The Trial of the Lost

Summary:

Donatello has been missing for almost three years now and everything hasn't been the same. Under the attack of their archenemy, Splinter told them to run for their lives... Three brothers are left alone. In the vast city full of Shredder's evil eyes watching, Leonardo, Raphael and Michelangelo must grow stronger and lean on each other; they must trust their remaining brothers no matter how they doubt them... But without Donnie, mending something broken is more difficult than it used to be...

Based on the universe of the epic ep of 2003 TV series "Same as it never was".

Disclaimer: I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Chapter Two: Donatello

He's gone. My brother. No note, not one goodbye. Just one ordinary evening saying he's going out to search for useful items in a junkyard, and he was gone forever from our lives. And since then, everything had fallen apart. We lived in the same place, strolled down the same hallway everyday; our daily routine did not change, but everything hardly felt the same.

I did not cry. I had not shed a tear for my lost brother. I was kind of surprised myself that I had detected neither sorrow nor pain, only a hollow emptiness. The lack of his presence was sometimes unendurable, but unreal, too.

I didn't believe he's dead; for all we knew, he probably had accidentally stumbled upon a gateway to another dimension. So he's lost. And so were we.

We had tried to look for him. The mission went on for weeks, months, and finally, we just gave up searching for him.

We seldom mentioned his name at home. Everything became more silent and solid. I knew along with Donatello, an invincible chain had broken, leaving my other brothers and me drowning in the void that was so profound and unknown.

Sometimes I imagined he would just show up like nothing had happened, walking through the front door and smiling. However, my hopes did not last long. A part of me had gone with him, too. The optimistic part maybe, or the part that used to taste happiness in the air and dream and hope. Whatever.

"Raph?" Mikey's feeble voice called out from the darkness.

"Yeah." Answered Raphael. He now leaned against the cool wall, Michelangelo's head still rested on his lap. It was already dark outside (inside it was always dark, with the windows of the warehouse sealed), and Leo had been gone for supplies for half an hour now. Before hearing his name, Raph was half asleep. "What?"

"N…nothin'," Mikey said, "just want to…make sure you are still there."

"You are right beside me and you need ta make sure?" Raph snickered.

"You were so silent, dude." Mikey said in a worried tone.

"'Coz I'm asleep, Mike."

"Don't fall asleep okay?" Mikey said. "It's so dark and cold here."

"I'll try." Raph said drowsily, patting Mikey on his unwounded arm.

"When will Leo come back?"

"Dunno. Soon. Don't worry."

"What if they ambush him or something?"

"That guy's tough. Ya gotta believe in him."

"What about Master Splinter?"

Raph did not say anything for a moment.

"What happened after I was knocked down last night?" Mikey demanded. "Leo's not telling the truth, right?"

Raph sighed, did not want to answer or even think about it.

"Raph? I need to know…"

Raph hesitated, staring down the darkness, his eyes blinking—his left eye still hurt, reminding him more of the vivid scenes that was playing in his mind over and over again.

"…They were everywhere, Mikey." Finally he said, his voice low and despondent. "All of a sudden somethin' exploded. We tried ta escape. I carried you on my back…we ran for an exit, but those damned legions were just behind us. Then Master Splinter pushed me to the door and told us ta run, sayin' he'll deal with 'em. I said, how 'bout you Sensei? But Leo grabbed my arm and tried ta pull me through that door. I yelled at him, you couldn't leave Sensei there like that! They'd kill him! …There were so many of 'em… But goddammit Leo wouldn't listen. That bastard, sayin' it's our only chance. It's not our only chance. I tell ya it's fuckin' not. Man, …I can't believe, still can't believe we…" he looked away, staring into the darkness. "We just... abandoned him.

"…Right after we ran into the sewer tunnel there was another explosion, then another…the tunnel almost collapsed, the wall snapped and…" Raph paused to breath; he wanted to continue but felt the words had slipped away from his grasp.

"Raph…" Mikey was probably too stunned to say anything else. After a moment, he tried again, the sound of his voice almost a wheeze. "Do you think…he's…dead?"

"I don't want ta believe it."

"…Me neither. But you said…there were explosions…"

"Yeah." Raph said darkly. "I…don't know how he's gonna make it."

"This is…" Mikey took a few deep breaths and sank into silence.

Raphael found Mikey's hand and squeezed it lightly. "We should go back to the sewer and look for 'im. He's probably wounded."

"I think Shredder must have sent his men down there in case we might return." Mikey said.

"You're right." Raph sighed. "Don't think about it Mikey. Just rest okay? You need ta rest."

Mikey slightly nodded, and then closed his eyes, trying not to think about what happened last night. It was not hard; he was tired and weak. He held Raph's right hand as tight as he could, it felt warm, and he tried to concentrate on nothing but the warmth. It felt like something familiar from childhood, too.

Leonardo, disguised in a dirty raincoat and a hat with holes all over it found in a trashcan, was hiding in the shadows of an alley, observing closely the movement taken place across the street. A brown van originally parking beside the sidewalk was now starting down the road. He also noticed that there were Foot Ninjas around. One on the rooftop nearby, two in the next alley, and that black car looked suspicious, too. As the brown van making its way through the night, the Foot Ninjas also made their move.

Leo watched the scene cautiously. April and Casey were in the van.

"April?" He whispered to the Shellcell. "You are being followed."

"I know. They were everywhere."

"Try to get rid of the black car behind you. I'll take care of the rest of 'em."

"All right."

Although the van had already gone out of sight, Leo heard the sudden roar of its engine. He sneered, leaping from the darkness. Within a second, he was across the street, taking down the two Foot Ninjas from behind. The one on the rooftop saw him, springing down by his side. Not even using his katanas, he finished the man in silence.

After dragging the unconscious Foot Ninjas into the valley, Leonardo rested against the wall for a moment. Owning to the exhaustion of the previous fight, he felt light-headed. He had not used his weapons since yesterday, and he seriously doubted that he could lift two katanas right now.

"Leo?" April called from the phone. "I think we ditched them!"

"Good." Leo panted. "Head straight to Northhampton, okay?"

"Don't worry about us, Leo. How about you? You said Mikey's badly hurt and Splinter's missing?"

"We'll be fine." Leo lied. "Be careful, you and Casey."

"...We will, Leo. You take care, too."

Once making sure no more Foot was around, Leo pulled the front of his coat tight, lowered his hat, and then hurried down the street. A supermarket came into sight; he hastily went in.

He was not going to shop in the store; April had done all the shopping for him. All he needed was looking for the bags April had left behind. And there they were, in the corner hidden behind a cart right beside the door. Leo sighed in relief, picking up three bagful of supplies. Fortunately, nobody seemed to notice him. He quickly left the supermarket, embracing the shadow of the buildings—the only friend he got from now on.

It had been an hour since one of them last spoke, and Leo had not returned from his mission. Raph could feel Mikey starting to scuffle uneasily on his lap.

"What's the matter Mikey?"

But Mikey didn't answer; he just kept breathing hard and turning his head around. His forehead was hot and sweaty under Raph's palm.

"Calm down bro, what's goin' on?" Raph turned the flashlight on and saw Mikey's face twisted in pain.

"Donnie…" Mikey mumbled, half-raising an arm and struggling in his dream. The agony was half mental half physical. His left arm throbbed with severe pain, and his left side of body was burning as if it was boiling while his left side was as cold as ice.

I know it's unfair; maybe it's against your will, too. But why did you leave us like that?

…He saw Donatello was about to leave the room. "Where are you going, Donnie?" He asked. "I was going to pick up something that might be of service to the project I'm working on right now from that junkyard I found last week." Don replied, "Need anything?" "Well, ice-cream?" "I think it would have melted before I get home, Mikey." "Never mind." Sighed Michelangelo. "You have no creativity. I thought maybe you can figure out a way to prevent them from melting, on your way home." "Well, maybe you can figure it out yourself, Mikey! Gotta go." And then Donatello was gone forever…

…It was maybe a week later. He was sitting on Don's chair in the corner that served as his workshop. "What cha doin' there?" Raph snapped as he passed by. "I don't know." Replied Mikey blankly. "Thought I help organizing his stuff before he come back." "He's not comin' back." Raph said resolutely and coldly. "How do you know?" Mikey protested. And suddenly Raph just went off, "get the hell outta there Mikey!" Mikey was startled, quickly jumping out of the chair in dismay. And he hated Raph for it at once. That night he went to sleep in Donatello's empty room, no, he did not sleep, he just sat on Don's bed for a very long time, hating Raph for yelling at him and for some other reasons that was probably beyond his knowledge.

Their life was a mess after Donnie was gone. Not that they did not focus on their training, on the contrary, they were enthusiastic about it more than ever. It was just that they forgot how to speak and react to each other like in old days. Every word spoken out loud sounded strange and feeble. Mikey lost some interest in keeping track of the new issues of his favorite comic books. He felt that they were boring and shallow. Sometimes he teased Raph halfheartedly just to piss him off, and hated himself for it. It was not fun anymore, but it made time pass faster. And sometimes he just needed to watch Raph go berserk and enjoy being annoyed by the scene. And for Leo, Mikey ignored him for a while, not knowing why. But Leo was acting weird, too; he focused completely on training and spent a lot of time meditating, while Raph devoted himself to busting street gangs with Casey, and was constantly away from home. When alone in the lair, Mikey would turn the TV on loud, just so their home wouldn't be so listless and quiet.

"Michelangelo, I need to speak with you." Master Splinter said one day. Mikey was lying on the sofa then, watching a movie absentmindedly. "About what, Sensei?" He said without looking up, not caring about being rude. "You are lost, Michelangelo. You need to surrender to the emptiness in your heart, listen to what it has to say. You have built a wall around you, my son. But instead of feeding noise to your mind, it needs to be left alone and contemplate, in the silence that you fear…."

"RAPH!" Michelangelo shrieked.

"…What? What is it? Mikey? I'm here… you are havin' a bad dream. Only a bad dream, Mikey….Everything's gonna be okay…" He heard Raph, from somewhere far away. He thought he was crying. He wanted to stop screaming but couldn't help it.

"Mikey? Mikey…it's alright, I'm here…" He felt Raph's palm around his shoulder. And he heard himself saying, "I'm sorry, Raph. Truly sorry. I'm so sorry, so sorry…" He just kept apologizing, but he did not know why. Maybe it's because he hated Raph for being so frigid about Donnie's absence. But that's not true; he knew Raph did care…

"Shhhh…calm down bro…" Raph was saying, gently wrapping his arms around his brother. "It's nothin' but a bad dream…"

"Raph…" Mikey gasped, "I'm so sorry…"

"Why d'ya keep sayin' sorry?" Raph asked in a blurry voice. Mikey finally opened his eyes, shedding his dreams, or rather, memories, and found Raph's face covered in panic tears.

"Raph, I miss him." He said, trembling.

Raphael rubbed his tears away, hurting his injured left eye.

"I miss him too, Mikey." His voice was soft.

"Raph…" Michelangelo managed to say, and then groaned as a blunt pain piercing through his left arm; there were clouds over his eyes again. "Raph… I can't make it."

Raphael swallowed. "Don't say that Mike… Of course you're goin' ta be fine…"

"It's burning and freezing…" Mikey's voice became faint and stifled, sinking into another deeper and darker slumber. Raph saw his lips moving but he could not make of what Mike was trying to say anymore.

Now he was alone.

-End of chapter two.