Author's Note-Hey everyone, it never ceases to amazement just how much people like zombies. There are zombie movies, zombie merchandise, and even zombie survival kits, but the thing that really interests me in learning more about zombies is when they mix zombies with scientific studies. A friend of mine emailed me a study about the state's most like to survive zombie attacks and the idea for this story was born. Hopefully you will enjoy it. But before we get the walking dead a quick thank you to all you all who were nice enough to leave reviews for the last chapter. Thank you to InfiniteHappiness, I love all yaoi, guest, bloodlily16, and saoirsewolf for being awesome.
Disclaimer- I do not own Hetalia, Apple, Plant Vs Zombies, nor any future Zombie Apocalypses.
Plants Vs Zombies
Nebraska was doomed.
Or he was if you believed a recent study by the company Estately. They had created a study to determine which states would best survive the zombie apocalypse. Some of the results had made total sense. Whether alive, dead, or undead anything that tried to invade Alaska would be wiped off the face of the planet rather quickly. Gun touting states of Wyoming, Colorado, and Idaho, that not only owned firearms, but lived in places where it was practical to carry them around and use them regularly also ranked quite high on the survey. Lastly, to round off the top five New Mexico this also made sense to Nebraska. After all, the state was obsessed with all things conspiracy theory.
Then there were the states that were clearly on the dinner table when the zombies invaded. The West Coast, East Coast, and South pretty much fit into this category. In fact the overall pattern across the United States was the coast swathed in the red of undead carnage, with the middle of the painted green with high predicted survival rates. The fields of green where broken with one pocket of depressing red smack dab in the middle. This dot of red was Nebraska and the explanation that Estately had given to this fact was, and he quoted, was "Something's wrong with Nebraska."
Perhaps if Nebraska would have been on the East or West Coast or even the Southern US he would have been able to accept his predicted fate, but the fact that he was the only state in his region doomed to be taken over by zombies ate at him. Add the fact that his apparent lack of zombie slaughtering skills meant that something was terribly wrong with him, and it explained why Nebraska was starting to have nightmares about the undead wandering across endless expanses of corn fields. After three weeks for battling zombies every time the state closed his eyes Nebraska sought help from state who had the highest predicted success during the zombie apocalypse.
"You do realize that Zombies do not exist right?" Alaska had stated, annoyance coloring her voice before promptly hanging up the phone.
His conversations with the other top ten most likely to survive states were pretty similar with some combination statements about the fact that zombies aren't real, you are an idiot, and why are you wasting my time. The only state that seemed somewhat sympathetic had been New Mexico who, after informing Nebraska that he was an idiot, had also given him a list of her favorite zombie films to watch 'as research'.
The films hadn't help. In fact, Nebraska was pretty sure that the movies had made more paranoid about walking corpses heralding the end of the world. He was plagued by worsening nightmares, insomnia, and a strong desire to become a vegetarian. At his wits end he began to spend his nights wandering. One of his midnights walks, he gained salvation from a very unlikely source. It came from the most doomed state on the list, the state predicted to fall first to the zombie hoards, New Jersey.
"Listen dear; you are going about this in the completely wrong way." New Jersey said with a roll of her eyes. "So what? You are not physically fit as Oregon, Utah, or Colorado. You are not as gun obsessed as Kentucky and Montana, nor are you as into conspiracies as New Mexico, West Virginia, or Wyoming. In the end those types of skills only take you so far."
"So," Nebraska said thoughtfully, "what you are saying is that we are all going to be eaten, forced to wander the world as brainless, undead corpses, and that we should just admit that to ourselves?"
"Nope, what I am saying is that you don't need those types of skills to survive the zombie apocalypse. The vast majority of those skills are offensive. Now imagine if you developed a defensive skill instead."
"Like what?"
"You like growing plants right?"
"Yeah…" He muttered while trying to figure out where New Jersey was taking this conversation.
"Then it is official, we have found your zombie survival skill."
"How could…" Nebraska started and then his eyes tracked across the tablet screen that his sister was angling towards him. Suddenly everything clicked into place in his head. "Oh…"
"The game is called Plants Vs Zombies. Play it well and you will be totally ready for whatever the walking dead send your way." New Jersey said as she gentle pushed out the door. "Now go forth, gain skills, and wipe out many virtual zombies."
With a crooked grin the Great Plains state took his sisters advice. After a few hours of game play he had regained his confidence. It was true that the internet still said Nebraska was doomed, but that is only because they didn't know how good the state was growing awesome plants.
End Note-Well, I hope that you enjoyed the first post in our zombie double feature. Fear of the undead will appear in the next post. Hopefully you all will enjoy it.