FINALLY IT IS DONE!

Many thanks to my beta and all of your patience. The ending of this one was a real hassle, thankfully now I've finished it. I hope you enjoy it!

On an extra note: Devaki is the name I gave the scythe!

Each of the families had bastards, some more some less. Presumably Zehel's family ranked first, or among the first, when it came to those. At least the fact that neither him or Gido were affiliated with their House of God suggested it. Tamika belonged to this category as well. During their conversation he had found out that she had grown up as half-sister to the queen, and mother of Teito's father and uncle. And Ayanami, but Frau tried really hard not to think of that.

Although a bastard, her father had taken her in, as he had thought she would prove a good friend to his daughter. The two girls had been almost inseparable and when Tamika spoke of her sister there was fondness in her voice. Apparently she hadn't died until she had been an adult. But though that was all Frau got out of her regarding that subject, he didn't mind. Nobody ever liked talking about their own death.

"You know... and please don't get me wrong, but I'm glad you're here."

Frau only raised a brow and dug his heel into the soft grass. They were sitting on the edge of the great fountain, the water a soft rush behind them. And no mermaid. Maybe it was better this way, Razette had never liked him anyway. "How do you... mean...?" The words rolled slowly, almost cautious of his tongue.

Tamika sighed, and as Frau glanced at her he watched her groping for words. "Don't tell him," she finally said. "He won't like it that I talked about it," her warm smile tilted slightly. "But I haven't seen Gido this happy in a long time. He's always been more earnest than it's been good for him. Even when he was a child."

Well, that was interesting. Frau turned his head and frowned slightly. "I thought that's what ten years in heaven do to you..." he mentioned carefully. "I don't... remember him like that," Frau rubbed a hand over his arm where the scythe once had been. "He used to tease me and was always busy, but... he..."

"Always had a smile for you," Tamika nodded, then smiled and added, "that's what we do for the children we care for. That's what we do for family. We don't let them worry."

Frau frowned upon that and crossed his arms.

"You wouldn't let Tiashe fret about you, would you?" she reminded him and at that Frau understood. He closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. It wasn't really like that, was it? He asked himself, rubbing his forehead.

A moment long he wanted to ask why Gido would want to hide anything from him, but as his hands sunk down he knew. The same reasons why he had kept things from Teito. It would be all the same no matter what he was hiding. "But I'm not a child anymore." It was meant to be a complaint but it turned out to be more of an realisation, because when he could get Gido to realise that all the way, maybe he would talk to him then. He turned to Tamika, "thanks."

Tamika blinked, but soon understood and smiled. "Good luck," she said.

Frau disappeared.

There were only so many places Gido could be and most of his favourites featured the attributes of high and open spaces. Preferably the latter, as Frau had noted that he seemed to favour the great outdoors.

Frau found him bathing in the warm waters of one of the weird springs at the cross. (The location literally had the outlines of the same thing tattooed on his back. There even was a reception desk and tons of flasks and bottles and jars and towels. Frankly this place lacked none of the essentials and more.) Gido's head was cushioned by his arms from the hard, but surely warm rocks beneath. His breath slow and even as he dozed in the warm sunlight.

Any other time Frau would have shoved him into the spring, but now he merely took off his boots and rolled up his trousers, then sat down at his side, legs dangling in the warm water. It was all to rare to find Gido sound asleep, Frau had learned that lesson a long time ago, so he certainly wouldn't disturb him now.

He had always been a night owl, hardly sleeping at night, always at daytime. If at all, and that was the worrisome point here. Gido seemed to run on as little sleep as possible and there seemed to be nothing one could do about it. And while there was no need to sleep, it had an obvious effect on your mood and patience.

A sigh escaped Frau's lips and he smiled. Idiot, he thought and wanted to run a hand through his hair, but quickly reconsidered. That would only wake Gido. That man's sleep was ridiculously light. Frau pouted at that thought, because somehow he really would have liked to do that now. Ruffle his hair and run a hand over his neck and shoulder. Still, he didn't.

He noticed how the freckles had begun to darken under the warmth of the sun and steaming water. That was also a rare sight. Everywhere on his face and shoulders and arms small brown-reddish spots lit up, like candles on a Christmas tree.

Frau couldn't remember for how long he had sat there in the end, watching him, watching the freckles appear. Lost in thought he almost didn't notice when Gido woke up. Only when said one stretched and rolled over onto his lap. It was then when Frau finally allowed himself to run a hand through his dark, curled hair and he smiled. "Finished your beauty sleep?" he teased

A drowsy smirk crept up the corners of Gido's mouth, as he made himself comfortable. "You tell me..." he mumbled. "Am I pretty enough or do I need to sleep more?" Sighed Gido, stretching his tired muscles with moving as little as possible.

"Pretty enough," Frau replied with a chuckle and placed a kiss on his nose. To which Gido answered with a content sound and closed his eyes.

Gido obviously enjoyed the attention, as Frau kept threading his fingers through his hair and drawing lines over his face. For a moment it even seemed like he would fall back into sleep, but then he opened his eyes, staring at nothing in particular it seemed and Frau couldn't help but to smile at this.

The great, fearsome, short tempered pirate everyone was so afraid was no more than a big cuddle bug. As reputation ruining as it was though, Frau found it highly adorable. "There's something I wanted to ask," Frau said after a while when he was sure Gido was awake enough. The only reply he got though, was a small, deep sound in his throat, stating his attention. "About Ayanami," Frau kept carding his fingers through Gido's hair, noting how the head moved to look at him. Only that his own view was locked onto the weird dragon-fountain-thing. "I need to know what will happen when he dies. When Verloren dies. Someone will have to fill the void, but– " A ton of questions weighed his tongue down, but Frau didn't know where to start. So he decided to wait for Gido's answer.

Frau had thought a great deal about this and he was sure now. Ayanami would die. If Teito planned on overthrowing him there would be a fight. There was no way Ayanami would give up his status that easily. And if not him, then Verloren would probably fight with fangs and claws to retain his comfortable position as chief of staff. Either way they would end up having a unique opportunity to execute Verloren; the empire would only need to know that matters had been dealt with.

When Frau dropped his gaze, he found Gido's stare on himself. The gears in the man's head obviously turning, invisible hands groping for thoughts and ideas. The look in Gido's eyes was awfully familiar and suddenly Frau knew what he was wondering. "No, I'm settled enough. We can talk about this now," he reassured him as best as he could

Gido said nothing, but the look on his face was obvious enough. Frau screwed up his face. "Mood killer. Big time."

"I didn't do anything," Gido complained, mouth slightly twisting into a pout. He was propped up on his arms, so Frau had him on eye level.

"You got that mother-knows-best-look," Frau explained, raising his brows. Slowly backing away; just out of reach. "And you better get rid of that, if you wanna get laid at all."

"Wha- I don't have- now you're just being ridiculous."

"Trust me," Frau smirked upon the outburst of obvious outrage. It was amusing to watch him sulk over a small thing like this. But then there was a notable change in the look which lingered on him. The glint darkened in a way that could only be described with – fuck. Slowly Frau swallowed. "I'm okay," he insisted. "I don't need to be settled." Now it was his turn to pout. As nice as it was that Gido wanted to make sure that he was okay, there was no need to become overly cautious.

"Understood," Gido said, but he didn't move or change the subject.

Or did Gido need an excuse to sleep with him that bad? Frau dared to doubt it and made a note to ask about that at some point.

Raising a brow in question Frau leaned in again, he was far from against what Gido suggested. But Frau also had enough of Gido feeling the need to mentally prepare him for everything, stabilising him like this. He had spend the last months doing nothing else, trying to grow accustomed to everything and everyone, becoming emotionally settled. So by now he could definitely say he had enough. "Great," Frau crossed his legs. "Then why aren't we talking?" he asked, a playful smile on his lips, pulling away when Gido tried to kiss him.

He gave a peck to his cheek, softly gnawing at the skin. Frau leaned his head against Gido's, closing his eyes; a catlike attempt to snuggle, because there was little reason to push him away after all. "You should get out of the water," Frau muttered.

"I want to fuck you."

Well, that was not the answer called for. A jolt of heat raced through him, made Frau open his eyes and stay perfectly still for a few moments.

"I want to see your pretty face all flushed and your body writhing in pleasure." The words came out in a growl, followed by teeth nipping at his throat.

Up until now what they had had been mostly a quiet understanding with little words. Neither had ever needed to voice their need or want. Outright admitting what both knew they needed had seemed pretty senseless.

So, now hearing it of course had its desired effect. Frau could tell it was desired by the dark glimmer in Gido's eyes. For another moment he closed his eyes, and when he opened them again he caught Gido's stare. There was no doubt, just eager desire. The silent promise of stopping the hollow ache still gnawing at his chest after all these years. Plus the gaping hole Teito had left behind.

Sometimes Frau wondered when it would stop; would it ever stop?

There would be a momentary stop, if he let Gido have his way. He could wrap himself up in the warmth of the moment and the bliss of having every thought ripped from his mind. And with that he accepted his kiss, indulging in it. His motives selfish as ever. Anyhow Gido never made resisting easy. He always seemed to know how to win Frau over. His tricks easy and simple, but effective nonetheless.

Soon enough the smirk Frau had plastered to his lips vanished in a moan and there was little else to focus on than those lips and hands driving him crazy.

And teeth. Gido seemed to have a thing for that, Frau mused with a little smirk by the time he was nicely curled up in the others arms and his breath restored. With his eyes closed one might have thought he was dozing, but Frau was far from tired. Not enough to sleep anyway.

Talking about Ayanami now seemed a bit out of context when Gido was drawing lines and little circles on his back. Then if not now, they would have to talk later about this. Somehow this made him wonder if it had been Gido's plan all along. Frau still remembered how easily Gido had brought Ayanami's face to the surface. Yet he didn't dare to ask for the cause.

With a sudden sigh he rolled onto his back when he stretched himself, groaning quietly. "This was entirely unnecessary, but there's nothing else to object. – Tell me what you know," Frau demanded. There was no way Gido would be getting his way so easily.

There was a moment of silence where Frau tried to make out shapes in what he supposed were clouds, then Gido just cleared his throat. "Try and be more specific..."

Frau managed to heave himself up, rubbing a sore spot on his shoulder. He felt a pleasant ache singing through him, as he tried to gather his thoughts. "What will become of him? They're going to execute Verloren, right? So what of his host?"

"I don't know... If there is any part human left of him I would say that one joins us in heaven."

"Well maybe there isn't. Maybe all there ever was, is Verloren," Frau said and wished it to be true. Because then there would be no way for Ayanami to appear up here.

"But if there is..." Gido reminded him. Eyes distant. "You're going to have to live with him up here somehow... I highly doubt Ayanami can go back just like that. As for the church, it depends. It's hidden beneath a cloaking spell, which is why none of the strays approach it. Lifting the spell is fairly easy though, you simply have to be invited by someone. An easy thing for us Ghost's as we all more or less know each other. But Ayanami would need not only someone who knows him, more importantly someone willing to let him in."

A heavy sigh left Frau's lips. There was a near zero chance that anybody would invite Ayanami into their home. That much was obvious, he thought and pulled his legs up to wrap his arms around them. "But then he's still out here." What a dire punishment to spend half of eternity in solitude, Frau thought, hugging his legs. He glanced at Gido.

Not long ago he had reprimanded Teito for still wanting revenge and now he found himself perfectly fine with bestowing his worst nightmare upon his enemy. It shouldn't be so easy, Frau thought to himself, feeling a chill run down his spine. Sometimes it surprised him how easily cruelty came. Yet he also thought that Ayanami deserved this. For killing his brothers and Teito's family, stripping the boy of the life he deserved.

Damn. He couldn't stand this man.

Frau noticed he had been grinding his teeth from the uprising pain in his jaws and quickly unclenched them. Adjusted their position to a more comfortable one. "Then he's just one in a million strays. I could live with that..."

"Some of the others might disagree," Gido remarked quietly. His eyes met Frau's, who looked at him in disbelief and question. The smile which Gido gave him only told of how he had expected yelling at this point. And it did make Frau actually want to yell. It was far from fair how easily Gido could see him through. "The eldest seem to have developed a rather unbiased opinion on things. And while we all understand why you'd rather have him roasting in hell and trust me, you're not the only one, you also have to consider that he deserves the same chance as us."

A tsk escaped Frau's lips. "Same chance my ass! You're right. He can rot in these freakin' gardens for all I care. Better don't dare getting in my sight again. Not after all he's done!"

Ayanami was responsible for his situation after all. Situation, that meaning his death and all. Frau never spoke of it. He suspected that Gido knew either way, with the lake and all... But it was not only his death, it was... Teito loosing his family, him losing Teito, losing Gido... All of it. Ending up in this place reminded him of so many wounds he had tried to forget and Ayanami seemed to be the root of half of them. Verloren to the other half. In a way at least, since some where connected to Zehel, but without Verloren those would have never risen in the first place.

It had been awfully quiet for a while, but Frau barely noticed. Only when Gido spoke again, he realised that there wasn't even a proper bird song surrounding them. Almost disappointing.

"What... What do you plan to do if he does end up here?" The question seemed awfully hesitant. Almost cautious, and Frau wondered why.

"I..." Frau trailed off, realising he wasn't sure about the details of that part. "I'm gonna hurt him." That much was clear for him, although even that felt off. "I don't know..." And with that he dropped back onto the soft grass. "I just don't want him up here. He's done so much damage, he killed so many, killed even..." Frau's voice broke off. "Just to think of him getting anywhere close to... this... it... it irks me. Just to think he will be near me and... you and... everyone! I just can't have that. I can't– I'm–" Scared. He thought, but didn't say. Frau had rolled over to his side, head propped up on an elbow.

Loss had lined his life, had decided which paths he would tread. And having Ayanami with them would mean risking even more hurt and that was just not going to happen.

What frightened him when he looked at Gido that there was nothing but understanding. He knew. There was no need for detailed explanation, and somehow it let him shiver just slightly. It raised the question of how Gido had come to know this fear, but somehow Frau was sure he didn't exactly want that answer. Yet he felt the small urge to ask rise.

With a heavy sigh Frau managed to sit up again. "This is depressing..." he muttered, mouth twisting.

Absent minded he brushed the petals off. It was still annoying, but he was getting used to it. Which made ignoring them a whole lot easier. But right now they were sticking to his skin and Frau felt great need for a bath to scrub them off. Just like his thoughts about Ayanami. "I need a bath," he grumbled, voicing his need aloud and somehow managed to get to his feet. Slowly Frau staggered towards the hot spring.

Ever since he had become Zehel Frau had grown naturally fond of baths, and warm water in general. Whether awake or asleep Frau could spend hours, soaking in the warmth till even his bones were drenched to dripping. It had never filled the void in his heart, but just like now as he eased himself neck-deep into the water, it was as relaxing for his mind as for his body. Or soul in this case.

For a while Frau simply enjoyed the warmth soaking him through before he picked up a sponge to clean himself. Lost in thought Frau didn't even notice how Gido came to join him. Instinct made him clutch the sponge as he ran it over the shoulder, but Gido only smirked and made no attempt of taking it from him. Still Frau eyed him full of suspicion.

Way too often Gido decided that getting clean was a task for two. Not that was essentially a bad thing, just that it meant that there was little getting clean involved, because way often Gido found way more enjoyable activities for his hands.

It seemed a miracle he was keeping his hands to himself this time. With a sigh Frau ducked under water, the wet warmth enveloping him. If only it had not freaked out every single person ever witnessing it he would have stayed under water for hours; he liked how it felt. The pressure weighing him down, and no sound just a gush of water now and then. The light fractured above his head. – Deciding to stay for another few minutes Frau closed his eyes and leaned back against the stony wall of the pond.

The time spend seemed way too short when he emerged.

A muffled sound of surprise ripped from his throat as Gido leaned in to steal a kiss, but Frau was too surprised and it was over too soon to respond.

"I'll get your back," Gido offered with a smile as he broke the kiss.

For a moment Frau eyed him wearily, but then he merely wrapped his arms around him in a hug. His eyes fell shut as the sponge ran over his back.

It was moments like these when it became as strange as nice to be nearly as tall as Gido. Frau was just not used to getting to lay his head onto someone's shoulder. Especially not Gido's; it had been so long.

A wet hand came up to ruffle Frau's hair. Said one gave a content sound and smiled as Gido chuckled. "Sometimes it's a shame you're not portable anymore."

"No thanks, I'm glad I'm not as short as that damn brat," Frau snorted. Lips pursed into a smile.

"Well... I miss it. Sometimes," Gido admitted softly. One hand he kept running through Frau's hair. "And don't get me wrong. It's good the way it is, and I wouldn't trade that for anything." Frau felt a surge of heat rush to his face at those words and he was glad he could bury it in Gido's shoulder. "But I miss my little boy..." The sigh which followed sounded a tad bit too mournful, but Frau got no time to think about that because Gido lifted him up.

Laughter burst from his lips as he felt the others arms wrapped tightly around him. "Let me down!", he complained half-heartedly as he was carried towards wherever Gido intended to bring him. Most likely out of the water. Frau could feel him stagger every couple steps. "This is ridiculous!" Frau didn't know whether to whine or giggle as he tried to wriggle from his Gido's grasp.

Instead of succeeding he slipped, which caused them to fall over and Frau pulling Gido down in the process. The warm water swallowed them with ease as they crashed into it. Everything went by so fast, Frau barely noticed anything till they were up on their feet again and coughing up water. Gido was laughing in between coughs and grinned.

"What the hell were you thinking! I'm not eight anymore, you can't do that!"

"Watch me", Gido grinned, voice hoarse from coughing. He brushed the bangs out of his face and reached out to grab Frau once more.

This time he backed away. And although he was trying to be mad the disappointed look on Gido's face made him smile a little. "You can't turn back time and make me a little boy again, whenever you like..." He reminded him, crossing his arms.

"I know... "

Both paused and Frau wasn't sure what to say. Sometimes, randomly these topics emerged and everything became twice a weird. Often Frau felt like retreating in those moments. He wanted to distance himself and just not get involved for a while. Till it was over and everything back to normal, only that it never worked because now this was normal.

Their shared past was something not easily ignored, and Frau figured they had to deal with it sooner or later. He cleared his throat, a hand rubbing across his neck. Stopping momentary when he noticed the imprints of teeth on his skin, it made him feel mildly uncomfortable. He was not a boy anymore and this... this just... Every once in a while, like now, it actually felt weird. Not entirely wrong, but a fair share of awkward. Thinking about his previous relationship with Gido it was a fair share. A small voice in his head often told him he was supposed to feel more weird than he actually did. Yet it was easy to dismiss it in the face of kisses stealing his breath like few before.

"You know... I certainly didn't imagine this when I wished you back into my life."

Now, that was not entirely true. Frau had to admit that much to himself, but he was five times too embarrassed about it to say it out loud. All he could hope for was that Gido was as oblivious about this as he hoped he was. Or granted him enough courtesy not to mention it.

Gido smirked, which Frau thought to be a good sign. "Me neither," his answer came with a careless shrug. And Gido came up to rest a hand on the curve of Frau's neck, rubbing a thumb over it.

Did he always have to touch him? Frau wondered, grasping Gido's hand. A small smile on his lips. Gido certainly always had his hands on him. Even if it was only to caress his head or lay it on his shoulder.

"But I can't change the past." It was an ugly realisation and slowly Frau nodded, lowering his glance. Neither of them could and maybe that was for the better. "And maybe I do feel a little obligated to make up for that," Gido admitted and Frau watched his expression. Gido seemed slightly amused by his own thoughts, or maybe Frau's reaction. That he couldn't tell. But it was nice when he smiled and ruffled his hair.

"Do you? I'm not a child anymore?" Frau reminded him, as he folded his arms. Slightly he tilted his head, eyes piercing, yet his voice held a friendly tone. There was even a smile on his lips. "You don't have to treat me like one. You don't have to protect from everything anymore. And I won't ask of you to make up for your decision. I... I would have done the same," Frau quietly admitted. His nod was slow but confidant. "Hell, I did the same!" It had only actually dawned on him them as those words blurted from his mouth.

Of course he had. It was obvious. Dying like that... dying to... Their reasons were so similar. One of reality's cruel jests, Frau thought, lips pressed together to a thin white line. "I don't mind different," he said, voice still bitter from his thoughts before. "You're right. It's good the way it is. And it has been good the way it was... and you don't– " Gido opened his mouth, but Frau cut him off before he could do anything. "No you really don't know how much I wanted it back. How much I would have needed that. But I can deal with that now. I understand now."

"Frau..." Gido's hand ran down his cheek. There was a silent plea in his eyes, asking – what? Patience or forgiveness?

It was only then that Frau noticed how the bitterness still clawed at his expression.

"You can wish it back all you want, but it's not gonna happen. You don't get that. No matter how you need it. – It's just not possible. – Just like I didn't get you back when I would have needed you. Life isn't that generous and neither is Death." Frau's stare hardened when his eyes froze on Gido's. "I'm not a child anymore. I'm not. And you know that as good as I do. You already know you don't get it back and it's fine that you miss, because... I do too. I just don't know what you think you need to protect me from, because you don't. Don't protect me, involve me. Let me in." Frau paused his words, swallowing slowly. "Please..." his eyes closed for a moment.

To his surprise Gido smiled when he opened them. It was so terribly forgiving and understand Frau just wanted to... He took a deep breath, clenching his fists, trying calm himself and trying not to punch Gido. Though the latter was really hard.

"Got it," Gido said at last, giving some small relief to the tension welling up inside of Frau. "But do you ever consider that what you ask of me is not easy? I always had to look after you and suddenly I don't. Give me some time at last. It would feel wrong not to do that."

That was a compelling argument.

As much as Frau wanted to yell at him that it was easy after all, he couldn't. It was enough to think of Teito and how hard it had been not to be worried. Never mind the countless times he had told himself how ridiculous it was. Frau bit his lip, chewing on its corner. Why did Gido always have to have an answer for everything?

Frau had a feeling they would never actually solve this, when he sunk back into the water, leaning against one of the stony walls of the spring. His eyes fixed on nothing in particular, but Gido was still in his view. "This is different than before," he stated more calm than he felt. "So make it different. It's weird when you treat me so similar to before."

"I will try to do better," Gido pressed a kiss to his head and smiled. When he sat down next to Frau, said one laid his head onto his shoulder. Almost immediately Gido's hand came up to scratch his head, making Frau close his eyes for a while and give a content sound.

"Would you be okay with Ayanami up here?", Frau asked, but Gido did not answer. So after a while he decided to change the subject, as Gido did not seem to want to give him answer to that. It did make Frau wonder about the reason. "I told you, you don't have to protect me," he pouted.

"It's... not that..." Gido finally said and patted Frau's head, Frau noticed a small smile playing around his lips when he looked up. "Let's not dwell on that, okay?"

Okay it was not, but Frau did not object either, only wondering why Gido seemed so obviously uneasy with this topic.

Frau shifted his position, raising his head to look at Gido and scrutinise him for a long moment. "So how long do you think it will take till you can get back down? Your reason to die was–"

Gido cut him off before he could finish his sentence, "I was already on the verge of death at that point, I don't think it did me any good."

He didn't know what to say to that.

With a sigh, Frau ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes momentarily and shaking his head, though he didn't know about what. The realisation came slowly and when it did it took him a while before he could voice it. "Guess that gives us a few decades, huh?" A smile crept upon his lips when Gido nodded and Frau gave a content hum. For the first time in forever he felt excited, genuinely excited about something, because after all he might just get what he had wanted all along. His heart was thumping notably heavy in his chest when he pressed a kiss to Gido's lip. "That's all I ever asked for..." he muttered against his lips. With a sigh he noticed Gido's smile when he returned the kiss.

His answer was nothing more than a breath on Frau's lips. "Aye, brat." And Frau laughed into his mouth.

"You really got to learn to quit that someday..." he grinned, escaping his lips and nuzzling into his cheek. "Maybe I should teach you not to," Frau murmured with a cheeky grin. His intention written in plain sight across his face, obvious in his voice as well.

"Good luck trying," Gido chuckled. He seemed amused and delighted about Frau's offer.