards.
Keitaro could not believe the attempted giggle coming out of Motoko.
Naru turned red and started to vibrate. Knowing her friend way better than everyone else, Kitsune instinctively covered her ears.
"WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT A STUPID LOSER THREE YEAR RONIN!" she bawled out, and ran immediately to her room.
The laughter quickly stopped and everyone did feel a little guilty afterwards.
-0-0-
When Kaolla, Shinobu and Motoko all left for school, Naru went outside to do the shopping, leaving Kitsune and Keitaro inside Hinata-Sou. Both of them were in their respective rooms, and of course, Kitsune was completely drunk.
After leaving his room, Keitaro slowly opened Kitsune's door by half an inch before peeping through. Already the fox had boozed herself up to the state of near unconsciousness. She looked like a lifeless rag doll as she rested lopsidedly by her bed.
"This is gonna be sweet!" Keitaro thought, rubbing his hands together and grinning wickedly.
He withdraw a bottle of ketchup and started to unscrew the lid…
-0-0-
"Hmph! That idiot has some nerve insulting me like that!" Naru thought with rage.
Carrying three bags of shopping, Naru stomped up the stairs and returned to Hinata-Sou, completely unaware that Keitaro was also outside, and was crouching behind some exotic vegetation by the hot springs.
"Come on Naru… just walk a little closer…"
He could hear her footsteps getting louder.
Louder still…
…and then…
"BOO!!"
Keitaro jumped out right in front of Naru and shouted at the top of his voice. Naru screamed in the highest pitched sound imaginable. Shopping was launched everywhere and Naru tumbled backwards into the hot springs with a calamitous splash. After a hard mornings work, she did not exactly appreciate the greeting.
Naru spurted a large amount of water, unsure whether to be astonished or just really pissed off… so she settled for both. Her eyes resembled two big 'X's' and her face reached boiling point. "K-KEITARO?! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!?!"
Keitaro pointed at Naru and laughed for ages.
"LOOK AT ME!" she continued to shout, tugging at her wet top, "MY CLOTHES ARE RUINED!!"
Keitaro was still laughing.
Naru felt like a mega punch was in order, but she reached a point of being so stressed out, that all she wanted to do was get the shopping sorted out and go inside. She waded out of the hot springs to pick up the items of food that were scattered around (i.e. all of them). Keitaro was still laughing.
Seething to herself, Naru packed away the shopping and walked inside.
Her throat seized up.
The bags unconsciously dropped to the floor.
Kitsune lied in a heap in the middle of the living room. Motionless. Covered in blood. Next to Kitsune's body was a kitchen knife. Also covered in blood.
Naru could only scream with insanity.
"Hu…huh?!… aaah… ah…. Ee…. EEEEEEKKKK!!! KITSUNE?! KITSUNE!!! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!!"
Naru ran over and lifted Kitsune's head. She couldn't stop crying.
"KITSUNE!! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!! C-CAN YOU SPEAK?!? DID… DID KEITARO MURDER YOU?!?!"
Keitaro had now joined the commotion inside. He couldn't contain himself much longer. He was in a fit of hysterics.
"KEITARO!! YOU… YOU TWISTED BASTARD!! YOU STABBED MY BEST…"
Naru sniffed Kitsune's body.
"Huh?"
Last time she checked, blood did not reek of tomato sauce.
Just to make sure, Naru opened the buttons of Kitsune's shirt, and inspected her body thoroughly to see if there were any knife wounds. There were none.
Now Naru was livid.
"You… YOU TRICKED ME?!?! YOU AND KITSUNE?! MY BEST FRIEND AND KEITARO?! NNNNGGH! NNNGH!! RIGHT! THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA STUDY! I'VE HAD ENOUGH BULLSHIT FOR ONE DAY!!"
Keitaro, still laughing, had to fall on his knees, for his gravity could not take all the humiliation he dealt to Naru. Naru angrily made her way to her room. The sound of her slamming her door could be heard a mile away.
Kitsune at last came to, though she was still recovering from her hangover.
"OoooOOooohhh… how did I wind up here?" she said in a daze, "And what's… this stuff on me?"
Keitaro crossed his arms and shook his head. "Honestly, you are such a hopeless drunk Kitsune."
-0-0-
Keitaro opened the door and walked into Naru's room, much to Naru's annoyance (she was now wearing a lime shirt and new pair of jeans, in favour of her old soaked clothes).
"Who said you could come in?!" asked a very bitter Naru.
"But we always study together!" Keitaro whined.
"Hmph!" she huffed, closing her eyes, "Think I'll let you inside after the way you behaved? Get lost."
Keitaro hung his head low. "I'm sorry, I just… it's just for the past few days I've been really bored. I keep doing the same old household chores and it's becoming really dreary…"
"You soaked by best clothes plus you had me believe you murdered Kitsune!"
"I'm sorry, please forgive me."
Naru opened one eye to take a look at the pathetic manager. He did appear sincere in his apology.
Naru let out a forgiving sigh. "All right, fine, but no more funny business. Got that?"
"Okay!" Keitaro said, who then joined Naru for studying.
"Seriously, what on earth is wrong with him?" thought Naru, "He has never pulled a prank on me since… come to think of it, he has never pulled a prank on me! I know being a manager isn't exactly an easy job. Maybe all the pressure is finally getting to him. He does deserve a little time off now and then… but doing that to me was still wrong!"
They were ten minutes into their studying when…
"Hey Naru?" Keitaro asked.
"Hmm?" Naru replied, still focusing on her text book.
"…"
"…"
Naru stopped reading and turned to face Keitaro. "What? What is it?"
Keitaro said nothing. He was concentrating on his studying.
"Keitaro. What is it?" Naru asked again.
Again he said nothing.
Naru growled lowly and went back to studying. "Weirdo." she thought.
Five minutes later… and Keitaro started to whistle. He wasn't really exceptional at whistling. In fact, to put it more accurately, his whistling skill was below par.
Naru slowly clenched her right fist, resisting the urge to produce multiple veins from her forehead. "Can you stop whistling please?" she ordered.
Keitaro stopped whistling, and Naru thanked him, minus the appreciation shown from her voice. They retained their usual studying behaviour once again.
Five minutes later… and Keitaro started softly singing to himself.
"Doobee doo daa… debedadebadubo doobee doo daa…"
Naru tensed up but remained reading her text book.
Keitaro decided to turn the volume up a notch.
"Do. Do. Dobeee doooo… dada daaa dada daaa dabadee dabo dooo…"
Naru's breathing changed into an irregular pattern. Keitaro could have sworn he heard her nostrils flaring up. Keitaro decided to stop singing.
…
…
For the best part of nine seconds.
"DO! DO! DOOBEEEDOOOO! DADDADADADA!"
"OH WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!!?" roared Naru.
Keitaro reverted back to silence. He feared Naru would disembowel him if he dared another word.
They continued studying. Naru at this stage was a kettle filled to the brim with boiling hot water. If Keitaro so much as touched her, he was going to get burned.
Two o'clock…
"Wow, two o'clock already?" Keitaro said as he checked his watch, "I better fix up some lunch!"
"Whatever." Naru mumbled.
Keitaro got ready to leave Naru's room, when he added, "Um, can I make you anything? Sandwiches? A bento? Um… curry?"
Naru's pen was in fear of being crushed by inhuman strength. "I. Don't. Care." she uttered.
"Okay doke! Smell ya later!"
The door closed, and Naru's anger reached a staggering level.
"Urrrgh!! What the hell has gotten into him?! He's behaving like such a five year old! I swear! It's embarrassing being in the same room as him! Why is he like this? Why?! WHY?!? Wh…"
"Where's Liddo-kun?" she said all of a sudden.
Her heart skipped a beat. Liddo-kun, the bright yellow cat… bear… mouse… thing always sat snugly on Naru's top shelf, leaning to the left side of a few really old dusty books. Liddo-kun rarely ever moved from that spot. Now it was gone. Naru began to panic. Liddo-kun was her most treasured possession. In fact, Liddo-kun revolved around her life, and was even regarded more important than her four other favoured pastimes (studying, punching Keitaro, being with her friends and acting in denial).
Her panic stressed ten-fold. She ran to the living room, and then the kitchen. No luck.
"Hey Keitaro!" she called out, "Have you seen…"
Naru stopped talking. Where was Keitaro?
She heard something outside, though she couldn't pinpoint what the sound was. She opened the main door.
And froze.
Her jaw crashed to the ground.
Outside, Liddo-kun was on fire, and behind the once cute plushie stood Keitaro with hair overshadowing his eyes. In Keitaro's right hand was a box of matches.
An aura of gloom filled Keitaro as he spoke in a ghostly voice. "Naru… I know you've been having an affair with Liddo-kun behind my back. What's wrong Naru? Is my love for you not enough? Well… let me tell you this… nobody cheats with me and lives. Not even the doll…"
Now, if Naru was in a normal state of mind (a very rare occurrence) then she would have realised that Keitaro, somewhat indirectly, confessed his love for her. However, that thought was violently pushed away, thanks to her favourite yellow doll being burned to death.
"L…L… L-L-LIDDO-KUN!!!" she screamed. Her world was tumbling before her very eyes.
Naru dashed over to the doll and plunged it into the hot springs. A loud sizzling sound was heard and trails of smoke escaped from the dowsed fire. When the burning threat was no more, she looked at Liddo-kun. The doll's head and upper body was completely black.
She shook Liddo-kun left and right. Her eyes were filled with pure horror.
Liddo-kun remained staring at Naru, like some weak, pathetic animal.
And then…
…Liddo-kun's head fell off.
The deceased yellow doll was now released from Naru's hold.
Naru lifted her head to meet Keitaro. Keitaro reverted from 'concealed eyes' mode, which then swiftly changed to 'frightened shitless' mode.
Naru made a twisted, dry smile and said, "Hey Keitaro, come here."
Keitaro backed away. "Ah… n…no thanks."
"Keitaro… come… here…"
Keitaro gulped. He had unlocked the worse possible Naru anger known to mankind. Her smile was absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, the most dangerous and scariest thing in the entire universe.
Keitaro ran for dear life, his arms flaying around as though he had no conscious control of them. He could feel the devil's breath burning against his neck. Naru was millimetres away from tearing the manager into bite sized pieces.
As he ran, Keitaro tripped and tumbled through the main steps descending from Hinata-Sou. After many yelps of pain, he finally hit the bottom in a crumpled heap… but it was amazing how quickly one's bones could knit after being chased by a demoness smothered in hellfire.
Keitaro dashed through the local areas of the city, pushing any person that dared get in his way. Naru closely followed Keitaro's path, and was ploughing through anything that got in her way. Keitaro tried to confuse Naru by madly running into a traffic filled road. Many cars nearly crashed into him, but Keitaro somehow managed to pass through to the other side, unscathed and with all body parts intact.
Keitaro stopped and turned around. Naru was at the opposite end, watching him, eyes wanting to destroy his soul.
"Let's see her get through that…" Keitaro thought.
Naru screamed bloodlust and charged into the road. Cars stopped, but the driver of a megaton lorry couldn't hit the brakes in time.
Naru's head turned to face the lorry. She tightened the grip with her right fist.
The city people gasped as they witnessed a most incredible and frightening experience. Naru mega punched the lorry so hard that the overweight vehicle flew miles into the sky, like it were a tennis ball being launched out of a cannon.
Keitaro's pants began to smell like a lavatory.
The chase continued, and they found themselves running into a quiet park. Keitaro thought he could outwit Naru by climbing up a large tree and hiding amongst the leaves. Unfortunately, Naru just spotted his dangling feet, trying to desperately ascend to the top.
With humongous strength, Naru grabbed the tree with both hands and pulled all of its roots out of the ground. Keitaro could not take it any longer. He held onto the branch for as long as humanly possible, but Naru relentlessly shook the tree left and right. He then found his grip being violently torn away. He fell and landed on the back of his head.
A monstrous shadow loomed over him. A shadow so monstrous, that its presence froze Keitaro to the bone. Only Keitaro's head adjusted to see a venomous Naru tower before him.
Naru cracked her knuckles and looked down at Keitaro with a toothy, hellish grin.
"Any last words?" she asked hauntingly.
"Uuuuhhh…" Keitaro scratched his head as he tried to think of an answer.
Naru decided to give him ten seconds of his time before ending his useless existence.
Keitaro reached out with his hand… and squeezed her right breast.
"Naru… I really, really want to see you naked." he answered.
Her left eye twitched.
Make that two seconds.
…
…
…
-0-0-
Much time has passed by. Motoko, Shinobu and Kaolla have returned home. Joined with Kitsune and Naru, the five girls tucked into their dinner.
"I hope Senpai gets back soon…" said Shinobu, noticing the ever darkening sky. She felt guilty for eating without Keitaro.
"Say Naru, you two didn't get into a fight again, did you?" asked Kitsune. Drunk as she was back then, Kitsune must have remained asleep long enough not to hear Liddo-kun being set on fire.
"I wonder." Naru said as she ate a slice of chicken. Her eerie calmness made everyone feel very uncomfortable.
Motoko dapped her lips with a napkin as she clarified a conclusion. "Do not worry yourself Shinobu-chan. I'm sure Urashima will arrive soon."
Naru picked up a cup of orange juice and slowly sipped its contents.
"I wonder." she said again.
Once again they felt uncomfortable. It must have been some fight, they all thought.
…
…
…
-0-0-
The sky was pitch black.
To survive this long was regarded a miracle, given he had been buried headfirst into the garden park. Only his ankles and feet were left unburied, trying to pathetically wiggle out of an impossible predicament. His voice was muffled from the underground.
"Um… Naru? I'm sorry. I've learned my lesson, okay? Naru? Naaaarrruuu?"
He sighed, knowing she had left him ages ago.
Keitaro learned a very important lesson that day. That lesson was; don't touch Liddo-kun… and if you do… never feed him lit matches.