~I do not own The Outsiders~

"And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same.
They don't know me,
'Cause I'm not here."

Days into school, Pony was at lunch sitting with some 'friends' at school when he happened to see someone he hasn't heard of in such a long time. That person walked in smoothly into the cafeteria with some of his own friends not caring if he got attention from the people inside looking at him warily. Curly wandered around until his eyes fell upon Pony. He gestured for him to come. Excusing himself, he walked to where Tim's young brother was. Knowing what kind of guy he grew up to be made Pony cautious not wanting to get into messes with him. Being in the reformatory lots of time did nothing good, only toughened him up. And not in a good way.

"Long time no see Curtis." He said slapping his back.

Pony cracked a smile, "Yeah, haven't seen you around school, where have you been?"

Curly scratched his cheek, "Not really into this school thing, I only come to see what's up with my fellows over here," he gave them a mischievous look, "there's more to life than just studying boring shit."

Sure, like jumping people and going to jail. What kind of crappy life is that? But he nodded faking agreement, "Sure."

One of the guys snickered nudging Curly pointing at a Soc that walked by them. Curly narrowed his eyes then puffed at him. Shaking his head, "Anyway, how's superman doing? Soda? Steve and um, Twobutt."

Pony chuckled, "You know, here and there. Doing fine I guess."

"Hey Curly!" Someone shouted from behind, it was a guy Pony recognized named Byron. This guy grinned giving him a high five, "So you coming tonight?"

"Hell I am, what time?"

"Starts at 10, you better be there."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

"Where are you going?" Pony asked.

"Some party at his place." Curly responded.

"Can I come?" Pony asked even though he remembered Darry's dictating words, Homework! School! Focus! Blah blah blah.

Shepherd laughed, "Yeah right, Baby Curtis going to a party with us. Now that's something to laugh about. No way Ponyboy, I don't want yer brothers, especially the big one, going after me. Oh hey, gotta leave. Nice seeing ya." He left with his friends snickering at Pony causing him to feel absolutely humiliated. He blamed his brothers for this, it was because of their over protectiveness that this kind of stuff happened. So he's been at parties, but only barely. Drag races? Not much. He was never alone, he had to be baby sat. The movies? Nope, not even that, he needed someone with him. Darry wasn't going to leave him by his lonesome after the horrible accident. At least until he went off to college, even so, Darry promised himself he'd keep a look out for his little brother.

This is just fucking dandy. Can't go out with my friend Ben now I can't even go to a party 'cause even Curly knows how I'm fucking treated like a little child! Ponyboy sucked up his emotions getting back to his table. Can this go any better? He thought sarcastically.

Twobit picked him up from school to drop him at home, I can't even walk home alone...gee. Getting inside, Ponyboy sprawled himself on the couch closing his eyes for just a second feeling tired. School has been more changeling than usual, I still got this. As long as I keep my grades straight As...I'm swell. Suddenly somebody shouted at him from the bathroom. That scared him enough to fall of the couch on to the floor, "Pony?"

"Aah God, don't do that Darry."

Darry helped him up from the floor, "Sorry, didn't mean to...Do that. By the way, you can't sleep yet. First eat up then do homework."

"Can't I ever catch a break? A nap won't hurt anybody..."

"No can do kiddo."

Ponyboy rolled his eyes sitting down, he felt the need to scream, yell, holler at his oldest brother to just lay off. That it wasn't a big deal to take a lousy nap before doing anything else. I'm tired! Darry saw his irritated expression giving him a glare from the kitchen, "Dang it Pone, don't you give me that look. You know the rules."

"How can I not? You keep biting me in the ass with the same things every day."

Darry gave him another glare, "Watch your trap Pony. I'm only doing it for your sake."

Pony snorted, "Mine or yours?"

"Jesus Chri-Can't you grow up already? Open your eyes Michael! You're almost 17 and heading off to college! Change, acting the way you are isn't going to get you nowhere."

Ponyboy winced when his second name was pronounced, only when mad did his friends or family say it. Annoyed by his words, he growled, "Look who's talking..."

Darrel spun around with anger flashing in his eyes, "I swear to God Pony-"

"Swear all you want! I don't care! I'm going to my room." His bedroom door slammed closed with his brother yelling after him. Pony leaning against the door slid down slowly sighing as he blocked every sound from his mind. Even the talking of Twobit, Steve and Soda who had just walked in the house at the unluckiest moment. (Hearing all the commotion) Soda began to ask what was going on. As Pony closed his eyes he wrapped his arms around his legs resting his head on his knees gritting his teeth trying to not cry from frustration. He wanted to know why Darry didn't open his eyes. Twobit was the same, even if he did graduate from high school he still was the same person that got drunk just for kicks, didn't care about getting a job, wise cracking guy. Steve, yeah he got promoted as a manger along with Soda, yeah he graduated from high school too yet he was the same jack ass towards Pony. Actually he even made it worse after their dispute. Soda...Soda after many years can't really get over Sandy. The fear of getting hurt still remains inside, that's why he hides behind his cheerfulness. His uncaring attitude.

How can Darry expect me to change one fucking bit when they're all still the same.

A picture of his parents caught his attention, it was placed on his desk next to his bed. His mother hugged by his father smiling happily at the camera, Soda had taken it. Ponyboy frowned sadly swallowing thickly, Would you be proud of me? Accept me? ... Why'd you have to go?...

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)