Hello everyone!

I'm glad you found your way here, I hope you like your stay. This work is a pet project of mine and I've been carrying the idea around for a very long time now. Which means there's a lot for you to look forward to; also that this means a lot to me. Now I don't want to spoil anything, but I can definitely say that it's gonna be interesting and there will be quite some plot twists.

I will add characters as the stoy progresses.

Have fun reading!

Heaven was something to get used to.

And you had to.

There was hardly another way once you were dead, and Frau still wasn't completely over it. It had been several weeks since he'd been dead (… or months, or something like that, he had lost track of time at a certain point), and Gido kept telling him to be patient and relax.

Wherever the man was taking that from.

Frau still remembered Gido having quite a temper whilst alive. Maybe by now it had settled, Frau mused. He had come to despise that word, as Gido was definitely overusing it.

A smirk curled up at the corners of his mouth as he rolled over and fell flat onto his stomach. A soft groan stifled by the mattress escaped his lips. Cold. – Cold sheets. This was not how it was supposed to be. It was outrageous. Kicking at the sheets, Frau struggled to pull them over his head. He would never get used to this place and he would certainly never leave his bed again, whether Gido was in it or not. That was that.

Something softly tugged at the sheet. Frau didn't move, didn't breathe a sound.

Someone tugged at the sheet, harder this time, and Frau dug both his hands deeper into the sheet as Gido gave it one last, heavy tug. He managed to uncover what was a pair of shoulders and two arms that were desperately trying to keep him from pulling the sheet completely away.

"I thought this was supposed to be heaven," Frau groaned, face buried in the mattress. He thought about the last time he had done that and a small shiver ran down his spine. That had been a far more enjoyable activity. Frau raised his head, just enough so he could glance over his shoulder, before dropping it onto his bed again. His hands searched for a pillow.

"Well, you haven't left this place for almost a week now. Get up, I fear you might have forgotten how to walk." There was an unmistakable hint of sarcasm and theatrical drama in his voice. As he found it amusing, Frau smiled into his pillow and rolled over to face the man behind him.

There he was. Not a day older than he remembered. Yet, by now the term old man was certainly justified. Given that he was... what? Nearly forty, fifty, all years combined? Something like that. Frau didn't realise he was smirking. Eyes grazing over the tall, lean figure leaning on his bedpost. – And he wouldn't go anywhere. Frau smiled at that thought.

In some way no time at all had passed since their lives had parted. Yet too much time had passed and there was a hollow ache in his chest reminding him of that. And of Teito.

To his own demise, Gido had proven to be a distraction he could hardly resist. In a way it was selfish. Frau tried not to think about that too much though. He exhaled a deep breath as he ran a hand over his face – tired. He was tired. Tired from lying around and doing nothing. Although nothing sometimes brought pleasant company.

Still.

He didn't want to get out of bed. The mere thought suddenly seemed too ridiculous to even think about. With a quiet groan he sunk back into bed and pulled the sheet over his head. Gido said something and tried to pull it away again, but the sound of his words was muffled by the rustle of the sheet and his own breathing. He closed his eyes, but Gido was merciless and managed to drag him out from under the sheet. Frau growled, clawing at the sheets.

Yet he found enough mercy in his bones to spit out some words, as he wriggled from Gido's grip. "You know, the average human needs two hours of sleep to make up for each one lost, don't you? And you do know how little sleep I got while I was, well –", a sigh escaped his lips. He had managed to sit up and was rubbing the last of sleep from his eyes. "Just double the end sum and you might get close to what I need to barely function ever again."

"And whose fault is that?" the other raised a brow. "You picked your profession..."

Smart-ass. Frau glowered.

There were other reasons too for his lack of sleep, but those he didn't mind. Frau trailed a hand over the bite marks on his neck and down to his shoulder as he walked over to his closet, picking a plain black shirt and plain black pants to dress in. There was no use in arguing and he was too tired for it anyway.

He wondered why Gido had come to him. He could feel the man's eyes on his body as he dressed. "Are you going to talk to me, or am I left to guess?" A pause. "Again?" There was a hint of actual accusation, along with the playfulness of his voice. "Alright," Frau muttered to himself, and he walked over to lean close to the other man on the bedpost. "What do I owe the pleasure of your company?" Frau asked, trailing a hand down the fur of the man's coat, a couple fingers grazing over his warm skin.

Warm. He was warm and solid – huggable. And he wanted to do that very much. Just hold on tight and not let go for several years. The thought of doing so was greatly comforting. Instead he leaned in close, wrapping his arms delicately around Gido's neck as he brushed their noses and lips together. "Come tell me," he cooed.

When Gido tried to kiss him, Frau pressed their foreheads together to push him away, giving him a soft head bump instead. "I said tell me, not kiss me," he sighed. Still, a flicker of amusement rushed over his face. Gido seemed to enjoy his company, since it was more than often him who sought it out. It made Frau wonder if he was trying to make up for time lost. Did Gido feel obligated to look after him? The thoughts made Frau a little uneasy, and he quickly dismissed them.

"We're going on watch duty."

The words made Frau swallow slowly. It felt like a punch; something hard, unsettling, rested in his gut. His eyes skimmed Gido's face, looking for a sign... any sign. Whatever it was that he needed to see right now. "I..." The lake. He didn't... He took a deep breath, trying to focus his thoughts. He would see Teito again. After what? Months, and he–

The lump forming in his throat felt big and heavy, impossible to swallow. A small surge of guilt rose up. What the hell had he been thinking... It was almost ridiculous how much he had wanted to forget and how willing he had been to accept any given distraction. A small sound ripped from his throat as he took a shallow breath.

Carefully Frau looked up, noting that Gido was awaiting a response, but also that he was carding his fingers through his hair and by God, that was– It was too much, yet at the same time it was all he wanted. Still, Frau didn't allow himself to lean into the touch, instead slowly folding his arms as he swallowed again. He tried not to turn his head away.

He wasn't okay. The very thought of getting to see Teito still made him choke on sorrow.

Gido had taken him to visit the lake another couple times since their reunion. The man probably would have brought Frau more often if he hadn't been as affected as he always was. And as much as he tried to suck it up – he couldn't. Not yet, he always thought, but was just as sure that he wouldn't be ten years from now either. "I want to go..." he admitted quietly. Even though the voice in his head screamed NO.

And because he said it he knew it was true. It would hurt. A lot, but he wanted to. And he had to.

"Are you–?" Frau's gaze shot up in a glare and silenced Gido immediately.

It was the way Gido's hand threaded through his hair. Casually. Comforting. As if no time had passed since then. It only made the lump in his throat grow. "I... need to..." he insisted. But the utter amount of understanding in Gido's look just made him want to throw punches badly. Yet he only clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. "Do we go now?" Carefully Frau eyed him. He wanted to get it over with and done.

Gido nodded and Frau swallowed hard. "You snored your waiting time away, anyway," Gido answered him softly and messed up his hair. It was so familiar.

There was a hint of annoyance in Frau's sigh. "I get it. I sleep too much," he scowled at Gido. "But it's not like there is much to do here either way."

At this Gido laughed quietly. "You're right. Except lots of people wanting to get to know you better. I'm sure you'll figure out how to pass the time along the way." He grabbed Frau's hand and tugged him out of his room. "C'mon. Time to feel the sun again."

Idiot.

Frau didn't object though, and he quickly followed, but he retrieved his hand from Gido's grasp and tucked both into the pockets of his pants. His eyes and feet were following a pair of legs wrapped in dark fabric as they walked past the yard, along the isle which went round the yard, and in between pillars as broad rays of sunlight lit the roofed hallway.

He didn't have the guts to look up and around. Which made him feel stupid enough, but being reminded of Teito had opened a drain and deprived him of the will and energy to interact with the other Ghosts. Talking to them was strange enough anyway. Most of them seemed to have either witnessed his life or had been filled in on it by Gido, which always left him in the unpleasant position of having to realise how little he actually knew about the rest of them. Not that it had ever mattered.

But it mattered now.

With a sigh of relief Frau noticed the big gates closing behind them with a thud. At the same time he realised why staying indoors had been such a good idea. This place was fucked up, and it took him only one glance to be reminded of that.

By now he had tuned out the various bird calls around him unconsciously, even though it seemed like a happy reminder of the fact that there was nobody except Gido and him around right now. He dared to look up. Well...they weren't quite alone after all. It was the two of them and a gazillion strays.

Fucking great.

"How long do we have to do this?" he asked, while he trudged along next to Gido.

"Eight hours. There are three shifts each day."

"Jeez. You guys really got nothing else to do?" Frau gaped at him in disbelief. Gido only smiled, in a way that could even be viewed as apologetic.

"Usually we're not as meticulous when it comes to keeping watch, but lately events have been heating up."

Suspicion welled up in Frau, as a very unpleasant thought came to his mind. Gido couldn't mean that. He couldn't be implying... "Fuck, are you serious? With all he's done?" The lump in his throat was returning, just like the ache in his heart. Alas, Gido didn't need to answer this one for him to realise that probably fucking everyone was considering the possibility. "And why the hell did you not tell me?", he burst out, gritting his teeth in anger.

"Look, we're not even sure–"

"But what if do you really think I– " He swallowed. Frau clenched his fists, trying to keep the shaking at bay. It just wasn't fair. "I'm gonna bloody kill that bastard for all he's done." Even thinking of it, thinking that Ayanami might– "For fuck's sake, I thought this is supposed to be heaven." Feeling left alone to drown in his own pain, Frau waited for the hand on his head, for a kindly spoken word, but none of it came. Instead Gido was alarmingly quiet. And when he finally spoke it wasn't calming at all.

His voice was surprisingly bitter. "Not your personal. There is no such luxury."

If he hadn't been so caught up with his own lament of pain and frustration he might have wondered where it had come from. Despite everything, Gido had always seemed... awfully chipper to him. The kind that made you want to punch something at some point. Bitter didn't sound much like him. Or at least what Frau knew of him.

But what did he know anyway. Frau rarely thought about it, but when it came down to it he barely knew anything at all about Gido. His name, his age, his occupation before he had died. Eden had been his home. He had been a Ghost and seemed to know every god damn existing language. – That was about it.

It was an awfully frustrating realisation.

Something in the back of his head urged him to say sorry, but he didn't. It made little sense to him anyway. There was nothing he had to apologise for, for getting furious over the idea of having to share heaven in any kind of way with Ayanami. But had not meant to yell at Gido. So instead he slowly closed the gap between them, bumping into Gido's shoulder in a slightly rough but friendly manner. This time the hand came and caressed his head and Frau slowed his steps for a while to enjoy the touch. "Better?" Gido asked.

"Somewhat," Frau replied and ducked away from his touch. After all he was not some kind of child anymore. "What do we do with the information we gathered?"

"We've got something similar to the Cuvere, only that we are the only who can access it. It serves a similar purpose though, as we try to gather the most important information of history. Our history mainly."

Frau nodded and trotted along, soon realising the lake wasn't much further. He didn't know how he could tell that the lake was close, so he shoved it aside and labelled it as instinct. There was hardly any way you could tell where you were from your surroundings, as it was all gardens, gardens, gardens and more bloody gardens. Yet, he was right.

It was Gido, he noticed after a while. Every time they reached the outskirts of the lake something seemed to change. It was hard to explain since he actually did very little about his posture or expression. But Frau could swear he would be able to grab a fist full of tension filling the air.

A while back he had noticed a few kors and... other things, and frankly Frau was sure he didn't want to know what they were.

While Gido did not seem to be bothered any more than necessary with either, Frau eyed them warily from afar as they approached the lake. He noticed none of them were particularly close. He couldn't even make out the end of the lake, which made him ultimately wonder how fucking big this place was. It was almost stunning. "What do we do?", Frau asked. His eyes fixed to the ground, he found a small stone and sent it flying roughly with a kick, and when he looked up he saw it being swallowed by the water.

"Sit and watch and... frankly, just don't do anything." Gido shrugged.

Frau had been slowing his pace, prolonging the last few steps and he gulped as he stared at the blank surface of the lake.

Teito...

The thought came in the blink of an eye, the word heavy with pain and oh God, he still missed him. A numbing wave of pain swept through him, swept him from his feet, and he found himself sitting on the ground in warm grass. The pain tore at the wound which had been closing slowly, but steadily, in the past few months.

It shouldn't be so easy to summon a picture of the ones you loved, Frau thought. However, he was glad for it. Seeing Teito, seeing that he got better – slowly, steadily; it was soothing his own wounds.

As he watched, Teito seemed to being going over a strategy with Hakuren and Ouka. Someone mentioned Miroku's name and it made him wonder what the three of them were up to. Then he remembered Gido's words and something heavy settled in his gut. So they really were planning on overthrowing Ayanami.

"Idiots," Frau heard himself choke and bit his lip. His own voice sounded alien to his ears.

He felt Gido's hand in his hair and was glad for it. Frau found that he was having trouble focusing on his surroundings, especially when there was Teito practically right in front of him. The boy was trying to smile and obviously the light inside of him was getting the better of him. "Told you," Frau muttered and closed his eyes for a moment, the voices still going on about the plans they were making. It was bloody fantastic and Frau hoped with all his might that Teito knew it. That he wasn't fighting it like he would so often...

Because he deserved it.

With time passing, it didn't become easier, but Frau found that it became bearable. Still, he found himself turning away and closing his eyes after a while. The image disappeared and the voices where cut off. Frau sighed with relief.

Much better. Less agonising.

For a while there was nothing but silence. The everlasting bird songs were still there, of course, but all-in-all it was blissful silence. Frau let himself sink into the grass, enjoying the soft breeze. His head fell to the side, his eyes watching Gido. The smell of dirt and grass filled his nose, calming him. It was familiar enough. Something not as weird as everything else up here in heaven. Though he probably wouldn't have been surprised to find out the grass smelled of cotton candy. Thankfully though, it didn't.

It was the soft and happy voice of a young woman which brought his attention back to the lake, after what felt like an eternity of lying in the soft grass. She was talking to Castor and Lab – he could tell by their voices, even before he saw them. Curiously he eyed her. She had long, curled black hair, and pretty, attentive blue eyes. She was clad in a well fitting flight suit and boots, goggles hanging from her neck and a pair of gloves stuffed into the pockets of her jacket, which must have been at least two sizes too big. It was worn, visibly older than the rest of her clothing. It had an awfully familiar touch. Frau squinted, it had been made for someone bigger and taller to wear... like...

He looked at Gido, realising he had seen the jacket indeed before. "What's the girl doing with your flight jacket?" he questioned.

"Her keepsake," Gido muttered. His voice cracked, yet a smile washed over his lips as he spoke. His lips drew a pale, thin line as he pressed them together.

"Why..."

"She's..." Frau watched him swallow and then take a deep breath, pausing before starting again. "She's my daughter."

"What?!" The word slipped from his lips without his consent. Various other things were burning on his tongue, but he could not manage to voice any of them. Daughter. Daughter. Gido had... a daughter? When the fuck had that happened. "You... had... a family?" It was less a question, more a realisation. Because yes, now that he thought about it, it screamed blatancy.

It was a stupid, childish thought not to believe Gido didn't have a life. Frau just hadn't really thought about it, as all he had done was try to numb the pain his own had left behind. Frau cursed under his breath and inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly. Again he watched the girl.

He could see the resemblance. The curls were definitely the same– though Gido tried to hide his by cutting his hair and applying gel, but bed hair was rarely so forgiving and Frau had had a great deal of chances to see his hair tousled and askew in the past few months. The colour – both had plain black hair. The eye colour of some sort, but hers were of a darker shade, while Gido's were of an icy blue. Hers were more like his own, Frau noticed. She also had the same pale freckles, although far less in number, scattered across her face. Gido had enough for two on his face alone. "What's her name?" Frau asked, wanting to distract himself from the unpleasant thoughts circling his head.

"Maya."

"Your decision?"

"I got a vote..." The words came out in a broken chuckle.

Frau smiled, joined in for a second and shook his head. "How old is she?"

"Seventeen."

A year older than Teito. Just a bloody year. And here he had been thinking asking questions would distract him. But now the lump in his throat was returning once again, making it hard to swallow. This had been a bad idea. Absent minded he ran a hand through his hair. "Seventeen..." he muttered and cursed under his breath. He was about to ask something else, something related to her mother, when it hit him. "And she's..." There was only one explanation for why she was talking to Castor and Lab. "Fuck. She's the new Zehel?"

Gido's mouth tightened. A hand fisting into the soft grass, ripping it with ease. "Yes," the word sounded calmer than it should to Frau.

"You were talking about her when you said you'd be damned to know who's next."

Gido smirked unhappy. "Perceptive as always," he mumbled. "Yeah, I was thinking of her and hoping it wouldn't be her, but of course they always go for the youngest. Both of us are proof of that." His eyes went up to meet Frau's and for a moment Frau wondered how old exactly Gido had been when he was given the position of Zehel. He himself had been fourteen the year he had been turned.

He didn't dare to ask.

"Then why didn't you say?" There was a distinct tone of accusation in his voice. Gido had always been an expert at keeping him an arms length of information behind. He always left clues, but he also always left Frau to uncover the whole picture himself.

"You had other things to worry about that day," Gido said. The look in his eyes was painfully forgiving, but it made Frau want to yell in further accusation. How incredulously stubborn this man could be. "I was going to tell you in time, I just hoped... the circumstances would be different. You didn't remember her – I didn't want to make this more complicated than it already is."

"Remember her?" Frau echoed. The words previously burning on his tongue forgotten. The question had vanished.

"You know her mother."

"Her mother?" What the hell was he talking about? Gido nudged him to look at the surface again and Frau did, because frankly there was little else to do. Otherwise he would have just stared at the man until it dawned on him or until Gido gave up and told him.

Alright. He wanted him to look... but at what? So he watched, waiting for a sign, and found it when the girl put her arms akimbo and frowned upon the two men talking to her. She didn't exactly spit back fury, or fire as some would expect from her mother, but there was serious concern in her eyes.

It was in her posture. Something that reminded him evidently of Magdalen. Frau shook his head, ran a hand through his hair. No, he was probably wrong. "You don't mean to tell me...what I think you mean to tell me is..."

Gido merely shrugged and smiled that awfully chipper smile he sometimes wanted to tear of his face, and Frau realised how much he'd missed it.

"Seriously?" Frau took a deep breath. Gido nodded. Great.

In all fairness he did have a vague memory of Mag having a daughter, only that his association had never sprung to Gido when it came to the father. Said man had been somewhat inexistent. His foster mother had made him watch over her daughter at times, that much he remembered. Yet Maya's face had almost completely vanished from his memory, along with her voice. Frau barely remembered small hands tugging at his clothes and small feet, tumbling behind as she followed his step.

Gut heavy with invisible rocks, Frau felt like he was collapsing into himself. Shoulders sinking, hands losing their grip.

This was hardly better than seeing Teito.

All he wanted to do was disappear to somewhere else, and he knew he could, but he also didn't want to leave Gido alone. Not with this. And so he stayed, quietly watching the surface of the lake. Sometimes when he couldn't bear it anymore he got up and took a walk, then returned only to find Gido frozen on his spot, watching with stoic calm. And it made Frau wonder if that was what ten years in heaven did to you. Sometimes he watched him, watched Gido, wondered what he was thinking, but it was hard to tell.

After a while he put his head on Gido's shoulder and kept watching. It was all he could do anyway.

Time had been ticking by slowly while they had watched Teito, his former friends, Maya, and even Ayanami. Frau had blurted out the question how in heaven and on earth he could summon that so easily to the surface. But of course Gido had an answer for that too. It was almost infuriating.

Technically it was possible to summon any person to the surface of the lake, as long as you had a face to think of. More important than that although was the emotional connection. The deeper your emotional connection to the person at hand, whether it be a good or a bad one, the easier the image was to summon.

It had taken a split-second for Gido to make Ayanami's face appear on the surface. Frau could only wonder how much hate you needed to have seething through your veins to make it that easy, and realised he didn't want to know.

By the time they returned to the church he felt emotionally drained. So when he was back in his room, his remaining energy didn't take him much further than to his bed. Frau buried his face in the sheet, awkwardly noticing that he seemed to do that a lot lately for various reasons.