Shrek soars through the air like a majestic falcon
I wonder how Shrek can fly without wings
But I dare not question Shrek and his ways
Shrek looks down at me and says
"We're almost there, laddie"
I turn my head
I see the most beautiful swamp I ever saw
Shrek begins to descend
But Shrek miscalculated the weight I added
We were going in hot
"Hold on tight!" yells Shrek
I can feel the heat of reentry on my skin
I wonder why we were going through reentry even though we were already in the Earth's atmosphere
But it was too late for that
Shrek holds me tight to my chest and rolls into a ball
The moment Shrek touches ground he rolls
It was remarkable how Shrek was able to turn his downward momentum into forward momentum so quickly and fluently
Shrek does a back flip to finish off his spectacle
I clap to show Shrek my gratitude
"Now that wasn't so bad, now was it?" queries Shrek
I shake my head in agreement
Shrek carries me into his house and lays me on a bed
He kisses my forehead and tells me to get some rest
I slept all through the night
I awake in the afternoon
I hear the sound of people arguing outside
I pop my head out a window
I see Shrek arguing with someone
They appear to be an imp or maybe a hob goblin
No
Wait
It's neither
It's Farquadd
Why is he hear
What could he want with Shrek
None of this adds up
"Get outta my swamp, Farquadd"
Yells Shrek
"Not until I get what's mine"
What could Lord Farquadd want
This makes no amount of sense
I rush outside and go to Shrek's side, where I belong
Farquadd's eyes light up
"There he is!" proclaims Farquadd in his awful voice
Farquadd steps forwards
Shrek puts himself between me and Farquadd
"He isn't going anywhere, Farquadd" says Shrek
"You can't do this, you big ogre" yells Farquadd
Shrek stands up straight
He curls one hand into a fist
He then punched the palm of the other hand
Farquadd flinched
He then played it off as a muscle spasm
Shrek opens his big, ogre mouth
"Let's settle this the old way, Farquadd."
Farquadd simply nods
Farquadd removes his shirt with disgusting flamboyancy
Shrek simply flexes his big, bulging muscles
His entire shirt shreds into sixty thousand pieces
Shrek tells me to step back
I obey Shrek's wish
Farquadd steps into some kind of martial arts stance
Shrek quickly moves into the legendary grappler stance
His slouching posture and out-reaching arms remind me of Zangief
Farquadd wastes no time at taking the first move
He runs at Shrek screaming
Farquadd leaps into the air, shifting his weight to move into a Flying Dragon Kick
Shrek dodges the attack with ease
He then Grabs Farquadd's ankle and does a triple German suplex and combos into A grave stone
Farquadd struggles to get up, but manages
Shrek lunges towards Farquadd
Shrek does a mad back flip, kicking Farquadd in the chin
Farquadd launches into the air
Shrek follows him
Shrek starts doing mad air combos on Farquadd
Shrek manages to get a five hundred hit combo
Shrek goes for an air grab
But Farquadd had anticipated this
He techs Shrek's grab with ease
I can see the surprise on Shrek's face as Farquadd knocks Shrek out of the sky
Shrek hits the ground, hard
Farquadd falls on his feet, next to Shrek
He laughs at Shrek on the ground, all while doing a taunt
But this is what Shrek had hoped for
Farquadd's boasting had given Shrek enough time to recover his energy
Shrek hits Farquadd with a rising tackle
Farquadd soars through the air
Shrek uses instant transmission
He appears behind Farquadd as he flies through the air
Shrek hits Farquadd again, sending him in the other direction
Farquadd slides along the ground
He can see Shrek running towards him at full speed
Shrek does a Power geyser right to Farquadd's face
Farquadd lets out a blood curdling scream
He then denigrates
Shrek stands up, tired and battle-worn
He looks over at me and smiles
A tear rolls from his eye
"Shrek is love" he says
"Shrek is li-"