Chapter Four: Of Stores and Stars
The smell of leather and aftershave was the first thing I noticed when I came to the next morning. I knew something was out of place but the comforting warmth I felt beneath the covers kept me in a sleepy haze. A soft sigh escaped my lips as I snuggled further into the heat source at my side and was enveloped into the comforting heat. An arm wrapped around me and I smiled as I felt soft breath on my head.
I can't remember the last time I was in bed with a man.
My eyes shot open then. I tensed as I tried to recall where I was and soon remembered how I had stayed with Steve after his nightmare. I relaxed slightly but not completely. But waking him up was inevitable with how we were wrapped up in the covers.
"Steve," I whispered and poked his ribs gently. He stirred slightly but did not awake. "Steve… Steve, wake up." The man in question shifted and pulled me completely on top him. I blushed slightly but quickly got over it and decided to be a little cheeky. I squirmed in his arms and put my lips close his ear. "Steve," I breathed and felt him tense and shift. "Steve, wake up." Before I could even pull away, he startled awake and attempted to disentangle us and somehow ended up hitting his head on the head board. Fighting to hold back my laughter I spoke again, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah; sorry for making you stay with me," he muttered as his ears turned red with the blush I knew he was suppressing. "We should get out of bed…"
I nodded and we both tried to untangle ourselves but only ended up more knotted then when we started. Steve jerked his legs that were tangled in mine and we both fell gracelessly to the floor in a mass of limbs. My head hit the ground with a thud as the blankets came down with us. I let out a groan as the weight above me eased up slightly. Opening my eyes I found myself staring into the cobalt ones of Steve Rogers. His face was mere inches from mine, so close I could feel his breath on my face and see the faint almost invisible freckles that littered his cheeks and nose. I had never noticed them before. His full lips were parted slightly as his eyes scanned my face, his pupils dilating and shrinking as he tried to focus through the slight daze of sleep that still held him. His muscled arms were on both sides of my head with his elbows and forearms flat on the ground. I knew that his shirt had ridden up because mine had as well and I could feel the smooth skin of his stomach against mine and a bit of the small trail of hair that trailed from his naval to beneath his pants. His lower torso was flush against mine with one of his legs between mine.
After a few seconds, Steve blinked and realized the compromising position we were in and made a quick job if getting to his feet. I laid there a moment as I took in how red his face had become then took the hand that Steve had offered me and got to my feet. One look at his flushed face and I busted out in barks of undignified laughter. Reigning myself in I gathered the blankets off the floor Steve spoke.
"I'm so–" I cut him off still giggling.
"No more 'I'm sorry', Steve. The day has only just begun. Surely you do not intend on using up your apologies before noon, do you?" I turned back to him with a smile. His broad shoulders physically relaxed at my words as he gave a small smile of his own. Tossing the bundle of blankets at him I continued, "Now get dressed. You and I are going out today. We will get breakfast outside. You've been here for about two weeks already. You need more clothes. And it is no bother to me so just don't."
I shut the door behind me and made my way to my room. I took a quick shower and washed my hair and noted that the dye was beginning to fade and that my roots were showing in some spots. I dried my hair and dressed quickly and after some inner debate, I slipped into a pair of dark wash jeans, a short sleeve purple V-neck and matching purple sneakers. Over the years I had made an effort to become fashionable. Entering the living room I saw that Steve was bent over tying his shoelaces. Feeling cheeky once again, I rolled up a discarded newspaper and whacked his behind with it. His head shot up as he turned redder than the stripes on his shield.
"Get a move on soldier!" I laughed. He blushed harder as I tied my hair into a high ponytail.
"You're more audacious than I remember," he commented as his blush faded.
"I am far less brazen than the general female population; consider it part of your assimilation," I replied. Reaching into the coat closet I grabbed an old, worn, brown leather jacket that was easily too big for me. Once Steve rose back to his full height of 6'2" I held the jacket out to him. "When they emptied out your locker this was in it. I kept it these past years… but it is technically yours, sorry if it smells a bit feminine."
He took it from me and looked at the barely there scuff marks, evidence that I had worn it frequently. Other than that it was practically in mint condition. He smiled at it with a look of nostalgia before handing it back to me. I furrowed my brows in confusion but took it.
"Keep it. You always wore it back during the war. I'll get another one." He smiled and I assumed he realized how attached I was to the old thing. He opened and held the door for me and locked up. With that, we left and ventured into the city.
"So our first plan of action is to have breakfast," I said as I shrugged on the oversized jacket. "Are you in the mood for anything in particular, Mr. Rogers?" I skipped ahead of him, excited to show him around like he did with me in the 40s.
He smiled at my enthusiasm. "Not really, ma'am. Whatever you want is fine." I gave him a playful glare.
"Oh come on! At least make it a challenge for me. Take charge! Be a man, be obnoxious, be demanding!" Steve laughed then, doubling over once we hit the pavement. I stopped walking and tried to withhold my smile, placing my hands on my hips in mock offense. "You find something funny, Mr. Rogers? Do I amuse you?" One look at my wide eyes and exaggerated eyebrows sent him into another bout of laughter. Upon seeing him wipe tears from his eyes my own grin revealed itself. "But on the serious side… we've eaten in since you got back. Whatever you want." Steve crossed his arms in thought as he came up with an order.
"Alright, no fast food for breakfast –a diner or something –with a short to no waiting time." I raised an eyebrow at him in challenge to which he rolled his eyes. "How about some place small –quaint."
I smiled. "As you wish." Steve offered me his arm and I lead him to our first destination.
I hailed down a cab and we rode that to a little –by Manhattan standards –diner but was still in Brooklyn. It was a small family-owned diner on Clinton Avenue. It wasn't exactly a glamorous place but it was tidy, quaint and had this homely air about it. I attributed this to the friendly Jewish family that ran the establishment that was complete with a deli. It was welcoming. The whole restaurant was covered in deep maroon wallpaper that was fading form age. The once gold colored furnishings and accents had long since faded to a rusty brown but didn't look dirty by any means. The green, which was the final swatch to the color scheme, was the only color that still held its original vitality. The emerald was the minority color as it was only on the back wall which separated the dining room from the kitchen. I smiled as Steve took in his surroundings with interest. The small place was not busy so there was not wait and upon Steve's request we sat at a table, not a booth.
We approached the table and Steve pulled the chair out for me, his old-fashioned manners shining through.
"Men don't do that anymore –pull out the chairs for women," I said sadly.
"They don't? I'll make note of that then…" I could see he was disheartened.
"No. It's not common than men do that but it is in no way looked down upon. If anything, women will swoon over it. Unfortunately, men have lost their touch in some cases," I assured him. He didn't respond but I could see in the way he straightened his back that he was pleased.
After placing our orders, we resumed conversation "So what exactly are we doing today?" He folded his hands on the table in a business-like manner.
I mimicked his movements in a mock way. It was a relief to be so free with Steve. It had been a while since I had found a friend I could be so honestly me with. I only had two companions that I revealed myself to but not as much as I had with Steve.
"Well, Mr. Rogers, I had planned to go to either Macy's or JCPenny's to expand your wardrobe. You are to pick out the clothes and I will pay. The only thing I am adamant about is that we get you two suits. I believe you mother said that every decent man should have two suits."
"I don't believe that I need two suits," Steve protested.
"I don't believe you an indecent man," I shot back. He half-smiled at my stubbornness.
"I still don't want you to pay for me." I sighed as I hoped he would not register that part.
"Technically, it is not my money. You are under observation of SHIELD so they are funding your maintenance." He frowned so I continued, "Clothing is considered maintenance. It's not my money so orders are orders." His face lightened a bit as he nodded but I could see he was still bothered. Brushing that off, I spoke again. "If we have time after we retrieve some clothes for you, there are some things I want to show you."
He nodded quickly and that was when our food came.
After the hearty breakfast (which consisted of us consuming two large omelets each) we got in a cab and headed for Manhattan. I made the cab driver let us off in the middle of Manhattan and we walked through the island city. I figured that was the best way to help Steve get reacquainted with the city. We found our way to Macy's and I had to cover my mouth from giggling at how Steve stared in awe at the large department store; however, I couldn't hold back my chuckles when I saw how Steve's face reddened and how his eyebrows rose when shameless women winked at him. Once in the men's section I told him he could wander on his own if he wished and he did. I looked around on my own as well in hopes of finding a leather jacket to replace the one I was currently wearing. As I was picking one up my phone rang.
"Hello?" I answered without having checked the caller ID.
"Hello, angel. Miss me?" The voice of Clint Barton glided through the phone's small speaker.
"Oh, yes. I can barely survive without you," I chuckled. "It has been a while, how are you?"
"I'm good but I'd be better if I had my sparring buddy back. SHIELD doesn't make agents like they used to. Look, I know you like to keep yourself busy with non-SHIELD stuff but not even a text? What new secret you got now?" Rolling my eyes I scoffed.
"I haven't any secrets, thank you very much. And if you must know, Fury assigned me the mission of monitoring the Captain." I picked up two similar jackets and analyzed them. "Who makes better leather jackets? Wilson's or Calvin Klein?"
"What makes you think I know?"
"Well, leather is practically all you clothe yourself in."
He paused, "I own jeans." I chuckled at his helpless response.
"Agent Barton, you are utterly useless. What do I keep you around for as it surely is not your intellect."
"It must be my devilish good looks." I could practically hear him smirking. I was just about to respond when I heard a voice behind me.
"Excuse me, Andy?" I turned and met Steve, his left arm holding a few t-shirts and jeans. "I found some stuff."
"Hey, I have to go. I shall see you soon," I said quickly into the phone.
"Bye, angel."
I hung up and turned all my attention to Steve. "Let us find a fitting room."
We quickly found a fitting room and I waited outside. Most of the clothes looked good on him so I coaxed him into getting everything except the trending skinny jeans. He didn't like them and quite frankly neither did I. After purchasing the garments we ventured to a boutique down the street that I knew had nice suits.
"I still don't think I need two suits."
I rolled my eyes at the soldier. "And I still do not think you to be an indecent man. You of all people should know that I am too stubborn to yield so easily." I said we walked into the shop. A moment after walking in we were approached by a slim, raven haired man in what I assumed was rather expensive clothes given the designer label.
"Hello, my name is Matthew, may I help you with anything?" he asked. His New York accent laced into his every word. He looked at us expectantly.
"Actually yes, he needs two suits," I answered. The man began leading us further into the store.
"Anything in particular?"
"Not really, just something that looks nice, I suppose." Steve shrugged.
"I don't think there's much that wouldn't look good on you," Matthew said quietly. Most people wouldn't have heard the comment but the captain and I were not most people. Matthew put Steve to stand on a runway of sorts and called over a tall woman –whom he called Janice –to help him measure Steve. They both scurried off to pick up items of clothing so Steve joined me on the couch that sat before the runway. After a pause Steve spoke.
"Is he?"
"Yep."
"Hm," Steve rung his hands out and nodded. Silence befell us again and I turned to him.
"Are you alright? You seem... off." I stared hard at the man to my left and searched his face for any hints as to what was on his mind. I knew something had him off kilter but I was unsure of what it was. Before he could respond the two clerks returned and handed him a pile of suits that they thought would suit him, no pun intended. Once he was behind the closed door of a dressing room Matthew and Janice turned to me.
"So what's the deal with you and Mr. Muscles?" Matthew prompted.
I furrowed my brows. "Pardon?" Janice rolled her heavily lined eyes.
"Where did you find him and where can I get one? I saw him hold the door for you and he was holding your bags. Cute with manners, that's hard to come by."
"How long have you two been together? Are you guys married?"
"Actually –" I began.
"Neither of them have rings, though," Janice cut in.
"We aren't together!" I half yelled. They stopped talking and shared a look. "We are just friends." I said at a normal volume.
"I'm sorry, honey. I know how harsh the friendzone can be." I opened my mouth to speak again but a male voice sounded instead.
"How do I look?" We looked up and saw Steve standing above us in a nicely tailored black suit complete with patented leather shoes. The slim fitting trousers made him look even taller than he was and led up to a nicely fitted jacket with a split panel back. His large hands fastened the matte black buttons and hid away a simple navy blue tie and crisp white dress shirt that was neatly tucked. In the suit he reminded me of how he looked when he wore his formal captain uniform in the 40s. Walking towards him I answered.
"You look fantastic except for one thing," I took the blue tie in my hands and redid it.
He grumbled. "One of these days I will get it right." Once done I smiled at the full image before me. "Do I look spiffy now?" I rolled my eyes and groaned at his word choice.
"Oh God, please never use the word 'spiffy' again." I turned to the clerks that had been whispering to each other. "Is there a gray version of this?" They nodded. "We shall take that and this one." Without another word, they went to fetch the gray suit and I bid Steve to go and change.
Soon we were done there we headed back to the apartment as I had no desire to tormenting Steve with the task of carrying the bags for the rest of the day.
"We still have the rest of the afternoon; do you have anything else planned?" Steve asked once he deposited the bags in his room.
"Actually, I do. I wanted to show you something. You don't have to change or anything, it's nothing fancy. Come on, I'm taking the car and I would prefer decent parking."
"When did you learn to drive?" Steve asked incredulously.
"I've had 70 years to learn," I winked. We entered the parking garage across the street and I guided the soldier to a sleek black Chevy.
"What kind of car is this? It seems kind of…" he paused searching for the right word.
"Old-fashioned?" I offered and he nodded. "It's a 1967 Chevrolet Impala. I don't know much about cars but I love this one. Now get in." He hoped in and buckled up and I tore out of the garage. The whole ride he pestered me about where we were headed and I refused to tell him. Eventually he gave up and stared out the window silently as I drove into a neighborhood unfamiliar to him but very familiar to me. The stereotypical busy New York streets digressed into a more run down area which then dissolved into a long empty street with small shed-houses that stuck out of the forestry every now and then. Finally after a while of travelling down the desolate street we came to a large older building. I liked to imagine that it housed a family of high nobility when it was in its prime but now it was just a little more than a shadow of what it used to be. The tall iron gates were rusted and squeaky but still stood strong. The walls were discolored as the paint peeled but the tall windows still held their majesty. The place was generally broken down but there was still life in it.
"What is this place?" Steve wondered aloud.
"This is St. Cecilia's Home for Lost Children. It's an orphanage," I answered sullenly. I had a soft spot for children. I parked the car and exited quietly. Not long after, the old mahogany double doors opened revealing an elderly woman in a nun's habit. Her face was stern but there was patience hidden in the fine wrinkles that creased her face. She walked towards us leisurely, her posture strict and straight.
"I was wondering if you'd show up today, Andy. You haven't been here the past couple weeks; the children were disappointed," the words were languid but punctuated as they fell from her smiling lips.
"I know; I have been very busy, though."
"I can see that," The nun inclined her head toward Steve. "And who is this young man?"
Steve held his hand out to the woman and spoke. "My name is Steve Rogers, ma'am. Nice to meet you." She placed her smaller hand in his and gave it a firm shake.
"I am Sister Jude. Nice, firm handshake and manners. It is certainly nice to meet you, Mr. Rogers." She gave and easy smile and turned back to me. "They are cleaning right now but you are welcome to join them." She walked away swiftly and we followed behind at a much slower pace.
"She seems…nice. But I still don't understand why we're here –and whose 'they?'" Steve whispered to me.
"The children."
I led him inside into the foyer. From the foyer one could go in four directions: forward through another set of doors, left down a long hall, right down another long hall, or up by the dark wooden spiral staircase. Walking forward, I led him through the set of windowed double doors. The doors opened into a large room lit by the late afternoon light that streamed in through the tall thick-glassed windows. The sound of young voices reverberated off the walls as the permeating smell of rubbing alcohol and other antiseptics filled our nostrils. The biting creak of the door hinges caused a silence to befall the room as the children lifted their heads. All at once, I found myself being swarmed.
"Andy!" they all exclaimed. The younger children swarmed at my legs attempting to find a part of me to embrace while the older children hung back. "Where've you been," and "we missed you," tumbled out of their small mouths several times as I crouched to hug them all. After subjecting myself to their embraces I rose and they scurried back to let the older children through. Some hung back and nodded while others hugged me. One of the older boys, a dirty blonde by the name of Benedict spoke then.
"So who's the guy?" Attention turned to Steve then and I saw him stand a little taller at being addressed even if by a teen.
"This is an old friend of mine, Steve." Benedict hummed as the boys visually assessed him. After a while the boys nodded and went back to cleaning. Deciding to ignore the strange exchange, I looked around for one boy in particular.
"Alarik is in his room," Sister Jude said as she entered the room. The children busied themselves with cleaning once they noticed her presence and I nodded my thanks to her. Turning to Steve, I gave him a sad smile and spoke.
"There's someone I want you to meet," I said as I walked back into the foyer and up the stairs. The walk was silent aside from the quiet hello's I gave to the nuns we passed. Finally, we reached our destination and I stood outside the old wooden door, taking a deep breath. The metal door knob was cold in my hand as I turned it and switched on the low lights.
The walls of the medium-sized room were painted in a variety of colors. The wall to our left was alight with golds and blues as they stitched together a scene of a great golden palace on the horizon of a city on the edge of a waterfall with twin moons painted far off in the sky. The opposite was an array of dark greens, browns, oranges, and deep reds which came together to form a grand forest in autumn. The far wall that the bed was against was almost completely covered in medical equipment and the vague outline of a small form could be seen beneath the mass of covers. I avoided creaky boards with practiced steps and made my way to the bed. Motioning Steve over, I slowly sat on the bed. I gently pulled the covers back to reveal a small patchy buzzed-cut head buried in the pillows, a breathing tube laid discarded in a pale fist. A small smile came to my face as I spoke.
"This is Alarik Steven Haverly. He was left on the steps as an infant with no name or anything. He has a knack for astronomy and likes to draw, swim and climb trees but it has been a long time since he has done the last two. He was diagnosed with leukemia 3 years ago. He's 13 years old." I looked at Steve and saw a sad look come across his face. Then there was a soft groan that was followed by a yawn. Turning back to Alarik, I saw him slowly join the waking world. I smiled a little brighter and greeted him. "Hello, welcome to the world of the living."
"Andy!" The small boy beamed at me and sat up to hug me. His bony arms wrapped around my neck as I wrapped mine around his smaller frame. "I missed you," he whispered into my hair.
"I missed you, too. I have been really busy lately." I pulled away from him and noticed how his collarbones protruded against his pale skin. I held back a grimace.
"Where've you been?" the child asked, suspicion in his tone.
"An old friend of mine came to stay with me and we had a lot to catch up on. I brought him with me actually." I moved aside allowing Steve into the young boy's view. Steve smiled and held out his hand to the young boy which I smiled at.
"Hi, I'm Steve." Alarik shook his hand timidly but the unabashed curiosity could be seen in the child's brown eyes. "I like your room. The walls are beautiful."
Alarik broke into a wide smile. "Thank you! Andy and I did it." Steve shot me a surprised look.
I shrugged. "You are not the only one with artistic ability. I have been practicing."
"Either way, I'm impressed. You've got a pretty cool name, too. What is it? German?" Alarik smiled at the soldier's approval.
"Andy named me. She said it means star fruit or something," he frowned.
"Stardust," I corrected. "It means stardust."
"Okay but why? Why would you name anyone stardust? That's so boring –is that what I am? Colorful leftovers floating around? There is nothing interesting or noteworthy about stardust." I threw my head back and laughed at his distaste. I stood up and dimed the lights.
"You are too quick to pass judgment. Stardust is very 'interesting and noteworthy.' Think of a great red giant sun." I conjured a large red ball of light in my hands and smirked at Steve's shocked face and Alarik's excited smile. I released the ball and it drifted to the center of the room. "After millennia it shall die and explode in a supernova, scattering stardust." The miniature star collapsed in on itself then rapidly expanded in a cosmic explosion of various colors that rotated around the room slowly. Clouds of rainbow colors floated around us. "This is all stardust. Yes, it is the ashes of a star that once was but it is also the beginning of a new star, a new planet, a new life. From the dust come nebulae and suns and solar systems." The dust clouds swirls and turned and everything else fell away quickly giving the illusion that we were shooting through space with the dust as they formed famous nebulae such as the Medusa Cascade and the Pillars of Creation. The room came alive with the neon greens and bright blues and purples of the starlight. "Star dust is the end and the beginning. This is all stardust; everything around us is stardust. We are all stardust. You are stardust." I smiled as he beamed and reached tentative hands towards the universe I had conjured in the room. Looking at Steve I could see the same expression of child-like wonder as he took in the shrunken skies. After a few moments I noticed the smile fall from the child's lips as the twinkle dimmed in his brown eyes. Taking his face in my hands, I turned him to look at me. "What troubles you?"
He looked down. "I have chemo tomorrow… I'm gonna be sick again –sicker than I already am." I frowned and took his hand in mine, giving him a comforting squeeze. "Are you gonna come?" His big brown eyes were hopeful as they searched my face.
"I am sorry, Alarik. I cannot, I have work," a look of heartbreak passed over his face, "But I have an idea." Swiftly, I went through the dresser and found a small, rosary box, stars still swirling around the room. Plucking a star from the sky I created, I sat back on the bed and opened the small brown box. I placed the star in the box and closed it. The sky I created, vanished. "Whenever you feel scared, or alone and I'm not there, open this and remember that we are all bits of stardust floating though the heavens together." I opened the box and the nebulae and dust clouds and stars flew from it, filling the room with its majesty once more.
"I like the way you look at the world," Alarik yawned. I smiled and kissed his forehead.
"Go back to sleep. You have a long day tomorrow."
"Two steps ahead of you." He yawned again and curled up into the sheets and covered himself. "Bye Andy. Bye Steve." He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off. Gently, I put the breathing tube on him and turned on the oxygen.
"Come on, we are staying for dinner," I said walking past him, avoiding eye contact.
Downstairs, the children were washing up and showering in preparation for dinner as the nuns in the kitchen finished up the cooking. Steve and I helped set the tables as the children began trickling in. A prayer was said by Sister Jude and everyone began eating. The meal was simple –mashed potatoes, meatloaf, and other things that I didn't even bother with –but good. Steve took second helpings much to the amusement of Sister Jude. Jokes were tossed around the table as the children spoke eagerly trying to bring me up to date. Most of the kids took interest in Steve as he was new to them, trying to learn more about him. The dinner ended and Steve went with the older kids that went to help the younger ones get cleaned up while the nuns and I stayed behind to clean the tables and wash the dishes. The nuns around me chatted and laughed as they busied themselves around me.
The cleaning didn't take long and I soon found myself making my way back to Alarik's room. I found him curled in on himself, the rosary box opened, stars swirling around the room. His body shook softly as he shivered. I quietly turned the heater on in the room and sat beside him. He muttered and whimpered in his sleep, telltale signs of a nightmare. Placing a gentle hand on his head I began to hum softly then began to sing just as quietly. This was the only sure way to get Alarik's nightmares to cease.
"Hön'marën kena-uva kala
Indönya ullumeá
Nör'ande sëra mi lorien
îm'eri ratö naya
Larya nîn mëlissè
Le sinte îma sinomë
ána sama lemî oloorë
Le ar'uunèr ana kaurë
Uur'anor wannëa
Isilme va'arya
Telume siila tere
Na'are utumno wanya
Erüma, helkàda
Raanè ressè
Lörna à'kuilä
Vàrna mi'olör
Türma ei ràumo
Sinomë."
Translation:
"My heart shall see light
"My heart shall see light,
Our hearts shall be forever.
Go forth, rest in dreamland.
I'll soon be there.
Wait for me my love.
You know I'm here
To join you in dreams.
You have nothing to fear
Fiery sun, begone;
Moonlight, protect us,
Heaven's star, shine through,
Flame of hell, vanish
Lonely voice, cold and bare
Wandering alone,
Asleep, yet awake
Safe in dreams
Shelter from the storm
Here."
My voice faded out and I smiled when I saw that he was back to a peaceful sleep. I noticed then, that Steve had quietly entered the room when I sang to the small bedridden boy. Although his back was to us in the dark room I could see him tense as my voice ceased. Leaning down to Alarik's small head and kissed his forehead and adjusted his breathing tube before taking up the rosary box of stars.
"You'll be alright. Everyone who terrifies you is 70% water. And everything you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and you have cried yourself to sleep enough times that you are down to you last two percent, but nothing is infinite –not even loss. You are made of the sea and stars and one day you shall find yourself again." I whispered the words as I closed the rosary box and set it on the night stand.
Turning to once again face the soldier I saw that he was inspecting the pictures on the wall with the door. His back was still to Alarik and I, evidence that he had given us a private moment to which I was glad. Taking a deep breath, I spoke.
"Let's go home."
Author's Note:
I apologize fro taking so long to update. I have been quite busy which high school (senior year and all). The song is by Lulluby From A Distant Land by Forest Elves on youtube. It's very beautiful and I encourage you to listen to it. Anyway this chapter is actually over 5k words and 10 pages so I tried to make up for my absence!