~I do not own The Outsiders~

(This part repeats three times throughout the song)

"And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same.
They can't see me,
But I'm still here."

Another day in school, Friday night to be exact. Last day before spring break, Pony was outside alone smoking. There were no adult supervision at lunch hour so he took the opportunity to do it. It made him relax. Other fellow Greasers hung out as well with their friends horsing around talking of their nightly adventures like the small fight between some Socs or some action with their girls. Taking another puff of smoke he exhaled it slowly, a hand ruffled his hair making him turn his neck around to see who it was. Curly Shepherd.

"Baby Curtis, how are you doing?"

Ponyboy grimaced at the mentioning of Baby. Curly noticed and began to snicker, "I mean, Ponyboy."

"M' Okay. You?"

"Just came by to see some of my guys, some small rumble going on tonight. I just want to confirm who's gonna go."

Fighting. Haven't been in a rumble in a long time. "How come ya'll gonna fight?"

Curly scratched his chin his eyes wandering around, "Don't really know...All I can say is this night around 12 there will be punches thrown around."

"Sounds...like a lot of fun." Obviously it was sarcasm but Curly took it serious so he smirked.

"I already told you, if you actually came with me to any of my fun adventures, your brothers would have my head," he raised an eyebrow, "and we don't want Baby Curtis hurt now do we?"

Shepherd saw one of his guys so he left grunting a goodbye. Ponyboy stared at the ground scowling, yet again he was rejected by the people he thought he would fit in. And yet again did he blame his brothers, after all, it was because of them that he was treated like some sort of fragile person. The bell rung, he shook his head heading to his class. I ain't no fucking baby!

Since tomorrow was the beginning of their spring vacation Pony decided to spend some time with Ben. So he walked to the DX where Sodapop was, he asked if he could use the phone to call Darry. It shouldn't be a problem, he was working in an office, so a small phone call wouldn't really be trouble.

"Darrel speaking."

Ponyboy gulped, "It's Pony."

Darry was more alert, "Something the matter?"

"Uh, no. I just wanted to um ask you if I could go to the movies, maybe have a burger afterwards."

There was a small silence, Pony rolled his eyes, I can't believe I still have to ask permission.

"All right, just be home by eleven."

"Really? I mean ok! Sure. Bye."

Sodapop was watching everything, Ben was outside waiting with his backpack hanging behind him. Steve didn't really care much so he was behind in the garage working. Ponyboy showed a small smile on his face as he hung up. Wow, did not...really expect that.

"I'm betting that Dar let you get out of the house."

"You bet right! See you Soda."

"Be careful!" His brother shouted making Pony blush from embarrassment, Ben laughed. Man, can he shout that any louder?

For the rest of the day both friends went to the movies. Some detective movie was rolling so they were all attentive to it. During the film, Pony frowned a little remembering his days with Johnny. How they also hung out together. How his favorite beverage wasn't Pepsi but Coke and every time they'd argue playfully of which was best. He sighed rubbing his watery eyes. Ben asked him what was wrong.

"Nothing, just a bit tired."

Then they stopped by the Dingo for some hamburgers. Time passed quickly having such a great time like there was no care in the world for a couple of hours. School, college, homework, stress all forgotten. After that they walked around some. According to Ben he felt fat so they had to take time to walk and digest everything. Finally Pony felt it was late so he said it was time for him to leave.

Benjamin waved him a goodbye walking another different direction from Pony's. The Greaser glanced at his watch that used to be Darry's remembering he even had it on.

The time was ten after eleven. Ponyboy was supposed to be home ten minutes ago. Just 10 minutes, it's no big deal. It shouldn't have been, to his brother Darry at home peeking behind the curtains it was. Sodapop told him to take it easy, that their little brother would get there soon. "You know how he is, ain't ware of the time. I bet he didn't even remember his watch." His older brother simply mumbled some words under his breath mad. Couple minutes later the door opened with Ponyboy walking inside unaware of the whole tension his lateness had caused. Soda welcomed him with a smile, "Hey there Pones, how was your night out?"

"It was ok...What's wrong?" He asked noticing something was off.

Darry folded his arms, "You're late Ponyboy, I told to be home at eleven."

"Awe c'mon Darry! I'm only fifteen minutes late!"

"So? I expect you to obey what I say Ponyboy. You're grounded for the rest of the week. No 'buts.'"

Sodapop sighed, "Darry ain't ya taking this a bit too far?"

Ponyboy nodded quickly, "Exactly! I mean, you've been late when you got out when Mom and dad were alive."

Darry turned around, "It's for his own good, if he keeps doing what he wants then he'll never learn to be responsible." He left the living room not saying another word.

Young Curtis clamped his mouth shut keeping all the words he'd like to shout at Darry. Is he fucking serious?! Soda gave him a sorry look, "He is right in some stuff. I mean, you're growing up. You have to ... be...more...Responsible."

Pony gaped at him, Oh please, not you too! It was one thing that Darry acted very strict with him giving him all those lousy orders but Sodapop agree with him? It just wasn't right. This was what Pony was talking about, how they treated him like a small child that didn't know what he was doing and then expect him to suddenly act like an adult. He felt like an animal trapped in a cage. The over protectiveness was over whelming. All the pressure from both brothers. Sodapop somehow got it in his head to also 'support' me with my studies.

"Nuh-uh Soda, this is taking things too far! I mean, It's not like I got drunk!"

"No...but you have to understand-"

Something cracked inside of Pony. Something he had tried to keep safe, like a fragile mirror. Although this time it shattered into pieces, his mission of keeping it together failed.

"Understand? Understand?! You have to be freaking kidding me!"

Sodapop flinched with his outburst, "It's just that -"

He pointed a finger at Soda, "Don't you say anything Soda! I'm real damned tired of all this! Can't I ever catch a break? No! Out of all the people that remain I thought you would understand!" Pony stopped for a moment as he saw a picture on the wall beside him of the whole gang. His mother had taken the photograph, Johnny's arm was around Pony's shoulder both smiling softly at the camera.

His eyes began to sting, "Johnny would have understood...I know he would..."

Middle Curtis felt like somebody punched him on the stomach, "Pony..."

"Just leave me alone."

He went off to his room slamming the door. Darry got out of his bedroom giving him a confused look to Sodapop who was standing right outside Pony's door. Darry never saw them fight ever, maybe argue yeah but never like this. Soda swallowed the small knot in his throat. Oh Pony. I-I'm sorry. Am I turning out to be a bad brother? Is-Are we taking it too far with this college crap?

"-pop!"

"Huh? What?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Darry...I think we are really going overboard with Ponyboy. I mean, he's just a kid anyway."

Darry pressed his lips into a straight line, "But Soda he needs to grow up soon. Getting into college-"

Sodapop interrupted him, "Darry! Seriously, you have to stop all this. We both know Ponyboy will do fine. He is doing great now! I don't see why you have to be all Hitler with him."

His brother raised an eyebrow, "Hitler? Really Sodapop?"

Soda smirked, "You know what I mean."

Sighing, Darry nodded slowly, "I guess you're right." He rubbed the back of his head feeling lousy.

"C'mon, go talk with Pony."

Darrel knocked on Pony's door. No answer.

"Open up 'lil buddy, I just wanna talk ok?"

Another knock, no answer again.

Sodapop spoke, "Ya can't stay in there all the time!"

Darry growled under his breath, his patience had run out so he twisted the door knob not caring what his smaller brother had to say. Opening the door his eyes widened with surprise. Soda peeked in scanning around the dark room since the lights were off. What caught his attention was that he window was wide open with the curtains blowing in the breeze. His stomach did a full flip.

He was gone.

ooOoOoOoo

Ponyboy was taken over the edge. Those over whelming feelings took over making him break inside.

He had escaped from his room knowing exactly where he wanted to go. They want me to change? All right, I'll give 'em a damn change.

"Curtis? What are you doing here?"

"You said that there's more than just 'studying shit.' I want to know...what more there is."

Curly grinned mischievously, "Welcome to the club."

(Sorry for any grammar mistakes)

Thank you for keeping up! (: